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Louise
New York
Recent Activity
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I gleaned these important things from last night's episode of The Fosters: - In shocking news, Brandon continues to be the worst. Wyatt was concerned about Callie's freakout last week and goes to Brandon for insight. After getting very pissy about the fact that Callie is his sister so of course this isn't about unfinished business with him, Brandon immediately snorts that he's already given Wyatt all the help he's going to by "getting out of" Wyatt's way. So is she your sister or not, Brandon? Also, SHE SHUT YOU DOWN. I'm sure she'd really appreciate him going around basically acting like he could have her if he wanted to. Classy. (Yeah, yeah, I'm well aware that Callie and Brandon will still eventually get together, but it doesn't mean I have to like it. And the longer they put it off the grosser it is.) - They finally got rid of the terrible Mike and Carol separate twin beds! Will the Moms be able to have more than a half-cuddling scene now?! - Mariana has a date! I like this Mat. I hope his influence convinces her to return to her natural color. - Lena told Stef about Brandon having... Continue reading
Posted 2 days ago at Serial Drama
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With apologies to the eleven of you who get disappointed about such things, I didn't have time to do an in-depth recap of last night's episode of The Fosters. That said, there are clearly some things that must be addressed! Right after we take a moment to enjoy our titular couple: Okay. Here we go. #Brallie4Ever Y'all knew I had to start there, right? I have a general quibble with any show that gives us suggested hashtags in the middle of a scene because (a) it feels like the folks in charge are showing their hand in terms of agenda and (b) it encourages incredibly irritating fan wars and (c) it's a little insulting either to the show or the viewers, depending on how you look at it. I understand its value in terms of marketing efficacy, though. And to be fair, there was definitely a pro-Callie/Wyatt suggested hashtag earlier in the episode and as annoying as shipper wars are to many viewers, they are money in the bank for serialized television. Something about the title of this very website suggests I may need to just shut up and accept such things. But here's what it boiled down to in... Continue reading
Posted Jul 15, 2014 at Serial Drama
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The Moms are making the crew clean out the garage. Mariana and Jesus make a clever move or two trying to conceal a beer bottle from the party (so we're never going to learn how much trouble they got in or how much Stef and Lena found out about the party??), and it slips out that Lena's having a girl, which leads to Mariana doing some teasing that the boys are outnumbered now. Mariana apparently hasn't been keeping up in math class, because from my count this news means three boys and three girls. If she's counting Moms, the boys were already outnumbered. This is probably not the important part. Callie tells Jude about Sophia and makes it clear to him that he counts as her brother, first and foremost, and her interest in reaching out to her long-lost half sister is contingent upon his approval. And he's Jude, so he plays it cool, because Jude. Speaking of which, Jude gives Connor the full cold shoulder treatment when Connor apologizes for lying about having stood up to his dad to attend the Fosters house party. Jude still doesn't want to be anyone's secret. Timothy tells Lena that she'll be hearing... Continue reading
Posted Jul 8, 2014 at Serial Drama
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Okay, fancytime soap nerds, let's take a look at the Season 1 finale of Beacon Hill, shall we? I think the running time should allow this to be quick and painless. The weather outside in NYC right now suggests I might electrocute myself just for writing this, so don't ever suggest I don't love y'all, okay? And we're off! Some part of me assumed that as the season finale (and the fact that we'll be waiting a full year for the next season), the episode would be super-sized. You know, like 13 minutes. Or even 10. I saw the progress bar and realized this was not the case. So hang onto your hats because a lot of everything and a lot of nothing will be happening! I need to talk about the title cards real quick. Is this a digital image of an eyeball or a vagina? I'm certain it's one or the other, but the graphics confuse me. Anyway, we open on Tom Wesley driving and dialing his daughter. He leaves her a grumpy voicemail that she can't keep ignoring his calls. Don't worry, he's using a hands-free device of some sort. Sara is working on her computer when... Continue reading
Posted Jul 2, 2014 at Serial Drama
