Jersey Girl Genius's Profile | TypePad

This is Jersey Girl Genius's TypePad Profile.

Join TypePad and start following Jersey Girl Genius's activity

Join Now!

Already a member? Sign In

Jersey Girl Genius

Recent Activity

Sparkle Panties 107.1 Songwriting Challenge

Memo The Topic: Sparkle Panties Written in 15 minutes while driving. Download Memo Lyrics: Gonna go out tonight We’re gonna hit the town There’s something I need to do and I can’t have you around It starts with a Brazillian And then a little spray tan I’m gonna bedazzle my... Continue reading

Posted Mar 26, 2013 at Jersey.Girl.Genius

0

Voicemails from My Mother

When I was 17, I moved from Teaneck, New Jersey to 1600 Grand Avenue in St Paul to attend Macalester College. That was 17 years ago and I’m still here. Long gone are the keg stands and the booze fueled nights streaking across the big lawn. But there are still... Continue reading

Posted Jan 24, 2013 at Jersey.Girl.Genius

0

The lambs have most definitely not stopped screaming.

Jodie Jodie Jodie. I love Jodie Foster. I always have, always will. From the moment I saw her in Stealing Home, and the twenty or so times I've watched it since, I knew she was like me. I have always known (or, hoped or suspected, rather) that she was gay.... Continue reading

Posted Jan 14, 2013 at Jersey.Girl.Genius

0

thanks everyone for checking out the latest post. have to run, callum is throwing his puffs on the floor ...

Commented Sep 28, 2012 on Juggling Angry Kittens at Jersey.Girl.Genius

1 reply

Juggling Angry Kittens

I've had the best intentions of getting back to the blog over the last four or five months, but the demands of the real world, the one that doesn't allow me to search thirty minutes for the perfect visual to snarkily accompany my new mommy analogies, have definitely gotten in... Continue reading

Posted Sep 26, 2012 at Jersey.Girl.Genius

1

thanks ashley! very kind of you. if i wasn't sleep deprived, I'd have more to say on this topic. sleep is a very tricky one and we haven't mastered the ability to get our little one to stay asleep yet without being attached to us. will let you know when we decide to leave him in his playpen to cry it out, while the moms enjoy a gin & tonic.

Commented Mar 30, 2012 on Coming Out of The Co-Sleeping Closet at Jersey.Girl.Genius

1 reply

One Size Fits Small

Dressing an infant is harder than putting reindeer antlers on a cat. How hard can it be, really? All of these clothes are so tiny and cute and irresistible. I bet he can't wait to wear those mini corduroy pants, the holiday suspenders, the button down plaid shirt with ones-ie... Continue reading

Posted Mar 26, 2012 at Jersey.Girl.Genius

1

Coming Out of The Co-Sleeping Closet

Look, I'm no Dooce. My husband isn't a web designer or programmer, I don't live in Portlandia, I don't take professional photos and I'm not witty enough to have 50 million monthly visits. I do have a 4 month old baby who does droolishly adorable things and I tend to... Continue reading

Posted Mar 25, 2012 at Jersey.Girl.Genius

3

Shit (some) Lesbians Say

I am absolutely loving all of the shit girls say videos by Kyle Humphrey & Graydon Sheppard. Genius! They inspired me to create my own shit list. Happy 2012 everyone! Shit (some) Lesbians Say I’m just glad we had the wet/dry vac Sarah Paulson is on American Horror Story? Is... Continue reading

Posted Dec 30, 2011 at Jersey.Girl.Genius

1

The Chupacabra of Birthing and other Mysteries

On the morning of February 14th, we carried the giant frozen space capsule that housed (our teeny tiny vials of frozen pop) into the doctor's office. This canister looked like a cross between an oxygen tank and a fire hydrant and weighed about 40 pounds. Kids in the waiting room... Continue reading

Posted Sep 16, 2011 at Jersey.Girl.Genius

1

Just returned home from our baby shower in Jersey to this message from my mom. While I was in flight, Ginny was watching the US Open. She knows a gay when she sees one. She knows an Australian when she hears one, too. Gotta love the Ginbomb. Voicemail audio lives... Continue reading

Posted Sep 12, 2011 at Jersey.Girl.Genius

0

Babies R' Not Us.

