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I M Perfect
on the Sturgeon River
A Lady living her truth and sharing her experience.
Interests: Art Quilts, Art, Writing, Spirituality, Reading,
Recent Activity
It was a gorgeous sight that greeted us at the Houghton Breakwaters - the starting point of my latest challenge. The Breakers to the Bridge - Paddle Festival 2018. Julia's photo Here are the three of us at the starting line! We all travel over the same water and faced the same wind, but we were all in different boats or canoes, and we came with different body size, age and strength. The sleekest boats being paddled by hardcore paddlers, disappeared around the bend and that was the last we saw of them until the finish line. The sweep time... Continue reading
Posted Sep 9, 2018 at IMPERFECT Lady
Going with the flow was an experience, not just words as we paddle on the Sturgeon River yesterday. We decide to paddle up the river, trying to make it up to the dam near Otter Lake. But, I hadn't understood what it means to go against the current, until you are in a kayak paddling upstream.It means you have to paddle very hard to get anywhere, and if you stop, you lose the ground you just covered. Or, you have to go on shore, and get out of the flow of the current. We did this a few times, just... Continue reading
Posted Sep 4, 2018 at IMPERFECT Lady
"Churches are just buildings and organizations full of flawed people." comment on Facebook. That comment is the typical conclusion of a discussion when sexual abuse comes up in a religious organization. They toss aside the beliefs and water it down to a building and flawed folks. No religion here. No belief here to discuss or debate. The folks are flawed, and are no reflection of this religion. Where did God and Jesus go? How is it possible that a religion can just be a building and a bunch of flawed people? Is this a way to deflect the direct attack... Continue reading
Posted Sep 2, 2018 at IMPERFECT Lady
Thank you, for responding, both in words and actions. It isn't my intent to slam the catholic church, it wasn't me who has damaged it, more, I am not eager to slam the faithful followers. What my intent is, is to at the very least begin questioning, and bring awareness to your faith. Thank you Judy for being aware and brave to look.
Toggle Commented Sep 1, 2018 on Unsafe for children to attend! at IMPERFECT Lady
If we were to be completely honest and truthful, when sexual abuse scandal happens, are we not more shocked at where it happened, than to whom it happened to? Are we not more blown back by the place and circle, than to the victim themselves? I see it as being two wounds. One to the victim and child, whose life will be forever changed. Whose love and trust and innocence is destroyed. The vastness of effects from being abused will follow them into each and every relationship they enter. The composite of who they were born to be has been... Continue reading
Posted Sep 1, 2018 at IMPERFECT Lady
That is a whole other topic, but yet it does make you consider how you stand in the place you stand? How you can have the free will to do what you want and to worship what you believe in, and to do with your body as you see fit. Then, how to allow all people the same luxury. When you enjoy personal freedom to be the person you are with your morals and values, how can you then want to regulate another's choices? Or, even more, whose choices would you want to be forced to participate in? When we try and have power over another's choice, we have to consider being the one controlled? I never realized the privilege I have lived and how my privilege has been gotten on the backs of those less fortunate. Until we walk in another's shoes, can we really know what we would do? There are many situations that I am uneducated in, or lack the experience of. Sitting from where I sit, I am very naive on so many levels. My strongest life's energy, is to give empowerment to women. I lived having my body controlled by the church. Its morals and values had a stronger voice than my own personal one. Again, it is back to equal power and self empowerment for all. Mostly those of us, who have been less than the power leaders - most often the white male. We need to go for tea and have a good chat! Or, a bike ride!
Effective dialogues will make us question what we believe, how we act and even more, to see the world from a new perspective. Yes, it is thought provoking to wonder what you would do for your child, compared to any child. What I know, is that my mother's faith was not to be questioned, nor did 'anything' or person come before it. I understand how you hold it dear. And, it is not my intention to take anything from you, just to question the leadership of your organization and the way it has become an unsafe place for children.
