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Ilia
in my own little world...
I love writing fantasy and retail-hell stories.
Recent Activity
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From: GiftofGab This happened a couple of years ago, not long after the Hobby Lobby Supreme Court case. It was a Saturday, meaning it was busy and all hands were on the cashier deck including the STL store manager. I checked out an older lady (older than me; I'm early 50's) perfectly normal transaction, which was finished UNTIL she stops just at the end of my counter, turns to me and says in a smallish voice: "But...Hobby Lobby won, yay!" and pumped her arms feebly. This was a.) in relation to absolutely nothing that had been mentioned at any point in said Perfectly Normal Transaction and b.) a ruling I didn't like (but that actually wasn't what rubbed me the wrong way about it.) I didn't even look at her, but gave a noncommittal "Mm Hm." and started to turn and call the next person in line when she DID IT AGAIN! The exact. same. way. This time, I turned, looked her in the eye and said in my most deadpan what-the-fuck-do-you-want-from-me voice: "Yes. They did." and turned away to call the next custy in line. I heard her harrumph and caught her whirling around out of the corner of my eye as she stomped to the door. Good Riddance! The reason this is my rudest custy is that 1.) This woman was using a retail slave as a captive audience that she was expecting to support her political views AND who had no real recourse to disagree while on the job SO NOT COOL!! 2.) ASSuming that because I looked like her (middle-aged white woman in a conservative area) that I would automatically be sympathetic to her pet cause, 3.) Citing that case in ANOTHER FREAKING CRAFT CHAIN! Seriously, if you're so damn jazzed about it why aren't you... Continue reading
Posted 10 minutes ago at Retail Hell Underground
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From: SummerEvening We got a new kid around 19 or 20 for a warehouse job. During lunch break, he goes out to buy weed, and gets busted. It turns out he has a warrant out for hima nd gets arrested. I have no idea why this wasn't given due attention in the background check or whether they just didn't check at all... Then has the balls to call us to bail him out because he lives with his grandmother and she would get upset. Spoiler alert: we didn't bail him out. --SummerEvening Continue reading
Posted 4 hours ago at Retail Hell Underground
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From: RHUer I worked as a 411 operator while going to college. This was shortly after 9/11. I had a guy on the line with a Middle Eastern accent, asking for a number to some place. When I couldn't find it, he started threatening me that he was going to find me and blow me up, and that he had ways of sending electricity through the phone to kill me. I ended up sending him to my manager's station. Here's a little tip for anyone thinking of acting like this. 411 operators DO have your phone number, even if you are unlisted, block it or whatever. If you ask them if they can see your number they have to say no for some legal reasons, even though it's a lie. They CAN see your number, and they CAN give it to the cops, who can track your ass down. --RHUer Continue reading
Posted 8 hours ago at Retail Hell Underground
Posted 10 hours ago at Retail Hell Underground
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From: riconquer It was a slow day at my gas station. Customers were few and far between as I ran the register. My intercom beeps, informing me that the customer on pump #5 need help. I press the button and give a cheery Me: "What can I do for you today?" Intercom: "There's something wrong with my pump. Can you come take a look?" Me: "Sure, I'll be right out." So I walk out to the pump and notice two things. First, the customer on pump #5 is a girl in her early 20's. Second is the strong smell of gasoline. I know exactly where this is going. Me: "What seems to be the trouble?" Girl: "I don't know, I tried to hang up the pump, but something sprayed out of my gas tank." I look down, and the side of her car and the ground have a decent bit of gas on them. Nothing dangerous, but its very obvious. Me: "OK, nothing to worry about, its just some gas. When you pull the nozzle out, just make sure that you aren't squeezing the handle." Girl: "Oooohh, that gas?" Me: "Yes..." Girl: "Are you sure that's gas? Why did it spray out of my tank?" Me: "Oh, its definitely gas, and this happens some times. Like I said, just make sure not to squeeze the handle when you're pulling it out of your tank, and you'll be fine." I demonstrate this for her by hanging the pump up normally. Girl: "That's crazy, are you sure that's gas?" Me: "Well, if that's not gas coming out of my gas pumps, I have a much bigger problem than a little spill right now." Girl: "Oh OK, if you say so..." She then got in her car and drove off. --riconquer Continue reading
