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Louise
New York
Recent Activity
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You know, I almost didn't bother saying anything about last night's episode of Nashville because the storyline I'm most interested in wasn't even featured and the storyline that irritates me the most got sent into downright offensive overdrive. And really, kind of in the way I once got sick of my every GH post being "Ugh, Sabrina sucks" and once got sick of my every OLTL post being "Ugh, the Fords suck," I didn't want to just show up here every week and post a rant about Scarlett. But I also really have trouble keeping my mouth (or typing fingers, as the case may be) shut when something is so egregiously horrible as the latest installment of the "Woe Is Scarlett" saga. Because really. Did y'all know she has a really, really mean completely one-dimensional and over-written plot device? Sorry, I mean mother? Well, she does. Look, there she is, being erratic and verbally and almost-physically abusive! Look how subtle and nuanced this is! Scarlett cowers and whimpers at her mother's touch? WHAT COULD THIS MEAN?! Boy, you really have to watch this show closely to see what they're trying to tell us. You've got to be a real sleuth!... Continue reading
Posted Apr 3, 2014 at Serial Drama
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Dear Scarlett, I wish I could say this was from a big fan, but it's not. Something about your wispy, kewpie-doll shtick drives me nuts. But I like people and I want other humans to be happy and you are so not happy that you are popping pills and trying to get fired from dream jobs and just randomly pouting and contorting yourself angrily and your accent is getting worse and worse. You're so ethereal! Or something. So I just wanted to submit to you my deepest sympathies. I am so sorry that your job isn't amazing. Sure, you're a performing artist and you got signed almost out of nowhere by a country music legend and you got to hand pick your producer and you're opening for a major act and you have thousands of people cheering for you while you perform songs that you wrote yourself and that matter a lot to you personally. But oh my god UGH the hours. Plus executives caring about stuff. Plus you lost a friend (sure, by telling her to get lost, but still!). And producers. And some audience members don't like you and they let you know it. IT IS THE WORST,... Continue reading
Posted Mar 27, 2014 at Serial Drama
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Talk about fan service! Last night's The Fosters (actually called "Metropolis," but I prefer my title thankyouverymuch) was just doling it out left and right. Disclaimer: all of this has the asterisk of "in an episode without Jude," whose absence in an episode is only forgivable as a thing in the world due to the actual age of the actor. Let's first deal with the most obvious and wonderful scene for everyone. First we've got hot young Jesus doing shirtless pull-ups. I mean hello. Also how cute was his mother just squeezing past him like this is routine? Really cute, that's how cute. But lest they forget the other half of their viewing demographic: We get Stef doing some bicep curls (and even her son has to point out that she's got some serious guns) (and I really want to know how to get that body type because for real I have been doing hand weights every morning of my life for over 4 years and I still can't even pretend to find a muscle to flex, y'all). But is that not hot enough? I must not be. Because: That's right, then Stef does some pull-ups. So hot. Thank you,... Continue reading
Posted Mar 18, 2014 at Serial Drama
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Episode 217 of Nashville, otherwise known as "The Night Teddy Was Interesting For Eight Seconds." But I wouldn't want to disappoint anyone who really only comes in to share in my dislike of Scarlett, so let's start with a photo journey of how annoying she was this week, and it was really more to do with her hairstyles and pouty face than anything else: I mean they were really just taunting us Scarlett-haters with those braids and that douchey headband, weren't they? That was clearly just to bother us. Meanwhile, Teddy has gone full-scale cheesy-soap guy and is now cornering Deacon's lawyer girlfriend (who still does not have a personality meritorious of a name) and telling her how she feels about him and how he just knows she can't stop thinking about him and their backseat sexcapades. If they were interesting characters or had any chemistry or anything, this might even be entertaining! It's not, but I did get a kick out of Teddy being so corny and ridiculous (made all the more amusing by the incongruity with his concurrent "having trouble disciplining his teen daughter" storyline, because that actually makes it a "having trouble disciplining his teen daughter while... Continue reading
