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elpf
An intellectual nomad.
Interests: running, weightlifting, taekwondo, snowshoeing, hiking, reading, biking, sewing, scrapbooking, science, gene therapy, drug development, fabric, american football, neuroscience, history of science
Recent Activity
Less than 100 meters into the swim and I am drowning. I've been warned. People told me that triathlon swim starts could be rough, but to be honest, that isn't the problem. The problem is, I've started out too fast, too fast and I'm still trying to keep up with the stronger swimmers in the group. I pop my head up to see where we are. Breathing too hard, I think. There is no way that I can make it to the buoy, not to mention the end of the swim. I check again. Where are the lifeguards? They are... Continue reading
Posted 4 days ago at Evil Genius(es) in Training
In my mind, I enter the water gracefully, letting the water slowly cover my face, my ears, my hair, letting it block out sound. I stay under water for a beat, open my eyes, then surface softly, a picture of tranquility. In reality, the pool is loud and the light is poor. I eye the other swimmers warily as we put on our goggles and swim caps. I shiver myself to the edge of the pool and stick one toe in. I wait until the last possible moment, when everyone else is in the pool. I splash awkwardly, flopping as... Continue reading
Posted 5 days ago at Evil Genius(es) in Training
This morning I saw the sunrise. It was fleeting. I only caught a glimpse as I was cresting a hill and then it was gone. I didn't have a camera, so I didn't get a picture. Maybe it is better that way. I believed, for a second, that I was the only one who had seen the sunrise. When I looked again, the sky had returned to its dull shade of grey. I had a rock in my shoe. This rock has been there for several days now and I just keep kicking it to the front and moving on.... Continue reading
Posted 7 days ago at Evil Genius(es) in Training
I don't always take the time to notice everything that is good in my life, but a few weeks ago my husband caught me standing outside, just staring off into the distance. When he asked me if everything was OK I said, "Yes, I was just looking at our yard and thinking that I'm really very lucky to have the life that I have." I could never really imagine how good my life would be. I've spent far too much time in the dark spaces of my own mind, in places where there was only black and white, success or... Continue reading
Posted Sep 15, 2016 at Evil Genius(es) in Training
The past few mornings have been clear. So clear that it seems I can see all the stars. I don't see stars a lot. Growing up in the city, there was always too much ambient light. I saw the stars only when I snuck out of the house in Maine at night to wander down to the beach alone. For a time the stars were the thing that would calm me, center me. If it was cold, and quiet, and dark, and I was alone, I could recognize that they were beautiful. I recognize now that for a time, looking... Continue reading
Posted Sep 14, 2016 at Evil Genius(es) in Training
I am vacationing in a place that provides me daily evidence of my own privilege. We play at the pool and on the golf course surrounded by people who look mostly like us. It has not escaped my attention that a large proportion of the service jobs (waiters and waitresses, cleaning staff, groundskeepers) are filled by people who do not look like us. I note that this causes me some noticeable discomfort. This is discomfort both with the evidence of my own privilege and with the fact that I know of no suitable way to address it. I do not... Continue reading
Posted Jul 9, 2016 at Evil Genius(es) in Training
In high school one year, I volunteered to be on the team of kids who debated whether we should celebrate columbus day. I was assigned to the team that argued against it. My job was to appeal to the emotions, to drag the debate through the mud. I did. I looked up every horrible story about white Europeans and what they did to Native Americans. I talked about smallpox infested blankets and forced death marches. I described the horror of dragging ones gunshot entrails through the mud. I had quotes and I had numbers. I told these stories because it... Continue reading
Posted Jun 15, 2016 at Evil Genius(es) in Training
Day 1: Ran 4 miles on tired, sore legs. I'm glad I did it. Since the last 3-4 miles of the half marathon were where things fell apart, I decided to work on my mental game. I kept telling myself to keep running, because it is supposed to hurt and no matter how much it hurts, being disappointed in myself for walking is worse. In other news, I think I need a foam roller. Learned about the double Boston marathon (start a the finish, run to the start, run the marathon.) Of course, that is what I want to do... Continue reading
