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Lesley @ Um...What??
Southern California
Big mouth...bigger heart.
Recent Activity
STEPH!! Whaddup, woman?!? Well, you've been here long enough to know that we don't know ONE IOTA OF CRAP about appropriateness. That kind of thing is for people who are appropriate. Or something. Either way, you're always nails in my book. Thank you for the condolences. I need them. And as long as my dealer doesn't read this blog (HAHA like my dealer can read) I should be fine. Karen: Thank you! I can always use all the luck I can get. Even on non-moving days. Thanks for visiting and glad you were able to find us here in our current limbo-land!
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Hi everyone! Thanks – as always – for the way you consistently return despite my erratic posting. (Erratic posting that's also kind sub-par as of late.) I really appreciate you all. I'll post details on where I went and why as soon as crap calms down! Mary: Gus will accept that west coast title, knowing the twins share that title on the east coast RECOGNIZE! How are they doing, by the way?? Ho: Dude. I KNOW. Gotta get the lunch gigs back in swing. And I'm trying to focus on the good parts of the change...though I am apologizing in advance for any bitching I may end up doing because of it!! Melissa and Donna: Okay - two mentions of Nunavut in the same post so I had to look it up. First of all: I LOVE CANADA! I've never been, but I seem to always love the Canadians I meet. (Ho/Chris is from Canada!) It certainly does look beautiful in Nunavut. Maybe I should move there next! (Donna - you will get your degree and, I'm guessing, go on to do great things in the world. We must never lose touch so I can keep up with all the amazing things you do!) MC: DUDE. A actual posted comment from you!! Which, I mean, you know, no big deal or whatever. *strikes a casual pose* (Although when I added Moses, I thought you might appreciate that part. xoxo) Jess: I TOTALLY did the throwing things away trick. Let's be honest: I have way more crap than any one woman needs, anyway. Moving is a stressful drag, and I've only done it twice in the past 11 years or so. Sorry you're way more familiar with it than I am. That tanks. (And, have I mentioned lately that you're awesome to spend your evening reading through the blog? WELL, YOU ARE.) Laurie! I miss you!!! Hit me with those goat pictures, woman!! The goats I know don't have a car to stand on, but they DO climb all over the golf carts when we drive them into the barnyard. Mr. Farty: WHADDUP, FARTY? Please move to SoCal. That would be so many kinds of excellent I couldn't even tell you. To this day I'm still jealous Jose has met you and I haven't. BAH. (Kiss the granddaughter for me, please.)
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Note: Today's post was originally slated to be much more than it is, but several things sort of took over my past week including 487 gagillion boxes and Gus The Cat's never-ending nervous breakdown which, incidentally, TURNED OUT TO BE... Continue reading
Posted Sep 3, 2010 at Um...What??
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Um....yeah. IF HE HAD ANY HANDS. IF YA KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN'.
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None of you liked my sparkly boobs??? Really? (Boobs: Um What's OTHER life force.) Merry Christmas, Farty! Happy New Year, Happy Valentine's Day, Happy Anniversary, ETC., ETC. Donna: I may not officially be Canadian, but I always try to celebrate on account of how I've never met a Canadian I didn't totally love. Lori and Mary: I'll add those shirts to the store right away! And then someday I might actually launch the store! Oh, of course I won't. Hi Jennie Sue, and welcome to the family! I wonder what hats would be appropriate for this occasion? Phil: B+? For THIS? You're getting soft, dude. Hi Laurie – I've missed you!! I was just thinking of you this morning and then...there you were. Thanks for celebrating This Blog Rocks Day! What a sad, lonely party. Heh. xoxox
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*Or seven days now. Or eleven or something. We don't really care know for sure. *Oh, close enough. Please send bananas. And vodka. And bananas soaked in vodka. Never mind. Just send vodka. * * * * * * *... Continue reading
Posted Jul 12, 2010 at Um...What??
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Whaddya mean, wasted time? Sure you can't actually buy anything here, but at least this post was totally entertaining!! Oh wait. Never mind.
Toggle Commented Jun 23, 2010 on The "Um...What??" Store! at Um...What??