Y and I took what I had thought would be an innocent stroll into the local baby superstore today, inspired by a particular interest in a glider for the nursery. In order to get to the section where they house the rocking chairs, you have to walk through the entire... Continue reading

Posted Jul 25, 2011 at Jersey.Girl.Genius

2

From Taiwan, With Like

It's been a while since my last Bachelorette post. Why the hiatus, you ask? I've found this season to be one of the most painful to date. Cooking up recaps tends to bring it all back, like a bad case of PTSD. I was waking up at night in a... Continue reading

Posted Jul 12, 2011 at Jersey.Girl.Genius

0

Thanks Chelsea! Fist baby. Ohhhh boy.

Commented Jun 16, 2011 on Are My Boobs Any Bigger? at Jersey.Girl.Genius

1 reply

One Big Gay and Seven Porcelain Veneers

I'm a few days behind with my Bachelorette recap for the (June 13th episode) and the guilts are starting to gnaw at me. Let's cut right to the chase and talk about the bright spots from this week's rainy Thailand episode. A lot of the Bachelorette-obsessed Twitter folk I follow... Continue reading

Posted Jun 15, 2011 at Jersey.Girl.Genius

2

thanks y. rumspringa 2011 or BUST!

Commented Jun 10, 2011 on My Summer of Rumspringa at Jersey.Girl.Genius

1 reply

My Summer of Rumspringa

People who have children take great pleasure in scaring the shit out of us. I think parents secretly enjoy telling us about all of the things we'll never get to do again. In some ways, I suspect parental misery loves company. Look, I don't blame them. If one couple emerges... Continue reading

Posted Jun 10, 2011 at Jersey.Girl.Genius

4

Julie - worst excuse for a roast EVER. I guess Ashley's already prepping for her next gig on Dancing with the Stars. Snoozefest.

Commented Jun 7, 2011 on Small Boobs, Big Heart. at Jersey.Girl.Genius

1 reply

Small Boobs, Big Heart.

I watched yet another painful episode of The Bachelorette last night. As predicted, there was a whole lot of crying, heartbreak and one tight camera shot of a melting, plastic Zorro mask. Ashley falls hard, she's made this abundantly clear. She also cries hard. The ugly, can't catch your breath... Continue reading

Posted Jun 7, 2011 at Jersey.Girl.Genius

4

The Bachelorette is Back! (Insert Annoying Giggle Here)

Ashley Hebert was kind of rejected by bad boy businessman Brad Womack on last season's Bachelor. You know, in the same way that she's kind of a dentist. A few porcelain veneers does not a dentist make. Just as a date in a tree house in South Africa does not... Continue reading

Posted May 30, 2011 at Jersey.Girl.Genius

0

Apocalypse Soonish.

It's the end of the world as we know it. And I feel fine. Truly, I do. I had my hair colored today, to cover up those persistent grays. Look, if I'm going to see Madonna, The Countess LuAnn, Mel Gibson, Jodie Foster, her Beaver, Lady Gaga and all the... Continue reading

Posted May 21, 2011 at Jersey.Girl.Genius

0

Me & Mrs. Jones

We've got a thing going on ... we both know that it's wrong, but it's much too strong to let it go now. What do we have here? January Jones has a scandelous baby bump. Betty Draper has been a very busy bee. Somewhere in-between tupperware parties, neglecting bobby and... Continue reading

Posted May 20, 2011 at Jersey.Girl.Genius

0

Celebrity Baby Naming: 101

If we were rock stars, this would all be so much easier. And no, I'm not referring to a never-ending selection of tight pants or on-call groupies. The rich and famous get a free pass when it comes to the monikers they choose for their offspring. Why is that? When... Continue reading

Posted May 17, 2011 at Jersey.Girl.Genius

1

Thanks Amanda! We're thrilled - and we'll definitely keep you posted. Take care of those mama nipples, now.

Commented May 12, 2011 on Are My Boobs Any Bigger? at Jersey.Girl.Genius

1 reply

Are My Boobs Any Bigger?

It's 10 pm and my girlfriend is now in bed. Earlier this week, bedtime was 7:30. What had started off as an innocent, tasty nap on the couch before Dancing with the Stars, turned into full REM sleep. I'm quite used to entertaining myself after hours these days. As a... Continue reading

Posted May 11, 2011 at Jersey.Girl.Genius

12

More...

Subscribe to Jersey Girl Genius’s Recent Activity