This is Claire Gutschow's Typepad Profile.
Join Typepad and start following Claire Gutschow's activity
Join Now!
Already a member? Sign In
Claire Gutschow
Recent Activity
Image
I just realized that its been over 6 months since I last wrote a post. I wish I could give you a valid, rational, justified reason for my uselessness. But let's be honest, very little of what I do these days is valid, rational or justified. That's what happens when you hang out all day with three-year-olds. And just to clarify, the cursing at the idiot driver in the school parking lot this morning was totally valid and justified and rational - the lives of children were hanging in the balance. And my coffee almost spilled which is tantamount to... Continue reading
Posted Apr 12, 2013 at Multitaskular
Image
So you know all about our teeth-pullingly, excruciatingly slow house search? We saw bats, squatters, donkeys, flood zones, fire damage and, of course, rabbit hutches. Oh, and don't forget the Catholic cult house, complete with glass-walled bedrooms (for innocent Catholic viewing pleasure, of course), and a 10ft Jesus on the cross inlayed on the hallway floor. Here's my question... is there a person that specializes in creating marble inlays of Jesus, complete with all the blood and dragging intestines? And if so, are they as dark and weird as I'd expect? This is just screaming for a documentary. Just saying.... Continue reading
Posted Sep 6, 2012 at Multitaskular
Image
Are you sitting down? After renting for years and years, we have finally decided to buy a house. And, phewmungus, its stressful! Not just because we're selling our souls to a mortgage company (we haven't got much left anyway after the credit card companies took their share). But mainly because we're no longer going to be the carefree gypsies we've always been. Okay, I must be honest. I'm about as far from a gypsy as you can get. I hate small, enclosed spaces, I detest billowing floral skirts and I'm about as carefree as, well, Mr Obama himself. But I... Continue reading
Posted Jun 12, 2012 at Multitaskular
Thanks so much Mammakaze. I hear you 100%!
Image
I'm a career girl at heart. There I said it, phew. I tried to do the full-time mom thing, I really did. I immersed myself in the beauty of my newborn baby. I snuggled, swaddled, nursed and cooed. All the stuff that's supposed to come naturally to women. And it lasted exactly 3 months. THREE MONTHS. I know that seems like a really short time, but to me it was a frickin' eternity (granted, I was awake for most of it). Of course I loved Micah. Desperately. But I craved mental stimulation - I'd had a career for so long,... Continue reading
Posted Apr 5, 2012 at Multitaskular
Image
I should start this post by explaining that I just finished reading the most brilliant book, The Fault in Our Stars by John Green. For those that haven't read it, it's all about young love and teenagers that die too soon and broken-hearted parents who lose their lovestruck kids to cancer. And there's some great poetry thrown in too, just for good measure. Which sounds kinda sad and sucky. Except its not because the characters are totally kick-ass and smart and sarky. Kinda like Juno, but more hugable. Basically the kind of kids I dream my son will be one... Continue reading
Posted Feb 22, 2012 at Multitaskular
Image
So here's the thing. I made a conscious decision years ago never to talk about anything contentious in my blog. Not because I don't have opinions abut these things. Ohhhhhhhh no, believe me I do. But because I try to avoid right-wing nut-jobs as much as possible. And (for reasons I still can't get my head around), nothing unearths the nut-jobs quite like an opinionated liberal mommy blogger. And since I spent the first 18 years of my life surrounded by angry right-wingers in apartheid South Africa, I try my damnedest to avoid them these days. So that's meant I've... Continue reading
Posted Feb 8, 2012 at Multitaskular
