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I M Perfect
on the Sturgeon River
A Lady living her truth and sharing her experience.
Interests: Art Quilts, Art, Writing, Spirituality, Reading,
Recent Activity
"I am human and I find I have fear ready to escape my throat just as often as stories and solutions. But, when I make a choice, I move forward and, no matter how shaky my voice is, I know the foundation of truth I stand on is solid." Mwende Katwiwa It has been 13 years since I broke out of denial and into reality and have been speaking about the affects of sexual abuse and being raised in a very strict closed religion. And, the first truths were mostly uttered to family. Taking the side of the victim. I... Continue reading
Posted 7 days ago at IMPERFECT Lady
"Welcome out of the cave, my friend. It's a bit colder out here, but the stars are just beautiful." Plato I love how she was able to articulate the over arching energy of living in a cult for women and children. How she was only motivated when those she loved were mistreated. And, how she had to learn to become a leader for her own six year old self; as an adult. I know, there will be many who will try and defend the First Apostolic Lutheran Church, how it isn't 'as bad as this'. But, the outcome is the... Continue reading
Posted Dec 3, 2017 at IMPERFECT Lady
I brought in some of the tubs to start decorating our home. My granddaughter was helping me, and was excited to see what we would discover in the buckets. Bright bulbs, stars, delicate candles, greenery and lights...we then saw the Mangers, and she said, "I want to play with the barn and girl". I then decided, we would not be putting up the mangers this year. I wasn't ready to introduce her to the theme of sin, a savior and her 'unworthiness'. How have I celebrated without religion in the past 12 years? Do I still want the familiar religious... Continue reading
Posted Nov 29, 2017 at IMPERFECT Lady
In reading Brene Brown's book, Braving the Wilderness, she writes about having a strong back. "Strong Back" "All of us spend our life constantly strengthening our back, softening our front, and trying to listen to the whisper of our wild heart. For some of us, however, the focus of our work will be on developing a strong back. When strengthening our back is our particular challenge, we are often driven by what people think. Perfecting, pleasing, proving, and pretending get in the way of a strong back. Our way to strengthen our courage muscle is learning how to put BRAVING... Continue reading
Posted Nov 28, 2017 at IMPERFECT Lady
Listening to Elizabeth Gilbert speaking about the heroe's journey, she mentioned that most, if not all, are about Men. My generation of women are becoming the first who are daring to break the chains and to do differently than the generations who came before us. Yet, we have no model to go by. Today on Facebook, there was a quote "Change is gesturing for me to follow Waving coming through the open door As I stand at the threshold The past tugs at my soul My heart is torn, which way to go A step forward is a new beginning... Continue reading
Posted Nov 27, 2017 at IMPERFECT Lady
I watched Tim Ferriss on the Ted Talks this morning as I pedaled along... and the part that struck me was the question of "The Cost of Inaction." Every now and again, I have doubts about my journey, whether I am on the right path for me or not. And, this phrase, "The cost of inaction" is very helpful in laying aside my fears. There is a greater cost of doing nothing in dysfunctional homes, especially where abuse has become the norm, than the cost of making new choices. What I have gained is much greater than what I have... Continue reading
Posted Nov 26, 2017 at IMPERFECT Lady
Shafali Tsabary's new book, "The Awakened Family" has what she calls "The Mandate of the Awakened Family." The time for a new beginning has arrived, Where family is no longer the chain that binds us But is the earth from which we blossom And the sky we learn to fly. No matter how the family unit looks, It begins with a parent and child. A relationship that holds the energy of the sun, With the power to break patterns and resurrect the spirit. The awakened family waits for no one, It begins to heal right here, right now. It recognizes... Continue reading
Posted Nov 14, 2017 at IMPERFECT Lady
My Lady and I were in an Art Show this past weekend. What a great reception we had! While packing to go, I came across a quilt I had made back in 2009, 8 short long years ago. She was incredible in her darkness and Art. I titled her "Me and My Shadow". I believe it was for a local quilt shop challenge. Either way, the look and feel of this one compared to my latest works is quite remarkable. The fabric was dyed by me. (which reminds me, I need to play in Dye again.) I see her face,... Continue reading
Posted Nov 13, 2017 at IMPERFECT Lady
