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Going Public
California
FortySomething California woman learning to accept life on life's terms. And kind of sucking at it. So far.
Interests: I have a few kids. They are the shining light in my life. My absolute and unyielding joy--even when they aren't. I am a thrift shopping junkie, furniture re-doer aficionado, See's Candy lover (some might say, addict), beginning golfer, anxiety overcomer, mistake maker, mind speaker, Jesus lover, friend lover, jeans hoarder (and obviously, always in need of a new pair), vintage-all-the-way, tried yoga (meh) kind of girl. Curently, I also have a broken heart. I would love to know you stopped by. Please leave a comment. XOXO
Recent Activity
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Fear kept this story on the inside of me for years. And shame. It is not a secret, per se, but it isn't something I tell everyone. I understand it is not something everyone can palate. Hell, I wouldn't have been able to until it was me who was so... Continue reading
Posted Jun 21, 2015 at Going Public, Kinda
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I still had a girlish naivety that all I needed and wanted was his affection. His attention. I honest-to-God thought I could keep my tongue in my own mouth. Continue reading
Posted Jun 16, 2015 at Going Public, Kinda
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It's been 5 years. I haven’t recovered. I don’t think I ever will. I don’t really want to. Continue reading
Posted Jun 12, 2015 at Going Public, Kinda
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The woman who stood watching him get out of the car, then cross the driveway toward the house that they built together, had no idea a man who claimed to love his wife could be so vicious. Continue reading
Posted Jun 2, 2015 at Going Public, Kinda
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For me, as a Christian woman, that was the first stitch in my open, blood gushing gash. Understanding that, I am an insufficient, flawed human being of finite understanding and capabilities. As I was created to be. Continue reading
Posted May 30, 2015 at Going Public, Kinda
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I found a friend in her that I thought only existed in movies. I thought we would grow old together. We won't, though. Continue reading
Posted May 27, 2015 at Going Public, Kinda
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I clawed my way through the doubts, the anger, the pain, the fear of it happening again down the road. It was war. And I, ultimately, was victorious. I was proud of that feat because I fought with everything I had in me to win. Continue reading
Posted May 25, 2015 at Going Public, Kinda
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There were many more signs to come. While they filled me with dread, I dismissed them all. Was I stupid? In denial? Yes, and in love. All these years later, that is what still infuses me with anger. The lack of regard for me--not only to do it, but to lie and cause me to mistrust myself. Continue reading
Posted May 24, 2015 at Going Public, Kinda
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Despite my deep faith in God, I began to use alcohol and sex to numb myself. What can I say? As much as I have not enjoyed the past 8 years, I was (and am) being transformed. God allowed me to see through my very own eyes that we are all capable of shocking things under the right circumstances. Continue reading
Posted May 24, 2015 at Going Public, Kinda
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Today, I choose to begin the chronicling of my own personal failures and train wreck of a marriage. I am not sure what to title this yet. It will snap into focus though, just as life has a way of doing. As my decision to file for divorce did, after years of inability to face to truth. Continue reading
Posted May 24, 2015 at Going Public, Kinda
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Jun 2, 2012