Posted Mar 13, 2014 at Serial Drama
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In light of the fact that my schedule has dramatically changed recently, quick disclaimer: I will cover shows as often as possible but it's unlikely that I'll be able to do every episode of anything, hence the recent scarcity of Nashville and The Fosters posts. That said, I just had to check in about last night's Nashville because how could I resist publicly celebrating Scarlett getting crushed? I couldn't, that's how! You see, Liam and Scarlett got busted sucking face at the recording studio, like you do. Rayna was none too happy about this since Liam is hers. Or because it's bad for her young artist? Or because Rayna is an adult and Scarlett is a child? I'm not sure which version we were supposed to buy, but no matter. I really liked Liam and was starting to feel awfully sad about him getting involved with my least favorite character on the show, but at least I got swiftly rewarded when he didn't even bother trying to be nice about dumping her (he didn't even explain he'd been fired and ordered away from her). I mean I can see why he didn't sugarcoat things when she showed up in that... Continue reading
Posted Mar 6, 2014 at Serial Drama
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In group at Girls United, everyone is chatting about Callie returning to her old/new home. They're challenging her ability to "resist" Brandon. (I don't understand what the problem is, frankly, but tastes vary.) Everyone tells Callie what they learned from her. I have to get around to catching the Girls United webisodes because most of what they learned didn't really play out on the regular episodes, other than Cole. Although Becca does tell Callie that she learned how to look all "blank and superior" from her, which is kind of awesome. They have a group hug and I'm sad that this story arc is over. The family welcomes her home and Jude pretty obviously is trying to avoid her by rushing off to work on a book report. Brandon gives Callie all the droopy eyes and then tells her he moved in with his dad. Credits! I really continue to love the song more every time. Callie has a little family meeting with Stef and Lena about all the new ground rules. Callie agrees to their new rules, acknowledging that she needs to earn back their trust. Which, duh. And then she gives one of her weird "Callie looks." She's... Continue reading
Posted Feb 17, 2014 at Serial Drama
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Not going to lie. I'm dreading this episode. I know we're going to be dealing with the death of Stef's father and I'm a bit of a walking exposed nerve right now (for reasons utterly unrelated to prime time soap operas), so I am predisposed to an inevitable cryfest. Good chance I'll miss some major moments in the midst of it. Just in the interest of full disclosure. I'm nothing if not honest. I'm fragile, people! This is gonna hurt! Of course it opens with her dad very much alive, but this has got to be a fantasy sequence. (Incidentally, I know Sam McMurray has had an extensive career, but I'll always remember him most as Neil Schweiber's dad on Freaks and Geeks.) They are happy and laughing and reminiscing. They're talking about baseball, because San Diego Padres. Father. Title. Then it basically starts snowing inside. She wakes up in bed next to her wife. It was just a dream. He's really gone. Mariana is sad and afraid. It's her first funeral. Jude gives her advice because poor sweet Jude is unfairly wise in this arena at his young age. Cripes, y'all, my heart is just aching already. I'm sure... Continue reading
Posted Feb 10, 2014 at Serial Drama
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They did indeed go too far. With Rayna's TERRIBLE video for her new single. What was that? Also, I hate to ever speak even mildly ill of Connie Britton*, but she just looked so awkward in that -- that didn't look like a country music star who's done hundreds of music videos in her career. (That said, Tami Taylor 4evah!!!!) You guys, I am sad about Will. Gunnar tried to give him a bit of a heartache song which has a lyric about being broken, which Will is NOT (he insists). And it's not his brand. Later he played and sang it alone (and insisted Gunnar's the only one who'll ever hear it), but not until after he got Brent fired. I'm starting to lose sympathy. First, even though Layla sucks, being in a relationship with her under false pretenses like this is just cruel. Second, it's one thing to have internalized homophobia. It's quite another to mess with someone's life and career, not to mention the fact that anti-gay bigotry (or sorry, "making the artists uncomfortable," ha!) was literally given as the reason for Brent losing his job. I really wish he could sue, but I'm pretty sure it's... Continue reading
