the hardest step is always the first. but filipinas are too scared of being alone, always using the excuse of children in keeping an otherwise hopeless marriage intact. I separated with my first husband due to his addictions which I had lived with for 17 years and being up 4 children (including my brother's 2mo. old son). he died a couple of years later (2000) from complications of liver cirhossis. I know other women would think I should have roughed it out with him and think me selfish but I gave the best of my life in rearing my children and trying to make a home with him. in 2008 I got married to an american and thought it would be like what I had always wanted things to be in a marriage...one that would last forever. what I didn't take into account was the cultural differences as well as this later period in my life with all the 'baggage' I've carried along with me. (I'm now in my 50's and most filipina women would be serenely retired and taking care of their apos). but again I had to say goodbye. if my first (filipino) husband was an addict to drugs and gambling, my second husband (american) is legally addicted to drugs for PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder). yes psychosis has benefits in the states. their gov't treats them with kid gloves. here in the philippines we just shrug it off and say..."almusal lang yan". I'm lucky I survived this marriage although I am not sure if I ought to see a shrink cos it was a terrifying episode in my life. a friend's american bf talked to me about being co-dependent. he said I needed this kind of addiction (to someone who had an addiction) because if fulfilled a need in me. the problem is we don't have support groups that deal with this type of problems cos we have more immediate needs to take care of. like how to survive the daily grind! anyway I just wanted to say to all the young courageous women who want to say goodbye, don't let what society thinks of you influence what you think is right. in the end you are only accountable to yourself and we only have one life to live. so live it and be kind to yourself! mabuhay!

watching Jo Koy's videos at comedy central...thanks for sharing! LMAO

tip: you can now buy sweet & sour sauce in a bottle (Maggi) or in a powder pack which you dilute with water. the veggies need to be fresh though.

sorry about the typos...LOL that's fried fish (fish can be friendly too!)...also you add the soy sauce when the oil is heated enough to create a sizzling yummy platter of lapulapu! ;)

sorry but your escabeche sauce looks too dry. LOL the first time I set foot in a store where they friend your fish for you I was amazed. cos we don't have that here in the phils. I thought the 'fishmonger' LOL was kidding when I told him he might as well fry it too as I was making a joke. anyway I learned later that to avail of better tasting cooked fish from the store you need to bet there early of you end up with your fish tasting funny from all the other kinds of fish that have been previously cooked in it. have you tried steamed lapu-lapu with heated oil and then soy sauce poured over it??? da best! garnish with thinly cut onion leeks on top and some browned garlic if you're into that too.

actually here in Ilocos you just see the longganisa hanging on stalls. they sell for P120 for about 10 pieces. easy as pie. and the next best secret that makes longga so tasty is the side dish of crushed (not sliced) local tomatoes (those small fat orangey red kind you can find only here in Ilocos) with salt, a splash of water and a little oil. LOL funny but that's how we always ate it here. ;)

And if you start to feel chest pains from all the fat you've been shoveling into your maw, just relax, have a beer, and eat another Longanisa--you only live once. LMAO!!!

ps that's FILIPINO. and btw the preparation and cooking of lumpia is a festive thing. we don't usually cook it unless there's a party of birthday that's why it's an enjoyable affair to be shared in the setting of warm and loving camaraderie. ;)

actually your mom quit nagging the minute you decided you wre interested in something filipino. we are very proud of our heritage and customs handed down to us and I can understand that instead of dropping nasty remarks she ended up loving you for wanting to share being a filino! mabuhay! ;)