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Louise
New York
Recent Activity
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Recap time! Just for context, I've only been watching this show for just over a week so I have no idea what I'm talking about. I've been getting some background info from some very helpful folks on Twitter whenever I'm watching (come play! @SerialDrama) but otherwise my entire frame of reference is just my very occasional visits over the years and general awareness from soap magazines and the like. Here we go! Will is hanging out alone and having flashbacks to Sonny and Sami trying to explain who he is. This involves grimacing. Sami spent the night in jail and is very grumpy about it. It's because she punched Susan, which was awesome. The attending cop finds her whole story pretty hilarious. Marlena shows up. Paul is sitting at the bar where Will works, which has literally never had a customer but apparently has no problem with people in emotional crisis hanging out there and never ordering a damn drink. He leaves a voicemail for Will. Paul is sad, and John shows up to hug him. Will asks Susan if she's really his mother. Marlena is delighted to learn that Sami punched Susan. Sami mentions that Paul knew Will was... Continue reading
Posted 5 days ago at Serial Drama
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RECAP! After all these years, I didn't really realize Pozzulo's was a restaurant that's literally "never open." Sonny is really bad at fronts. (And I don't think it's entirely consistent because I just had a weird flashback to the original Lisa Niles getting chem-tested with Sonny in there.) Anyway! Carly is toasting to schadenfreude, or her son's broken heart, whichever you want to call it. Ava is showing Kiki the "formula" for the surgery that will "heal" her two-square-inch-mild-discoloration. I don't hate Ava's new strawberry-blonde, but with the electric-blue top she's wearing it's not working. Makes her skin look super pink. (I think Maura West is one of the world's most perfect humans, though.) David (I finally learned that his name isn't Dr. Max Holden!) talks to Griffin about real estate investments, which... is riveting! Apparently Monica and Alexis are in some sort of combined NA/AA meeting together? (It's not new for this show to conflate addictions, but seriously Port Charles has more than enough addicts that they don't have to combine all twelve-steppers.) Anyway, Monica's a little freaked out because a Jason-faced-person burst through a skylight! Jason goes to the Quartermaine mausoleum as OG Jason goes to Sam. OG... Continue reading
Posted Nov 11, 2017 at Serial Drama
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I'll be brief because it really speaks for itself. But let's just take a moment to luxuriate in the totally-not-at-all-suggestive blocking from yesterday's Bold and the Beautiful in a long talky scene between Bill, his daughter-in-law Steffy, and whatever is going on with her wig. We get it! He's ready for his BJ! (I mean seriously, folks, he got even closer and then they spent the whole scene talking like that.) Speaking of talking, the best highlights of recent dialogue were Steffy taking a hard stance on why Liam shouldn't be nice to Sally: because she's a "criminal!" He should, however, be nice to his father. His father who, while not (say) a mobster, is basically a career criminal. Especially recently. I believe Liam's also supposed to be nice to Steffy's family, many of whom have a pretty serious rap sheet if such records ever stuck. Another highlight of dialogue was Bill telling Steffy how utterly remarkable she is because she's able to see things from "all sides" which is code for "thanks for always being on my side, Steffy, no matter how wrong I am!" Particularly considering Steffy has made zero effort at any point to see why Liam... Continue reading
Posted Nov 10, 2017 at Serial Drama
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First of all, sorry to tease with a flurry of consistent posts and then a couple straight weeks of radio silence. I was traveling and then consumed with baseball and then a little under the weather. But no matter! Because here we are. Welp. We knew this weepy lovefest reunion was going to happen, and man, the actors did not hold back. I'd make a joke about their whole One True Love dynamic, but lord knows if they actually loved each other "like that" they would get zero screentime (case in point: besides the previously-complained about off-stage adoption proceedings of Lucas and Brad, today we were reminded that Parker and Kristina went on one whole date and then U-hauled right off the show together, lest anyone think that more LGBTQ folks behind the scenes changes anything about what happens onscreen). Where was I? Oh! Right. The beautiful reunion, which involved a whole lot of "The following people have come back to life since you 'died,' would you like a drink?" and a little "Okay so then who is this guy we already cried tears of joy to have back in our lives?" but very, very little urgency. And this made... Continue reading