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Lesley @ Um...What?? is now following MayoPie
Jun 21, 2010
Issa! How nice to be adored by one whom I adore. Because she is "TEH AWESOME." I'm always made so happy when you stop by! To show my appreciation, I've just mailed you a couple gagillion dollar bills. Let me know when you need some more. xoxox
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I love you guys. I can't believe you took time out of your busy days to read about my cat's poop. *shakes head in wonder* Mary: Please send my apologies to Maggie and thank both of the twins for the purrs. Yeah, I went more than a month between posts. That's lame even fore me. (Wait. I think. It actually might not be. I SUCK.) Miss Laurie!: Dear lord. It's like a poop factory over there. And horses, in particular, make A LOTTA POOP. (Related, sort of: I recently saw one pee basically ON someone. It seemed more powerful than a garden hose. Which was amusing, mostly because the person getting peed on wasn't me.) How IS Twister, by the way?? Chris: Those glasses ARE hot. Though I'm afraid I'm going to have to trade them in soon for one of those white canes with red painted on the end. And maybe a service dog. HALP ME. Donna: OMG YOU HAVE BEEN UPDATING YOUR BLOG. *zooooom* I'll need to spend some time over there. ("I will update once per year." HEH.) LOVED your FB pics of your trip though. You are so damn adorable. Seriously. Thank you for still hanging over here, despite your insane life. I am always happy when I've made you LOL. And I hope you DO do a geriatric poodle pee post. (Do do? How appropriate.) Hi Karen! I know, right?? I'm thinking of getting pants with a waistband just under my armpits and a pair of sensible shoes to complete the look. *continues beating men away with her stick* (OR I COULD GET A CANE AND BEAT THEM WITH THAT!) XUP: Hey woman!! That's actually really great advice. He had a great day of pooping yesterday and another nice one this morning, so we're going to try to put him back on his regular food again and see what happens. If still a no-go, I might try your suggestion. (Also: Please say hi to Bazel for me.) Buzz: Right? It's just inconceivable. *yawwwwns* *picks at teeth* FARTY!: Oh. More than one grain? Huh. Also, it did occur to me that I cooked this rice myself. Therein might lie 99% of the problem. AHEM. (HOW ARE YOU???) HH: Whaddup, girlie?!?! I SEE YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT IS IMPORTANT HERE. Okay. Vet? Not really that hot. And he's supposedly been a vet for 12 years, but I swear he doesn't look a day over 19. My eye doctor, on the other hand, IS kind of hot. Which is really disconcerting because do you even KNOW how close he has to put his face to mine during the exam? I'm like, OMG IS HE GOING TO KISS ME (?!?) and then I realize he's only going to look into my eyeball with that light thing. And then I'm blind AND disappointed. Pffft.
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Today's post is dedicated to my friend Tuna, who saw a performance of Cats at the Pantages Theater a couple weeks ago and thought it was for crap. Well, welcome to another crappy, cat-themed thing, dude! Only this one is... Continue reading
Posted Mar 28, 2010 at Um...What??
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Issa: Thank you so much. This means a lot to me coming from you. You have been doing such lovely blogging about topics related to love and changes and fallout and what to take from it all. As I told you on your site, I've never enjoyed reading you more than I have these days. Thank you for stopping by here. Your bravery inspires me. xoxo XUP: This is the most wonderful comment you've ever left me...and that's saying a lot! Thank you for caring the way you have and for being supportive even when my info is kind of vague on the subject. (Mostly this is because The Porcupine has no online presence at all and he is EXTREMELY and almost painfully private. So I do my best to respect and honor that...though I imagine it can be a little annoying!) Your support has always meant a lot to me because you are a strong, smart woman who is completely her own person and totally has her shit together. I admire these qualities in you. Yay for love!!! xoxox AND YAAAAY for Donna and her press credentials and her traveling all over the place and taking a million classes and completely excelling in everything she attempts. Talk about smart, strong women. *winks at Donna*
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Mary: Snoozefest? MUST you encourage Chris?? Because his comment – which I did not even fully get until he explained it – is that the NFL Combine is, apparently, the most boring thing in all of football, but still he'd rather watch boring, stupid football sh*t than watch one second of baseball. (Editor's Note: Every single thing in football is totally boring, stupid sh*t except for...no, it's all stupid.) Chris: SEE PREVIOUS COMMENT TO MARY. Lori: Synchronized swimming IS baffling. Mostly the part where you must continuously ask yourself things like, "How is that EVEN possible because they can't even see what's going on above the water?" and, "Why aren't they drowning??" And YES! That really IS Jared's tattoo. KAREN!!! A de-lurker! Thank you for introducing yourself! And you know what? The Porcupine is a Yankees fan (he thinks he's a Yankees fan AND a Dodgers fan which is not physically possible and we can all ad this to his list of numerous ailments...heh) and I put up with this so you know? I can work around it if you can! Lemme know. ;-) Phil: Oh dear god. I EXPLAINED to you why I had to use the one I did. ACCURACY AND INTEGRITY. Two things this blog obviously thrives on. But I will correct this for you in short order. I sense a Phil-themed post coming on. Or at least a Phil-themed P.S. HH: You are too kind. And lovely. And you know I love you madly. That's the power of, you know, YOU. Laurie: If you build it, he will cry? Something. Oh, I don't know. I'm surprised you're not more of a fan though, what with your smart, analytical brain and such. Numbers! Statistics! Odds! History! Men in tight pants! (Is this working?) Kate: Are you trash-talking about when the Dodgers will screw up? Or are you questioning the same of your Cubbies? Because really? Either could happen. Or probably both. Pfffft. (And check out Debra giving you lip about your team.) Debra: Ahhh. The Cardinals. I have big love for Ozzie Smith. And drunks. Because you're right: They're fun to watch too. (And minor league games are a total kick in their own way. You know, if you're into mid-inning taffy pulls and junk.) Farty!!: First of all, hi!!!! Big love to you!!! Second of all: SHUT IT.