Posted Feb 6, 2014 at Serial Drama
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At their family breakfast that I always want to go to, Jude is really part of the family. Stef and Lena want to move forward with the adoption! They ask him, does he want to be adopted without Callie? Aww. (Kid, run while you can, your older sister is an albatross!) Emma, the wrestling chick who is ostensibly Jesus's new love interest (or temptation), has lost me this week. He thought she might not be speaking to him because of Lena's general wrath, but she says she doesn't ice people out and that's why she doesn't "hang out with girls." Ugh. Oh how cool, the laid-back chick who prefers hanging out with dudes in high school because she just has to roll her eyes at how lame girls are. (You might notice this is a type of which I am hardly fond. You know, the ones who get in good with the guys 'cause they're not "really" a girl. Except they are. Girls. So they should probably have a little damn solidarity.) (No big deal.) (Clearly I have no passionate thoughts on this topic.) Anyway, he accidentally texted Emma an Anthony Weiner-esque selfie that he meant to send to Lexi... Continue reading
Posted Feb 3, 2014 at Serial Drama
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Welcome to Nashville coverage! I make no guarantees of permanence, but I'm giving it a whirl and let's see how much interest there is. This seems a particularly good prime time serial drama for this blog because some of the cast members were originally on daytime. Jonathan Jackson on GH and Hayden Panettiere on OLTL (playing the daughter of one of my all-time favorite couples, of course). Recognize anyone else with a daytime past? Here we go!* Rayna and Luke make kissyface a bit and Liam, clearly the better choice of men, walks in. Things are a little awkward. Because she should be hooking up with Liam and not Luke. Obviously. Scarlett twirls in with her squeaky kewpie doll voice and meets Liam, too. Liam. Please do not hook up with Scarlett. I do not want to think less of you. (Y'all will quickly learn my loathing for Scarlett. And that I cannot be talked out of it.) Gunnar and Will are chatting as Layla comes out of Will's bedroom wearing his flannel. Gunnar gives Will a look of consternation because Brent is the one who should've walked out of the bedroom in Will's flannel. Liam tries to get Scarlett... Continue reading
Posted Jan 29, 2014 at Serial Drama
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We open to Lena and Stef learning that Brandon popping by to make out with his stepsister at his group home is going to get Callie kicked out. So that's pretty much the end of Brandon and Callie forever, right? RIGHT? Mariana calls Jude Judicorn! Rosie (okay, her character is Rita so I'm going to try to actually say that but I make no promises) lays down some law to Callie. She is to have zero contact with Brandon. At all. Callie pretends to agree to this rule. I'm sure she'll stick to it and this'll stop being the central love story of the show! Hurrah! (I know. I'm adorably naive, right??) All three of Brandon's parents explain to him he needs to back the eff up off of Callie or basically she goes back to juvie. Because he is a genius mouth-breather, he doesn't care. He's still going to see her, he insists. They can't stop him! (Oh Brandon, you dope, your parents are two cops and a high school principal. They sure as hell can stop you, but you should probably stop yourself first instead of getting the girl you're crushing on sent to juvie just because you... Continue reading
Posted Jan 27, 2014 at Serial Drama
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So I'm pretty sure we were all just on the edge of our seats waiting for the "romantic" "Brallie" reunion tonight on The Fosters, right? If by "on the edge our seats" I probably mean sick to my stomach and super-annoyed that this seems to be the primary reason people watch the show if the PR department is to be believed. The number of "I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE BRANDON AND CALLIE TOGETHER AGAIN 2NITE!!!" tweets I saw today were just... chilling. At any rate, we started off nicely for the grownup viewers. Callie's behind bars again. We were all hoping for some Orange Is The New Black-esque jailhouse shenanigans, right? They have to understand their adult demographic, yes? Because I feel like it lines up. Jude is sad and is worried they no longer want to adopt Callie. FIX IT FOR JUDE, DON'T YOU DARE MAKE MY LITTLE JUDE SAD, JERKS! Brandon and his dopey droopy face confesses to sucking face with his foster sister. And he's all self-righteous about it, because apparently when teenagers are self-righteous about inappropriate relationships it increases viewership and couple fandom on ABC Family (y'all, I'm flying through Pretty Little Liars right now and... Continue reading