When asking "What is a good day?" you can tell a lot about a person. What has been interesting to me, is that most often the good day is a random day, perhaps one that happens only once a year. What then are the other days? I am one of the very lucky ones, that has a random bad day. The rest are good days. However, I don't believe it was always this way for me. I too, used to have just a few random good days in a year; the rest were a blur of grey heavy responsible ones.... Continue reading
Posted Nov 2, 2017 at IMPERFECT Lady
On Krista Tippett's podcast with Atul Gawande, they spoke about "What matters in the End". Asking, "What does a good day look like?" What is interesting about this conversation, is that we often (as we get older) put our end of life wishes down; whether we want life support etc. What is rarely asked, "What is a good day for you?" And, not only should this be asked as we near the end of our life; but everyday. In the end, what will matter is can you still live your good day? Do you want a clear mind, less pain,... Continue reading
Posted Oct 30, 2017 at IMPERFECT Lady
In her book, "The Awakened Woman" Tererai speaks about finding your sacred dreams. "...All this happened by naming an unnamed longing in her heart. That is the the awakening of our consciousness. When we listen to what makes us ache and breaks our hearts, we find our Great Hunger, our sacred purpose." She has a few questions to ask yourself in moments of silence- space and meditation. "Where do I look in my community or in the world and feel my heart aching with some lack , pain or injustice? "What does my heart long for? "Repeat the questions if... Continue reading
Posted Oct 29, 2017 at IMPERFECT Lady
I am listening to, and reading Terrai Trent's book, "The Awakened Woman". I love it. There is so much I want to share. "Soul Wounds" "We might think that the easiest thing to do in the face of so much silencing would be to put our hope in the future generations. But this struggle does not end with us. The vicious cycle of silencing women is not only in Nikita's or my ancestral village, it's global, and it forces women to make drastic decisions that further marginalize them, which in turn seals their fate at various levels of trauma to... Continue reading
Posted Oct 25, 2017 at IMPERFECT Lady
I wonder how can I be so neglectful to something I live so close to; my body. My job has my body doing repetitive motions - daily for six out of seven days a week. My arms and shoulders catch the most strain. I had been doing yoga off and on for over 12 years and then when I got active outside, I stopped. I am now trying to get my body in shape for a hip replacement, and doing yoga is part of my plan. I was shocked at how stiff I was. How painful my arms were as... Continue reading
Posted Oct 4, 2017 at IMPERFECT Lady
There will always be sad news in the world; sometimes we are familiar with the location and at times our personal world will be affected. Sometimes we know what to do and how to help; and at others we just feel sad. What I feel, is that to balance the world, if you can, is to do something that brings you peace. Just as when my personal world had so much sadness; I found a place to refuel with Art. Tonight I grounded myself in fabric. Doing what I love- with women posing in activities I enjoy doing. When my... Continue reading
Posted Oct 2, 2017 at IMPERFECT Lady
Brene Brown goes on to say, in her new book "Braving The Wilderness" - about dehumanizing. "Challenging ourselves to live by higher standards requires constant diligence and awareness. We're so saturated by these words and images, we're close to normalizing moral exceptions. In addition to diligence and awareness, we need courage. Dehumanizing works because people who speak out against what are often sophisticated enemy image campaigns - or people who fight to make sure that all of us are morally included and extend basic human rights - often face harsh consequences." "An important example is the debate around Black Lives... Continue reading
Posted Oct 1, 2017 at IMPERFECT Lady
"You are only free when you realize you belong no place - you belong every place - no place at all. The price is high. The reward is great" Maya Angelou. I began reading Brene Brown's new book "Braving the Wilderness. I love this part. "Belonging is the innate human desire to be part of something larger than us. Because this yearning is so primal, we often try to acquire it by fitting in and by seeking approval, which are not only hollow substitutes for belonging, but often barriers to it. Because true belonging only happens when we present our... Continue reading
Posted Sep 29, 2017 at IMPERFECT Lady
In listening to a podcast, I heard a new way to look at changing behaviors that are not good for us. The idea is, that we are triggered, we behave and then we reap the reward. What was different this time, was the content of the reward - "Feeling Bad". If you sit with that awhile, you will see how your behaviors often leave you feeling bad; compared to feeling healthy, excited, accomplished etc. When I overeat on sweets, my reward isn't that I feel great. Not like I do when I ride my bike for an hour, or hike... Continue reading
