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DC Culinarian

Washington, DC

Federal foodie.

Recent Activity

If there is a God, and that God endows living things with a purpose, and I happen to be one of those living things to which a purpose has been endowed, then I'm comfortable asserting that that purpose is the roasting of chickens. Julia Child is said to have remarked... Continue reading

Posted 3 days ago at DC Culinarian

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Cinco de Mayo and Cócteles Donaji

Really we have no business celebrating Cinco de Mayo. You know where Cinco de Mayo isn't celebrated? Mexico. At least, not outside the state of Puebla, where it commemorates a great military victory the people of Puebla won over the French, which... way to go, guys. You beat the French.... Continue reading

Posted May 3, 2013 at DC Culinarian

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If you'll recall, last month I drew upon the twin energies of Home Depot and rank blasphemy to put together some raised bed gardens. Seeds were planted, a few weeks have passed, and yesterday Canine Culinarian and I went out with the ol' telephoto zoom lens to take some macro... Continue reading

Posted Apr 19, 2013 at DC Culinarian

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Leek-Gruyère Galette

Welcome to spring in DC, that blessed fortnight or so in which the temperatures are mild, the mosquitos are still dormant, and this place briefly becomes fit for human habitation. Not long ago it was gray, windy, and the temperatures were stuck in the 40s. Before long the humidity will... Continue reading

Posted Apr 17, 2013 at DC Culinarian

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A Parade Of Horrors In Boston

This past weekend, Mrs. Culinarian and I ventured north to Boston to meet our new baby nephew and watch him get good and baptized. It was a lovely affair, and my nephew is cuter than yours so don't even start with that. After watching the little fellow get the holy... Continue reading

Posted Apr 8, 2013 at DC Culinarian

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Jesus was a carpenter. It's one of the many ways he and I differ. As far as persons to emulate go, one could certainly do worse. But water-to-wine remains impracticable and the only lepers I know are social ones, so carpentry will have to do. What I have put together... Continue reading

Posted Mar 28, 2013 at DC Culinarian

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Solving For (Pizza) Pi

I absolutely destroyed a pizza a few weeks ago as I was sliding it into the oven. Inadequate flouring of the peel meant that one tiny little spot near the center of the pie adhered tenaciously to the wood, and the damn thing tore and folded over as it flopped... Continue reading

Posted Mar 14, 2013 at DC Culinarian

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COUNTERPOINT: In Defense Of Fancy-Pants Ice

This is a rebuttal to Wednesday's broadside against the proliferation of "artisanal ice" in DC's cocktail scene, written by Todd Gregory, whom you should follow on the Twitter machine. Look, the “artisanal” thing is grating. I get it. It conjures images of mustachioed, unicycle-riding Brooklynites huffing about which pickle shop... Continue reading

Posted Feb 23, 2013 at DC Culinarian

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Rot In Hell With Your "Artisanal Ice"

Ice. Frozen water. Now made artisanally and currently cooling drinks in the DC area. Ambrose, a bartender at P.O.V. Lounge at downtown’s W Hotel, founded Favourite Ice last year with Range beverage director Owen Thomson. Marindin, another bartender at Range, handles most of the ice cutting. Favourite Ice is the... Continue reading

Posted Feb 20, 2013 at DC Culinarian

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None of this makes sense. I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing. All that's certain is that right now, in my downstairs closet, next to my wife's wedding dress and just below the breaker box, there's a large glass urn containing 18 lemons in a pendulous cheesecloth hammock suspended... Continue reading

Posted Feb 19, 2013 at DC Culinarian

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How To Pour Burning Liquid Fire Over A Roasted Chicken

There's no great secret to impressive cookery. Like most other areas of life, it's just a series of opportunities waiting to be seized. For example: when the opportunity to pour burning liquid fire over a roasted chicken presents itself, let me tell you Hoss, you seize it. Like I said... Continue reading

Posted Feb 8, 2013 at DC Culinarian

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Meat Week Barbecue Food Truck Face-Off

Meat Week is always a little difficult to handle. Seven days of barbecue is an idea that has no flaws except in practice. It's a lot of barbecue over not a lot of time. The proper way to approach Meat Week is to pick your moment, and then go hog... Continue reading