Posted 12 hours ago at Retail Hell Underground
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InSecurity here with a tale of woe on a new dude's first day. My place has more than just jackass crusty problems, we have elevator problems up the kazoo. We have tons of grampas is hustling (relatively) to the elevator and puts out his cane to stop the doors. He fails on putting it in far enough, jams the door and the car up good. That's about a quarter of our elevator problems. The rest of the time its the elevators being cheap POS. Another time, I got caught in a car that just broke down. I've been to so many, it was just radio it in, and start taking notes. I got out when maintenance just reset the car. However, our most embarrassing incident happened a few days ago when a new hire for the back office got stuck. We did the usual call the elevator company and ask if he needed anything and to shout out if he had any medical issues crop up, etc. We actually have a script, and I have it memorized, that's how often we have elevator issues. I see the car come back online briefly and summon it to me. The guy stuck inside gets up and asks me, "Hey, where are the stairs? Its my first day and I don't feel like taking the elevators anymore." I would wish the elevators where you are are better than mine, but there aren't many where they are worse. --InSecurity Continue reading
Posted yesterday at Retail Hell Underground
You know what we need? We need to put pidgeon back on the menu. "Save a pedestrian from poop, eat a pigeon!" People will buy teeny ass game hens, but for some reason pigeon isn't a source of meat? Clean it and cook it properly and you've got some pretty good eating... and it's not like they're going to go extinct anytime soon. :p
Toggle Commented 2 days ago on Seems Legit at Retail Hell Underground
1 reply
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From: touronsgohome I worked at a coffee shop in a small tourist town. We had a woman come in and ask for all the allergens to our frappachino knock-off drink. When satisfied she ordered one of those and a small smoothie for the small boy that was with her. We were an ice cream shop as well, and the boy was begging for an ice cream. The woman was getting pretty impatient with the child, and you could see her begin to get tense. I got her the drinks, served to her table after I made them. As I walked away I could hear the boy say he didn't want his smoothie, he wanted ice cream. Suddenly the woman stands up and grabs the boy by the arm. She storms out the boy is yelping a little, saying, "No, no, no!" There were a couple other patrons in the shop. Most pretended not to see, but an older man, and I went to the windows that faced the parking lot- where the woman had gone. We see the woman in the front seat of a black sedan- and we see her hand raise up and down several times, and the boy's screams. I ran and got the cordless phone, and then outdoors with the other customer. When we got to her car I was dialing 911. The woman jumps out of the car and swipes the phone away, and begins just screaming and blubbering about the "little shit" and how she is overwhelmed and she's sorry, begging me not to call the cops. The boy is inconsolable, and obviously shaken. I go to the passenger side of the car and take him out to bring him back in the shop. He has welts on the side of his face and... Continue reading
Posted yesterday at Retail Hell Underground
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From: Reed26 For several years, I worked as a gas station attendant/eventual manager of a gas station connected to a grocery store. My kiosk (the box) was small, about 10x10 filled to the top with merchandise, so shifts in the box were usually done solo, with about a 90 minute overlay for breaks and such. My store I managed had 5 pumps setup, one directly in front of me, and 2 on each side in a row, so a total of 10 active customers at any time. There was a large space between my window and the pump in front of me for merc/queues to form up. Being that we weren't an actual department of the grocery store, I didn't have a specialized nametag to show I was the manager, and at 5 feet tall and 21 years old, most non-regulars passed me off as just some high school graduate wanting to make a few bucks. We have a loyalty card program at my store: scan your card, 3c off a gallon. Spend $100 in store, you get 10c off a gallon, easy enough right? Its friday, about 2pm, by far the busiest time of the week (my 11-7 shift on friday pulled over 10k in cash alone), and Im dealing with my stream, scanning cards, explaining to people they dont stick their card in the receipt receptacle, nothing too crazy. This woman, however, comes up and says shes not getting her 3c off. I asked if she scanned the card, she said no, so I told her how to scan her card and she went on her way. About 10 minutes later she bombards my queue of customers, screaming her head off that my pumps have ripped her off and she demanded to speak to a manager. So I... Continue reading
