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A.J. Mahari
Ontario, Canada
I am a professional writer and BPD/Mental Health and Life coach.
Interests: music, movies, reading, writing, trivia, animals.
Recent Activity
There is definitely pain on both sides of Borderline Personality. Pain for those who have... Continue reading
Suicide is really not the answer to the pain of Borderline Personality Disorder. You may... Continue reading
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In my work with clients who have Borderline Personality and Loved Ones with someone in their lives who has BPD, I am often asked if there is really hope for recovery. Those with BPD and Loved Ones both ask this of me often. Continue reading
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Suicide is really not the answer to the pain of Borderline Personality Disorder. You may have once believed that or it may feel like it is the only answer when you are triggered and entrenched in black and white all or nothing thinking. Continue reading
The time is long overdue to free Borderline Personality, what it really is, what it really means in people's lives, from the psychiatric systemic pathological model which now includes Biopsychiatry This unproven but oh so pushed theory that Borderline Personality and any and all of what they call mental illness is a brain disorder by the "powers that be" in the dying "profession" of psychiatry needs to be challenged. Not directly, but inside of yourself so that you can find the healing and quality of life that you deserve and that is so possible to do in empowered alternative healing and recovery. Continue reading
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Does recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder mean reconnecting with people that had to leave to take care of themselves? In my experience the answer is no. It is important to grieve, let go and move on and to learn from past failed interpersonal dynamics so that they are not repeated in the future. What was then, was then. This is now. There are new people to meet, new relationships to forge and as someone who recovered from BPD, I have my - a found, known, and emotionally mature authentic self to fall back on in the meantime in ways that I didn't have when I had BPD. Continue reading
Borderline Personality Disorder, as it is defined in the DSM-IV, has been way too pathologized.... Continue reading
Borderline Personality Disorder is a formidable challenge for those diagnosed with it and for those who love and care about them. It is painful for everyone. Especially severely negatively effected are the parents of adult-children with Borderline Personality Disorder who do not want any help and yet may at the same time be leaving you very worried for them and angry about their refusal to get help. What is a parent to do? How do you cope? Continue reading
Life Coach, BPD (and Loved Ones) Coach and Peer-Therapist, A.J. Mahari, talks about how you can answer the nagging questions about whether or not you or a loved one of yours may have Borderline Personality in this 66 minute audio. Mahari talks about her own approach from her own expertise in understanding what Borderline Personality Disorder is often thought to be, how it is pathologized, how psychiatrists have check-lists that mean a lot of people with BPD (high-functioning people) aren't getting the diagnosis they need to be able to understand what they need to learn more about and become more aware about so that they can heal. Continue reading
A.J. Mahari, Life, BPD and Toxic Relationship Coach talks about what is at the center of toxic relationship/relational dynamics along with other issues - a fear of being alone and/or an inability to be alone - a profound, primal, loneliness that goes back to your early childhood. This loneliness is associated with a great deal of profound and primitive (early childhood) pain. Continue reading
Partners of those who are toxic – or those in toxic relationships have much more to learn about themselves in order to grow, heal, recover and/or create healthy change in their lives. Continue reading
BPD Coach and Peer-Therapist, A.J. Mahari, who recovered from Borderline Personality Disorder in 1995, has a new website that focuses on holistic and alternative as well as some aspects of traditional treatment for BPD. Mahari was the child and later the adult-child of 2 Borderline Parents. She is the Ex of person with BPD/NPD that she was in a relationship with and that she ended and then had to recover from as an Ex-Partner of someone with BPD/NPD, years after her recovery. She has been coaching clients since 2000. Continue reading
Resistance to treatment in Borderline Personality Disorder is very common. There can be as many reasons for this resistance to treatment on the part of people diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) as there are individuals with BPD. As someone who recovered from BPD in 1995 I can honestly say that knowing what that resistance is about from the inside out because, I too, often, in the process of my recovery, when I was in therapy, would present resistance and defense that blocked my learning, gaining insight, awareness, and my taking personal responsibility. Continue reading
It is very important to remember that study results are just that - results based on the sujbects studies and results can be skewed, manipulated, and misinterpreted. Even if somewhat accurate and I think to be more sure of what they claim they need much wider numbers of study subjects, what a study finds does not necessarily make it so in everyone's experience. If you haven't been studied how do you know if you would have fit the conclusions of any give study. Continue reading
Life Coach, BPD/Mental Health Coach and Self Improvement Coach, A.J. Mahari, has added to her... Continue reading
