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Ilia
in my own little world...
I love writing fantasy and retail-hell stories.
Recent Activity
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From: Brachiator A friend of mine found a Black Amex in the bathroom of his restaurant workplace with a noted director's name on it who got famous years after working in video stores. This card was ensconced in a massive pile of ...white powder. Like a small mountain of it. My friend scooped the stuff all up into a tip envelope and sealed it and told manager only to call said director's assistant and let him know they found his card, pointedly telling him not to open the envelope. Next time the guy came into work, there was some autographed memorabilia and a very, very lavish tip. The bills were winkingly rolled into tubes and a brief initialed note acknowledging he could have a had a field day with TMZ or the like, and thanking him for his discretion. --Brachiator Continue reading
Posted yesterday at Retail Hell Underground
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From: Rob Have I got a story for you about a Bad Retail Slave! One time I bought a new Mustang, took it home and then got a call from the dealer. I drove back up there and the finance guy said that he needed another $500 down to make the deal work. I handed him the keys and said, "Keep the car. I expect a full refund. Now!" He backtracked so hard I almost choked on the dust. He made a show of checking the file, then said, "Hold on... Oh, sorry, I got you confused with someone else." Then he lowered the price of the car 'for your trouble,' and we were on our way. I was so mad. There was no reason for us to go back to the dealer. They just thought they could get an extra $500 out of us. Every time I have bought a car, new or used, I have always felt dirty in the end. --Rob Continue reading
Posted yesterday at Retail Hell Underground
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From: KitchenPeon One of the reasons I quit my first job as a bagger was due to call outs. One Saturday three of our five closing baggers called out "sick" leaving me and the only other bagger who actually did work. Saturdays were always the busiest day at the store and two of us had to cover bagging, greeter, gathering carts, mopping the entire floor, emptying all the trash cans, restocking bags, and putting unwanted merchandise back. The managers refused to call any of the other baggers for extra help and then yelled and me and M, the two baggers, for not doing our jobs! We were so swamped that we had to let some stuff go because we're only two people. I worked Sunday again with one of the people who called out on Saturday... all three of the missing baggers had gone to a party and gotten drunk. These kids were only 16. Sigh. --KitchenPeon Continue reading
Posted yesterday at Retail Hell Underground
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From: Fortune Cookie Oooh, we should come up with a new "conversion story" for every time a religious freak comes in. "Didn't you know sir, you had me converted. Yes, indeed. You lectures made me want to join a religion. I am now a Muslim, though I miss my bacon." "Why sir, I do believe that Jesus lived and then my people nailed him to a cross. I wish I could have been there." "Of course I am a believer, the path is clear to all who accept the Force and use it to overpower the evil Sith lords." --Fortune Cookie Continue reading
Posted yesterday at Retail Hell Underground
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Robocop makes sense because he’s a robot and also a cop. This is just a guy named Robert who decided to join the academy. And why is he quoting Arnold?? --ROB FEE Continue reading
Posted yesterday at Retail Hell Underground
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From: sourpatchkid3 So this woman comes in a few minutes before closing, says that she knows we're closing and is just going to grab a few things. Ok, fine. I went back to cleaning up and told her to let me know if she needed anything. And then things went downhill. She starts destroying everything. She's turning piles over to get her size, trying things on in the middle of the store, throwing half-buttoned things on top of other piles. She puts her purse and umbrella and jacket and everything on top of one table, knocking over some piles. The works, basically. And the whole time she's there she keeps saying, "Oh silly me, I'm making such a mess here," and "Oh dear, you don't mind that I'm making a mess do you?" So she absolutely 100% knew what she was doing. So she finally leaves and we lock the doors and go in the back to start the closing stuff. We come back out about ten minutes later and I start cleaning up what this lady had messed up. And I find her car keys under a pile of sweaters. Not just any car keys, though, rental car keys.... Continue reading
Posted yesterday at Retail Hell Underground