Posted Apr 19, 2016 at Evil Genius(es) in Training
The best thing is when these two come tumbling down the stairs in the morning together. The kitchen door is closed, so I can't really hear what they are saying, but I can hear their laughter and their footsteps. They are making jokes and faces together. I just stand at the kitchen counter with my coffee and I listen. Continue reading
Posted Apr 7, 2016 at Evil Genius(es) in Training
I hadn't decided how to vote until I took the ballot. Heck, I hadn't even decided which ballot to take. I'm unenrolled, so I could take either. I briefly considered taking a Republican ballot because I hate Trump so much. I considered it, but I couldn't figure out for whom I would vote. For a while it seemed like Kasich was maybe the best of the bunch. Then he went and did <a href="http://www.cnn.com/2016/02/22/politics/john-kasich-women-kitchen/">this</a>. Maybe it bothered me more than it should have. In the end, I took the Democratic ballot and voted for Sanders. I have to admit that... Continue reading
Posted Mar 3, 2016 at Evil Genius(es) in Training
I changed my name on Facebook. Partly, this was because I am uncomfortable with the idea that people could find me. I wanted to be more anonymous. Also though, I waste too much time on Facebook and I share too much without thinking. This bothers me. No, that isn't right. It doesn't bother me to share, but it bothers me to share on someone else's terms. It bothers me to share in little bits and bites without explaining and then it bothers me to explain. Somehow, changing my name seemed like an opportunity to change my identity, to change how... Continue reading
Posted Mar 2, 2016 at Evil Genius(es) in Training
The thing I like best about swimming is that my form is terrible. Sounds weird, right? Here is the thing: almost every other sport I do, the basic comment I get is, "your form is great, I have nothing to tell you." You know what that means? It means that the only way to get better is to just keep doing what I'm doing, over and over again. I've reached the level of proficiency* where it is all about repetition. We went on vacation. I took a snowboarding lesson because I haven't snowboarded in 7 years. On the last run,... Continue reading
Posted Feb 20, 2016 at Evil Genius(es) in Training
When I resolved to write one thing every day, I never said it had to be good. I never said it had to have a beginning, a middle, and an end. I never said it had to be meaningful, beautiful or resolve anything. I only said I would do it. Sometimes beauty and meaning and resolution have to wait. Continue reading
Posted Jan 6, 2016 at Evil Genius(es) in Training
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I expect too much of myself and am therefore afraid to start. Once started, I continue out of habit and fear of what would happen if I stopped. I stop and then must start again. Sometimes, when I pull in to the gym and there are too many cars in the parking lot, I want to turn around and go home. I go in anyways. When I swim, I am always afraid I will be the slowest in my lane. Sometimes I am. I don't worry that I will finish last. I probably won't lose my job, even if I... Continue reading
Posted Jan 4, 2016 at Evil Genius(es) in Training
I yell. I am impatient. My humor tends strongly towards sarcasm. Sometimes I even let them eat fruit rollups before breakfast and play with paint and glitter glue. Continue reading
Posted Nov 12, 2015 at Evil Genius(es) in Training
Three years on, and she still doesn't always sleep. The truth is, I think she's just stubborn and when there is action, she wants to be part of it. Alden, my first, didn't really prepare me for this. He always slept. I mean, of course there were times when he was overtired or wound up or just having a bad day and I would be tearing my hair out, but the truth is he slept when he needed to. With him, I drove myself crazy trying to get him on a schedule. Then he would go down for a nap... Continue reading
Posted Oct 9, 2015 at Evil Genius(es) in Training
Last week I had the privilege to participate at an event at my gym. It was sort of an informal competition, with coaching and feedback. Unfortunately, due to a lack of planning on my part, it occurred only a week after my “race” up Jay Peak. On Monday, after the race, I was extremely sore and tired. I could walk up and down stairs, but it was not comfortable, I was dehydrated for a few hours in the morning, and I took a nap in the afternoon. On Tuesday when I went back to work, I was still sore, but... Continue reading