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I'm loving this episode's title, it works on so many levels! The first of which was my favorite subplot: Jude's story! Jude's story is usually my favorite because JUDICORN! He's just so adorable. This week he went to the batting cages with his best friend (and possible crush) Connor, but Connor's father decided Jude was a little too affectionate to be a straight dude. So Connor's been forbidden to spent any more time with Jude, which isn't frustrating to Connor because of bigotry but instead because, as he insists, he's sure his father is wrong and that Jude is not gay. Jude is a little rock star and asks, "But what if I were gay?" This question stumps Connor and makes the rest of us collectively "Awww!" I love that Jude still isn't sure but also doesn't think anyone should care whether he's gay or not. I do have a few questions about the storyline, though. Obviously Connor's father knows full well that his son's best friend's parents are a same-sex couple and that the school's vice principal is a lesbian, so it seems to be if he's really that bigoted he might have restricted Connor's time with Jude in... Continue reading
Posted Jun 24, 2014 at Serial Drama
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Time for a new soap! I know I'm way late to the party, but I was dragging my heels due to the $10 season fee and the fact that it's online only. I hate watching TV on my computer. Sheepish confession: I only just found out I can just plug an HDMI cord into my TV and everything that's on my computer screen is all of a sudden on my TV. This has changed everything. Now I can watch not only web soaps, but all the Australian women's prison shows I want! What this all amounts to is: welcome to Beacon Hill coverage! I'm sure anyone discussing it online has long since said all they need to say about it, so I'm going to keep it short and sweet so that once the second season starts, I'll be caught up and ready to go in a more timely manner. There are twelve episodes in the first season and I've seen eleven of them, so we'll just dive in to those and then I'll cover the finale in another post. Mind you, when I say "episodes," I really mean "scenes." Because they are short. I believe the longest episode was eleven... Continue reading
Posted Jun 23, 2014 at Serial Drama
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The biggest television night of the year is here! Okay. The most important television broadcast is... oh hell, I don't know. They're having a small party and handing out some statues and streaming it online and calling it the Daytime Emmys. I have volunteered to take the hit and subject myself to it so you don't have to, or so you'll watch knowing at least one other human is out there dealing with it. "Extravaganza" can be interpreted as ironically as you please. Sadly, Mallory will have to sit this year out but I'm sure she'll be somewhere feeling really jealous of the rest of us gluttons for punishment. And as some of you know, I haven't been watching any of the daytime soaps this year but since these awards are for the 2013 season, I'll actually sort of know what's going on. Well, 5% of the time since the rest will presumably be about talk shows and children's television. So come join me back here at 8pm Eastern time tonight and we'll go through this together! This time I'm just doing it the old-fashioned way, so you'll have to keep refreshing the screen to get the new comments (instead... Continue reading
Posted Jun 22, 2014 at Serial Drama
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Season Two premiere! Let's just take a look at my favorite family-friendly couple: I don't want to get on their bad side. Their nervous/disapproving looks are enough to make me mend my ways! I might not have been watching closely enough, but I couldn't figure out how much time is supposed to have passed since the first season's finale. Obviously a good bit because legal maneuvers have occurred and various relationships have evolved (Callie and Wyatt seem pretty serious!) or re-settled and injuries have had some time to heal and fetuses have incubated (I'm sure that is not the correct medical term) and hair has grown. Quite a bit. And some of it's gone blond. (Oh, Mariana.) Oh and she's dancin' now! With the cool kids. And leave it to The Fosters to make a teenage girl dyeing her hair blond into a social issue. Stef was opposed to the dyeing, which is easy for her to say being that she naturally looks like a Barbie doll, and Lena defended it making it into an issue about beauty standards being based on a white "norm" in society. And don't get me wrong, this is a totally valid and real thing!... Continue reading
Posted Jun 16, 2014 at Serial Drama