Posted yesterday at Retail Hell Underground
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From: RHUer Apparently being too close to a nearby store means we're suffering the same fate... or else know all about the other stores... through osmosis I guess? Customer: "Are you guys going out of business?" Me: "No... Why?" Customer: "Well store to the left is going out of business." Me: "Oh, well, we're not affiliated with them..." And then there's: Customer: "WHAT HAPPENED TO OUT OF BUSINESS SHOE STORE?!" Me: "It went out of business and closed unfortunately." Customer: "But I have returns to make! Where did they go?!" Me: "I don't know." Customer: "But how am I supposed to make my returns? Where did they move to, you must known since you work in [Big Mall]!" All the time. --RHUer Continue reading
Posted 2 days ago at Retail Hell Underground
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From: lo-key-glass I worked at a gas station a while back. Helped train this new guy. He was really nice, we all liked him. His first solo shift, he walks away with $150 out of the register. Didn't even try to cover it up or anything. Everybody was shocked. He totally thought he was gonna keep working there. Like he could just apologize and it would be cool. But even if he just walked away its not like they didn't have his name, address, phone number etc... It wouldn't be hard at all to seek legal recourse. --lo-key-glass Continue reading
Posted 2 days ago at Retail Hell Underground
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From: crackiswhackexcept I got to see a gun at Golden Arches in high school over a larger sized drink... not even for free food, just a larger sized drink. Some guy bought and paid for a medium sized chicken nugget meal, then when he got to the second window (where I was) after already paying, I go to hand him the drink and he says, "Nah, I want a supasize." Now, I hated Golden Arches and gave free shit away constantly, but when you tell me to give you something instead of letting me decide to do it on my own, I get pissed. It's just rude. so I'm all "well, no, you paid for a medium, here you go." So then he says, "Nah, I don't think you understand. I said I want a goddamn supasize!" and pulls a pistol out from his waistband. It wasn't the first gun pulled on me, and he wasn't even pointing the barrel at me, so I wasn't freaking out, just wondering WTF was going on. I just looked at him, laughed, then walked away. I told a manager, that I didn't like, that the customer had a gun and was demanding a bigger drink. She was all negative parts of the human psyche all rolled into a little ball of soul-crushing despair, and she seemed to think I was crying wolf so she goes up to the window. She sees the gun, screams and hits the floor. The gun is STILL not actually aimed at anybody, and no I don't know why he just sat there with the gun out, letting everyone get a good look at his face. Then the guy drives off, apparently realizing that nobody is gonna reach out the window with the drink he's demanding, and the cops... Continue reading
Posted 2 days ago at Retail Hell Underground
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From: unrealdude03 This was roughly several months back. It was a normal afternoon no problems (yet) running smoothly. So I'm in my booth hanging out helping customers (had a couple people in line to prepay) when I hear a loud noise! It was like a whip and snap (not sure if that makes sense). I immediately stop what I'm doing and go outside to see what happened (trained to know if anything happens how to shut gas station off and what to do depending on the situation) I look to one of my pumps and see my hose and nozzle on the floor and a car about 5 feet in front of it (He also stepped out of his car.) I walk over and let loose. (Why you might ask because he could have potentially broke my pump not to mention spilling gas that was in the hose and it could be a fire / safety hazard and I would need to close off the station. Potentially call fire department if gas spill is greater than 5 gallons.) Me: What is wrong with you?!?! (Pretty mad and surprised) Customer: uh no.... No hablo inglés (I don't speak English) [He has this sly 'screw you' expression, and I realize he's lying about not speaking English. Very well, two can play at that game.] Me: Oyè idiota! ¿No presta atención? (Hey dumbass (idiot) didn't you pay attention?!) Customer: ¡Ah! (Proceeds to close his gas cap and close the lid) [His sly expression falls off his face, then gets stubborn and he pretends like he just can't hear me now.] (The nozzle is still on the floor) Me: ¿Vas a poner esa boquilla de vuelta? (You gonna put that nozzle back?) Customer: (starts walking away from me) Me: ¡Oye! ¡Pendejó! Te toy hablando!... Continue reading
Posted 2 days ago at Retail Hell Underground