Posted Oct 26, 2017 at Serial Drama
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I was going to write a straight recap of today's General Hospital but then they threw some Ask Man Landers shitshow at me in the cold open, so I can't be asked. But there are some important things to touch on. In this episode, we had a new "couple" (I guess Kristina and Parker are already official from the way they were talking today, which was fast) making out in a diner. We had randos just knocking on an apartment door in an building that should really have some security. We had characters in contrived situations so they could run into each other for the sole purpose of almost-but-not advancing plot. What I'm saying is, we need a new set that more easily allows for such things. A building with a central location that is semi-private, where kissing isn't peculiar but a meal or a conversation might be shared in passing with neighbors. A building where people who are deeply connected live alongside people they may not know or choose to see deliberately. Which brings me to the titular plea: BRING BACK THE BROWNSTONE! A lot of people could squeeze into that common room, you know. Very handy. It was... Continue reading
Posted Oct 10, 2017 at Serial Drama
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Does anyone else find Sam and Jason's bedroom kind of hilarious? I mean, he's Mr. No-Frills Black T-Shirt and she's Ms. Badass Low-Maintenance (okay, sure, she wears 17-inch stilettos in the most casual of circumstances and a ton of makeup but, in fairness, all of that is the bare minimum on soaps). Like what even is this headboard? That said, it's nice to see a bedroom set at all. I thought this was a soap! We should be in bedrooms constantly! I have terrible hair jealousy when I watch Crimson scenes. That's... the majority of what I experience watching Crimson scenes. (I've said before that I'm still open to Nelle as a character, though I realize I'm in a minority on that one. I think the actress is dyn-o-mite, but I just wish they'd clarify who this person is any second now so that we -- and she -- have more to work with. We already did the "she's a mystery, we're not sure what her deal is" storyline. This time they could try changing it up by TELLING US one way or the other, for crap's sake. So that we know something Carly and company do not. Because that's... Continue reading
Posted Oct 7, 2017 at Serial Drama
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Haven't recapped The Bold & the Beautiful in a while, and given the rather massive casting news we got recently about a certain former General Hospital Aussie joining the cast in what I'm assuming will actually be a pivotal role again (let's face it, Thorne hasn't had a storyline in eons, he was literally only there for like two episodes when his daughter went insane and was killed in self-defense by his niece) it feels like the right time. Especially since it might draw some new viewers! And if you're new, great news: it's not hard to catch up. Everyone has been married to or romantically involved with everyone else (of the opposite gender, that is, no Gays of Our Lives on this one except for Caroline's offscreen moms) on this show and no couples last more than a few months at a time. Now you're caught up! Also, Bill is evil and there's no reason anyone still endures his existence. Anyway, shall we? Steffy and Bill flirt with each other. He calls her "Motorcycle Mama" and my eyes hurt from rolling, and this ain't subtle. Bill is so drawn to Badass Steffy! She's such a Cool Girl! She rides... Continue reading
Posted Sep 30, 2017 at Serial Drama
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So, this "Drew" allegedly died at three. I'm admittedly terrible at estimating kids' ages, but the blonde boy in this photo is three or younger??? Seriously? Does... anyone on this show understand that twins are two separate human beings? Why does everyone keep saying "there's two Jasons!" THAT'S NOT HOW TWINS WORK. Are they actually letting Liz be part of a storyline that doesn't involve her dating a serial killer or having kids or standing by a hospital bed with a clipboard? A red letter day! So according to Scott, the history of the Quartermaines having their babies stolen from them and being upset about it makes the Quartermaines.... "sort of grabby when it comes to family?" For real? "Gah, your kid was just kidnapped from you, why so grabby?" Elsewhere.... MAXIE: Pleeeeease be in the mood, I need to feel like I have some sort of purpose for my life. Well, isn't that one of the more pathetic lines we've heard in a while. You see, the reason she's trying to find purpose through sex is that Maxie has submitted her resume to "a dozen places" and hasn't gotten a job yet. The heart bleeds. A dozen? Bleeds, I... Continue reading
Posted Sep 26, 2017 at Serial Drama
