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John H.
Columbus, OH
Recent Activity
Gosh, so many things get relationships into trouble ... I would say chief among them is the lack of communication. Boyfriend doesn't mention porn because, quite frankly, it's just better if he doesn't. He doesn't choose to involve her, so there you have it. Is he right never to mention it? Hard to say, but under the circumstances he may already know her views on the subject, and has chosen the safer route. Girlfriend doesn't mention porn because, well, quite frankly, it hasn't ever come up. Until now. So now she has to deal with it. She should talk to him, and make whatever deal she can. If he says it would not be reasonable to "give up" porn, then there you have it. She can then decide whether to compromise or not. But even if he agrees, he's probably only going to take (stronger) measures to ensure she doesn't find out. That's too bad, but defining sexual behavior as wrong has never eliminated it. NEVER. (Gee, I wonder why, he asks rhetorically.) Porn is only different in many people's eyes because it involves sex, and most of us seem to have our fair share of hangups about it. Some, more than their fair share. It's reasonable to ask for what you want/need in a relationship, and good for you if you get it. But asking and GETTING are two very different things. Everything is a negotiation, and everything is a compromise. Oh, and be careful what you ask for, too.
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I'm with ya. This is a time to be thankful for being alive and for having/being with family and friends who love us. It doesn't take an imaginary sky father to make it humbling. Oh, and I do like that presents thing, too! Giving, of course--not receiving.
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