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Season finale! And boy are they lucky their renewal just got announced, this would have been a seriously unsatisfactory series finale. First of all, my obvious question: do we feel like there's any chance that Scarlett's departure is a real thing and she won't be back next season to torture us with her pouting and twitching and the rest of the cast assuring us of her special snowflake status? (Holy crap, that line in Gunnar's song about her about how whenever she opens her mouth DIAMONDS START POURING OUT?! I almost choked on my laughter.) Or will we be subjected to everyone in town taking turns to sing her praises and beg her to stay and go on about how she's too wonderful to deny the GIFT THAT IS HER to the world/town/country music? Sadly, I think I already know the answer to that. Right, so there was an engagement! Luke proposed very intimately in front of a stadium full of people. I never understand that. Just last week he was insecure that she even loved him, and this week he's so confident she'll be his wife that he risks public rejection like that? Public proposals are one thing if... Continue reading
Posted May 15, 2014 at Serial Drama
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I have to say I'm still ruminating over this most recent episode. Do I not have much to joke around about because it was so solid? Or is because it was just kind of bland? I haven't really decided yet. But one thing I do know: how dare they not give me something to mock or lambaste?! What is my function in the world now? I am so lost, somebody please hold me. Here are some things I learned in this episode. Kellie Pickler is still a thing! This surprised me, though I have no reason to assume I'd know anything about the state of popular music today. I think I've purchased music 16 times since 1997, and really the only reason I have any idea who she is is that I once covered American Idol for another, far inferior website. Also and more importantly, America! I have to admit the most amusing part of this for me was how much effort ABC put into promoting Michelle Obama's appearance on the episode -- -- and then hilariously outright cut away from her during her entire speech so that different characters could have conversations about their storylines, with her giantly looming... Continue reading
Posted May 8, 2014 at Serial Drama
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Oh, Lucky Spencer, you silly boy. Look at the present your girlfriend got you! As gifts go, I would think that's a good one? He doesn't think so. Second straight man on the planet who ever got bored by a half-naked multimillionaire hot blonde writhing on top of him. She doesn't take it too well. As well she shouldn't. And I might add that she was right to be pissed at him for telling her she should have given Scarlett the "night off" on tour. Not how it works. Sorry. And I mean the whole reason he's just not that into Juliette anymore is this particular character from a Tennessee Williams play: There is no accounting for taste. But as he explained to her in the episode, Scarlett does have a permanent place in his heart. They were each other's first loves! But tell me. That permanent place? IS IT A PERMANENT LOCK, LUCKY SPENCER? IS IT? Scarlett done got herself admitted to the nervous hospital, y'all! And is finally going to quit being a country star or something. Not that I'm interested in watching her do something else, but of course this was the episode where we were supposed... Continue reading
Posted May 1, 2014 at Serial Drama
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Y'all! I forgot this was even happening today. Mostly because I haven't been able to really watch much daytime TV lately and because I figured my beloved and twice-dead favorite show would be shut out completely. But that's not how this played out! (Not that there were many other surprises.) So what does everyone think? OUTSTANDING DRAMA SERIES The Bold and the Beautiful Days of our Lives One Life to Live The Young and the Restless OUTSTANDING LEAD ACTRESS IN A DRAMA SERIES Eileen Davidson, Days of our Lives Katherine Kelly Lang, The Bold and the Beautiful Heather Tom, The Bold and the Beautiful Arianne Zucker, Days of our Lives OUTSTANDING LEAD ACTOR IN A DRAMA SERIES Peter Bergman, The Young and the Restless Doug Davidson, The Young and the Restless Christian LeBlanc, The Young and the Restless Billy Miller, The Young and the Restless Jason Thompson, General Hospital OUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A DRAMA SERIES Melissa Claire Egan, The Young and the Restless Jane Elliot, General Hospital Amelia Heinle, The Young and the Restless Elizabeth Hendrickson, The Young and the Restless Kelly Sullivan, General Hospital OUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A DRAMA SERIES Bradford Anderson, General Hospital Steve Burton, The... Continue reading
Posted May 1, 2014 at Serial Drama