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We're going back in time a bit to the final episode of Season 2. It always makes me happy to see the Walsh parents in the opening credits. Brenda and Dylan are in an office at border control because Brenda went to another country without a driver's license, as geniuses do. Jim shows up and is NOT PLEASED, because, sure. His child lied about where she was and went to ANOTHER COUNTRY INSTEAD. He yells at Dylan a lot, not even realizing that Brenda lied to Dylan, too. He wants to know if Brandon was part of it, too. He was! And Kelly! Everyone was lying for her! Cindy isn't pleased. Cindy isn't pleased one bit. Jim suggests that the relationship is the problem, and Dylan gets all up in his face, since they are peers. After Dylan takes off, Brenda makes it clear that somehow she has been mistreated and wronged and is the real victim here. Kelly is dating Jake from Melrose Place, or rather Jake who will be on Melrose Place, and gets in trouble with her mom for having lied for Brenda. She isn't delighted. Andrea thinks she wasn't invited to Kelly's mother's wedding. Andrea feels... Continue reading
Posted Sep 22, 2017 at Serial Drama
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Oh, dear. Oh, no no no. We're all just going to have to really quickly check in about Kristina's hair color. To wit: Now, where have we seen this before? In case we need a reminder, here's a quick trip down memory lane of the War On General Hospital Brunettes: The bumpit doesn't help the streaks, Liz. Whose idea was this? Oh Sam, no. No. Okay, this had nothing to do with GH, but they still shouldn't have done it! I don't know who's out there promising olive-complexioned white women with gorgeous dark brown hair that blonde is becoming to them, but I'd mistakenly thought whoever it was had ceased fire years ago! Alas, Kristina has fallen victim. She's not the only one in that family. Kristina has also fallen victim to unfortunate soap-speak. Parker was referring to the last time she was in town when they.... when they... and before coming up with whatever phrase she was searching for, Kristina jumped in with "Made love?" Made love. SAME, Parker. Same. Do real people even still say that? I wouldn't know, I don't know any real people, but I know the talkie people in the glowing box on my console... Continue reading
Posted Sep 21, 2017 at Serial Drama
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I know, I know, it's a ghost town around here. It's not that I haven't been watching, it's that (frankly) I've needed soaps as pure escapism and actually having to type paragraphs and create screencaps doesn't really allow me to just be a lump on the couch (or bed, let's face it) for 42 minutes. But real life is calming down a bit, so once more into the breach! Okay, I'm just dipping my toe in to see how it goes, so no promises. But in the meantime, I recap! Sam is on the docks in a dream, reaching out to Jason (with his back turned) but he won't answer her. She wakes up by his comatose bedside. Not for nothing, but all the caterwauling over Jason getting shot is cracking me up since not one person has mentioned that they've been through this a thousand times -- not only this but worse, as he's already been presumed dead twice. Once for so long that they had a service and everyone quite moved on with their lives. But now that we're practically back to Guza levels of Sonny/Jason deification/martyring (really, it's as bad as ever, the only distinction being that... Continue reading
Posted Sep 15, 2017 at Serial Drama
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The titular mystery here being, really, why I've been watching this show lately with more regularity. There's not a storyline I'm dying to see develop, so I can only conclude that it's due to the Summer TV Wasteland. Or maybe it's just my current shambles of a personal life, during which times I've often noticed there's a certain comfort in the soaps. Like an old bathrobe that doesn't really keep you warm anymore but it still fits and makes you feel like you and you're just glad it's still there even though you don't wear it very often. (Y'all, I even watched and enjoyed The Bold & the Beautiful on Friday! B&B had multiple storylines all in the same episode, it's some sort of June miracle!) (If you have even the remotest interest in B&B and skipped that one, go watch! Now! I'm serious!) On that note, why don't I just do a straight recap while I sip this here delicious black coffee? Curtis confesses to his aunt that he and Jordan are seeing each other. Jordan exasperatedly leans against the doorframe in this tight dress that makes me seriously envy her abs. Finn is apparently playing backgammon with himself.... Continue reading
Posted Jun 11, 2017 at Serial Drama
