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Tennis Observer
Serve'n Valley
I hate Đoković, Sharapova, the Williams sisters, De Brito and proud of it.
Recent Activity
Pull your head out of the Famous Arse, Nadturd.
Commented Jan 26, 2011 on The Rafa Runs Dry. at Forty Deuce
The Rafa Runs Dry.
The quest is over. It wasn't supposed to end with Rafa limping, on the verge of tears, taking a beatdown out of respect for his friend and the game he loves. But that's how it ended and I think everyone's still trying to get their head around this one. It's a somber mood around these parts....
Nadal has run out of Uncle Toni's juices.
Commented Jan 26, 2011 on The Rafa Runs Dry. at Forty Deuce
The Rafa Runs Dry.
The quest is over. It wasn't supposed to end with Rafa limping, on the verge of tears, taking a beatdown out of respect for his friend and the game he loves. But that's how it ended and I think everyone's still trying to get their head around this one. It's a somber mood around these parts....
If Nadal can use fake MTOs (Wimbledon/Petschner) why not the other #1?
Commented Jan 26, 2011 on Gone, But Not Forgotten. at Forty Deuce
Gone, But Not Forgotten.
Fran lost to Caro yesterday. But that's the secondary story. I'll have more on Fran later, but seeing as how after playing nearly five hours two days ago she came blasting out of the gate and, for a set and half, made Caro look like a junior who had no business being in the top 100 let alone...
Li Na, one of the dumbest ball bashers winning a Slam would be comedy gold.
Commented Jan 25, 2011 on How Do You Say "HOLYCRAPISTHISREALLYGOINGTOHAPPEN" In Mandarin? at Forty Deuce
How Do You Say "HOLYCRAPISTHISREALLYGOINGTOHAPPEN" In Mandarin?
Do I dare say it? Do I jinx it for all of Asia and hard-working, sassy, no-nonsense Asian girls? I've been trying to ignore Nails as much as possible but, just as sneaky Asians do, she's been quietly kicking-ass, gaining a head of steam, and she now takes the court with an air of inevitabili...
Good job by The Shemale. One less ball basher.
Commented Jan 24, 2011 on "Dolly Wants a Cracker. I Think I Should Get Off Him First." at Forty Deuce
"Dolly Wants a Cracker. I Think I Should Get Off Him First."
Dude. You did not. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, YOU TOTALLY DID. (Pics: Getty)
Lopez - sore loser. LOLz
Commented Jan 22, 2011 on I'd Blame The Heat, But Isn't It Always Hot Here? at Forty Deuce
I'd Blame The Heat, But Isn't It Always Hot Here?
Today was a weird day. Walk with me. First off, it was Heineken Day at the Australian Open which basically means, if I understand it correctly, cheap beer. If you had a grounds pass you could get in and drink pretty cheaply on site. So things were already kicking by the time I arrived at no...
.
Commented Jan 18, 2011 on She Rules. 'Nuff Said. at Forty Deuce
She Rules. 'Nuff Said.
What do you say after that? No really. I've been staring at this blank screen for the past hour and all I can think is "What am I supposed to say?" My favorite player came into this tournament with a lot of hope and just played a gutty match against a game opponent, saved match point after ...
Good riddance, I say.
Commented Jan 14, 2011 on The Seven Stages of Draw Day at Forty Deuce
The Seven Stages of Draw Day
Stage 1: Joy HOLY SHIT, IT'S DRAW DAY! Time to settle in with a cup of coffee (possibly spiked, if you're me), flip on the computer, and soak in the awesomeness of yet another Slam. Stage 2: Heartbreak It's all fun and games until Dinara draws Kim in the first round, or Masha lands in Venus' q...
The Shemale rules!
Commented Jan 12, 2011 on Ukraine Hates Whiners. at Forty Deuce
Ukraine Hates Whiners.
Dolgo kicked off his day by finishing off Tomic in their rain-delayed match, 62 in the third, took a nap, then came out and knocked off top-seeded Sam Q. in straight sets. And yes, that headband is still a thing. (Pic: Getty)
Del Potro is boring ball basher. Good riddance.
Commented Jan 12, 2011 on On To Melbourne. Who Knows, Really. at Forty Deuce
On To Melbourne. Who Knows, Really.
It was a weird match, really, but Mayer's slicing and dicing in the wind won out. Delpo said he wasn't tired from Monday but his footwork was definitely off (though that could have been a result of Mayer keeping him off balance with slices and droppers). He unleashed a handful of solid foreh...
I'll wait for your analysis when Ivanović goes out to the #1XX player somewhere and talks the same bullshit on the presser.
Commented Jan 12, 2011 on Pardon Me: Caroline Wozniacki at Forty Deuce
Pardon Me: Caroline Wozniacki
[Welcome to a new regular FD feature called "Pardon Me", wherein I...well...you'll see.] Cibulkova d. Wozniacki, 63 63, Sydney Rd 1. Q. What did you think of today? CW: Well, it's always -- at the start of the new season you always need to get into the match play. I didn't feel that I was pl...
Viva la mediocrity! I guess it's the influence of reality shows that retards prefer to watch retards.
Commented Jan 11, 2011 on Pic This: This. This Is Why I Hate You. at Forty Deuce
Pic This: This. This Is Why I Hate You.
Whatever. You're good at tennis. And you make it look impossibly balletic. Like I care. I prefer my tennis to look like this: Yeah, baby. (Pic: Getty, AP)
Mommy's boy.
Commented Jan 11, 2011 on Spreading The Joy. Or Whatever It Is Andy Plays With. at Forty Deuce
Spreading The Joy. Or Whatever It Is Andy Plays With.