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You know, I almost didn't bother saying anything about last night's episode of Nashville because the storyline I'm most interested in wasn't even featured and the storyline that irritates me the most got sent into downright offensive overdrive. And really, kind of in the way I once got sick of my every GH post being "Ugh, Sabrina sucks" and once got sick of my every OLTL post being "Ugh, the Fords suck," I didn't want to just show up here every week and post a rant about Scarlett. But I also really have trouble keeping my mouth (or typing fingers, as the case may be) shut when something is so egregiously horrible as the latest installment of the "Woe Is Scarlett" saga. Because really. Did y'all know she has a really, really mean completely one-dimensional and over-written plot device? Sorry, I mean mother? Well, she does. Look, there she is, being erratic and verbally and almost-physically abusive! Look how subtle and nuanced this is! Scarlett cowers and whimpers at her mother's touch? WHAT COULD THIS MEAN?! Boy, you really have to watch this show closely to see what they're trying to tell us. You've got to be a real sleuth!... Continue reading
Posted Apr 3, 2014 at Serial Drama
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Dear Scarlett, I wish I could say this was from a big fan, but it's not. Something about your wispy, kewpie-doll shtick drives me nuts. But I like people and I want other humans to be happy and you are so not happy that you are popping pills and trying to get fired from dream jobs and just randomly pouting and contorting yourself angrily and your accent is getting worse and worse. You're so ethereal! Or something. So I just wanted to submit to you my deepest sympathies. I am so sorry that your job isn't amazing. Sure, you're a performing artist and you got signed almost out of nowhere by a country music legend and you got to hand pick your producer and you're opening for a major act and you have thousands of people cheering for you while you perform songs that you wrote yourself and that matter a lot to you personally. But oh my god UGH the hours. Plus executives caring about stuff. Plus you lost a friend (sure, by telling her to get lost, but still!). And producers. And some audience members don't like you and they let you know it. IT IS THE WORST,... Continue reading
Posted Mar 27, 2014 at Serial Drama
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Talk about fan service! Last night's The Fosters (actually called "Metropolis," but I prefer my title thankyouverymuch) was just doling it out left and right. Disclaimer: all of this has the asterisk of "in an episode without Jude," whose absence in an episode is only forgivable as a thing in the world due to the actual age of the actor. Let's first deal with the most obvious and wonderful scene for everyone. First we've got hot young Jesus doing shirtless pull-ups. I mean hello. Also how cute was his mother just squeezing past him like this is routine? Really cute, that's how cute. But lest they forget the other half of their viewing demographic: We get Stef doing some bicep curls (and even her son has to point out that she's got some serious guns) (and I really want to know how to get that body type because for real I have been doing hand weights every morning of my life for over 4 years and I still can't even pretend to find a muscle to flex, y'all). But is that not hot enough? I must not be. Because: That's right, then Stef does some pull-ups. So hot. Thank you,... Continue reading
Posted Mar 18, 2014 at Serial Drama
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Episode 217 of Nashville, otherwise known as "The Night Teddy Was Interesting For Eight Seconds." But I wouldn't want to disappoint anyone who really only comes in to share in my dislike of Scarlett, so let's start with a photo journey of how annoying she was this week, and it was really more to do with her hairstyles and pouty face than anything else: I mean they were really just taunting us Scarlett-haters with those braids and that douchey headband, weren't they? That was clearly just to bother us. Meanwhile, Teddy has gone full-scale cheesy-soap guy and is now cornering Deacon's lawyer girlfriend (who still does not have a personality meritorious of a name) and telling her how she feels about him and how he just knows she can't stop thinking about him and their backseat sexcapades. If they were interesting characters or had any chemistry or anything, this might even be entertaining! It's not, but I did get a kick out of Teddy being so corny and ridiculous (made all the more amusing by the incongruity with his concurrent "having trouble disciplining his teen daughter" storyline, because that actually makes it a "having trouble disciplining his teen daughter while... Continue reading
Posted Mar 13, 2014 at Serial Drama
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In light of the fact that my schedule has dramatically changed recently, quick disclaimer: I will cover shows as often as possible but it's unlikely that I'll be able to do every episode of anything, hence the recent scarcity of Nashville and The Fosters posts. That said, I just had to check in about last night's Nashville because how could I resist publicly celebrating Scarlett getting crushed? I couldn't, that's how! You see, Liam and Scarlett got busted sucking face at the recording studio, like you do. Rayna was none too happy about this since Liam is hers. Or because it's bad for her young artist? Or because Rayna is an adult and Scarlett is a child? I'm not sure which version we were supposed to buy, but no matter. I really liked Liam and was starting to feel awfully sad about him getting involved with my least favorite character on the show, but at least I got swiftly rewarded when he didn't even bother trying to be nice about dumping her (he didn't even explain he'd been fired and ordered away from her). I mean I can see why he didn't sugarcoat things when she showed up in that... Continue reading