Posted Jan 20, 2014 at Serial Drama
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"I'm not going to be selfish anymore, okay? I promise." -- Callie, just before making sure a pair of newlyweds who just agreed to make her a part of their family wake up the morning after their wedding to a missing kid. Callie's got a real funny idea of "unselfish." Ugh. Welcome to coverage of The Fosters! I love this show, but I fully recognize that it occasionally overdoses on the schmaltz, so as it's a nighttime serial drama it seems the right fit for that Serial Drama balance of love and hate. But mostly love. Fortunately we do open with a little bit of wedding night afterglow between Stef and Lena. The ladies got more action in the first thirty seconds of the episode than in the entire first half of the season! So pretty. Annie Potts, aka Stef's mom, does not approve of the Fosters' plan to adopt Callie and Jude. Callie, who is currently on a cross-country trip with Wyatt (who I love and wish that we were meant to see him as a legitimate love interest for Callie, but I realize we're all supposed to be rooting for Callie and her foster/adoptive brother and also eww... Continue reading
Posted Jan 13, 2014 at Serial Drama
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I have been the worst soap blogger ever, I know. And while it's literally been months since I've caught any of GH or B&B, I'm still doing my best to keep up with One Life to Live. I'm just lagging behind! (I'd lie and say I'm too busy to ever watch any television, but those of y'all who are my Twitter buddies know damn well I've watched Orange is The New Black about three times through already, so you're onto me...) So since everything that can be said about the latest episode has probably been discussed, let's just keep things safe by doing a straight recap while I finally get caught up to speed! Join me, and forgive me? Llanview Hospital. Destiny and Matthew are there for Drew, who has had a seizure, they are informed by a cute doctor lady. Not only is OLTL the only soap (is it still?) to actually have regular South Asian-American characters, but they really love to fill their dayplayer roles that way as well, and I love it. Soaps are notoriously bad at diversity, so this always makes me happy that things are at least in motion to improve! But I digress. Doc... Continue reading
Posted Aug 10, 2013 at Serial Drama
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SO MUCH LOVE IN THE AFTERNOON, Y'ALL. So much. Or evening or morning, depending on when you watch. I spent much of tonight trying to get me and my dog away from the large congregation of skunks that have set up house right outside our building (this is Manhattan, people, what is GOING ON) so I really figured I either wouldn't ever make it back in to watch the episode or that my dog and I would spend most of the evening in a vat of tomato juice. (Which is totally OLTL-related because didn't Bo have to soak in tomato juice before his wedding to Nora?) Luckily, we made it through unscathed. I do not think that Matthew Buchanan is going to make it through unscathed. Matty got laid and popped his internet girly's cherry, but damn! Young lady, nobody believes you that your first time was "incredible" and, quick tip, don't cry afterwards and then creepily watch the dude as he sleeps. Stalker in the making! Everybody's favorite tentpole pairing got in a little nookie themselves. But really. No on the tie-dye, Red! Another redhead finally got some horizontal action. At last, at last! Now they better give us... Continue reading
Posted Jul 16, 2013 at Serial Drama
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I didn't die, y'all. And I've finally caught up on OLTL, so I'm going to jump right back in by recapping the most recent episode (#37). I like this new "TOLN presents" graphic at the beginning of the show. I'm not crazy, that's new, isn't it? Ugh. Destiny and Natalie are getting ready for their "double date that isn't a date." I am not a fan of this friendship, it's too weird. Not that I don't have close friends where there's an even bigger age difference, but I just don't like it. It feels forced. Anyway they're talking about how Jeffrey is a "buffer," which... okay, sure, y'all. Blair shows up at Todd's to chew him out about whatever his plan is to save ALL OF THE LOVED ONES. Jack is at the coffee shop with his totally disgusting teacher. I still have post-traumatic stress from their impromptu sexathon so I can't even deal. Oh yeah, and Shaun is there as Jack's bodyguard. Shaun! Jeffrey shows up at Llanfair at VIki's behest. She wants him to do some digging about the Pellegrino fund investors because Clint is super-sketchy because Viki is not brain-dead. I for serious love Viki/Jeffrey scenes, you... Continue reading
Posted Jul 9, 2013 at Serial Drama