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In celebration of the Dodgers first official spring training workout yesterday, this blog is offering up yet another post that's remarkably similar to baseball's infield fly rule: At best a lot of people aren't sure why it's even necessary and... Continue reading
Posted Feb 22, 2010 at Um...What??
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Hi Mary! Thank you, my dear. See??? I told you I was going to post sooner this time. And I'm just as surprised as you are that it turned out to be true! Jose: Oh dear lord. I'm think I'm a little embarrassed for you to have read this (on account of you can write circles around me in this arena) but thank you so much for taking the time to be here and for offering up positive reinforcement! Oh – and for telling me the post didn't totally suck. Heh. Mo, Mo, Mo. xoxox I know I already thanked you offline...but here is your formal online thank you. You have always been my biggest champion in this situation...always patient and understanding and open-minded about what the poor Porcupine's been battling. You've always been so supportive, have never EVER been judgmental and you have always – somehow – understood. Thank you for helping me get from where I was to where I am. And now...to infinity and beyond! Or something like that. xoxo Debra: Thank you. Sometimes our brains understand things long before our hearts are able to catch up. xoxo (Thanks for dropping by. It's lovely to see you.) Miss Donna!! Oh, sweet girl. You've left me some awesome comments in the past, but this one is far and away my favorite. You've always been such a big supporter of this blog and with all the other places on the web you could be and the STAGGERING school load you carry...you stick with me anyway. Thank you for reading and always making me feel like a gagillion bucks. I hope you know how much I appreciate you. xoxo P.S. I'm sorry you had a suckass day, my dear. I'm pretty sure you're the hardest working girl I know. If you ever need anything at all...if I can ever do anything for you, please let me know. Hugs and kisses back to you!
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Lesley @ Um...What?? is now following EUREKA UNSCRIPTED
Feb 16, 2010
Hi Laurie! Ohhh. An RSS reader. There's a novel idea. Yet another way I fail at blogging. Heh. I've missed you, too!!! Thank you for checking my blog all the time...despite the fact your efforts are so rarely rewarded. Um, if they EVER are. AHEM. Chris: HAHAHA! I knowwwww, right??? I was thinking at one point last night that maybe I could finally actually make money blogging if Lifetime would offer me a big fat check for the rights to turn my post into a movie script. ("The part of Chris will be played by that guy who plays Sawyer on Lost.")
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Today's post is dedicated to everyone, everywhere, who loves against the odds. * * * * * * * * * * The following crossed my Twitter stream a few days ago: Whom do you love?? It's such a deceptively... Continue reading
Posted Feb 15, 2010 at Um...What??
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Mayo and XUP and Donna: SORRY!! Updated the post to clarify the head thing. I'm good! And Mayo??? Heyyyyyyyyy. Thanks for adding some nice eye candy to my blog. I sincerely thank you. (And I love when you visit.) Mary: I knowwww. I am so awful. Thank you for coming back after so long! It means a lot to me to have you here. :) I'm attempting to post again in the next few days. We shall see. Farty: HAHAHAHAHWOOOOOOWEEEEEE! (How's that?) Chris: Animals always know, dude. That's why a cat always goes right to the person in the room who hates cats the most. Heh. Ryan: Right? After my intro/dedication to you it was all downhill from there. Really, really downhill. It's just sad. But at least 2010 isn't a total loss though – I'm still fortunate enough to have you popping in to visit. (SEE HOW I DID IT THERE? I am very sentimental.) XUP: I was hoping you would read this. And maybe be a little bit proud of me. xoxo DONNA: Woman, have I told you lately how much I love you? I have no idea how you manage to fit in reading here with all the five hundred gagillion other school things you have going on. But you faithfully return. So please do whatever is necessary to prevent yourself from exploding in a stress-fire ball. I would profoundly feel your absence. I hope that 2010 starts getting better for you because you deserve it!! I swear to GAH you are the hardest working woman I know. The universe owes you some payback karma, sister. xoxo
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Lesley @ Um...What?? is now following DragonHorse Studio
Feb 8, 2010
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Updated 2/10/10 to add: Sorry, everyone!! I didn't mean to imply I had some kind of head injury. The neurosurgeon referenced in this post is actually checking out the other person involved in the accident –– a gentleman who is... Continue reading
Posted Feb 8, 2010 at Um...What??
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Lesley @ Um...What?? is now following The Typepad Team
Jan 3, 2010
Lesley @ Um...What?? is now following Wil
Jan 3, 2010
Lesley @ Um...What?? is now following Account Deleted
Jan 3, 2010