This is Tom-Ass's Typepad Profile.
Join Typepad and start following Tom-Ass's activity
Join Now!
Already a member? Sign In
Tom-Ass
Nashville, TN
Miami by birth, Dolphins by choice
Interests: There is only one perfect team (Dolphins), one winingest NFL coach (Shula), and only one right arm of god (Marino).
Recent Activity
Yes, exactly. McFuck that guy. And by "guy" I mean androgynous lady boy who escaped Thailand at an early age to lead a life of confusion and doucheynous.
1 reply
Multiple rails of bath salts tend to do that to a fella. FINZ UP BIOTCHES!!1!
1 reply
King Douche last weekend: http://extramustard.si.com/2013/05/06/tom-brady-wins-25000-at-kentucky-derby/
1 reply
Some love for our UDFA haul: http://www.nfl.com/news/story/0ap1000000165827/article/matt-scott-darick-rogers-among-key-undrafted-free-agents
1 reply
And you're still here because???
1 reply
JUST SAY NO TO SAME OLD ORANGE CARPET SHIT STAIN SMELL FROM OUR RECENT PAST!!1!
1 reply
ASSUMING we get a veteran LT or RT, I am mildly pleased with our draft haul. Caleb Sturgis can (should) spell the end of Dan "Kid Rock" Carpenter, who has been anything but DC$ lately. Same goes for Mike Gillislee, who beats the shit out of Daniel "Concussion/Fumble/Vagina" Thomas as the change of pace / power tailback. And now, let's get to know the UDFAs: http://www.nationalfootballpost.com/Getting-to-know-your-signed-UDFAs.html
1 reply
Fins took some Sea-alis, so fins are way up!
1 reply
Everyone bitching on twitter about Fins having stale dog shit for DBs needs to remember that with 2 effective pass-rushing DEs in a 4-3 alignment (like current Giants or 97-03 Fins) that you can trot JB Brown & Tim McKyer out there as starting CBs and still get some gaudy PD & INT stats. As for our LT position, Ireland is putting the Chief's balls in a vice (not answering their phone calls), which is making me feel a tiny bit proud. There's still time for him to fuck up, but so far he's showing he's learned from many years of mistakes. (I feel dirty for typing that...and am losing respect for myself)
1 reply
1) Get JT99 on the phone - I want him down here to mentor Jordan ASAP. 2) Scoot Odrick inside on 3rd downs. 3) Either Starks gets his scurvy ass in here to sign a cap-friendly long term deal or his ass gets put on eBay pronto. 4) KC either accepts a 3rd in 2013 & conditional 2014 mid-round pick or they can go fuck themselves as we sign LT McKinnie or RT Winston as a 1-year stop gap.
1 reply
Yes Brodacious....Ireland's testicles have finally descended... http://t.co/BdV8RQ3Q9O
1 reply
Amen to that Brodacious. If the Miami Rainbow Pride Whales with the Whale / Dolphins hybrid sea creature logo win, nobody gives a fuck about their attire.
1 reply
Yes, at least we don't have the Jaguars shitty two-toned helmets that look like some 12 year old spray painted it with Rust-Oleum or Krylon.
1 reply
+1 though I must confess orange (reddish) trim is fun. "Fire in the hole!" (what we yelled in Army before detonating explosives)
1 reply
Overall, I give them a "meh" While they are "clean," and not atrocious like the Whale/Dolphin hybrid sea creature logo, they are lacking a 3rd color (orange) in the trim. When you think of our original team colors, they are "Aqua & Orange," so I don't get the "vanilla" look they went with here. If what Mike Dee & Ross said is true, that they wanted to incorporate our original color scheme, why the hell didn't they put a bolder orange shadow on the numbers like these badass throwbacks: http://t.co/Imqz2cr0Yv
1 reply
Post some new shit or get some writers who will. [hint-hint]
1 reply
*tap-tap-tap* Is this thing on? Keller's cute & all, but post some tits for god's sake. Takes like 10 seconds. #kthxbye
1 reply
Marlins? They are dead to me until Loria sells. I think Ben Volin confirmed no orange alternate threads. White pants always with either white or aqua tops. That's it. The last time the team wore their orange jerseys we had the 2010 FN Tailgate. Draw your own conclusions.
1 reply
As a franchise, seems like we can't do anything right. http://t.co/BzYrM8Qlrm Jesus...
1 reply
If Jason Taylor & The Rock had a Love Child, it's name is Dustin Keller.
1 reply
Now that Jake Long is off the team, Joe Philbin has a message for the team: http://t.co/pdQYsIGws9
1 reply
+1 for "Rick Astley doppelgänger"
1 reply
There is yet another, more defined looking logo making the rounds this morning. Coloring is different than the first leak (navy underside), more pronounced sunburst flare & the animal has eyes. Still has a whale's tail, which sucks. pic.twitter.com/ONyeNxjPUm
1 reply
Despite this, it's fun to read about how butt-hurt Wes Welker and Robert Kraft are. Both pointing fingers and blaming the other. Patriot tears taste like rainbows.
1 reply