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I M Perfect
on the Sturgeon River
A Lady living her truth and sharing her experience.
Interests: Art Quilts, Art, Writing, Spirituality, Reading,
Recent Activity
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I finished "Educated" by Tara Westover. What an interesting read about being raised by parents whose view on the world changes yours; and then how to see life differently when leaving the family. She takes us on the journey of seeing how she was raised and how it impacted her view on the world. How she believed the lies her father told her as the truth. How completely it bled into her DNA. How hard it is to wrestle free of the conditioning of our parents. And, the cost you will pay when you change your mind. The insanity that... Continue reading
Posted 4 days ago at IMPERFECT Lady
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Learning how to manage life, often means juggling between reality and our preconceived idea of how our day will go. The best laid plans often get put aside in order for life to move forward. Perhaps it is best to lead from this moment in time, and do the next thing that pops up. I am getting better with life's sudden turns. From an open night of bike riding, to instead running errands so my husband can fix my breaks. The breaks began grinding on my route. They can't wait. But the bike ride can. Sometimes I plan a yoga... Continue reading
Posted 5 days ago at IMPERFECT Lady
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I am listening to a Memoir "Educated" by Tara Westover. In it she mentioned the side of the oppressor, when someone is looking for equality. Now, as unreal as this may seem, the way she said it had me looking more at the oppressors than at those seeking equality. The oppressors ARE the ones who have reduced the equality in the lives of those seeking it. Whether it be disabilities, color, gender, sexual orientation, the oppressors ARE the ones who are withholding equality. This changes the way I see the world. And, who most often are the oppressors? The majority.... Continue reading
Posted 6 days ago at IMPERFECT Lady
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"We look for happiness - but, we don't look for things that make us unhappy, and work to get rid of them." I heard this on a podcast. And, now I can't find the source of who actually said it. I believe it was Jesse Itzler - being interviewed for his book "Living with the Monks." But, I love this idea. Often we are focused on things that we feel will make us happy, overlooking the stresses in our lives, the things and relationships that affect how we feel. The ones who break our peacefulness and cause us to feel... Continue reading
Posted 7 days ago at IMPERFECT Lady
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Extra Ordinary woman doing amazing things, are my inspiration. Pushing beyond the expectations of others! I created this quilt to recognize the badassery in completing a full Ironman. During which her bike was left in a high gear and she pushed the bike up hills. Imagine the tenacity it takes to not quit when things get tough. I don't know her, (well we are friends on social media - and are becoming known to each other) but she adds hope and possibility to my world. She needed the assistance of a leg person. One who would carry her legs into... Continue reading
Posted Jul 12, 2018 at IMPERFECT Lady
Joanie, I am happy that you are continuing to find new levels of being you! The only thing that really changed in our lives was his new friend. He changed his world. Our lives felt the changes, even though we ourselves didn't change. I love that we have continued to be our best selves and finding our empowerment and redefining who we want to be. I love that you have boundaries and are learning what to trust and feel what is good for you. Becoming a woman you are proud to be! Thanks always for your words.
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This thought came to me today. "We people please to be liked, loved etc - because we don't know who we are and if we even really like ourselves." For me, this is true. Before I really knew myself - I needed others to define me...and kindly. I needed others to be the love I didn't have for myself. I had to people please, for I needed them to color me nicely. There was no part of me, literally, that was formed by me. I was drawn by how the outside world saw me. They held my identity. To be... Continue reading
Posted Jul 11, 2018 at IMPERFECT Lady
Judy, it isn't always easy doing what your insides need for peace, but it certainly has created a life where I am at peace. I too was a people pleaser and giver; but I gave for the wrong reasons or out of worrying that I would appear in a bad way if I didn't give. Now, I make sure it aligns with my values and that the giving isn't going to negatively affect the receiver. Sometimes, we give too much and it becomes enabling. Living undivided, has been a remarkable journey I am very grateful for. And, I love that when I heard the term being whole and undivided, was integrity, It rang true to me. I know you can also live undivided - cause you are badass!!