Thanks for responding. I do hear you. I have written many responses....and all keep circling back to our differences. What I hear what the church means to you. I don't know what I can say, that will have you seeing first the destruction of the lives of the children, before your faith. Can you see how the faith is first, your salvation first, or most precious. Can you see how this sentiment, will be what the abusers rely upon. You won't leave. Thousands are like you. You will stay, for your salvation. Regardless of how many children's lives are ruined. How can you show a child, that they mean more? In other religions, when there was abuse among its members, they too, were unwilling to give up their faith. Regardless of the little children. In fact, many quit talking to me, when it appeared that there may be a choice, where they had to chose their faith or the safety of children. Their own children or grandchildren. I seriously can't seem to get the members inside of the religions, to fully understand, the impact of them continuing on as if nothing happened. And, they all say, it is for their salvation. It is for a heaven one day. They too speak of Jesus, and God. And, meanwhile children are at risk. How can the problem be fixed at the same level it was created at. It is insanity to believe, you can change the religion by not changing it. I know, some said, there are new rules. Really, the folks doing the abusing are not going to adhere to rules. I am not sure the average church member has even begun to investigate the intricacies of child sexual abuse. Who does it, why and how it affects the lives of the child etc. They are very good with their religion and know little or nothing about the ways their religion has used itself to abuse children. Will the faithful members become students in learning about pedophiles, abuse and children at risk? I would love to see the members asking the tough questions instead of focusing on the contents of salvation. Perhaps this goes against your religion to hold it second. I get it. And, so does the child who has been abused. They can see and feel that they matter less. I don't know how to say it differently or see it differently too. What you may have forgotten to remember, is that one time I too was a member of a church, who I felt was my salvation and it knew about abuse, and my father, and it (members) blessed him in the name of their religion. It was their way to heaven. They believed God and Jesus were in there too. How can the children of all these religions become more than the religion? How can their innocence matter more? I am as frustrated as you are faithful.
I have listened to a few priests, and catholic leaders speak about the sexual abuse within the church. Mostly, what I find is that they are dancing with words and shining lights in all directions and somehow dodging the full impact of the crime. I get it. Certainly they don't want to completely and utterly bring into their lives the complete package of sexual abuse by the elders of the church. It could, or would, destroy the integrity and piety of their church. They want to acknowledge it, but not fully embrace it. To see it, sorta and then get... Continue reading
Posted Aug 30, 2018 at IMPERFECT Lady
I have heard this twice now on two separate podcasts, "You can't be yourself, until you really know who you are." Knowing who you are not, is helpful, but until you know who you truly are, you simply can't be yourself. You can be the self, you were raised to be. Or, the survival self. A part of a whole that you were born into. It took my life falling apart to understand, I had no clue who I was. I didn't know the world or the meanings behind many things - let alone who I was. The best thing... Continue reading
Posted Aug 22, 2018 at IMPERFECT Lady
Yes it is amazing, how we don't even know we have been caught in our own minds! Not until we one day feel trapped and then realize we are the ones holding the key!
Toggle Commented Aug 22, 2018 on Expectations of the Artist. at IMPERFECT Lady
I have thought the same thing, to put various women on one quilt. The theme, "Rock your difference" I loved learning about this box I was putting myself in - in going forward and not being able to just do! Group meetings are helpful, instead of staying in your own mind. Beth
Toggle Commented Aug 22, 2018 on Expectations of the Artist. at IMPERFECT Lady
When I arrived at my latest Quilt Meeting, I brought my most recent work of art and across the table from where I was sitting, on a shelf, was my book. (We meet in the Library in town.) Looking at my earliest Ladies compared to my last, there is a striking difference; a body has emerged. I love my first ladies, even if they were mostly clothes. The discussion was interesting, when a women spoke of a theater production she had attended, of a war. On stage there was one side of actual people and the other side was just... Continue reading
Posted Aug 21, 2018 at IMPERFECT Lady
I agree, that the people make up the church; without people no church. Many will not want the whole religion to be blamed; but there is a responsibility by all. Those doing the bad behavior, those knowing and doing nothing and those who go along. And, any spiritual leader who knows of this behavior and doesn't do the right thing of reporting the criminal, is not a spiritual leader. I again, know that this is painful when it is the religion you were raised in.
Lois, you can pray and worship outside of the organization that is co-mingling knowingly with pedophiles. When you bring up other organizations, it is to water down the report to make it less. To make it less shocking or horrifying or perhaps normal. It is everywhere. I have heard this before and will continue to hear it. Does it make it right? Are there schools and sports where you know for sure there are abusers and you would still send your son? Are the numbers as high and the reports so vast? Mostly, suggesting it is everywhere, makes it easier to do nothing, for it appears you can't escape it. What if, you and those like you withdrew from the church. Not from God, but for the organization UNTIL they cleaned house? Can you separate your faith from the organization? I am thinking, if your son's hockey program was known for abuse, it would be pretty hard to be a solid fan. Just my thoughts. And, my heart goes out to you. I know what it is like to discover sexual abuse with the confines of a religion.
I thought of you as this news appeared. And, I thought that there are many like you. Who have worshiped in the church with a kind and truthful heart. My heart goes out to you all. Yet what do we do with the good and the bad of the church. Who but the good can stop the bad??? I do not believe that God only lives in church or that it is the only place to play. I also understand how it feels to have your trust in a religion collapse. For me, it took out the middle man and left we finding peace with a God that wasn't within a religion. Like Nature and love and kindness.