Posted Sep 27, 2015 at Evil Genius(es) in Training
In the spirit of celebrating PRs, no matter how they come, this weekend I did this crazy “race” up Jay Peak. 25k and almost 5 hours up and down (and up and down). I have run farther, and I have run faster (actually, there was very little running), but it has been a long time since I have done something so challenging physically and mentally. The course starts out with a nice rolling section, some of it on gravel access roads (those are not so much fun). Then there is a fun and relatively flat section of single track through... Continue reading
Posted Sep 9, 2015 at Evil Genius(es) in Training
Lately I've been having strange dreams--endless hallways of doors, giant lazy susans filled with inedible and endless trays of celery, dips and cheeses and death defying encounters with giant, spinning dishwasher blades. I've decided that my subconcious is telling me I have to make a choice, but I have no idea what that choice is. Continue reading
Posted Aug 10, 2015 at Evil Genius(es) in Training
The Perfect Mile By Neal Bascomb Three men, each with something to prove, compete to become the first to run a mile in under 4 minutes. To some extent, the story is well known but this book tells more and Neal Bascomb does a great job of creating suspense with the story, despite the fact that I already "knew" the result. This is another book that took a while to get going, but once I got into the heart of it, I couldn't put it down. It tries to tell a bigger story about how amateur sports became professionalized, but... Continue reading
Posted Aug 5, 2015 at Evil Genius(es) in Training
In an attempt to read more, discover more about what excites me and (maybe) become a better writer, I'm going to post the books I read. I started somewhere in the middle of July, but it seems as good a time to start as any. Without further ado: Orhan's Inheritance by Aline Ohanesian When Orhan's grandfather dies, he leaves the business to Orhan and the family home in Turkey to an unknown Armenian woman, Seda, who lives in a nursing home in California. In order to keep the peace in the family and honor his grandfather's wishes, travels to California... Continue reading
Posted Jul 30, 2015 at Evil Genius(es) in Training
There is one remaining patch of snow in our yard. It is behind the house, in the shadow of my workroom. We discovered it while playing outside after school. The kids were dressed for spring in short sleeves and shorts. Continue reading
Posted Apr 16, 2015 at Evil Genius(es) in Training
A recipe for which I made a name first and then a recipe. Unfortunately, despite the name it uses only a single apple and therefore will not use your entire apple harvest. Ingredients: 2 Tbsp vegetable oil (for the pan) 1 Tbsp chili powder 1/4 tsp cinnamon 1 medium white onion 1 apple, chopped into 1/2 inch pieces 1 Tbsp brown sugar 1.5 lbs ground beef 1 tsp worcestershire sauce 1 cup butternut squash chunks 1 16-oz can black beans (drained and rinsed) 1 16-oz can diced tomatoes 1 24-oz can pureed tomatoes 1 Tbsp cocoa powder Salt to taste... Continue reading
Posted Mar 25, 2015 at Evil Genius(es) in Training
Two years ago on the day after Thanksgiving, and three months after Zoe was born, I decided to take Alden to see the Turkey Trot in a nearby town. I'm not sure why, I suppose I had just started exercising again and I wanted to get out of the house and Brian volunteered to be on Zoe duty. I suppose it must have been close to the time I started going back in to work. I wanted to run the 5k, but I hadn't trained. I was nervous and I suppose I was afraid I might finish last. We watched... Continue reading
Posted Nov 28, 2014 at Evil Genius(es) in Training
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90% of parenting is just walking around yelling "WHERE ARE YOUR SHOES? WE'RE ALREADY LATE! FIND YOUR SHOES!" — Lurk @ Home Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) November 22, 2014 That sounds about right. Mornings in our house go like this: Alden wants at least three different things for breakfast. One of these things is in the basement. (The basement! Everyone loves the basement! Everyone wants to get their shoes on and make a trip down to the basement! No, mommy cannot go down to the basement by herself because Alden and Zoe might miss something exciting that has happened in the basement!)... Continue reading
Posted Nov 26, 2014 at Evil Genius(es) in Training