Posted Mar 6, 2014 at Serial Drama
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In group at Girls United, everyone is chatting about Callie returning to her old/new home. They're challenging her ability to "resist" Brandon. (I don't understand what the problem is, frankly, but tastes vary.) Everyone tells Callie what they learned from her. I have to get around to catching the Girls United webisodes because most of what they learned didn't really play out on the regular episodes, other than Cole. Although Becca does tell Callie that she learned how to look all "blank and superior" from her, which is kind of awesome. They have a group hug and I'm sad that this story arc is over. The family welcomes her home and Jude pretty obviously is trying to avoid her by rushing off to work on a book report. Brandon gives Callie all the droopy eyes and then tells her he moved in with his dad. Credits! I really continue to love the song more every time. Callie has a little family meeting with Stef and Lena about all the new ground rules. Callie agrees to their new rules, acknowledging that she needs to earn back their trust. Which, duh. And then she gives one of her weird "Callie looks." She's... Continue reading
Posted Feb 17, 2014 at Serial Drama
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Not going to lie. I'm dreading this episode. I know we're going to be dealing with the death of Stef's father and I'm a bit of a walking exposed nerve right now (for reasons utterly unrelated to prime time soap operas), so I am predisposed to an inevitable cryfest. Good chance I'll miss some major moments in the midst of it. Just in the interest of full disclosure. I'm nothing if not honest. I'm fragile, people! This is gonna hurt! Of course it opens with her dad very much alive, but this has got to be a fantasy sequence. (Incidentally, I know Sam McMurray has had an extensive career, but I'll always remember him most as Neil Schweiber's dad on Freaks and Geeks.) They are happy and laughing and reminiscing. They're talking about baseball, because San Diego Padres. Father. Title. Then it basically starts snowing inside. She wakes up in bed next to her wife. It was just a dream. He's really gone. Mariana is sad and afraid. It's her first funeral. Jude gives her advice because poor sweet Jude is unfairly wise in this arena at his young age. Cripes, y'all, my heart is just aching already. I'm sure... Continue reading
Posted Feb 10, 2014 at Serial Drama
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They did indeed go too far. With Rayna's TERRIBLE video for her new single. What was that? Also, I hate to ever speak even mildly ill of Connie Britton*, but she just looked so awkward in that -- that didn't look like a country music star who's done hundreds of music videos in her career. (That said, Tami Taylor 4evah!!!!) You guys, I am sad about Will. Gunnar tried to give him a bit of a heartache song which has a lyric about being broken, which Will is NOT (he insists). And it's not his brand. Later he played and sang it alone (and insisted Gunnar's the only one who'll ever hear it), but not until after he got Brent fired. I'm starting to lose sympathy. First, even though Layla sucks, being in a relationship with her under false pretenses like this is just cruel. Second, it's one thing to have internalized homophobia. It's quite another to mess with someone's life and career, not to mention the fact that anti-gay bigotry (or sorry, "making the artists uncomfortable," ha!) was literally given as the reason for Brent losing his job. I really wish he could sue, but I'm pretty sure it's... Continue reading
Posted Feb 6, 2014 at Serial Drama
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At their family breakfast that I always want to go to, Jude is really part of the family. Stef and Lena want to move forward with the adoption! They ask him, does he want to be adopted without Callie? Aww. (Kid, run while you can, your older sister is an albatross!) Emma, the wrestling chick who is ostensibly Jesus's new love interest (or temptation), has lost me this week. He thought she might not be speaking to him because of Lena's general wrath, but she says she doesn't ice people out and that's why she doesn't "hang out with girls." Ugh. Oh how cool, the laid-back chick who prefers hanging out with dudes in high school because she just has to roll her eyes at how lame girls are. (You might notice this is a type of which I am hardly fond. You know, the ones who get in good with the guys 'cause they're not "really" a girl. Except they are. Girls. So they should probably have a little damn solidarity.) (No big deal.) (Clearly I have no passionate thoughts on this topic.) Anyway, he accidentally texted Emma an Anthony Weiner-esque selfie that he meant to send to Lexi... Continue reading
