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Chommo
Hurting you with the truth since 1977.
Recent Activity
I seriously believe that one day God was thinking of me, thinking “Hmmmm….I want to send Chommo a little present to show her I care. I’ve already sent her french fries, Louise Erdrich books, Prevacid, and the movie French Kiss. What other gifts can I send her?” Et voilà! The Lifetime Movie Network was born. Continue reading
Posted Oct 9, 2009 at the chommo chronicles
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Four weeks ago, on a lovely, late-summer Friday afternoon, I posted the following Facebook status update: [Chommo] is about to get her hair cut by a non-Dominican for only the second time in her life. Hold me, I’m scared. Well. By the tone of the responses, you would have thought I’d announced I was becoming a Red Sox fan or something. Don't do it! I'm scared for you!!You are asking for trouble!!! Nooooooo don't do it. Where are u? I will find you a dominican hair salon. Ay mi amor - be brave!!!!!!! …Then again, I get my hair cut... Continue reading
Posted Oct 8, 2009 at the chommo chronicles
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Stomach aches, low-level nausea, and I go way back. Way, way back to when I was but a wee lass. I think I inherited it from my dad, he of the famed unstable intestinal tract. I go to the doctor periodically and they tell me to take Prilosec,or they tell me that I suffer from gastritis and that I should go on the god-awful BRAT diet, or that I need to consume more fiber, blah blah blah, crap that doesn’t really work because more days than not I am doubled up in pain, wanting to throw up all over my... Continue reading
Posted Oct 6, 2009 at the chommo chronicles
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Welcome to .monday meet-up., a brand new feature on this here blog. Why? Because I make it a policy to only befriend interesting people; because my friends are awesome and you should learn more about them; because, as much as I love writing about it, my life is actually not that interesting. Today you get to meet The Thespian (pronounced “Thessspiahn). She’s not really a thespian – she’s a formally-trained theatre stage manager – but every time I utter the word “thessssspian” she starts laughing... Continue reading
Posted Oct 5, 2009 at the chommo chronicles
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I think the weird looks are directed less at me and more at my new-ish toy, the Fuji Instax camera Kim Jong-Illmatic gave me to cure my analog photography blues. It looks like a Polaroid camera (kinda), it sounds like a Polaroid camera, and it produces instantaneous photos with a technology you'd think people have never seen before. It doesn't help with the people-staring-at-me-all-weird business when I abruptly stop at street corners to capture random scenes. My current obsession are late summer/early autumn celestial-architectural silhouettes, both because they're pretty, and because they're pretty hard to mess up, but mostly because I tend to take them between 4pm and 6pm, that magical hour where the skies above New York City are straight out of a fantastical painting. Continue reading
Posted Oct 4, 2009 at the chommo chronicles
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But now that I’m actually here, with my 32nd birthday less than two weeks away, I find myself wishing that there was a rite of passage for people my age. This being the age of big decisions – the age when the full weight of the what-do-I-want-to-be-when-I-grow-up question manifests itself – there would probably be a little less sweetness to such a ritual. It’d be more like a Tense Thirty-Two, a This-Is-What-It’s-Like-To-Be-An-Adult Thirty-Two, a Terrified-At-My-Bank-Balance Thirty-Two, or, for those lucky ones, a This-Is-Right-Where-I-Want-To-Be Thirty-Two. Continue reading
Posted Oct 2, 2009 at the chommo chronicles
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I’m what you might would call a “morning person” – not in the sense that I am all chipper in the morning and want to run around and hug the world (sohelpyouGod if you want to talk to me before 8AM), but rather in the sense that I like to get up early, take care of my running/coffee/make-up/wardrobe/packing business at a leisurely pace, and ease myself into this cruel, cruel world by dint of silent, contemplative preparation and the dulcet tones of British white-girl soul singers. But some mornings, man, some mornings try the limited patience that I have for... Continue reading
Posted Sep 29, 2009 at the chommo chronicles
Wait – does it sound at all like I know anything about Latin? I don’t. Surely the fact that my darling friend La Doctora – and her two sisters (it was a total family domination over dead languages up in Connecticut) – all won the Latin prize in high school counts for something, right? But don’t cry for me Argentina: I won the history prize. True, I tripped going up the podium to collect my prize and my hair was colored a shade of red I like to call Ronald McDonald red, but I was a freaking winner too, damn... Continue reading
Posted Sep 26, 2009 at the chommo chronicles
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What? Is that you I hear muttering that it's actually Monday and not Friday, so why I am deliberately misleading you with the post's title? Well, I'm sorry. I had a busy, busy, busy end of week/weekend, what with the recuperating from a brutal session with the nice-on-the-outside, evil-eevil taskmaster-on-the-inside personal trainer, the planning for a business trip to Madrid, the nerves at having my hair cut by a non-Dominican for only the second time in my life, the getting ready for my niece's Sweet Sixteen and the subsequent dancing all night long in 4-inch heels even though I swore we were through, the running of eight horrendous, horrendous miles as part of my half-marathon training schedule, and the eventual collapse before the Emmy Awards telecast. Continue reading
Posted Sep 21, 2009 at the chommo chronicles
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Thanks to the wonder that is Pandora and one of my stations there, I’ve spent most of the day contemplating that sub-genre of R&B songs where there are two people in love with each other, but they can’t be together, even though they love each other so much that they're singing about their love for all the world to hear? Continue reading
Posted Sep 17, 2009 at the chommo chronicles
Yell and scowl? I actively PUSH people who are rushing on the train before I get off. Honest to goodness, I once pushed an old lady. Old, like in her seventies. And I don't feel an ounce of regret over it. Not a one.