I survived halloween. Just. I'm so over the stores screaming about it, my sugared-up 2-year-old whining about it and my neighbor's creepy lawn-zombies moaning about it until all hours. I thought the neighbors were getting "down and dirty" the first time I heard the noise from over their fence. They're originally from the midwest (the neighbors, not the zombies) and they go to church and they can tell the difference between skunky smells and horse manure. And Kelly drives a pick up truck with a picture of tinkerbell holding a hunting rifle on the back. So the next morning I... Continue reading
Posted Nov 1, 2011 at Multitaskular
Image
I'm pretty busy. I think that's the topic for every freaking post I write and I'm so bored by the whole thing, wah wah wah. As my mom would say, "I'm flogging a dead horse". Which is an old English saying meaning I should change the subject already (mental note... never use that saying ever again. It's awful). The long and the short of it is that I'm tired of being tired. I'm tired of talking about being tired. And I'm tired of wishing I wasn't tired. So I'm on a quest to simplify my life. And the first step... Continue reading
Posted Sep 22, 2011 at Multitaskular
Image
I'm the queen of multitasking. Okay, maybe not the queen. But definitely a princess. In a cool Kate Middleton kind of way. Except I'm not as pretty as Kate. So I guess that makes me more like Beatrice and Eugenie (eeew... cold shiver)! I live my life in complete and utter chaos. My house is a mess, I can't cook and I haven't ironed anything in 9 months. But I do juggle my own business, I'm a full-time mom and I have 2 dogs (one of which is an arthritic basset hound which is more work than a kid any... Continue reading
Posted Aug 10, 2011 at Multitaskular
Image
Sorry about the recent blog silence, but I have been a way for a few weeks. I went back to South Africa to visit the children's homes my company supports, and to find a few more organizations to help. And what a worthwhile trip it was. As always, I arrived with a clear list of "business" objectives (ever practical me... can anyone say OCD?): Check on the children in the homes we already support Deliver copies of my book and educational donations to the homes ($5 from every Fei'd purchase is used to buy items for the kids) Meet with... Continue reading
Posted Jun 24, 2011 at Multitaskular
Image
It's been a crazy-busy few weeks. For a start, Micah turned 2. Which was great. Really. Except that I scheduled his party for mothers day. Which was pretty dumb-ass on my part. But to be fair, I have very low expectations for days in which I'm the "person of honor". So I tend to lose track of when they are. Let's just say it's best that I pretend it's just a regular day and then get pleasantly surprised when the dishes get done. So anyway, that's why I dumb-assedly scheduled his party for mothers day. And my awesome friends came,... Continue reading
Posted May 17, 2011 at Multitaskular
Image
I know my last post was all about gratitude. And I know it's freaking boring to do another one with the same theme. But I figure since I usually spend such a disportionate amount of time bitching and moaning, I should take full advantage of my current good-cheer. So this post is a big thank you to my fellow-bloggers, Andrea and Kim. Although to be honest, I'm a little loathe to bundle all of us in the same category. I'm so far below them in the blogger leagues, it's embarassing. Kind of like me comparing myself to Lady Gaga. Yes... Continue reading
Posted Apr 15, 2011 at Multitaskular
Image
I have been writing this post for what feels like hours. And no matter how hard I tried, it sounded cheesy. Saccharine. Gushy. Because I've been trying to explain how grateful I feel. Grateful because my first skin care product has finally launched. Grateful that I managed to get to this point without killing myself with some kind of self-induced stress disorder. Grateful that I haven't killed anyone else either for that matter. And grateful that my son seems none the worse for wear considering how sleep-deprived I've been. Unless you count his recent toddler crime spree, but I'm ignoring... Continue reading
Posted Apr 5, 2011 at Multitaskular
Thanks so much Diana!
