Jen - That's too funny (about a squeaky one!) I hear you about going to the island, I'd not thought of that... It's kind of appealing actually. Especially since it snowed last night. Again. Lady Jane - Thats the difference I think, remembering. And I think thats probably all it takes. The ability to look back and say, oh yeah. Right. I was there. And I agree about the hair. Ive seen lots of parents get very upset about the hair but really - exactly as you say. If not now, when?

Lyn, LOL, "Mom, you don't suck" would be lovely :) Jessica - I agree with you so much. And I think the ability to make their own decisions is even more important than I ever thought Trac

Christie and Suezette, In all the years I guess I never anticipated the 'letting go' thing. I wish I had a bit more. You know about it on an intellectual level but... Tracy

Yeah, all of this - So true. And I'm not much good at being Santa or the tooth fairy...or any of the mythical gift givers myself. Also my son told me he humored me loooooong after he knew the Santa thing was ya know... a story

Desiree, Theta and Lin - Thank you! Thank you so much. Tracy

Thanks M, I always thought it was the kids who had all the hard lessons to learn but I do believe I was mistaken T

That's it. Exactly... Its all so hard though. so hard! Tracy

Ladyjane - It was an approach he was not expecting and perhaps thats why it worked. I don't know. But really it was scary. And very real. Desiree - yes, me too :) Steph - I actually mentioned this to a few of his friends who were equally horrified. Its funny (or maybe not!) but this never occurred to any of them! Tracy

Blue - The amount was scary and to honest, that amount is low. I didn't even tell him that that amount was a minumum and didn't include the things he considers must haves like mp3 players...cable... internet... Tracy

Well, I've never heard that jersey girls wear flip flops in the snow but LOL, yeah I do! That's so true and I just did it. I have a son but I would have done the same thing as you. I wouldn't have scheduled weekly appts. because that isn't my life but I would have gone, like you for a fun outing. As to the birthdays, I dont know - when my son was 10 a friend had a birthday party at hooters, all the boys went to hooters in a limo. And they got hooters playing cards as a party favor. Maybe thats an NJ thing too... I thought that was pretty wild at the time. LOL...but I let him go. Tracy

An iTouch although it's probably pretty embarrassing to admit I don't own an mp3 player... Yeah, it is.

Cathy - Thank you so much! Every word you said means the world to me. I don't know if there is ever another good option - other than following your own dreams.

Kim, I just found it on Amazon and it's got some fantastic reviews there as well. I'm so going to read this book and thank you.. I did read Darryle's piece after she commented - and she's so right about it all. And also how hard it is for our kids to 'buck' what has been considered the norm - My son took all the courses he would need to go to college and the SAT's twice even after I pretty much knew he wasn't going just 'because'. And even than the guidance dept. was still wanting him to do more just in case. Even after I said - hes not going. And said, hes not going. And said, he's not going. And at that point he could have gone. His grades were good enough. His SAT's were fine, he could have gone but the guidance dept. couldnt get past the 'you have to do more' attitude. sad.

Kari, Jodifur I can't tell you how much these comments mean and not just to me but to my son. Every comment is something special to him... Thank you all for taking the time to say something. Thank you so very, very much! Tracy

Maxine, Thank you so much for those kind comments - my son really enjoyed reading them too :) Darryle - I'm not sure there is ever a perfect time to 'get it right' ...I wish I'd figured it out sooner too. I could have saved the two of us several years of angst. Off to check out your article... Lori - Lori - thank you so much for that encouragement!

Thanks for the comments Maureen, so true. About still not wanting to know what you want to be - I had to giggle. I feel that way a lot. I'll check out that book, too Tracy

Cristie, Hugs felt! Thank you so much for the comment, it is so much appreciated on a topic so close to my heart.

Grace, Thank you so much! I've often had the some of these same thoughts...

I really liked this and you're right about silliness and it being about boundaries. People should just be who they are ... and humor is just good for you.

I have to agree with you and laughed right away when you said why the cookbook author said teens (or children for that matter) would run to the table. I've often found it funny what cookbook authors think will bring kids to the table - in the way of recipes. They must have way more adventurous eaters than I did.

You know, I sort of just happened up on you - so hi, first. Second - I pretty much do the same thing but I was reading it and thinking...wow, I've said the same thing to people who asked and boy would that sound complicated to someone who's never done it. Funny thing, it's really not. It's more steps than opening a can - but definitely worth the trouble. And really not 'hard' ...as in hard like complex. And it's kind of meditative and soothing, in the doing. And in the eating, too! Does that make sense? Tracy (who is definitely a parsnips gal)

Oh this was great and tearing the sleeves was great - made a huge wow for me. And loved the sides of the white shirt too. This really was great. When I think of how much money I spent on garbage costumes for my son when he was small....man oh man....