After so many years, our elite investigative journalists have finally been able to uncover several of the original documents pertaining to the elaborate 9/11 conspiracy and related cover-up. In this first of our multipart and hopefully Pulitzer Prize winning story, we reveal a few of the original documents with only certain sections edited for security purposes. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Document 1a From The Office of the Pres***** Sept 1st, 2001 Oval Off*** G.W B*** Hey Y’all, We have finally come up with a plan that will let us just walk in and take all the free Iraqi oil we have been drooling... Continue reading

Like many of you, I have been hearing about the Global Worming threat for some time now. But, I found the idea so outlandish, I was sceptical. Could man made Global Worming really exist? And if so, what could we do to stop it? After doing a bit of internet research, I am afraid that I must report that yes, I now believe the Global Worming threat is real, and if something isn’t done about it, life as we know it will soon end. According to a report by noted Swedish Agriculture Scientist Dr. Sven Elaven, since the advent of... Continue reading

Welcome to DTI (Death To Infidels) the world’s premier Islamic Jihadist dating website, where fun loving jihadists like you can find the perfect partner to join you in your lifelong struggle against the crusader infidels. Feel free to browse our listings in comfort, knowing that all communications between men and women on the site are closely monitored by our online chaperones to assure no inappropriate and unauthorized contact between single men and women occurs. We have hundreds of success stories and are proud to be able to say that not a single woman has been publicly stoned, buried alive, or... Continue reading

Ya know, I was like watchin this really cool show about global warming and I was like thinkin how we might like be able to solve it real easy. So I got myself like totally high so I could like focus all my thinkin on it like all at once, and guess what, yeah, I solved it all and it was like wow so simple. It think if like everybody decided all at once to like go in the house and make like shitloads of ice in the fridge, then like at noon on Tuesdays, they all just took em... Continue reading

Founded in 1997 by world renowned bug lover and scientist Dr. Cornelius Cragmite, the I.R.M. (Insect Rights Movement) supports a world where bugs have equal rights under the law. He implores members to find others who will help to stop the senseless slaughter of our insect friends. Do you realize that even as you are reading this article, countless millions of bugs will meet their untimely end in all manner of horrific deaths. In fact, recent government funded research suggests that up to 1 million bugs are callously executed every minute of every day. Stomped to death, squished, squashed, pulverized,... Continue reading

Written By Terence Cardwell <terrycar@iinet.net.au> The Editor The Morning Bulletin. I have sat by for a number of years frustrated at the rubbish being put forth about carbon dioxide emissions, thermal coal fired power stations and renewable energy and the ridiculous Emissions Trading Scheme. Frustration at the lies told (particularly during the election) about global pollution. Using Power Station cooling towers for an example. The condensation coming from those cooling towers is as pure as that that comes out of any kettle. Frustration about the so called incorrectly named man made 'carbon emissions' which of course is Carbon Dioxide emissions... Continue reading

Solutions Inc in partnership with SurvivorJunkies Inc and Better Homes, Gardens and Survival Camps Magazine are proud to be the exclusive distributors for the all new RAMBO Survival Phone. Whether you are just lost in the wilderness, or the lone survivor of a horrific zombie attack and the end of civilization as we know it, you simply must have one of these survival phones. And of course, it includes a fully functional Nokia 6500 mobile phone. Just think of it, if you happen to be stranded close enough to a cell phone tower somewhere, and your batteries haven’t run out... Continue reading

As we all know, today Angus beef is everywhere, on fast food menus, in restraunts, and at your local supermarket. We decided to put it to the test using the scientist researchers here at the consumer research arm of Solutions Inc. Our scientists went out and obtained Angus beef samples from several various locations and then we sent the samples to B.A.G.D.A.D. (Big Animal Genetic Diagnosis and Determination labs). The results, as usual for this blog were quite mind boggling. RESULT-> RESULT-> RESULT-> RESULT-> RESULT-> RESULT-> RESULT-> Continue reading

According to a recent report by the Tattoo Artists Trade Union (TAT-U) there is a disturbing new trend developing in teenagers today. Over the past few years, tattoo sales have plummeted as more and more teenagers are jumping on the no tattoo bandwagon. Tattooed scientists are baffled by the new trend. Not since the Papangu tribe of New Guinea ran out of native berries to grind up and ink into their skin has the tattoo industry seen such a rapid decline. Even the media is reacting quickly to this new trend with many planned cable shows such as Des Moines... Continue reading

Everybody has been asking us, where is Tiger? Ever since his incredible marathon of sex romps, trysts, affairs, and one nighters hit the presses, Tiger has been laying low. Well, you can run but you can't hide from the ever watchful eyes of our faithful horde of WBSN investigative reporters. In this report, we give you many exclusive shots of Tiger in hiding that you just won't see on the major news networks, we have scooped them all! Continue reading

The U.K. International Internet Lottery and the Royal Crown Bank of LAGOS, Nigeria are proud to bring you the all new and exciting Celebrity Death Lottery. Due to the recent spate of celebrity deaths and the ensuing media popularity, why not let yourself cash in on the action? It’s fun and easy. You can play it from the comfort of your home or even while driving in your car. Either login to their website at hrip://celebritydeathbucks.com or you can play via SMS from your mobile phone by sending your msg to 1-900-555-DEAD. Just send in your choice for the next... Continue reading

Saw this one online and just had to pass it along. If you're not sick enough of seeing Tiger Woods related clips and stories, you will be soon, I promise to do my best to sicken you to the best of my abilities. Continue reading

