I think what you know is that the act of giving birth is different than what follows in being a mother. Without wanting to diminish the importance of the actual birth, clearly how you give birth does not reflect on whether you're a good mother or not. I found that with Lucie's birth, I knew more of the questions to ask and felt much more empowered than I did with Gabriel's - where I accepted what I was 'told'. There didn't seem to be many choices for the first birth and I trusted my doctors to make my decisions. I'm sure they were good decisions but once I talked about other options with my gynéco and sage femme for #2 they were open to those too. And of course after Lucie's birth I've since found out even more things that I could have asked for. I would have to have baby number 3 to request more changes for the moments after the baby's birth and their immediate treatment. But I don't think number 3 is on the cards! Your baby girl will be beautiful and you will be a great mum again. I'm almost jealous of you getting those precious first days together with a new baby (and then I remember how tired I am, ha ha!).

Oh sweetheart, I'm so sorry that Max's birth experience was so awful for you. It sounds like you have doctors who are going to take the best care of you now. I had different experiences with my 2 (The epidural I had with Gabriel was put in at full strength meaning I panicked because I couldn't control or feel a thing!)but I think with the second baby we become much clearer about what we want and *need*. And of course the best girls are born on 1st Dec ;)