"The only necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." Edmund Burke I wrote a scathing post and just "saved" it. Perhaps it is my trauma reacting to the Catholic church, the years, those who knew and did nothing, the sheer numbers of pedophiles, the small sampling, and the thousands of children who have suffered, but it is hard to write in a calm manner. Before I know it my hands are flying my mind is seething, my emotions are high, the outrage, the helplessness, the faithful remaining faithful, the children speaking, no one listening,... Continue reading
Posted Aug 17, 2018 at IMPERFECT Lady
I heard a question being asked on a podcast - "When does your body feel the most beautiful?" Which was answered by Mirna Valerio with, "When I am running, I feel powerful and that makes me feel beautiful." I love this new way of feeling beautiful. When does your body feel the most beautiful is so different than when does it look the most beautiful. The feelings of empowerment, confidence and peace. My body feels the most beautiful when I can just be Me. It does feel beautiful paddling along in a kayak, or pedaling a bike, or hiking in... Continue reading
Posted Aug 10, 2018 at IMPERFECT Lady
"After doing what is right, life is still complicated" Ghosted, by Rosie Walsh It seems my life is littered with a thousand of "right" choices, all of which put me on the path to an even more complicated life. The more choices that I made that were dissimilar to others, the more complicated it can get. Each new boundary sets me aside. I become even more different, weird, unique and an anomaly. Perhaps not so much in the world, but within the group you were raised in. And, among some of your peers. What is "doing what is right"? How... Continue reading
Posted Aug 5, 2018 at IMPERFECT Lady
The clearness of the Lake Superior; offers no surprises. We can see clear through, and know its bottom and the lack of weeds. We know what lays beneath - for we can see it. This clarity gives us confidence; not in ourselves so much, but in the outside. We can rely on its purity and lack of surprises. On this Lake, you do have to watch for changing conditions, for it can quickly go from flat to choppy. But, even when you capsize, you will be in clear water. The 'danger' seems less ominous. When kayaking on smaller inland lakes,... Continue reading
Posted Aug 3, 2018 at IMPERFECT Lady
I used to fear the same. And, worry about things that never happened. What I found out, that I was focused on the wrong things. And, not scrutinizing the relationships closest to me, and even my own body. Once I did lots of soul searching, and becoming more truthful with myself, the fear left. I think the fear we are feeling is from in our everyday worlds, and not some mystical future bad event. I am so at peace inside my body and head and outer world.
Toggle Commented Jul 27, 2018 on Happening Right Now at IMPERFECT Lady
Life happens in micro seconds, it is constantly flowing and becoming - as they say, "the only thing constant is change". When I experienced an out of control vehicle tumbling down the road towards us, I was watching reality unfold. In micro seconds, flip, flip flip, would we be caught up with this rolling vehicle? How would this end? I could feel how out of control we really are in life. How it changes in seconds. And, how it doesn't stop to ask our permission. Instead it comes speeding towards you. Often change is like this, a fast rolling car... Continue reading
Posted Jul 25, 2018 at IMPERFECT Lady
I finished "Educated" by Tara Westover. What an interesting read about being raised by parents whose view on the world changes yours; and then how to see life differently when leaving the family. She takes us on the journey of seeing how she was raised and how it impacted her view on the world. How she believed the lies her father told her as the truth. How completely it bled into her DNA. How hard it is to wrestle free of the conditioning of our parents. And, the cost you will pay when you change your mind. The insanity that... Continue reading
Posted Jul 19, 2018 at IMPERFECT Lady
Learning how to manage life, often means juggling between reality and our preconceived idea of how our day will go. The best laid plans often get put aside in order for life to move forward. Perhaps it is best to lead from this moment in time, and do the next thing that pops up. I am getting better with life's sudden turns. From an open night of bike riding, to instead running errands so my husband can fix my breaks. The breaks began grinding on my route. They can't wait. But the bike ride can. Sometimes I plan a yoga... Continue reading
Posted Jul 18, 2018 at IMPERFECT Lady
I am listening to a Memoir "Educated" by Tara Westover. In it she mentioned the side of the oppressor, when someone is looking for equality. Now, as unreal as this may seem, the way she said it had me looking more at the oppressors than at those seeking equality. The oppressors ARE the ones who have reduced the equality in the lives of those seeking it. Whether it be disabilities, color, gender, sexual orientation, the oppressors ARE the ones who are withholding equality. This changes the way I see the world. And, who most often are the oppressors? The majority.... Continue reading
Posted Jul 17, 2018 at IMPERFECT Lady