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(We even got an aerial shot this time!) Massive props to Emme Rylan for having an excellent sense of humor about the whole thing, too. Other bits and bobs: - Oh cool, everyone coddled Jake again. They asked him a question about the chimera, he just stood there and didn't answer, then they asked again, he said he didn't feel good, and they dropped the question entirely. Oh yeah, only life and death and Helena! BUT JAKEY DOESN'T WANNA ANSWER. - Speaking of which, I haven't been watching regularly and I have no idea what the heck the chimera is or what it means (other than... a virus, maybe?). But I like hearing half the cast say the word "chimera" repeatedly. - Was pleasantly surprised by James Patrick Stuart's singing voice, and I really didn't detect any auto-tune in there like the other horrible acts had! Wasn't expecting that. - I'm getting a little sick of Anna walking up every time Nina even looks at Valentin. Do I care passionately about their marriage? I don't, but I really don't want to see it end due to a bunch of silly miscommunications. Also can people stop looking at Anna like she's... Continue reading
Posted May 24, 2017 at Serial Drama
Did y'all buy into my exclamation point up there? So many surprises here! NOBODY CAN BELIEVE IT! ALL BRAND NEW PEOPLE! They are stealing the thunder of yesterday's Oscar nominations at this point! OUTSTANDING LEAD ACTRESS IN A DRAMA SERIES Kristian Alfonso, as Hope Williams Brady Days of Our Lives, NBC Sharon Case, as Sharon McAvoy The Young and the Restless, CBS Melissa Claire Egan, as Chelsea Newman The Young and the Restless, CBS Mary Beth Evans, as Kayla Brady Days of Our Lives, NBC Nancy Lee Grahn, as Alexis Davis General Hospital, ABC Jen Lilley, as Theresa Donovan Black Days of Our Lives, NBC Gina Tognoni, as Phyllis Newman The Young and the Restless, CBS Heather Tom, as Katie Logan The Bold and the Beautiful, CBS Jess Walton, as Jill Abbott The Young and the Restless, CBS Laura Wright, as Carly Corinthos General Hospital, ABC OUTSTANDING LEAD ACTOR IN A DRAMA SERIES Maurice Benard, as Sonny Corinthos General Hospital, ABC Peter Bergman, as Jack Abbott The Young and the Restless, CBS Scott Clifton, as Liam Spencer The Bold and the Beautiful, CBS Billy Flynn, as Chad DiMera Days of Our Lives, NBC Roger Howarth, as Franco General Hospital, ABC... Continue reading
Posted Jan 25, 2017 at Serial Drama
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Stray cents' worth on yesterday's General Hospital: Oh, Scott. Your dear son Franco locking a man in a dog crate for days is not, in fact, "OCD behavior." OCD behavior might include, say, having to touch a doorknob twice before leaving a room or compulsively counting your number of M&Ms or being unable to use a public restroom. Please consult your DSM-V. Perhaps dig a little deeper, like under Psychopathy or Antisocial Personality Disorder. Also, I don't know where you got "monkey cage" from because Franco said "metal dog crate" about 30 times. Nevertheless, it's a delight to see yet another person accept "Okay I locked him in a dog crate for days but goodness gracious I wouldn't murder him!" as a perfectly reasonable thing to say that essentially absolves him of all guilt. Speaking of which, Laura and her terrible advice to Elizabeth about how deeply wonderful, decent people can occasionally do heinous, selfish things and we just have to accept that... well, no, Laura. Get better at advice. Please consult a list of Franco's actions and then tell Liz again that it could ever be a safe, healthy relationship. But again! He only locked a man in a... Continue reading
Posted Jan 10, 2017 at Serial Drama
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"Calm down or I'll call security!" Griffin yells at Franco, because apparently TWICE IN A ROW is the maximum number you're allowed to violently assault someone in a hospital waiting room while people are screaming at you to stop. Third strike, and they actually call security. Otherwise, eh! No big. (Have I mentioned that said assaulter is an ART THERAPIST FOR CHILDREN IN THAT VERY HOSPITAL?) And to be clear, the storyline about Elizabeth's rapist being freed from prison after all these years is not about Elizabeth, but about Franco's rage. While Elizabeth stands helplessly on the sidelines begging him to stop his violent outburst, after having gotten assurances that he wouldn't ever keep anything from her again or try to talk to Tom Baker. Oh, but instead Franco secretly tracked the man and then attacked him during the first moment Elizabeth has encountered her rapist in 20 years, a moment in which any half-decent human would see she needed support and comfort. While she cried for him to stop it. Are we swooning yet? This is how we get convinced that Liz has a man who's finally truly all about her and really cares about her? Now of course... Continue reading
Posted Dec 1, 2016 at Serial Drama