Posted Feb 3, 2014 at Serial Drama
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Welcome to Nashville coverage! I make no guarantees of permanence, but I'm giving it a whirl and let's see how much interest there is. This seems a particularly good prime time serial drama for this blog because some of the cast members were originally on daytime. Jonathan Jackson on GH and Hayden Panettiere on OLTL (playing the daughter of one of my all-time favorite couples, of course). Recognize anyone else with a daytime past? Here we go!* Rayna and Luke make kissyface a bit and Liam, clearly the better choice of men, walks in. Things are a little awkward. Because she should be hooking up with Liam and not Luke. Obviously. Scarlett twirls in with her squeaky kewpie doll voice and meets Liam, too. Liam. Please do not hook up with Scarlett. I do not want to think less of you. (Y'all will quickly learn my loathing for Scarlett. And that I cannot be talked out of it.) Gunnar and Will are chatting as Layla comes out of Will's bedroom wearing his flannel. Gunnar gives Will a look of consternation because Brent is the one who should've walked out of the bedroom in Will's flannel. Liam tries to get Scarlett... Continue reading
Posted Jan 29, 2014 at Serial Drama
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We open to Lena and Stef learning that Brandon popping by to make out with his stepsister at his group home is going to get Callie kicked out. So that's pretty much the end of Brandon and Callie forever, right? RIGHT? Mariana calls Jude Judicorn! Rosie (okay, her character is Rita so I'm going to try to actually say that but I make no promises) lays down some law to Callie. She is to have zero contact with Brandon. At all. Callie pretends to agree to this rule. I'm sure she'll stick to it and this'll stop being the central love story of the show! Hurrah! (I know. I'm adorably naive, right??) All three of Brandon's parents explain to him he needs to back the eff up off of Callie or basically she goes back to juvie. Because he is a genius mouth-breather, he doesn't care. He's still going to see her, he insists. They can't stop him! (Oh Brandon, you dope, your parents are two cops and a high school principal. They sure as hell can stop you, but you should probably stop yourself first instead of getting the girl you're crushing on sent to juvie just because you... Continue reading
Posted Jan 27, 2014 at Serial Drama
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So I'm pretty sure we were all just on the edge of our seats waiting for the "romantic" "Brallie" reunion tonight on The Fosters, right? If by "on the edge our seats" I probably mean sick to my stomach and super-annoyed that this seems to be the primary reason people watch the show if the PR department is to be believed. The number of "I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE BRANDON AND CALLIE TOGETHER AGAIN 2NITE!!!" tweets I saw today were just... chilling. At any rate, we started off nicely for the grownup viewers. Callie's behind bars again. We were all hoping for some Orange Is The New Black-esque jailhouse shenanigans, right? They have to understand their adult demographic, yes? Because I feel like it lines up. Jude is sad and is worried they no longer want to adopt Callie. FIX IT FOR JUDE, DON'T YOU DARE MAKE MY LITTLE JUDE SAD, JERKS! Brandon and his dopey droopy face confesses to sucking face with his foster sister. And he's all self-righteous about it, because apparently when teenagers are self-righteous about inappropriate relationships it increases viewership and couple fandom on ABC Family (y'all, I'm flying through Pretty Little Liars right now and... Continue reading
Posted Jan 20, 2014 at Serial Drama
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"I'm not going to be selfish anymore, okay? I promise." -- Callie, just before making sure a pair of newlyweds who just agreed to make her a part of their family wake up the morning after their wedding to a missing kid. Callie's got a real funny idea of "unselfish." Ugh. Welcome to coverage of The Fosters! I love this show, but I fully recognize that it occasionally overdoses on the schmaltz, so as it's a nighttime serial drama it seems the right fit for that Serial Drama balance of love and hate. But mostly love. Fortunately we do open with a little bit of wedding night afterglow between Stef and Lena. The ladies got more action in the first thirty seconds of the episode than in the entire first half of the season! So pretty. Annie Potts, aka Stef's mom, does not approve of the Fosters' plan to adopt Callie and Jude. Callie, who is currently on a cross-country trip with Wyatt (who I love and wish that we were meant to see him as a legitimate love interest for Callie, but I realize we're all supposed to be rooting for Callie and her foster/adoptive brother and also eww... Continue reading
Posted Jan 13, 2014 at Serial Drama