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It's frustrating that I'm too insanely busy to pay attention to soaps much these days because, really, OLTL is on freakin' fire. In all honesty, it's the only show I've gotten a chance to watch in weeks. As upset as I was about the reduction to two episodes per week instead of four? Now I'm super-relieved. Because I get to watch all of it. And it's all adorable. Unfortunately I wish I had more time to just screencap the whole darn thing and find new ways to describe my general happiness with the show, but I don't. So let's just check in real quick. My favorite non-romantic-but-I-bet-there's-totally-fanfiction pairing hung out today and got all worried about each other. Blea, working together to save each other and their families! Looking super-hot while doing it! Have we discussed how much I want them to be crime-fighting sidekicks like they were in Roxy's Fraternity Row dream? Because I do. Oh and Matthew got Catfished (or so it appears). I really enjoyed the way Kelley Missal played Dani's reaction -- a perfect mix of sincere sympathy and mild amusement. Love it. And now that Clint's machinations to keep John away from Liam have come... Continue reading
Posted Jun 18, 2013 at Serial Drama
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A couple of very, very important things happened today. First of all, Cutter loves him some Natalie. For real! He doesn't just want a piece of her anymore, he got all manner of concerned and jealous about her today! I dig it, y'all. I really do. Just a couple little glances told us everything we needed to know: He's got a real crush on her! A real one! Oh yeah, and she also finally found out that John thinks she took out a restraining order against him and won't allow him to see Liam, so she's a couple steps closer to finding out about Clint's machinations. This bums me out, naturally, because I love Clint and Natalie's relationship -- they seem to understand one another more than anyone else in their family does. That said, soaps are about the journey and I'm sure after things blow up they'll find a way of putting themselves back together! What is this, optimism? What's happening to me? And then you knew I just could resist screencapping the crap out of Todd leaping to cover Blair after a gunman took a shot at her. Too much cute! So can he nurse her back to... Continue reading
Posted Jun 11, 2013 at Serial Drama
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And no, not about the latest offscreen drama. I'm just trying to train myself to remember that they're in uncharted waters here and there are going to be plenty of speed bumps before things get smooth and going by rote. Plenty. So Todd got this note today: Okay, first of all: FUN. It's clearly a list to threaten all of his loved ones! Second of all: as much as I love her (and especially the esteem with which she's treated in OLTL2), I did get a bit of a chuckle that Natalie was on the list. Sure, she's his niece, but does the threatener know about the time Todd cared about her so much that he kidnapped her and dyed her hair blonde to sub her in so Mitch could murder her instead of Blair and Jessica (the niece he does love) (oh wait, he loves his niece Sarah, too, dammit!)? Third of all: theories? What are everyone's thoughts on what's going on? (NO SPOILERS. If you have heard spoilers and rumors, shhhhh!!!!) Continue reading
Posted Jun 6, 2013 at Serial Drama
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Oh, Steffy. Steffy, Steffy, Steffy. My favorite days are the ones where a B&B episode sets the feminist movement back about six decades. This could be a heartbreaking story, Steffy's miscarriage. Instead, it's already about Hope moving in on Liam and Steffy becoming fixated on becoming pregnant again AS SOON AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE. Ostensibly to make sure Liam doesn't jump ship. And this could be a moving and powerful story, Steffy's newly-diagnosed near-inability to conceive. Because that is a real thing that happens to real women every day, and it's not generally something that leads them directly to getting hung up on holding onto their men. Because it's so much bigger than that. And it could be one of those great soapy "unlikely friendships form" type of storylines, the way they've positioned Katie as Steffy's first ally upon getting the news. Could be! Oh but.... Steffy: No no no. I promised my husband a child and I'm going to give him a child. And you're telling me that I can't? I am not hearing that! God forbid she think about her own needs. God forbid any freaking thing on this show not be immediately about Liam Effing "Douchenozzle" Spencer. Look,... Continue reading
Posted Jun 5, 2013 at Serial Drama
