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Kevin (Always Home and Uncool)
Semi-pro writer and imbiber.
Recent Activity
Safe at Home
A girl tosses out the ceremonial first pitch ands throws ... her arms around her dad who just returned from Afghanistan. Continue reading
Posted May 21, 2013 at DadCentric
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1
(Son of) DadCentric Review: Henry and the Incredibly Incorrigible, Inconveniently Intelligent Smart Human
Posted Mar 1, 2013 at DadCentric
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4
Wow. That sucks in so many ways for you and them. Hope the dictionary stops before F.
Commented Feb 6, 2013 on Cinnamon or Powdered Donuts at DadCentric
Cinnamon or Powdered Donuts
I roll over and look through the blurry haze of my half-open eyelids. My phone says it’s 7:27. I sigh in dread, not because I have to load up the family and drive the 1,300 plus miles from Texas to Indiana, but because I will be taking my stepdaughters away from their father. Ten year-old Al...
I thought our rule was "panties or it didn't happen."
Commented Feb 6, 2013 on DadCentric Roundtable: Post-Dad 2.0 Summit Edition at DadCentric
DadCentric Roundtable: Post-Dad 2.0 Summit Edition
So. Dad 2.0. We came, we saw, we made asses of ourselves (at least I did) on the karaoke floor. But what did we think of Dad 2.0.2? As before, I asked the fellows for their thoughts on the conference, via the magic of Electronic Mail. - Jason Whit: I thought Dad 2.0 was much improved in places t...
If You Give a Dad a Tortilla Chip ...
Some of us dads may have princess issues. But when it comes to nacho cheesy snack food, we can all agree on this. Continue reading
Posted Jan 25, 2013 at DadCentric
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2
You forgot "ha-cha-cha, I'm the chicken inspector."
Dope.
Commented Jan 23, 2013 on Conan The Dunce-arian at DadCentric
Conan The Dunce-arian
In my city there lives a man. And educated man. An educating man. Freshly made principal of the High School just this year. He grew up in this city. My wife remembers sitting behind him in Junior High.He started his career as a math teacher in this very system. About a week ago, this homegrown s...
Dad Pretends to be Gunman, School Responds 'Meh'
Posted Jan 14, 2013 at DadCentric
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Well-deserved, roomie.
I'm especially proud since the stuffed blue lobster I gave you appears as your photo in every single write-up you received.
Love,
The Guy Under You at No. 40
(Note to self: Blog much less in 2013. Seems to be a key to higher ranking this year.)
Commented Dec 18, 2012 on Proving yet again that I'm not nearly cool enough to act too cool to care at TwoBusy
Proving yet again that I'm not nearly cool enough to act too cool to care
In what can only be described as an egregious error in judgment, the good people at Babble have once again - inexplicably - decided to include me among far more deserving writers in their annual "Top 50 Dad Blogs" thing. They also named my comrades-in-DadCentric as the #1 group dad blog, and #4 ...
All it lacked was 20-click slideshow.
Commented Dec 14, 2012 on Jezebel Calls Kids Names for Believing in Santa, Steals Roast Beast at DadCentric
Jezebel Calls Kids Names for Believing in Santa, Steals Roast Beast
I have read a lot of offensive, mean, and just bad things on the Internet. Also, other places, but mostly the Internet. As you know, the offensive, mean, and just bad seem drawn to the web like moths to the flame, but unfortunately, unlike the bugs, most of them seem to walk away without so m...
I have the same arsenal but, sadly, my chainsaw is electric.
Commented Dec 8, 2012 on TannenBOOM! at DadCentric
TannenBOOM!
I keep a baseball bat tucked away under the bed on my side. Aside from a chainsaw and a few knives, it’s about as far as my arsenal goes. The thinking is, if somebody breaks into the house, I’ll be awakened by the sound of the alarm or the barking of the dogs or both. I’ll snap to, realize we’re...
When she 'twas about 7, my daughter begged for one of these cheesy magic sets that let you turn a piece of paper into money. The disappointment descended upon her in a rapid and ugly fashion.
Commented Dec 3, 2012 on The Saddest Thing You May Ever Read About Growing Up at awright Brian
The Saddest Thing You May Ever Read About Growing Up
This post is the saddest thing you may ever read about growing up. I'm not even kidding. There's no tragedy. Nobody dies. Nobody breaks anything. It's almost casual, this saddest thing. On the surface it's even cute, but the depth of pathos underneath could well swallow you whole. My neighbor h...
I got a rock.
Commented Nov 19, 2012 on The Cookies Were Delicious at awright Brian
The Cookies Were Delicious
President Obama sent me a box of homemade cookies for my vote. My neighbor got a jetski, and his neighbor got a Fisher-Price playtime kitchen, which was weird because he lives alone, but he seemed happy with it and that's what matters. The cookies were chewy and still warm, and the President's h...
Yes, We Have No Sex Today
A very brief talk between @homeanduncool and his questioning daughter. Continue reading
Posted Nov 9, 2012 at DadCentric
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Glad you made it through Sandy somewhat unscathed and good luck with today's storm. Meanwhile, I'm glad to come down and bail or prevent beer spoilage, whatever it takes.
