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Ilia
in my own little world...
I love writing fantasy and retail-hell stories.
Recent Activity
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From shitpplsay I don't work for a shipping company, but I got a horrifying eye full anyway. Fedex delivered some vitamins and they weren't for us. The address numbers were switched so I walked down the block to neighbor's house that was a bit secluded and had a gate in front. I opened the metal gate, walked up to the house and rang the bell. I saw a lot of movement inside through the frosted glass window on the door. I was about to knock when the door opened. Turned out it was a porn shoot... A very naked dude was given the package. Two female porn stars were sitting on a couch, also naked, with a video cam on a tripod aimed at them. Never found out who they were, never found out the movie. I was just stunned by what I was seeing. --shitpplsay Continue reading
Posted 11 minutes ago at Retail Hell Underground
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From unaumbra, TalesFromRetail Our store closed at 8PM Christmas Eve, and at 7:45 PM this man comes up to me panicked asking me where we had a RC Star Wars toy. As I was well aware we were sold out for over a week on the item I told him this. He asks me to check the back, and I tell him it would be no use as we had not gotten any in all week, and there was no freight coming in on Christmas Eve. The man looks at me dead in the eye, and told me I was heartless, and ruined his child's Christmas. This, of course, is not the first time I had been told this, and won't be the last time either. Since I looked like I was not worried about this the man stormed off, and demanded a manager fire me for ruining his kid's Christmas. Which did not happen. My manager told me I should at least look sorry, and I told him I would if I was, but it is not my fault he waited until 15 minutes from our closing time to go Christmas Shopping for his kids presents. I am not responsible for his poor planning, and said, "Piss poor planning on his part does not constitute an emergency on mine." The manager quipped back, "Damn I forgot you are a military brat." I laughed as he told me to just keep cleaning up. --unaumbra Continue reading
Posted 4 hours ago at Retail Hell Underground
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From Emily When the US had a very strong cold snap a few years ago (temperatures almost continuously in the 30s in Florida) we had people complaining that we were sold out of heaters. When they asked when we were going to get more, they were told we probably wouldn’t since they were being diverted to Northern states. If they seemed to get upset about that, I just politely pointed out that those were the places where people might DIE if they didn’t have heat and here they would just be mildly uncomfortable. Florida, being the Wang Of America, meant that I got to hear people announce how many fucks (zero) they gave about people in the north. "My mild inconvenience is more important than some Yankee dying!" was the motto, apparently. Isn't entitlement grand? --Emily Continue reading
Posted yesterday at Retail Hell Underground
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From Drug Store Diva I usually joke around with customers who come in with coffee drinks that there's an unwritten rule that nobody can bring in coffee without bringing enough to share. It usually gets a laugh. One day I said that to a customer who had a McDonalds coffee cup, we laughed then chatted about the coffees. I mentioned that I loved their new peppermint mocha. About thirty minutes later, the customer came back with a peppermint mocha. With the week I've been having, I nearly cried. --Drug Store Diva Continue reading
Posted yesterday at Retail Hell Underground
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Whenever a crusty bitches about the "War On Christmas," point out to them that until 1836, Christmas was considered a pagan holiday by the Christian Church and therefore a "great dishonor of God." People were fined for celebrating it. So no... Jesus is NOT the reason for the season. Continue reading
Posted yesterday at Retail Hell Underground
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From enlighteningbug, AskReddit My uncle's a FedEx driver in Arizona. One delivery he had was to some mansion, and as he pulls up to the gates, two giant dobermans start barking at him. He rings the buzzer on the outside and tells the guy who he is, that he has a delivery for him. The guy calls his dogs back and opens the gate up. Uncle drives up, and is greeted at the door by Bret Michaels. Now Bret Michaels is apparently a very nice guy and invites my uncle in. Uncle is a pretty big Poison fan, and does the "I'm a huge fan" deal, and they chat for a little bit. Bret offers to smoke with him, but my uncle has a schedule to keep and declines. As my uncle is about to leave, Bret asks him how thoroughly FedEx does it's drug searches. Uncle says it's not worth the risk... --enlighteningbug Continue reading
Posted yesterday at Retail Hell Underground
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From unrealdude03, TalesFromRetail Back then (couple years ago) before I changed departments and went to gas station, I was a cashier at a local grocery chain. I had the misfortune of working Christmas Eve. Luckily I worked in the morning and was out by 12:00 noon. I'm working the till and that Christmas Eve morning it was actually raining and cold. (No snow. It doesn't snow where I live.) I was near the exit so would constantly get a breeze of cold wet air. I had been working the past 4 days so I could get the following week off and be able to hang out New Year's Eve. Things were going smooth when I had my first difficult customer of the day. Snobby Lady we will call her. Me: "Hello find everything alright?" Snobby lady: "Yes. Yes I did. It's nice and cold outside but I'm not liking the rain." Me: "Yes it is. And me either. Hopefully it doesn't rain tomorrow on Christmas Day." Snobby lady: "I know. I'm going to come early to get some more things for lunch and dinner for my family tomorrow." (Now just a note. We are closed Christmas Day. We always have been. We have signs on every single cash register stating we are closed and will open the next day) Me: "Oh well you should get those items right now or later today. We are going to be closed tomorrow. It's Christmas Day." Snobby lady: "Oh no I'll just come tomorrow." Me: "Ma'am. We are closed tomorrow." Snobby lady: "What do you mean your closed tomorrow?! It's Christmas Day! I have things I need to buy!" Me: "And I have a family I'd like to be at home with and spend my day with. If you have things you need to... Continue reading