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Integrity - the state of being whole and undivided. I heard this definition and it made complete sense to me. Integrity is about how you feel inside. About doing, saying and being in harmony with your truth. Integrity means, you have to do what you feel, or be divided inside. Integrity means it isn't at all about the outside or the folks who live there. It is all about your heart, mind and soul. Often, I think we think of integrity as doing what you said you would do; an accountability to someone else. I had never heard it defined... Continue reading
Posted Jul 3, 2018 at IMPERFECT Lady
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My 3 year old granddaughter was helping me add beads to my quilts. She would suggest colors and placement. I loved her ideas! After each quilt was tagged and ready for the show, she would say, “Hold it up Grandma” and she hugged it, saying to the Lady - “The people will be so happy to see you!”. I love her simple expressions of Art. How she feels the soul of Art. She is very intuitive, for in each piece is the soul of the artist. Art is very important to humanity, where we are often too shy to show... Continue reading
Posted Jun 24, 2018 at IMPERFECT Lady
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An Art Show was planned before the flooding rain came. And now...we wondered do we carry on. Are there rules, or is there a period between disaster and when we gather for joy? The show is scheduled for Sunday Afternoon, exactly a week after the rain. How are we supposed to respond in the days after, in our lives, with our plans? I know that there are families facing really hard times, and pain and suffering surrounds them. In the darker times of my life, I liked being able to leave my pain behind and look at art. Art gave... Continue reading
Posted Jun 19, 2018 at IMPERFECT Lady
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Edge States - from "A View From the Edge" by Joan Halifax "Over the years, I slowly became aware of five internal and interpersonal qualities that are keys to a compassionate and courageous life, and without which we cannot serve , nor can we survive. Yet if these precious resources deteriorate, they can manifest as dangerous landscapes that cause harm. I call these bivalent qualities Edge States." "The Edge States are altruism, empathy, integrity, respect, and engagement, assets of mind and heart that exemplify caring, connection, virtue and strength. Yet we can also lose our firm footing on the high... Continue reading
Posted Jun 15, 2018 at IMPERFECT Lady
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I am in my 9th week of recovery, this week I have returned to work, biked and hiked - and the hip is holding up well. Recovery pain is different than the pain of injury. It is more like fitness pain. Each time the pain gets less and the achievement becomes more. In fact, I can see the potential of going further than I have ever been before. Where the pain would stop me, I see an open space now. The surgeon said, I will feel good at 3 months, and notice a remarkable difference at 6 months and will... Continue reading
Posted May 24, 2018 at IMPERFECT Lady
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We traveled over to Martha's Vineyard by ferry. I wasn't expecting there to be so many open beaches; I pictured the shorelines all privately owned. This sign appeared by a sandy road heading towards the beach, a sign that said you are welcome to drive, if you dare. My husband put it in four wheel drive and on we went. What a fabulous beach this road led to. In the middle of Martha's Vineyard is this wide open public beach! I am sure mid-summer, it would be much busier than we found it. I was so excited to be near... Continue reading
Posted May 21, 2018 at IMPERFECT Lady
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I highly recommend travel recovery; where you take a road trip while recovering from surgery. Not physically able to work, but yet in good shape to be a tourist. I walked sandy beaches... And rocky shorelines. Climbed a few steps. Steps leading to new views are way more exciting. One tower was too high for me to climb, but just going part way was my therapy for the day. While walking around each new little town searching for art and interesting things I took many steps and usually investigated each shop until my hip hurt. New England narrow streets held... Continue reading
Posted May 19, 2018 at IMPERFECT Lady
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Today I looked at my wedding album, a small, very small plastic one, with just a dozen or so pictures. Small amateur 3 x 2 snapshots of our special day. It's a reflection of how my old religion, and society in general, looked upon a couple who were expecting a child before marriage. We were supposed to keep it quiet and small. Shameful. Yet, I don't remember that day as being one of shame; but of happiness and love! One of my biggest regrets was that we didn't have professional pictures taken. These small blurry and now fading pictures are... Continue reading
Posted May 8, 2018 at IMPERFECT Lady
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I am thinking, that I am now shopping by feel. It is the feel of the fabric itself and then the way it feels on me, and not so much about how it looks. I am no longer able to handle clothes that hurt me. And, I believe if I feel comfortable, I look comfortable in my own skin. This may be what "old" feels like. Doing what you love, instead of what is in fashion1 I think Sylvi and I shop the same way, we are delighted when we find something that makes us smile inside! I hope that... Continue reading
Posted May 6, 2018 at IMPERFECT Lady
Thanks ladies, I am so happy that my body adjusted so well to a new hip! Sylvi and I will sure have many fun adventures to enjoy! I am grateful that I have been affected by many wonderful women! And, if my life can inspire others, how cool is that!