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I couldn't just let this one go without saying anything. Y'all. First of all, that's Ridge's grand romantic gesture to convince Brooke to call off her engagement and come back to him. A heart drawn in the sand with their names in it. That's it. That's the whole thing. Second of all, the best part of it? HE HIRED OTHER PEOPLE TO DO IT. He didn't even do it himself! It's just a sand drawing! And he didn't do it! But he "would," he insisted. Well. Then there you go! What else do you need to know? Third of all, I was dying when he was trying to tell her it wasn't about the two of them but about their family, about the child they share together. As if he has no other children with any other women. And as if she doesn't have about 14 children with other men. (I don't even know, when I try to look back on it I guess there aren't really fourteen, but you know. More than one. With at least three other men?) But then we got to the best line of all. Ridge: How happy do you think RJ would be if... Continue reading
Posted Nov 30, 2016 at Serial Drama
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I don't know, y'all, that's what my DVR description said and it cracked me up for some reason. So what are we dealing with today? We appear to be dealing with Franco menacing Baker (Elizabeth's rapist) with a fire poker. We're also dealing with Jax and Alexis at a bar, which once would've been fun but they've decided to saddle Alexis with a drinking problem. We're dealing with Scott trying to get the evidence against Ava from Lucy. We're dealing with Carly visiting Sonny in jail, Sonny who has just learned he is "not responsible" for Morgan's death, even though he totally is but Sonny does not see nuance anywhere between "directly responsible" and "indirectly responsible," he only sees his own innocence as he does in all things. And we're dealing with Nelle trying to comfort Michael, and we're dealing with me hoping just a little bit that somehow Nelle is responsible for this whole thing. I would say that I like the actress too much and that would make her not-viable as a long-term character, but serial killers are the protagonists of this show, so I imagine it wouldn't do a damn thing to her long-term possibilities. Jax has... Continue reading
Posted Nov 16, 2016 at Serial Drama
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Today on an exhausting episode of General Hospital, Lulu thinks it's a good idea to have a baby with a sociopath because what could go wrong? Dante explains that he could absolutely accept any child of hers that already existed, but this is a situation where she would be deliberately creating a child with an evil lunatic and has no qualms about possibly raising a mini-psycho (and considering her own genes are full of The Darkness™, it might not be the best recipe). And Kevin would like Lulu to pass Laura a note asking her to check "Yes" if she like likes him and "No" if she doesn't. Kevin also sticks around to have dinner with Lulu and her eye makeup and give her a free therapy session, which I'd imagine is the last thing on the damn planet any therapist would want to do off the clock. Lulu, who apparently had a lobotomy recently, literally doesn't understand anything Kevin is saying about how having the baby might be difficult on her and on Dante. Even though Dante expresses reservations every single time they talk about it, including in the conversation they had five minutes before this. Meanwhile, Tracy does... Continue reading
Posted Sep 15, 2016 at Serial Drama
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Lest anyone think I let B&B fall off my radar entirely in my recent uptick in posts, I'm here to check in about it. I've been watching but it's virtually impossible to say anything about it because it's completely dominated by this idiotic hand-wringing about how everyone has to protect Steffy from Quinn, and naturally the best way to do that is for her to be married to Liam instead of Wyatt WHICH DOESN'T MAKE THE LEAST BIT OF SENSE. (The problem, apparently, is Quinn's relationship with Eric, and Steffy's marital status or selection has literally zero bearing on that, but someone on the show pointing that out would be too much like sense.) Thankfully, today Eric had a bit of a brain and pointed out the obvious: that everyone's full of shit and Steffy's just looking for a reason to get back together with Liam. Liam is obviously doing the same, as he sits there talking about how Steffy's "safety" is the first priority with his most essential douchenozzle facial expression. Jackass. We've also been doing the Brooke/Bill dance again recently, complete with the requisite flashbacks to their cheesy hot air balloon outing where they just stared awkwardly at... Continue reading
Posted Aug 30, 2016 at Serial Drama