Loved ones, especially partners, of those with BPD, need to know more and understand more about the false self in Borderline Personality Disorder and how it can leave you feeling empathy, sorry for, and/or guilty about your reactions or feelings to the person in your life with BPD. The Borderline False Self can leave your head screaming "get out" and your heart not knowing how to let go of a relationship. Continue reading
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3RadicalAcceptanceMeditativePracticeaudiocoverLife Coach, BPD/Mental Health and Self Improvement Coach, A.J. Mahari in this original Radical Acceptance Meditative Practice audio for people with Borderline Personality Disorder offers an unique and practical way to actually begin or continue to practice radical acceptance while learning how to build some new coping skills that will help people with BPD take breaks from the pain, negativity, suffering, rage, and emotional dysregulation and reactivity that is at the heart of so much of their daily experience. Continue reading
Author, Life Coach, BPD/Mental Health Coach, A.J. Mahari, on video, on the subject of non borderlines, loved ones of those with BPD, partners, and family members having compassion for those who have Borderline Personality Disorder. Why is compassion for those with BPD important? What makes it challenging for those who are non borderline? Can compassion be confused with enabling and rescuing? Does compassion or lack thereof have anything to do with what you are experiencing from your borderline loved one? Can you or should you have compassion in the face of abuse, borderline rage, borderline splitting, on-again, off-again, cyclical and toxic relationships? Continue reading
Many people who email A.J Mahari, and many of her Life Coaching clients who are loved ones, family members, partners or ex-partners or on-again, off-again partners of a person with Borderline Personality Disorder are asking her about validation. Does it help if you, as a loved one of someone with BPD, learn how to validate and support the person with BPD in your life in how they are feeling and what they are communicating? Continue reading
Non Borderlines, Loved ones of those with Borderline Personality, need their own recovery. Author, Life Coach, BPD/Mental Health Coach and Self Improvement Coach, A.J. Mahari talks about this in her latest video about Borderline Personality Disorder for non borderlines. Most people think that it is just people with BPD that need recovery when the truth of the matter is that Borderline Personality Disorder, and the dynamics it manifests in all forms of relationships means that both those with BPD and those who know them are affected and often in negative, confusing, and painful ways. Continue reading
Author, Life Coach, BPD/Mental Health and Self Improvement Coach, A.J. Mahari now has her Thought Changing Affirmations Handbooks 5 Volume Set available. Through the use of these positive affirmations, one a day, or one a week, you can learn to change your negative painful thoughts into more positive pain-neutral and/or happy contented thoughts. Whatever the mind can conceive it can achieve. If you want and need to stop suffering and to experience more peace, more calm, less to eventually no emotional dysregulation in your life than Mahari's 5 Volume Set of Changing Your Thought Positive Affirmation Handbooks will be invaluable to you in your recovery process. A natural way to help empower your own recovery. A natural way that you have control over to change your negative thoughts into positive ones. You will feel so much better about yourself. Thoughts define our experience. What you think really controls what you experience, your pain, difficulty in relating to others, in relationships, in knowing who you are and so much more. It is all generated by the rigid thought patterns you've built up from a very young age and added to over the years. Affirmations might sound silly, or hardly like a hopeful solution to improve the quality of your life, but take it from Mahari who not only knows this and witnesses incredible change in the clients she coaches but she knows this first hand having recovered from BPD in 1995. Continue reading
The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) until recently was reluctant to reveal the source... Continue reading
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Adultchildrecoveryaudio1 Author, Life Coach, BPD and Mental Health Coach, recovered borderline, and adult child of two parents with BPD (one parent with BPD/NPD), A.J. Mahari has a new audio to help you to start and/or continue your own recovery. Learn effective tools and skills and boundaries to take back your own life. Learn to eliminate toxic guilt and feeling obligated to a personality-disordered parent. Continue reading
Speaking not only as a Life Coach, BPD, and mental Health Coach, A.J. Mahari emphasizes to you, if you are adult child of a parent with BPD, NPD, or any personality disorder (or combination of said) that you need your own recovery. Children do learn what they live. A great deal of the inter-generational suffering of those who were the children of a personality disordered parent or parents has to do with the toxic legacy of not resolving issues such as codependence, enmeshment, toxic relating, chaotic and unhealthy relationships with one's parent(s). There is a legacy to having been the child of a personality disordered parent or parents and A.J. Mahari knows this all-too-well in her own personal life as well having had a mother with BPD and a father with BPD/NPD. Personality Disordered parents are not emotionally available and children are negatively impacted as a result. Adult children of a personality disordered parent or parents need their own recovery. Continue reading
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Borderline Personality Disorder is not a “brain disease”. You can recover from Borderline Personality Disorder like I did. A.J. Mahari has a new audio out that features some of her experience from her own recovery as to what can keep people stuck and blocked from recovery and what is the focus, the way, and the direction to open to the process that makes recovery possible. Continue reading