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I respect Jens H comments BUT, Yes I am a Believer and in the Bible it does say it IS a sin. My husband professed to be a born again Christian yet we are divorcing because I found out about his proclivities. I am hurt and angry. In our church there is a clear doctrine on homosexuality, coming from the Bible. It is just not right within the boundaries of scripture and to profess belief in front of God and take Communion, to me it is a sin that he will deal with. He lied to me and the church for ten years, forgiveness comes, but it will take a very long time in my heart even though I know I am supposed to forgive to all because I am forgiven. I am aware of the scripture. Still, To lie to me and our church, only God can forgive. Oh yeah, Jerry, I am a "Holier than thou Right wing, conservative, moral majority, focus on the family person". So please, don't attack, I admit what I believe in, and that is God's Word. It is my belief and I stand behind it. It is still a sin. And it hurts those who have had to deal with this deception. I find what you said offensive to those that do believe in the one true God. There are are more of us out there than you know. Please be careful in your wording, there are "actual" Christians out there who read this.
I just found out this month, threw 3 people, we had already seperated but I could not understand why, we are both devout Christians, I am a born again, he was there to be with me that day. Within 1 month, this last month, I was told, Oh, didn't you know? Looking back I see stuff now that should have. Even intimate stuff, he was very strange to my standards but I put up with it. After 10 years of marriage and two darling children, 9 and 4, I found out he had affairs with men and propositioned his friend, which is why their their 15 year friendship ended. He told me it was because of such and such but really it was because he propositioned a straight man. He told me of homosexual activity before the marriage, but I thought it was just a "searching" period in his life. I look back and think "Duh". There were so many things I should have noticed, which I did, but refused to acknowledge. I am hurt and angry. His sister is a Lesbian that has not come out yet formally as well. I have been through so much it just hurts. It hurts to the core. I've prayed and begged and done what have you, he's gay. He admits some of it, but I've heard so much from others that I doubt what he denies is true anymore. So we are in divorce precedings and I feel like an idiot. After all these years, 10 years, I finally find out. As a Christian please forgive, but I myself, believe it is a sin. So not only did he lie to me bu also to our church and God in front of me. If I sound bitter, I guess I am in that phase, but I just can't believe it. I spoke to my Father at the church and was greatly comforted. I was afraid to go back, thinking this was my fault, I was also afraid everyone would ask what happened and how would I explain it? I know we are supposed to forgive 7 times 70 but at this time it feels hard to do. My best friends father did this to her mom after she turned 18 as well. So I've seen the wreckage, I was her office manager for years. Her mother went through such a bad time she could not even get out of bed for days, we had to run the company ourselves. I just feel so dumb, I've seen it before, and it was obvious, and I just looked the other way in my life hoping that our faith would not let it be true. So I guess I am in anger and grief right now, I don't know how to explain this to our children, and me and my older daughter are extremely close, I raised her alone, he was gone 14 to 15 hours a day on weekdays and 6 to 7 hour on weekends, doing whatever. She's 9. I don't understand how this can happen. I guess I am venting but I am so sad. I lost a man I loved because actually he was gay. I can't wrap my head around it. Daffodil
Toggle Commented Apr 18, 2009 on STAGES OF RECOVERY at Straight Spouse Connection