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I bailed on covering The Fosters for a while because I was just enjoying sinking into the couch to watch a show like it's a big hug. But I noticed a lot of sites stopped reviewing it completely, so I figured I should at least give this week's mid-season finale a little bit of lip service! Naturally, the most important thing that happened in this episode is that Brandon actually suffered real consequences for doing a shitty thing! First, he got accepted into Juilliard, of course, but then it actually got taken away from him because he took the S.A.T.'s for another dude and got caught. No Juilliard for Brandon. No college at all? Who knows. It was really sad. I know, I know Brandon. I'm heartbroken that you'll still be on the show too! (In the interest of being not a total asshole, I'll say that David Lambert was good in that scene. I'm not sure any actor has the talent to make me actually like Brandon, but my aversion is not actor-related.) In other news, Callie (being Callie) made a series of maddening, reckless, destructive choices. A.J. called out Aaron for constantly flirting with Callie, WHICH IS FAIR.... Continue reading
Posted Aug 29, 2016 at Serial Drama
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I am delighted -- delighted, I tell you! -- to see that Lulu and Dante's new house is NOT PURPLE! (It doesn't even fit into the larger purples/grays/blues scheme going on, there's actual warm colors in there!) (Well, the furniture is bluish-purple, though. Let's not get crazy. But the walls! The walls have browns and rusts!) There's some boring nonsense about diamonds and whether or not Elizabeth is in "physical possession" of them, which is concerning to Hayden. Steven Lars shout-out! Is he still in prison, I assume? Does he know his brother is a serial killer, and does it bother him that his serial killer brother roams free dating his sister while he himself is in prison for an assisted suicide for a terminal patient? So we know that Elizabeth and Hayden are half-sisters, but are we meant to know that before today's episode? Has the show come out and said it, or have they just been making it abundantly obvious? And speaking of Elizabeth's siblings (it's all in the family, as she is now dating her brother's brother), where the hell is Sarah?! There have only been three thousand twelve perfect opportunities to bring her back over the... Continue reading
Posted Aug 29, 2016 at Serial Drama
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Okay, production designers, I understand having a unifying palette on your show, but maybe we can chill out a little with the characters' shirts all perfectly matching the walls? And as if to drive the point home, the only scenes where the clothes didn't match the background took place in Middletown, Connecticut. Just in case anyone got too confused, though, Kristina did manage to wear Official Port Charles Purple. (Also, come on, Kevin! You just had to go ahead and ruin a good thing the very next morning.) Continue reading
Posted Aug 25, 2016 at Serial Drama
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As I was ruminating about on our Facebook page earlier, we really haven't weighed in on Duh Faces Of The Year in a while. This hall of fame/shame is an important one. Having lost Steve "smell the fart at the end of every scene" Burton a while ago to the wilds of CBS Daytime, there hasn't been quite the competition that there used to be. Luckily today Sonny and Morgan shared several scenes together. It's like a festival! In the interest of fairness, both actors were completely up for the scenes. They just both have resting duh face and it's often a good time. Speaking of facial expressions.... I don't even know what that's all about, but it's a delight. Speaking of delights, Laura and Kevin! I have serious questions about why the show is spending so much time on two vets over 50 developing a romantic relationship, this isn't their style at all! They're actually cute and smart, and Kevin's being a total weenie about trying to be chivalrous when the woman obviously wants his jock. It's downright lovely, the whole thing. So my question is this: what does this mean? Is it (a) they're both about to die,... Continue reading
Posted Aug 23, 2016 at Serial Drama
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The people have spoken in survey form (you can still take it! one question!). It was cool to see the responses, and our beloved Beverly Hills, 90210 won by a landslide, but there was significant interest in other areas as well, so none of those are excluded. All this means is that I'll make the Bev Hills effort more than once a year! I can't promise any sort of chronological order since, let's face it, I've watched the whole series a lot and sometimes I just want to skip whole eras. And I've explained that, unlike most BH90210 nostalgia blogs and podcasts and message boards, I am unabashedly pro-Kelly Taylor, and to stay that way I need to avoid some of the Brandon/Kelly episodes, since I found her insufferably sanctimonious during that time. (I will take doing a crap thing to a friend as a teenager in the Summer of Deception any day over smug-faced sanctimony) Nonetheless, I happened to be doing an episodes fly-by and fell on one where my girl is not at her best. I'll cover it anyway. It's the premiere of the seventh season and David is directing a video starring Donna, since she is the... Continue reading
Posted Aug 21, 2016 at Serial Drama