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I mean in the nicest way, but does anyone else find it a little odd that the youth scene in Llanview is just gushing over the presence of Snoop Lion? Are college students really his demographic? Don't get me wrong, I love that he's a fan of the show and that they wrote in this history between him and Bo, and his visits always give me one heck of a chuckle. And I certainly do not have my finger on the pulse of today's youth culture but it just strikes me as hilariously... discordant? How awesome was the little father-daughter manicure outing today? It should be an annual pastime! I was a little disappointed Dani didn't succeed in getting Todd to get that neon green color on his nails. Even better yet, Dorian joined the fun! I'm not really a spa kind of gal, but if I ever did indulge in such a thing, there's no one I'd rather have with me than Dorian Lord! Destiny and Matthew had another mini-battle over adorable-and-rapidly-SORAS-ing Drew. He looked pretty bored. Laura Harrier is better than she was in the first few episodes, but my jury is still out on her. She's a... Continue reading
Posted Jun 4, 2013 at Serial Drama
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Okay, maybe two comments. First: Alley Mills is a national treasure. I mean, right? Also... Girlfriend is hot! Continue reading
Posted Jun 2, 2013 at Serial Drama
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Yeah, I finally found out what that one line in the theme song is. What does that even mean? Like a tumbler? A wine glass? I guess everyone is supposed to be writing about General Hospital today because of how utterly head-scratching (and rape-themed, so fun, whee!) it has been for the past two days and, honestly, I could write a whole rant about how they appear to be re-inventing Franco (Franco! The worst idea ever the first time!) as Todd Manning 2: The Darkening so that they can keep Roger Howarth snarking and smirking and menacing instead of letting him stretch as a brand new, unrecognizable character (as I've only ever seen him on OLTL and in a few plays, I had really been looking forward to it.... oops) that doesn't play father to a character portrayed by Kristen Alderson (and you know it's a red letter day when I'm finding her role to be the most compelling of the three thus far). But as you can see from my inability to even complete a clause without throwing in a parenthical (and such random ones at that), my brain is currently imploding over all that madness and I am... Continue reading
Posted May 30, 2013 at Serial Drama
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No, I'm kidding, I have none of that to offer. So sorry for my pathetic silence, especially in light of such fun stuff on OLTL last week. I have been working too hard playing too hard and sleeping not at all and I'm just running on fumes here. So let's just dive in with some totally random non-sequiturs about today's episode of One Life to Live. First of all, Tea thinks Jack was always the more grounded one of Todd's kids? Did someone give her forget-me-now pills about basically every interaction she's ever had with him? Second of all, Bo not understanding that Snoop Dogg is now Snoop Lion was the cutest ever. Nora: It's Snoop Lion, honey. Bo: Snoop don't lie, honey! As awkward as Snoop's visits always are, they'll never fail for me just because of the whole incongruity in his alleged friendship with Bo and Nora. Sure, we had sit through his movie plug, but we also got that hilarious explanation of his name change, complete with Bo getting all starry-eyed and nostalgic about all that meaningful time he spent in Jamaica. OF COURSE HE DID! Viki and Natalie finally got some mother/daughter time! Correct me if... Continue reading
Posted May 28, 2013 at Serial Drama
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Well, I started to take notes on today's General Hospital to find things to make light of in an effort to get my mind off of what's been happening in Oklahoma (I hope all of you in the area are okay) and, you know, there were definitely a few things I was gearing up to get all snarky about but then someone yanked the rug right out from under me and I found myself engaged in earnest and weeping. Not for fun-soapy-weepy reasons, but for being legitimately moved and heartbroken by some terribly painful and authentic scenes courtesy of the phenomenal Jane Elliott. It really felt like a sucker punch. But in a good way! I expected more relish chat (and dreaded it, to be honest) and then they just turned right on around and hit me straight in the gut. Seriously, if you're in "watching only sporadically" mode right now, do not miss today's second half. After Luke heinously kissed Tracy and tried to convince her to just sit and wait around for him while he goes off gallavanting, she stood up for herself in a way that garnered a standing ovation. (And lest we forget that had she... Continue reading
Posted May 20, 2013 at Serial Drama
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