Toggle Commented May 3, 2018 on Endless without Pain at IMPERFECT Lady
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Today marks six weeks since surgery and I feel at least 10 years younger! It is quite remarkable how pain is so dense, and quite heavy to carry. Like a negative friend who tries to drag you down with magnetic pull into a small life. I didn't realize just how much of my energy was used up dealing with the pain, until it is more or less gone. Now all my energies are spent living. I feel like I have been given a new lease on life. The adventures that now seem possible, has opened up my horizon! I am... Continue reading
Posted May 2, 2018 at IMPERFECT Lady
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What I love about writing on this blog are the answers and understanding I get, that I didn't have previously. Yesterday, I believed that we had to change MSU, and found out the bigger and most important change will happen with the Sister Survivors. Somehow we often believe our happiness and well being lies outside of who we are. That we need changes to happen in order for our worlds to be better. And, this change is often see "out there". They need to.... Fill in the blank. However, if you instead turn your eyes inward and see if you... Continue reading
Posted Apr 25, 2018 at IMPERFECT Lady
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I have tried blogging about the MSU case and the Sister Survivors and my experiences, trying to show how upside down and backwards it all is. I feel like typing this is banging my head against the wall, that there are no words to make sense of the insensible. And, at the same time it brings me comfort to know I am not the only one who feels the struggle for change. Who will be the leaders of this change? Can it be driven by the victims? Will 200 plus women be enough to swing the power into their favor?... Continue reading
Posted Apr 24, 2018 at IMPERFECT Lady
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While watching my 3 year old granddaughter pick out fabrics, squealing with delight, when a certain one excited her, I realized that this is art. The way colors, designs, and how they go together, make you feel. It is about the feeling. Or at least this is how I do it. What ever excites me is what I play with. She is funny, being so young and knowing what she loves. My daughter and I would try and move her in a direction of fabrics, that may co-exist together in harmony and she refuses to be led. She knows what... Continue reading
Posted Apr 16, 2018 at IMPERFECT Lady
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This was originally posted in April of 2009 - I believe it shows the adult child learning to be her own person and how it feels to set out and try to detach from the cycle of abuse. I have been re-reading some of my earlier posts. What I have read, I still agree with. I love how 10 years later I still agree. Freedom Bus Once you surrender to the wave of Truth, your journey has just begun. The journey of a million sorrows! You will be taken backwards, a life in review. You will walk with small feet,... Continue reading
Posted Apr 9, 2018 at IMPERFECT Lady
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Tomorrow is the 10th Anniversary of this Blog. It is amazing that I have been coming here to discover more about me. It has been a place to sort out my confused mind and leave more aware. I am proud of its content, and the author. I have touched on touchy subjects, shined light into dark places and spoke from my heart - often displaying brilliantly tragic emotions and self-discoveries. It's the journey of leaving a family of abuse, a cult-like religion and learning how to be empowered, free and self-loving; learning how to be imperfectly Me! Often the blank... Continue reading
Posted Apr 8, 2018 at IMPERFECT Lady
Yes ladies, if you have a healthy body, the world is at your doorstep. You just have to step off and into the world to enjoy the wonders that are there. I know this hip replacement has been an eye opener on so many levels. I will so appreciate even more the joys that I can reach with ease! Handicap accessible has a new meaning to me. It was there; but now I can appreciate the ease it offers and how crucial it is!!
Toggle Commented Apr 5, 2018 on Freedom Beyond Measure at IMPERFECT Lady