Mum and Son hit the courts in Melbourne with some kids to teach them the finer points of jaw-stretching, how to be the best tweeter ever, and how to balance a ball on your head while your mom is trying to be serious. Dude. That kid has some form, no? Andy looks worried. Aw...look at my b...
Del Potro is the Ivanović of ATP.
Commented Jan 10, 2011 on 1-0. at Forty Deuce
1-0.
del Potro d. Lopez, 67 76 76 in 3 hours and 20 minutes. That's the first win in almost a year for the Big Fucking Giant, and the match somehow seemed closer than the scoreline even indicates. The good news: He was able to play a 3+ hour match and win, and he was generally able to hold easi...
Not surprising from a French.
Commented Jan 7, 2011 on Pic This: All You Need To Know. at Forty Deuce
Pic This: All You Need To Know.
(Pics: Getty)
Well, it's already 7th of January, well into the season, so I'm not surprised.
Commented Jan 7, 2011 on WTF Is In The Water in Perth??? at Forty Deuce
WTF Is In The Water in Perth???
Serbia had to withdraw from the Hopman Cup final (Belgium will take their spot) because Ana's got an abdominal tear, suffered during her match against Justine, which has also forced her out of Sydney next week. Fran had to retire from her match with a groin injury. Robbie had to fight a ...
The bigger problem is that Petković is a dumb ball basher.
Commented Jan 7, 2011 on Pic This: Off With a Bang. at Forty Deuce
Pic This: Off With a Bang.
Great start of the year for Petko, who takes out Groth in a hard-fought three-setter to make the semis in Brisbane. As is her trademark, she shot her gun and did a little dance before sending a heartfelt racquet clap Jarka's way. Sidenote: Jarka's husband, the newly mohawked Sam Groth, serve...
So Murray is a Nadtard and Federer's lapdog on GSs. He needs more haggis and he must man up.
Commented Jan 6, 2011 on Air Quotes: Hee. Nice Caveat, Andy. at Forty Deuce
Air Quotes: Hee. Nice Caveat, Andy.
"A lot of people are saying, 'Well, it's not all in the one calendar year.' But I don't really think that makes any difference. If you hold all four slams at one time, it's an incredible achievement. Even three in a row is amazing. That's what all of us are competing against. He's one of the bes...
Sharapova should retire. There are enough dumb ball bashers remaining in the WTA to fulfill this category.
Commented Jan 6, 2011 on Oh, So We're Doing This Again, Are We? at Forty Deuce
Oh, So We're Doing This Again, Are We?
You know how I know Maria lost? Because I woke up and saw pictures like this on my photo stream. 62 75 to 31 year-old Greta Arn. Nice work, dude. See you in Sydney, I guess. (Pic: Getty)
Bigger difference between Federer's and Đoković's style of game. But at the end Bird played well with some added variety. He deserved it.
Commented Jul 2, 2010 on Cat Fight! at Forty Deuce
Cat Fight!
For 99.9% of FD readers, tomorrow is an awesome day. Fed's not involved and there's every reason to root for each of the final four to win. For Tomas, it'd be a hard earned reward for accomplishing the impossible. For Nole, it would be a roar of "I'M RELEVANT, GODDAMMIT!" and furth...
Is it mandatory for Abercrombie models to grope their own schlongs on ads?
Commented Jul 2, 2010 on As If There Were ANY Doubt That She's The Smartest Woman On The WTA Tour... at Forty Deuce
As If There Were ANY Doubt That She's The Smartest Woman On The WTA Tour...
BEEEEEEPPPPPAAAAAAA! Nice comeback today against the still impressive Pronk to make her first Slam final! And no, she didn't lose her shit. Sadly. But we have one match to go. Losing your shit on Center Court? Now that's some legendary shit losing. This is just so great to see from a...
I feel sorry for the dog. Where's the PETA when we need it?
Commented Jul 2, 2010 on Cat Fight! at Forty Deuce
Cat Fight!
For 99.9% of FD readers, tomorrow is an awesome day. Fed's not involved and there's every reason to root for each of the final four to win. For Tomas, it'd be a hard earned reward for accomplishing the impossible. For Nole, it would be a roar of "I'M RELEVANT, GODDAMMIT!" and furth...
Mental Wreck in a GS final? MWUAHAHAHA
Commented Jul 2, 2010 on As If There Were ANY Doubt That She's The Smartest Woman On The WTA Tour... at Forty Deuce
As If There Were ANY Doubt That She's The Smartest Woman On The WTA Tour...
BEEEEEEPPPPPAAAAAAA! Nice comeback today against the still impressive Pronk to make her first Slam final! And no, she didn't lose her shit. Sadly. But we have one match to go. Losing your shit on Center Court? Now that's some legendary shit losing. This is just so great to see from a...
Federer v Đoković would be a better match than Berdych v Đoković.
Commented Jul 2, 2010 on Cat Fight! at Forty Deuce
Cat Fight!
For 99.9% of FD readers, tomorrow is an awesome day. Fed's not involved and there's every reason to root for each of the final four to win. For Tomas, it'd be a hard earned reward for accomplishing the impossible. For Nole, it would be a roar of "I'M RELEVANT, GODDAMMIT!" and furth...
F UK! Long live free Scotland!
Commented Jun 25, 2010 on Um...Can You Show Up All The Time? at Forty Deuce
Um...Can You Show Up All The Time?
Look at that fucking hipster. The Queen showed up and The Moose put on a show. He served huge and sliced and diced his way to a solid win backed up, importantly, by a solid performance. If that didn't impress you, Queen Lady, I don't know what will. It was really beautiful tennis. ...
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