Toggle Commented Mar 21, 2011 on I've spawned a dictator at Multitaskular
Image
In one of my older posts, I was worried that my son would turn into some kind of drug dealing super-spy. He'd stolen all my shoes, hidden half of them in a thorn bush and to this day, the other half have yet to be returned to me. So as much as I was glad for the opportunity to go on a shoe replacement shopping spree, I was also genuinely worried that this would mark the beginning of Micah's criminal career. And it turns out that it did. Since then he has flushed our Christmas ornaments down the toilet, stolen... Continue reading
Posted Mar 18, 2011 at Multitaskular
Image
So I've been using this accountant called Gene for the past few years who is a real laugh. I heard about him through a friend and since he lives about an hour away, I first started working with him over the phone. And... yes, his voice did sound a little old, but hey. I thought maybe he just smoked too much. I mean he seemed to know what he was talking about. Although to be honest, I'm so clueless when it comes to tax, Sarah Palin could probably bullshit me if she really tried. Okay, maybe not. I refudiate that.... Continue reading
Posted Feb 23, 2011 at Multitaskular
Image
I had my latest post all planned out in my head. All neat and organized. Comfortable. But I found a website today (thanks Dooce) that shocked me beyond... beyond what? Hard to say. But beyond comfortable, that's for sure. It tells Julie's story. Mostly in pictures. Without judgement and analysis. Without answers. Just tells it like it is. With love. Tells it so beautifully that I'm sobbing. Sobbing for Julie. And for the millions of other abused kids out there. Kids who grow up believing they're not worthy. Not worthy of love and kindness and respect. And who ultimately get... Continue reading
Posted Feb 7, 2011 at Multitaskular
Glad I'm not the only crazy one. And I dont trust doctors one bit. Whenever I take micah to one, we end up sitting for 45 min in the waiting room with 25 other sick kids snotting and vomiting all over the place. Then we get to the doctor and she just tells us to let nature take its course. And I pay her for that "nugget" of wisdom? Hmm... So then we go home and I get sick too. Which categorically proves my theory - doctors make you sicker.
Image
I don't believe in new years resolutions. The way I see it, why would I want to start the year reviewing a list of things I hate about myself? And then spend the next few months beating myself up for not turning into Martha most-perfect Stewart. So as a result, right now I'm actually feeling really happy. I'm happy that I haven't let myself down. Happy that the holiday season is over. Happy that the sun is shining. And happy that my son's trembly, snotty, coughy, spluttery, fevery bronchitis is almost forgotten. Well to clarify, he's almost forgotten about it.... Continue reading
Posted Feb 1, 2011 at Multitaskular
Mother of Darkness, I love it! Im like that permanently so dont feel bad. I remember when I was a kid, wondering why my mom was always so grumpy. Now I know why! Have fun over Christmas - build a snowman for us.
Toggle Commented Dec 7, 2010 on Bah! Eggnog! at Multitaskular
Image
Okay, I'm just going to come out and say it. I freaking loathe Christmas. As a kid I loved it, I mean who didn't? You got off school, you ate good food, you were given cool gifts and all you had to do in return is make your parents something cute out of a shoebox, an egg carton and some part of a toilet roll. But what's to love now? Work piles up regardless, you have to cook the food, you have to buy the gifts, you have to wrap the gifts. You have to entertain family members that believe... Continue reading
Posted Dec 6, 2010 at Multitaskular
So the launch of our first skin care product has been pushed out. There were formulation complications that were out of my control and I'm frustrated beyond words. Like teeth-clenching, curse-wording, heel-stomping frustrated. I feel like I did while I was pregnant - working towards the "due date" for months and months and then having to wait an extra 2 weeks because my son wasn't ready to be born yet! So in an attempt to deal with my life's latest curve ball, I'm looking for inspiration. And my friend Bruce provided it. Check out this awesome video he found. Doesn't... Continue reading
Posted Dec 3, 2010 at Multitaskular
Cleaned the sheets my son had wet through, Mopped the milk he so thoughtfully threw. Let out the dog that was whining so loud, Swept up the trash she went out and chowed. Scrubbed the carpet when she then got diarrhea, Chased the baby when he got far too near. Rushed out to clean more dog poop outside, Diarrhea all over, I could have died. Baby then threw mac & cheese in my face. Of course I ate it, why waste? He then he peed on the couch just before tea, Then peed again on the floor, making sure I... Continue reading
Posted Nov 18, 2010 at Multitaskular
Okay, I know I'm a sucky blogger - I haven't written anything in over a month. But our new skin care product launches in a few weeks and there just haven't been enough hours in the day. What with launching the business and Micah teething for weeks and weeks and me never sleeping... ever. And Halloween. And Uwe running off to do tai chi (while Micah throws a tantrum). And then Uwe running off again to meditate, accompanied by, yes you guessed it, yet another tantrum: sometimes mine, sometimes Micah's. I gotta say, it totally sucks when you're so wired... Continue reading
Posted Nov 12, 2010 at Multitaskular