Sure, I bet you thought by now it would be over, with no more surprises coming, but, it isn't over yet! Just today an astonishing new number of Tiger's ex lovers came forward to claim their piece of the fame pie. There seems to be no end to em, is this guy some kind of a machine or what? First up, we have Bitsy McCullough, a plus size bikini model from Palm Springs, she was working at the charity golf cart wash outside the Palm Springs country club on tourney weekend when she approached by the love machine himself.. According... Continue reading

This just in to our WBSN news desk, Nike has reached a multi-trillion dollar marketing sponsorship deal with Tiger Woods. According to our psychic medium investigative journalist I.C. Sumtin, has foreseen this deal will be inked sometime tomorrow afternoon between the sports behemoth and Wilt Chamberlain protégé Tiger. Nike plans to rework their aging motto to fit into today’s new sports culture. Don’t worry, we have managed to get our hands on some secret promotional photos so you can be among the first to be in the know. Continue reading

Now I know you have probably heard a lot of the vicious rumors and gossip about Tiger lately, but, let me be the first to tell you they just aren't true. This new photo from WBSN a trusted source of celebrity news, shows the happy couple still happy in their first post accident photo. As far as I am concerned, Rachel Uchitel, Kalika Moquin and Jaimee Grubbs can just join the rest of the money grubbing, publicity seeking, mattress back, immoral bimbo squad and hop on the next bimbo express leaving on track 9. Continue reading

Are you one of the millions of facebook users worried about your computer, worried that your facebook account might be trashed by a horde of stampeding internet worms? Worry No More!! Introducing the brand new and exciting Worm Terminator 9000 from your friends at Solutions Inc, in a partnership with the Internet Pest Control Division (IPCD) of Ronco. Let us ease your mind, you can rest easy and compute effortlessly while the Worm Terminator guards your computer and you from infection whenever you use your computer. Using advanced technology developed by NASA at Area 51, the Worm Terminator 9000 comes... Continue reading

After 8 seasons, Adrian Monk is calling it quits in the series finale next week on USA network. Fortunately, there is rumored to be a replacement series in the works. This new series, called "Bunk", is set to start Michael Richards of Seinfeld fame as bumbling detective Aryan Bunk. He will play a consultant to the L.A. police department helping to solve murder cases in the notorious area of South Central L.A. Joining him will be his loyal assistant/psych nurse Shaniqua played by the loveable Whoopi Goldberg. Get ready to laugh your guts out as the pair face all manner... Continue reading

There has been a lot of talk about Troglodytes on the web and elsewhere lately. In fact, I was shocked when I saw it was in the top 10 list of Google Trends. So, I decided to look into the topic and found that the most common definition of a troglodyte is 'a member of any various peoples who lived or were reputed to live in caves'. Well, since the consensus seems to indicate that Osama Bin Laden and his merry band of Al Qaida terrorists are hiding out in caves on the Afghanistan and Pakistan border, I guess by... Continue reading

This late breaking story has just crossed the SBM news desk, thankfully our head reported was woken up by all the beeping and was able to get this story right out to our readers. It seems that 17yr old Tommy "fingers" Murdock of Bubbling Springs, Arkansas came to school heavily armed and took his entire 8th grade class hostage at Buckwheat Memorial Middle School in Bubbling Springs. He refused to speak to hostage negotiators unless they communicated with him via SMS text messages on his cell. We have managed to get an exclusive on this, paying $50 to an unnamed... Continue reading

A plan to privatise speed cameras in WA is in the works and many are worried that profiteering will take the place of concerns over road safety. That comes as no surprise to me, where can I sign up? where can I get myself one of these cash generating machines? As far as I am concerned (as stated in a previous post here) speed cameras have nothing to do with road safey and merely act as cash machines for the state government. If they were used reasonably, and if they were set to ticket "real" speeders who are driving far... Continue reading

Finally, the long wait is over, the premiere of the latest sequel in the Twilight saga is just around the corner. Twilight New Mooning has it all! adventure, romance, drama and most of all, loads and loads of cool new vampires to delight you with their cavorting and cartwheeling around the screen. Fortunately, I was lucky enough to attend a sneak preview and WOW! what a story.. I don't want to give to much away but, let's just say that Bella, Edward, Charles and the rest of the crazy Twilight gang have big problems on their hands when a super... Continue reading

If you're anything like me, nothing is worse than unsightly pet droppings which appear at the most inopportune times. An afternoon of cleaning up after your pet, or "pet logging" as I call it is no fun for anyone. Not only are these fecal logs an eyesore, they can also pose a health or choking hazard for small children roaming the effected areas. Well, no need to put up with this sh*t any longer! Your friends here at Solutions Inc in partnership with Prevent-A-Dump home pet products have teamed up to bring you the all new and exciting Plug-A-Pet range... Continue reading

As we all now know, the world is scheduled to end on December 21st, 2012, so, you might want to consider shopping now to pick up any last minute items before time runs out. There are only 1,137 shopping days left. Don't wait til the last minute when the stores are closing on December 20th, get your orders in early! Whether it be end of the world supplies like flashlights, batteries, tents and camping equipment, or end of the world party supplies, Solutions Inc has everything you need and more! Please note, due to recent developments, we have decided to... Continue reading

Here something that you might want to read it was on the news and as well all know, the news doesn’t lie!! Subject: FW: PLEEEEEASE PRETTY PLEASE READ THIS!!!! It was on the news! Dear friends, I bet you’re probably thinking, ‘oh, this must be another one of those totally bullshit money making emails’, but no, trust me, this is real beyond your wildest dreams. First, let me assure you, I am a real, genuine and bona fide attorney and when I say AOL and Intel will follow through on their promises, I am not kidding. They know full well,... Continue reading