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From: Hypothetical I love the grocery robots, and I hate the grocery robots. When I go to the store here that has them, and only have a few items to pick up ( Oh, fuck, I want to make burritos tonight, but I forgot to get tortillas, etc.) then they are really awesome. I can get in, grab what I need, bag it the way I want it bagged, and get out. Unfortunately, I work odd hours. That means that I do my primary grocery shopping around 3 AM. The store in this area that uses the grocery robots, is also the only grocery in the area that is 24 hours. And guess what.. between 11 PM and 7 AM the grocery robots are the ONLY CASHIERS available. ( Not including the guy who runs the third shift robots, who I have become kind of friends with over the past five years. We have long conversations while I am checking out because he is a Console Baby while I am a PC-iot... Gamers, don't ya love us???) Those Robots are a real pain when you trying to buy 60-80 dollars worth of groceries, because the thrice-damned loading scale ( the... Continue reading
Posted 2 days ago at Retail Hell Underground
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GrammarNazi here. This began last week but I waited to see how it ended before sharing it. Part of me wants to apologize for my mother’s behavior, though a larger part is on her side. Last week, my mother ordered two planter areas for the balcony and the delivery company that would bring them advertises itself as having precise ETAs, practically on the minute. Friday comes and she gets a notification that it will arrive between 1:24 PM and 2:24 PM. Those times come and go, a new notification arrives that there’s a slight delay and it will arrive by 3:35 PM. Around 2:45 PM, my mother went downstairs and sit in front of the house to be there for the delivery. Very warm day, sunny and she has a good book, no issue and all. Even had a conversation with a neighbor while she was there and all. She comes back about an hour later, with no delivery. She saw the delivery man and his truck parked on the other side of the street, delivering something to other places, step into his truck… and leave. He did not even try to deliver her order and, when checking, my mother... Continue reading
Posted 2 days ago at Retail Hell Underground
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From: Robbie I once overheard a coworker mention that they've called out in order to play hooky with their buddies all day. I have been on the job since last April. I have called in sick twice since then, once for food poisoning (not pretty), and once because my heart was going haywire (long story for a much later date). The idea that someone can call in sick so they can hang out with their friends is just wrong. That is what days off are for. Furthermore, it makes people who actually have a reason to call in sick, myself included, feel more guilty because now there is even fewer people on that shift. You are paid to show up. Do that. --Robbie Continue reading
Posted 2 days ago at Retail Hell Underground
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From: Random Retail Slave Thankfully we have very few extremely religious co-workers where I work. And for the most part they have left me alone on the religion topic. When one of them have tried to discus religion with me, I have told them as kindly as possible that there are a three topics I feel very uncomfortable talking at work: religion, politics and sex. I will listen to the first two topics, but not comment; but will not listen to discussions on the third. I used that during this last election year too when in the break-room someone would want to know who I was voting for etc... Whenever one of my co-workers would try to force the issues with me, I would just tell them that I felt that the work place should remain neutral of religion or politics to keep the peace. --Random Retail Slave Continue reading
Posted 2 days ago at Retail Hell Underground
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It’s a good thing they wrote the word “TORTOISE” across his chest or how would we ever figure out what he’s supposed to be? --ROB FEE Continue reading
Posted 2 days ago at Retail Hell Underground
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That deliberate stare that roves from the top of your head to your toes, like a piece of meat... We should legally be able to rip off their wang and beat them with it... Continue reading
Posted 2 days ago at Retail Hell Underground
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From: RazorJane When I first started working at the book store, I loved it. I was on a good team processing inventory, my days moved quickly, and I had a good manager. I messed all of that up by accepting a promotion to Cafe Supervisor and the reason the promotion was a bad idea can be summed up in one word: Francis.* Francis was the Human Resources Manager and also for some reason was in charge of the cafe. He had a reputation for being an idiot and a bad manager. The previous three cafe supervisors under him had quit within 6 months. But I am insanely confident and so I thought I could be the one that raised our cafe from a messy embarrassment into a well-oiled machine. Spoiler alert: I was wrong. Francis started out by telling me it was my cafe and I would ultimately decide where it went. If I had an issue with any of his suggestions, I should let him know and he would step out of the way and let me do my thing. I thought, "Cool, let's start by getting this dump up to corporate standards!" We were contracted to one of... Continue reading
Posted 2 days ago at Retail Hell Underground