Posted Sep 27, 2017 at IMPERFECT Lady
From "A Mind At Home With Itself" Question asked of Byron Katie; and her response. "Mind is everything; mind is good," you say. Are you talking about awareness? Why do you use the word mind here? Why don't you ever use words like soul or spirit?" "What is there to be aware of other than mind? So mind aware of itself is awareness. And when mind is aware of itself, it realizes that not only is it not personal, it doesn't even exist; its an illusion. Prior to "I" there was nothing. The "I" comes second, out of the nameless... Continue reading
Posted Sep 21, 2017 at IMPERFECT Lady
"Every no I say is a yes to myself. It feels right to me. People don't have to guess what I want or don't want, and I don't need to pretend. When you're honest about our yeses and noes, it's easy to live a kind life. People come and go in my life when I tell the truth, and they would come and go if I didn't tell the truth. I have nothing to gain one way, and everything to gain the other way. I don't leave myself guessing or guilty." "If a man wants to have sex with me,... Continue reading
Posted Sep 20, 2017 at IMPERFECT Lady
"Curiosity and Complaining are two fundamentally different postures." "The problem with complaining, is complaining is energy spent, that you could have spent asking questions. The problem with blaming other people and blaming them two months later, and two years later, is that Blaming takes energy. Blaming takes energy and its energy that you could spend asking questions. What did I Learn? What will I do differently. How will I recognize it the next time it comes around? Needy, draining people, rarely have questions. Because if you have questions and you're curious, then you have entered into the accumulation of wisdom,... Continue reading
Posted Sep 19, 2017 at IMPERFECT Lady
I heard a common phrase for the first time. "Empty words". What struck me was how true the phrase was. Words are not always full. Of meaning, truth and actions. Sometimes they are just letters arranged a certain way. Words without meaning, are meaningless. Empty. I used to be a person that didn't look deeply or stare intently at anything. Contents didn't matter. Surface did. I used to even live a surface life. What mattered most, was what people saw. The outward appearances defined me. The facade of life. I was an empty word. Inside the word woman was a... Continue reading
Posted Sep 11, 2017 at IMPERFECT Lady
I woke up to a faint blush in the sky and decided to go out and be with the sunrise. It was so peaceful, quiet, and beautiful. Only a few dog walkers and I were witness to this display. Each time I turned, another artful view I captured. And, our day continued with more to see, experience and enjoy. As we were on the Ferry, heading to Madeline Island, my husband said, "It is hard to believe that part of the world is having a hurricane, while we have this. I agreed and told him I had thought the very... Continue reading
Posted Sep 9, 2017 at IMPERFECT Lady
Life is broken down into our perception and reality. One doesn't depend upon the other. Yet, our lives are dictated by our perceptions much more than they are by reality. More often, we can disregard reality and live a life a few feet from what is. I am wondering if stress and anxiety arise much more from our perceptions than from what is actually going on. That in our minds we create a whole world that doesn't exist. I have been almost void of anxiety and stress since I left my mind. And, when my body feels anxious and stressful,... Continue reading
Posted Sep 5, 2017 at IMPERFECT Lady
How do we listen? And, what changes within us as we hear words? Is there a change? Does it depend upon the subject OR how open we are to hear? Can you change someone's opinion or beliefs by what you say? In my experience of exchanging words with folks from my old church, is not so much what they can hear; but what I say and then my expectations. I think, I thought, that depending upon what I said, it would sway them. I am wrong. Completely. I have changed; but not by the outside, but rather my inside. "Something"... Continue reading
Posted Aug 21, 2017 at IMPERFECT Lady
When a breech in a relationship happens, we are often left with wondering what happened. In one long time relationship I had, we lost the same perception. In thinking about this, I had to look up the definition of perception. "the ability to see, hear, or become aware of something through the senses." and, "the state of being or process of becoming aware of something through the senses." What I didn't know about perception that it used our bodies/senses. There is also this "a way of regarding, understanding, or interpreting something; a mental impression." Perception is a very personal thing,... Continue reading
Posted Aug 15, 2017 at IMPERFECT Lady