Toggle Commented Sep 17, 2009 on .subway rules. at the chommo chronicles
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Still, summer in NYC does bring with it some magical moments: street fairs, zeppoles, outdoor concerts, piraguas and Italian icies, Macy's 4th of July fireworks, the orgasmic moment of getting on a chilly subway car after idling for 30 minutes on the 34th street station platform. But nothing in the New York summertime is quite as magical – baroque - fascinating – as the Coney Island boardwalk. Continue reading
Posted Sep 16, 2009 at the chommo chronicles
I love you too, and not just because you have my dream job.
Toggle Commented Sep 16, 2009 on .self-inflicted torture. at the chommo chronicles
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I just felt my body coil up in a hot ball of rage thinking about the pole leaners. Seriously. I may hate them the most of all.
Toggle Commented Sep 16, 2009 on .subway rules. at the chommo chronicles
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Ohhh, good one. In my experience, those guys like to congregate on the F train.
Toggle Commented Sep 16, 2009 on .subway rules. at the chommo chronicles
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Ahem. You think very highly of me, Sir.
Toggle Commented Sep 16, 2009 on .self-inflicted torture. at the chommo chronicles
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Five Guys is good (...so, so good) for a weekly treat, but I'm gonna need a more varied menu for the feast I am planning on having.
Toggle Commented Sep 16, 2009 on .self-inflicted torture. at the chommo chronicles
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The bodega across the street from my house will provide you with all your daily necessities : a wide variety of Jarritos sodas, organic low-fat chocolate milk and aloe vera juice; calling cards shaped like big Latin booties, french fries, plantains, and mariachi hats; starchy starchy cereals; aluminum food containers in all shapes and sizes; Fabuloso and Mistolin floor cleaners; an impressive array of feminine hygeine products; tomatoes, avocados, potatoes, yucca, onions; Bustelo coffee; confectioner's sugar; homemade Dominican cake; Aunt Jemima's pancake mix; ghetto wannabe Froz-Fruit icies; and chile and lime covered Mexican-style peanuts. They just ask one thing -... Continue reading
Posted Sep 15, 2009 at the chommo chronicles
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t some point in July, I decided I would train for and run a half-marathon before the end of this year. Let me tell you some facts about myself that have been immutable since puberty knocked me on my ass in the late 1980s/early 1990s: I have problematic hair, I am a bit of a chubster, and I am very well-developed in the boobular area (very). For a very long time, these last two traits made me never, ever want to take up the “sport”* of running. And yet there I found myself, looking up Hal Higdon’s half-marathon training schedule, and deciding I had it in me to run 13.1 miles. Holy isht. What have I gotten myself into? Why? Why, sweet Jeebus, why? Continue reading
Posted Sep 14, 2009 at the chommo chronicles
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But in the midst of all the cold-induced misery, there was a bright, shining, in-the-same-category-as-unicorns-rainbows-and-YSL-faux-cils-mascara gold-silver lining: my discovery of Puffs Plus tissues with Vicks®. Continue reading
Posted Sep 12, 2009 at the chommo chronicles
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Surely there exist 10 million cliché photos of the same thing, but the Brooklyn Bridge never fails to amaze and enthrall this born-and-bred NYC girl with its urban grace and beauty. Continue reading
Posted Sep 11, 2009 at the chommo chronicles
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There are some days – days like today, when all the kids who were mercifully absent from my commute for the last two months were heading, very loudly, into their first day of school, when I was all congested, scratchy-throated and drippy-nosed with a cold that I am praying to Jeebus, the Virgen de la Altagracia and San Miguel is not the swine flu (pleasepleasepleasepleaseIpromisetobeabetterperson) – when my fellow subway-riders get on my last damned nerve and I spend my entire commute rolled up into a hot ball of please-don't-touch-me commuter rage. Really, the world would be a better place if people just followed my subway rules. Continue reading
Posted Sep 9, 2009 at the chommo chronicles
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When Kim Jong-Illmatic and I got home last night, my belly was so full of food, laughter and good memories that nothing fit, not even my fat pants. Yep. This past Labor Day weekend was a fat pants weekend, and it was glorious. My fat pants still don’t fit. Nothing really fits, not yet, but it’s a testament to how good a time I had that I don’t even care. Not much, anyway. Continue reading
Posted Sep 8, 2009 at the chommo chronicles
How big of a surprise is it, really, that most of the time I feel like a top spinning its way this way and that without a clear destination and with no hope of inertia kicking in with its miracle properties? Books I am currently reading: 1. Possession: A Romance 2. The Girl with the Tattoo Dragon 3. A People's Tragedy: The Russian Revolution 1891-1924 4. Predator's Ball: The Inside Story of Drexel Burhman and the Rise of the Junk Bond Raiders 5. This Duchess of Mine Things currently on my to-buy list: 1. A paper-mache sculpture of a rooster... Continue reading
Posted Sep 5, 2009 at the chommo chronicles
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In anticipatory answer to your questions: No, we don't have any children, and infrequently entertain any in our house. Yes, we do have a large collection of permanent markers. Maybe - just maybe - the Sharpie fumes were getting to me. Continue reading
Posted Sep 4, 2009 at the chommo chronicles