Commented Nov 7, 2012 on It's All Fun and Games Until Someone Fashions a Metal Hockey Mask and Calls Himself The Humungus at awright Brian
It's All Fun and Games Until Someone Fashions a Metal Hockey Mask and Calls Himself The Humungus
There are no trees in our house. This may seem a mild, self-evident statement, like saying there is no life on Mars, but it isn’t. Monday night a hundred-year-old sycamore uprooted itself and crushed the roof of a house four doors down from ours, letting Hurricane Sandy inside for as long as it ...
Let's not forget about those who don't believe there should be FEMA. No votes for you!
Commented Nov 4, 2012 on Please Punch Any Climate Change Deniers in the Mouth Today at awright Brian
Please Punch Any Climate Change Deniers in the Mouth Today
Better yet, vote them out of office Tuesday. Thank you.
And you are. I'll keep the beer cold for you.
Commented Oct 25, 2012 on Women, stop bullying yourselves. at Motherhood Uncensored
Women, stop bullying yourselves.
I've gained about 10lbs since July from a combination of all sorts of things, but mostly because of a life and priority shift from skinny jeans and marathon training, to work, kids, and eating. Also beer. or really, BEER!!! {Due to the amount of which I've consumed, I feel caps and exclamation ...
At least ponies don't escape and crawl into bed with you. Unless you wronged someone in the mob. Hope the girl is well.
Commented Oct 24, 2012 on Not a Pony at awright Brian
Not a Pony
Note: I wrote this a little over three years ago, just after I retired my old blog. I sat down this morning, planning to update it and post it, but something I swear isn't laziness compelled me to leave it as it is (laziness). If you are new here and are interested in following the saga of my ol...
So that proves hot dogs really aren't made of lips and a-holes, right? Welcome back and pardon the mess we made in your absence.
Commented Oct 15, 2012 on Once at awright Brian
Once
Once my daughter was served a hot dog that had a plastic bag inside. Not inside the bun; inside the actual hot dog. She was a fussy eater, the kind that decorates the seat around her with strings of those things that aren't quite banana but aren't quite peel, and after the first bite of hot dog,...
Someone must be doing something right with raising her. Oh that Kristen. Happy day, little one.
Commented Oct 9, 2012 on Oh That Margot at Motherhood Uncensored
Oh That Margot
It's what everyone says when they spend more than a few minutes with this girl, with her husky little voice, ridiculously mature sense of humor, and mostly easy going personality. Just don't piss her off. Or accidentally bump into her. In fact, I'm almost certain she's a wise, old soul, back f...
Ah, I remember doing a few lunches with the kids in elementary school. Not my kids, but ...
Commented Oct 3, 2012 on The Best at DadCentric
The Best
I could hear it as we strode down the hall. We took our place at the end of the line. We entered through the big swinging doors and the sound ripped into me. My eyes watered and my head thrummed with it. I almost lost my footing. My nose bled. I steadied myself with the help of a large blue po...
RA Dickey pitched last night so the Mets game officially moved up mediocre TV.
Commented Oct 3, 2012 on CHAOS THEORY: October 2012 at MetroDad
CHAOS THEORY: October 2012
It's a dark and rainy night in NYC. The Girlfriend is in Europe for work. And after a long weekend of solo parenting three young girls, I just want to lie down on the couch, crack open a bottle of wine, and watch some seriously bad television. Before I get drunk and turn on the Mets game (the ve...
I favor my dog. Unlike my kids, he never put up a fight when I lock him in his crate.
Commented Sep 27, 2012 on Is It Okay to Publicly Announce Which of Your Kids is Your Favorite? (The answer is no, dumbass) at DadCentric
Is It Okay to Publicly Announce Which of Your Kids is Your Favorite? (The answer is no, dumbass)
I tweeted a sarcastic tweet the other day, and ended up on national TV, as part of what will probably come to be known as the most ridiculous of all parent blogging controversies ever. So there's this dad blogger who writes, in an offhand way, apropos of almost nothing, that he favors his olde...
Nice timing, Barbera clan.
Commented Sep 25, 2012 on Freaky Friday at DadCentric
Freaky Friday
To understand how freaky last Friday was for the Barbera clan, we must go back over 25 years. In 1986, my older brother Mike graduated from college. That same summer, I graduated from high school. I honestly don't remember what I did to ring in the New Year but ...
I'm misty reading this. Or maybe it's just the stinky fumes they are emitting.
Commented Sep 21, 2012 on An Ode to Old Shoes at DadCentric
An Ode to Old Shoes
I bought you at an Off 5th in Nashville during the late summer of 2008, just a few days after buying your twins on zappos.com, but you were cheaper and could readily be placed on my feet, so I sent your twins back when they arrived a few days later. I finally had summer shoes that weren't fl...
"If I it was about the kids, I would've managed a Chuck E Cheese."
I thought working at the Mouse was already how most teachers supplemented their massive public school incomes.
Commented Sep 13, 2012 on DC News Report: Chicago Teachers Demand Mo' Money, Less Problems at DadCentric
DC News Report: Chicago Teachers Demand Mo' Money, Less Problems
Dateline Chicago: The streets of Chicago ran argyle today as the teachers of the city took to them to demand soaring salaries and shorter days. "It's all about da Benjamins, baby!" Screeched 47 year old 9th grade Civics teacher Mary Ellen Bartrow. "Why do you think I went into teaching in the f...
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