Posted Feb 5, 2013 at DC Culinarian

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Chorizo And Chicken Paella

It feels odd that Spain does not loom larger in the American consciousness. We dream of Italy, make fun of France, babble like idiots over the Windsors, and still call the Germans Nazis. But Spain? Nothing. It doesn't really make sense. Spain once lorded over pretty much all of the... Continue reading

Posted Jan 30, 2013 at DC Culinarian

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Why in the hell would I know how to make a braid? This question rattled about my head as I stared down at three rolled out strands of lightly sweet, cardamom spiced bread dough that, up to that point, I had just assumed would end up braided, somehow. It was... Continue reading

Posted Jan 3, 2013 at DC Culinarian

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Caramelized Pear-Ginger Tart

So as I was making this tart last week, I tweeted out a rather striking photo of the pears just after they'd finished caramelizing. Strikingness of the photo aside, this was a thoroughly mundane event. However, this being the internet, my innocent dissemination of a photo of pears elicited a... Continue reading

Posted Dec 10, 2012 at DC Culinarian

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Miso-Glazed Sablefish

In my college years I was a fishmonger. My summers were spent behind the counter in a cramped, semi-dilapidated market in Greenwich, Connecticut called Fjord Fisheries, which (in spite of its ramshackle appearance) sold the highest quality seafood for miles around. Slinging fish puts you through the paces: early hours,... Continue reading

Posted Nov 29, 2012 at DC Culinarian

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Almond-Orange Cake

The newly announced bankruptcy of Hostess Brands Inc. has left me conflicted. On the one hand, Twinkies and Snowballs and many of the other creme-filled "snack cake" offerings Hostess churned out were objectively terrible and their disappearance from convenience store wire racks is an unalloyed good. On the other hand,... Continue reading

Posted Nov 17, 2012 at DC Culinarian

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There is a certain smell to Japanese cooking. Anyone who's been in a Japanese restaurant knows it -- a sort of briny, savory, almost woody odor that is inescapable. It is the smell of dashi, a stock made from dried fish flakes and kombu seaweed, and its scent is so... Continue reading

Posted Nov 15, 2012 at DC Culinarian

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The end of the election season has returned to me the life I once led. That life wasn't really anything special, but easing back into it now feels like a luxury. It seems as though my cup of free time runneth over. And I sleep. I sleep well. I'd forgotten... Continue reading

Posted Nov 9, 2012 at DC Culinarian

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Curry, Gnocchi, And The Passage Of Time

Mrs. Culinarian and I drove north this weekend to Connecticut for Mama Culinarian's 60th birthday. My younger brother Owen and sister-in-law (expecting their first child shortly) came south from Boston. My older brother John, having moved to Melbourne earlier in the year for school, stayed in Melbourne, for which he... Continue reading

Posted Oct 16, 2012 at DC Culinarian

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This is the perfunctory acknowledgement that posting's been light the past few weeks. But with good reasons! Both professional and personal. Professionally, I'm swamped. The day jobs is all politics, and with the election bearing down, long nights have to be put in and attentions must be focused on that... Continue reading

Posted Sep 24, 2012 at DC Culinarian

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A Challenge To Egg Orthodoxy

Regular readers (hah!) of this blog know that for me, eggs are serious business. As I've articulated in the past, there's no "right" way to cook an egg, but there are more wrong ways than can be counted. My general rule of thumb, though, is if you're frying an egg... Continue reading

Posted Sep 13, 2012 at DC Culinarian

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I love the name of this cocktail, though I don't know that it's particularly well suited to the drink itself. "Wild Ruffian" conjures some sort of grain alcohol-based knee-buckler made with, I don't know... root vegetables and tree bark, maybe? The reality is an altogether classy libation of cognac, peach... Continue reading

Posted Aug 24, 2012 at DC Culinarian

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Balsamic Peach Raspberry Zabaglione

The occasion of peach week gives me the opportunity to share one of the more valuable cooking lessons I ever learned, imparted to me by my younger brother. He's far and away a better cook than I am, and succeeds at pretty much everything, which is thoroughly irritating. The flip... Continue reading

Posted Aug 23, 2012 at DC Culinarian

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Peach-Stuffed Pork Loin

It's only right and proper that after stuffing something into a peach yesterday, that I stuff a peach into something today. It's poetry, ebb and flow, perhaps even comeuppance -- of what I have no clue. But still, the stuffee has become the stuffer. I've written previously about how pork... Continue reading

Posted Aug 22, 2012 at DC Culinarian

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