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Guido Master
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We all know that good things come to an end eventually, but what about for Guidos? I mean, let's face it, they've been around since the early 80s rocking their 1985 Chevrolet IROC-Z (we all know the acronym thanks to Chris Farley in Saturday Night Live), gold chains, greased back hair, and white tank tops. And sure they have evolved since then to greasy spikey hair and Toyota Corollas with fake rims, but is there really a future for Guidos? Can fists pump forever? Some may claim that as long as there are gyms, steroids, and girls to holler at... Continue reading
Posted Dec 7, 2011 at
We know (maybe you weren't informed yet) that Guidos love their theme parties, so what does that mean for this weekend? Well, forget the Italian flag colors and throw on some red, white, and blue Salvatore! And like always, the latest and greatest Guido music ♫ for your listening pleasure... Massari- Let you go Continue reading
Posted Jul 3, 2011 at
There are very few times when we have to complain about Guidos, but it happens. We are so proud to be your first source when it comes to the latest and greatest news about Guidos, but it is unfortunate when Guidos start to encroach on other cultures that don't belong to them. It's even worse when they try to take credit. People across the world know that surfing and the surfing culture began in Hawaii and exploded in Southern California in the mid-1900s, which came with style and terminology including words like "bro, sick, epic, dope, chill, etc.". How did... Continue reading
Posted Jun 22, 2011 at
We are so proud to say that the Guido community has imposed itself on so many more races outside the so-called "Italian" community in the U.S. By the way, if you've ever been to Italy you would know that (A) 'Guido' is not by any means derogatory, but rather a proper male name and (B) Italians look nothing like the Guidos we have in America. Good work gorilla juice head juice boxes! Not sure what this guy is, but he's starting a new breed of something. And like always, the latest and greatest Guido music ♫ for your listening pleasure...... Continue reading
Posted Mar 28, 2011 at
This Guido hasn't come out of the closet yet. At least the Guido closet. Maybe he's trying to sort his laundry. Continue reading
Posted Mar 22, 2011 at
I know it's been a while since we first introduced to the world, but we thought, why not go back to our roots so we can remind everyone what we're talking about here when we say Guido... (Sorry to you youngsters who aren't allowed to use Wikipedia as a source, but we can) Of course when we say 'Guido' it is a term or endearment. (Right?) Guido Fashion? You know you're a Guido when... And like always, the latest and greatest Guido music for your listening pleasure... Deadmau5- HR 8938 The DNC- Let's get it in Nirvana- Come... Continue reading
Posted Mar 15, 2011 at
Everyone always thinks they're so clever when they respond to someone that says "I can't believe that clothing style is in, that was popular when I was a kid in the 70s" by saying "Clothing and fashion styles are cyclical." Yes, no sh*t Sherlock! Do you know why it's cyclical? It's not a coincidence that fashion is cyclical, it's because there are only a FINITE (aka limited number) amount of colors and style to choose from after 200,000 years that humans have existed. Yes, that even means that the dumbest and douchiest styles are repeated by the same type of... Continue reading
Posted Dec 21, 2010 at
Sure, this is not the first time that anyone's seen or heard about people wearing sunglasses out at night, but Seaside Heights, Belmar, and most of the Jersey Shore for that matter breeds fist-pumping, testosterone/steroid driven Guidos that fathom the most ridiculous club attire in hopes that they will impress someone. Unfortunately that someone isn't me, and even more unfortunate is the fact that some poor little Guidette is actually attracted to this behavior and will go home with them. (No Comment Needed) And as promised...the latest and greatest Guido music for your listening pleasure. Calvin Harris- You Used to... Continue reading
Posted Sep 12, 2010 at
"What is a Guido?" "What do you mean, what is a Guido?" "What does the word Guido mean?" "It's a name. Like Michael." This is the conversation I had with an Italian while traveling to Italy. Based on multiple interviews while in Italy myself and multiple sources to back it up, the word 'Guido' is an actual proper name. It now makes sense why I always see restaurants named "Guidos Pizza/Meatballs/Restaurant/etc.". Imagine if your name was actually "Guido". (Notice the Guido in the black shirt below. Guido fashion - ista) And as promised...the latest and greatest Guido music for... Continue reading
Posted Aug 31, 2010 at
There is a small chance I am wrong about this, but Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino is soon to become the world's richest Guido that got rich because of being a Guido. Reportedly expected to earn $5,000,000 by the end of this year. I give anyone props that can make that kind of money for acting and looking so ridiculous. Read the Full Story Here And as promised...the latest and greatest Guido music for your listening pleasure. Lil Wayne- Stuntin' ElSandro-Style Fusion Continue reading
Posted Aug 27, 2010 at
Since so much of the Guido culture consists of head pounding techno, house music, and fist pumping, we thought what better than to start having the latest and greatest Guido music for your listening pleasure attached to all our stories? Take a sneak peak and send us some feedback... Bynar feat. Tiesto- Broken by Angels Swedish House Mafia- Miami 2 Ibiza Enrique Iglesias- I Like It (Chuckie Remix) Continue reading
Posted Aug 25, 2010 at
Sure, everyone loves theme parties once in a while, but Guidos in particular are absolutely obsessed with theme parties. What is the theory behind this madness that makes Guidos and Guidiettes alike want to dress up like ridiculous clowns and Santas in the middle of Summer every single week? Our opinion is that it's a great excuse to coverup ugly faces and not have to worry about Coyote Ugly in the morning since you roll over and see Mario or Luigo. Compliment of Djais bar in Belmar, New Jersey... Italian Night... (As if that's not redundant at a Guido bar)... Continue reading
Posted Aug 11, 2010 at