Posted yesterday at Retail Hell Underground
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Hope That Helps is a humor page that gives humorous and/or smartass responses to customer complaints that are often petty or just plain dumb. However in this case, Hope That Helps encountered a custy who not only realized that the response was satirical, but also took the smartassery in good humor. We've found a rare custy, folks! --Hope That Helps Continue reading
Posted yesterday at Retail Hell Underground
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From joshsalvi, AskReddit I had just undergone shoulder surgery the day prior to Thanksgiving. My boss told me I had better show up, and I liked my job at Circuit City at the time (not for the job but for the coworkers), so I showed up at 5am, just hours post op. I was there in a shoulder sling, popped a Percocet, and started the day. My job was to handle the computers, so I dealt with the onslaught of people pushing me over to get free CD-Rs. Literally pushing me over. I fell down on my shoulder after some mother pushed me over a little kid, no lie. To squelch the pain, I took a Percocet. Around 9am, a man came in wanting to buy a CRT monitor. You know, those big heavy ones. He had a bunch of other items and wanted me to carry the monitor out to his car. I objected, but he started getting upset. So I dragged the monitor with my good arm and put it into a cart. I pushed it out to his car, put the monitor in, and the guy drove away without thanking me. I turned around and bumped into a customer with my bad arm. This sent a discharge of extreme pain running throughout my body. So I went inside and took a Percocet. Flash forward to around 11am. Customers look like blurs and I find myself drooling a little bit. A customer comes up and asks where he can find the monster cable. I found the idea of a "monster" cable to be hilarious, so I laughed maniacally in his face. He backed away and asked another employee. I then proceed sit on a computer box and tell stories about the adventures of Black Fridays of yore. Customers... Continue reading
Posted 2 days ago at Retail Hell Underground
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From jackthebeanstalk, AskReddit The only Black Friday I've ever worked, it was at K-Mart, and coincidentally the guy that was scheduled to work the electronics section called in "sick" and I was the only other "capable person" (as the manager described me) to take that position. This was back when Game Boy Advance SPs were still a hot item, and we had a bundle deal with an SP and two games of your choice, for like $40 or something. It was an insane deal. We only had 8. The electronics section at this K-Mart, like most retail stores, was at the back of the store, and I should mention that at this point in the day the overhead radio hadn't kicked on yet. They mentioned over the loudspeaker that they were opening the front doors, and so I got ready to get rid of these of these 8 SP bundles in the next 9 seconds or so. I shit you not, when I tell you that it was a literal rumbling from the front of the store where people were sprinting back to the electronics section. The first guy I saw started screaming that he wanted an SP, put it on the counter. So I did. It was smooth as could be as he sprinted by, grabbed the SP, and continued on to the sporting goods. The rest of it did not go that smooth. We had people pounding on the video game cases, I saw a lady get knocked to the ground and shoved out of the way so people could get to radios and CDs. The SPs were gone in a heartbeat and I spent the next couple of hours getting verbally destroyed by parents whose children now had a 'ruined Christmas.' There was one lady who still... Continue reading
Posted 2 days ago at Retail Hell Underground
^^And there went our first victim to the all devouring giant ball pit. ;) ^^
1 reply
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From DeLaNope, AskReddit Went to go get my exhaust fixed, no big deal- pothole poked a hole in it. When I went to go pick up the car a couple hours later, I am treated to a woman SCREAMING at the guy behind the counter. She's positively foaming because she has been waiting nearly 30 minutes for her car to be fixed. She even goes so far as to call the guy an, "INSIGNIFICANT LAZY IMMIGRANT". Guy looks at her, looks at me, then throws me my keys; "Here you go, your Magnum's ready. No charge." Looks her directly in the eyes. "Looks like it's going to be more expensive than we originally thought. Would you like us to call you a cab?" I returned shortly afterwards with pizza for the shop. --DeLaNope Continue reading
Posted 2 days ago at Retail Hell Underground
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From nadnerb_, TalesFromRetail So I (21 and Male) work at a well known electronics store and the store I work at happens to be in a lower income area so naturally we get some real characters in here. So the other day a man comes in let's call him chicken and beer guy (CBG) Nadnerb(N): How are you doing today sir? CBG: Ahh errrrrr makes stabbing motion ahh I hate people N: Yes sir they can be difficult sometimes CBG: Lemme ask you something. You're a man of the people right? N: Uh I guess so? CBG: So I was in another store and I touched this woman's elbow to tell her she had beautiful hair and she freaked out can you believe that?! N: Ah well it probably wasn't a good idea to touch her elbow. (That's me trying to be polite, even tho the guy was clearly a creep.) CBG: BUT I PAID HER A COMPLIMENT!!! (He then pats my elbow) you have very pretty hair see that wasn't weird N: *awkwardly* Haha yeah..... So the rest of the transaction goes awkwardly but normally and he leaves the store. About half an hour later he comes back. N: Hey how ya doing sir? CBG: Much better! I went and got my girlfriend a bikini. (He then proceeded to show me a clearly used, and old, bikini he must have gotten at some used clothing store) and some chicken and beer! N: Oh... Well sounds like your day got better... CBG: Much! Hey whadya say you come with me we can have some chicken and beer and you can model this bikini for me? And he gives me a creepy wink and a smile. N: Uhhhhhhhh ummm no sorry I think I'll pass. The smile on his face then... Continue reading
Posted 2 days ago at Retail Hell Underground
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1) HANDZOFF ANTI-MASTURBATORY GUM 2) Daron Worldwide Trading Floaters Fishing Game 3) Diet Water 12 Pack 4) Shreddies Flatulence Filtering Underwear 5) Pizza Hut Perfume 6) Dog Walking Bicycle Attachment 7) Private Movie Theater Hat (TV hat) 8) Cashel Daddle Saddle 9) --Joe Santagato Continue reading
Posted 3 days ago at Retail Hell Underground