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(*sigh* I know I shouldn't even bother, but since it is Zombie Savior Day and I'm a heathen with lots of time to kill...) CNYC wrote, > * When a guy can't get a girl he wants they have only a few choices : > Be Alone > Settle for something you aren't happy with > Purchase what you need ( illegal/expensive) > Be Gay - Have a large community of friends to support you and live a somewhat normal lifestyle. ...Whaaaaaaaaaa-a-at? If I'm understanding you correctly, your contention is that all male homosexuality occurs when a man is rejected by the girl (or girls?) he desires (or perhaps he simply doesn't believe he has a chance, is that sufficient?), and then resorts to seeking gratification in the company of other men, which you acknowledge represents a slightly less unhealthy fate than the only other alternatives open to him, which would be either a lifetime spent alone and devoid of intimacy, or being forced to pay for the services of a professional each and every time he sought release? Please, let me know if I got any of that wrong — I know enough to get by most of the time, but really I'm not all that fluent in crazy. And in the 70's and 80's, it was still common for most gay men to have made at least some attempts at pursuing girls, or at least pretending to, only reaching a point in life later on, sometimes much later, where they felt ready to come out as gay and turn to pursuing male relationships instead. That probably explains why you'd view gay men in period as having been "more honest with themselves", since they would have started out living "straight" lives, even marrying and having children, prior to coming out. That eventual coming out would then be, what, a smokescreen? Sure, a deflection necessary to hide an even more shameful truth: they'd proved too unmanly to hold on to their girlfriends or wives, and following the collapse of their heterosexual identity had become so despondent that they were choosing to abandon any hope of womanly love, choosing to instead derive whatever comfort they could find from same-sex intimacy amongst other failed men like themselves. Whereas, in contrast, younger gay men like myself, who never felt pressured to attempt or pretend at heterosexual conformity, and therefore never pursued women prior to our coming out and choosing to seek relationships only with other men... we're, what, lying when we say that we've always been gay? We're in denial, perhaps, about whatever early female infatuations we harbored that ultimately proved so hopeless, we simply gave up on them without even trying? Is that the manner in which we "complicate our lives for no reason at all"? If your concept of homosexuality truly bears even the slightest resemblance to that nonsense, I pity you. Some misogynistic theory about women rejecting men into gayness would have been out of touch during much of the 20th Century, never mind how completely barking mad it sounds here in the 21st. What you imagine homosexuality to be, better resembles the premise for a mildly terrible 1950's sci-fi B-movie. Oh, and please be aware: Just as we don't really get to describe ourselves using terms like "beautiful", "gorgeous", "believable", "valuable", "irresistible", "impressive", and copious others — determinations better made by OTHER people, with at least a small measure of objectivity — by the same token, we don't really get to declare ourselves "gay-friendly". That's for other people to decide, based on our actions towards gay people. Believing you have a tolerant or supportive view of the gay community, while actually viewing it as some sort of admirably-cheerful support group, which provides emasculated men with much-needed refuge and solace after they've watched their every last hope of succeess at having a heterosexual lifestyle crumble into dust, is NOT what most people would describe as being "gay-friendly". They'd also be likely to avoid terms like "healthy", "reasonable", "enlightened", or "sanity-adjacent", for that matter.
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Jan 31, 2011