For those of you readers that live in the U.S., believe it or not, but there are Guido lovers all around the world. If you haven't noticed yet, check out our new visitor tracker globe on the left that shows the locations of visitors currently on the site. Coming soon...Russian Guidos in their element. Continue reading
Posted Jul 26, 2010 at
Why the heck would anyone WANT to be associated with the term Guido when Urban Dictionary clearly states a Guido's consists of a guy that wears tight zipper shirts, tracksuits, designer jeans, fuzzy kangol hats, tiny hoop earrings, fake gold chains, and related Euro-trash garb and tacky cheese-wear? I wondered this question for a while, but finally two reasons came to light- Peacocking and Retardation. Sorry to offend anyone, but most of the Guidos that act ridiculous and wear stupid clothes to stand out are not even close being smart. Granted, like with anything, there are exceptions to the rules,... Continue reading
Posted Jul 12, 2010 at
This Swedish/Iranian Guido was spotted in Hollywood! Who would have thought these even existed? Continue reading
Posted May 23, 2010 at
The short answer is NO. If you're a regular reader this is obvious based on the numerous articles on Guido subtypes. But for the newbies, being a Guido is a lifestyle, not a particular race or class of race. Some of the more obvious and fast growing ones are Middle Eastern Guidos, Cuban Guidos, and Russian Guidos, to name a few. With their hair slicked back or spiked, gold chains, electro/techno/house music bumping in their ears, fake tans, and wild accents, Guidos live everywhere. They might even be your next door neighbor. But don't be alarmed, some are just as... Continue reading
Posted May 15, 2010 at
What a nice weekend it was on the East Coast recently. All the home bodies made it outside finally to show off their pasty selves. Non-Guidos that is; because we all know Guidos are never pasty. Even after a long, cold Winter with no sunshine, they are miraculously a golden orange. Not only did the sun bring out Guidos and non-Guidos (mostly Non-Guidos) to Central Park for sunbathers to get their natural tan on. But the Guidos must have forgotten that the sun actually goes down at night and clubs are not bright inside... (Spotted at Pacha nightclub) Surprising? No... Continue reading
Posted May 4, 2010 at
For all of our lay readers: Cognitive dissonance is an uncomfortable feeling caused by holding two contradictory ideas simultaneously. (Wikipedia). For example, you may hate American cars, but one day you borrow your friend's Cadillac Escalade and fall in love with it, however, your mind is uncomfortably confused. So, what kind of cognitive dissonance are women and men feeling about The Situation? Some have always hated Guidos, yet they suddenly are obsessed with this creature. For all those girls out there obsessed with the Situation, we truly feel sorry for you. Surely we understand the psychology behind the situation (your... Continue reading
Posted Apr 13, 2010 at
We don't feel like we need to hide or be ashamed of talking about Middle Eastern Guidos now that MTV admits to their existence. Not to say that MTV is any special determinant of what is right or wrong, but they do acknowledge the existence of Persian Guidos. Reported fro "As previously reported on, Doron Ofir Casting is looking for new guidos and guidettes to potentially star in future incarnations of the series, with filming to possibly begin this summer for a fall show. The casting company is also on the lookout for would-be stars of another reality... Continue reading
Posted Apr 9, 2010 at
So what? Being Middle Eastern has a bad rap these days as most people know due to countless years of Middle Eastern terrorism. The stereotypes are obvious: Big noses, long beards, and head wraps. Middle Easterners especially feel this the hardest after 9/11. What about Guidos? This website is dedicated to informing you on Guidos and if you're a regular reader you should know what a Guido looks like. For the newbies, Guidos have at least some if not all of the following: orange skin from fake tanning, spikey hair, the Daddy Yankee tapper cut, waxed eye brows, gold chains,... Continue reading
Posted Apr 1, 2010 at
We have been getting a lot of responses from readers on the Arabic Guidos. Mostly negativity from the Middle-Eastern community and we just wanted to say that we our intentions are not to discriminate or hate on any one race or races in any fashion, but rather to stereotype Guidos by COMMON groups (i.e., Italians). We are not saying ALL Italians/Cubans/Arabs/etc. are Guidos, but that Guidos exist in so many different forms. Believe me, we are not the only ones discussing this... <-Arab Guido? No way. Maybe if he blewout that beard and wore some gold chains. Maybe... Continue reading
Posted Mar 31, 2010 at
While the topic of ethnic variations of Guidos has been discussed previously, we thought we might back it up with raw footage sent in from 2 of our regular readers. While at a club in a predominately Arabic community, an endless supply of Guidos flocked the arena for the picking. No need to say more. See for yourself... #1 The Chin Strap, #2 The Blowout, and #3 The Gold Chain wearing Alien Continue reading
Posted Mar 22, 2010 at
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Mar 16, 2010
Have you ever taken the time to notice or appreciate Guidos? Have you ever realized the good that they provide? I'm not going to lie, it's hard to do after having so much resentment and disgust for them for so long. But what about all those times guys when you walk into a club full of Guidos fist pumping and the girls there aren't into Guidos? Guidos serve threebenefits in this situation: 1. They take up space for other competitors and 2. They detract other competitors from coming and 3. They make you look like a Price. This makes talking... Continue reading
Posted Mar 15, 2010 at
I will erase this entire post and apologize if you can name one intelligent AND famous Guido. Have you ever seen a Guido in corporate America? What about in Congress? I haven't. Why are all the Guidos I meet so dumb? I mean, I haven't had one intellectual conversation with a Guido. Sure, I have had somewhat serious conversations with quasi-Guidos, that is typical Jersey/Staten Island/Long Island/Brooklyn typical meatheads, but full on Guidos. I don't think so. So why is this? Which came first: the Chicken or the Egg? Do Guidos start off as dumb people and turn into Guidos... Continue reading
Posted Mar 1, 2010 at