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Ilia
in my own little world...
I love writing fantasy and retail-hell stories.
Recent Activity
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From: Me-me Sometimes there isn’t “side” work to be doing. There’s just waiting for real work – and cleaning. Cleaning clean things. Making a mess of things by trying to clean just because you can’t take a two minute pause for some reason. In some cases it would take longer to make PREPARATIONS to clean than it would to just wait for the next piece of work. At that time you have a mop, some floor cleaner and whatever other accoutrements for the busywork you had to get out, that you now have to put back, DELAYING your real work, just because the policy is to disallow even a second of idle hands? It’s a drop in productivity for the sake of a professional seeming employee. That said if there actually IS work to be doing, there’re plenty of good will reasons to be doing them. --Me-me Continue reading
Posted yesterday at Retail Hell Underground
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From: Magical Shrimp I had an idiot who, when we were all ABSOLUTELY swamped at the tills, popped up like a gopher from somewhere in the chaos and said, "I only have one item! Can you just take me while you're waiting?" Fuck and no. I was in the middle of a transaction and shit was coming up that I couldn't do anything to speed up. So no - wait your turn like all the other grown-ups, dickhead! --Magical Shrimp Continue reading
Posted yesterday at Retail Hell Underground
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This story was originally posted on: February 05, 2010 ------------------------- From: Heidi I've often had people ask me about my days in retail hell. Before becoming an RN (which has it's own special kind of hell) I've worked in retail, restaurants, and call centers. I tell people I will never ever become a waitress again. While I sometimes long for the days of having a pocketful of cash on a Friday night, you can't pay me enough to work as a waitress again. I've had people ask me how come? Well....it's a long story but here it goes: While going to school to become an RN, I worked at a restaurant. A chain restaurant that I will not name. I had just finished the last day of three grueling days of nursing finals. I was tired. I didn’t get off work till 11pm. I’d been up since 5 am. I had to be in to see my college adviser the next morning at 7:30 am to sign up for next semesters classes. I also had to fill out paper work to renew four of my scholarships. Not only was I working late, but I had to be up early the... Continue reading
Posted yesterday at Retail Hell Underground
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From: Alex I actually do say, "if you have time to lean, you have time to clean," to my employees a lot. I actually do believe it (and practice it myself). It’s actually a HUGE pet peeve of mine when I’m running around, frantic, chicken with my head cut off, and I find three associates just standing there chatting. It's especially aggravating when there’s side work that has to be done, every day, that they haven’t even started on. There’s ALWAYS something you can be doing. --Alex Continue reading
Posted yesterday at Retail Hell Underground
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From: Me I had a telephone "reference" question where it was a woman asking me if the drains from her surgery needed care and changing! "Well, it looks like this, and it's like this around the incision, and this is coming out of it, etc." WTF lady, am I a doctor? A nurse? One, I can't see you, thank jeebus. Two, this is a LOCAL PUBLIC LIBRARY, not even a medical library! Third, call your frickin DOCTOR with questions like that, or even the Nurses Helpline! I gave her the number to the hotline, at least. Why me?? Plus the look of pure horror and revulsion on my face kinda freaked out my co-worker. Hahaha. --Me Continue reading
Posted yesterday at Retail Hell Underground
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From: Sstabeler "If you have time to lean, you have time to clean!" This is one of the most inane of the phrases management use. I can think of a good half-dozen reasons to not be visibly working that shouldn’t require you to grab a broom. Waiting for a crucial printout, for one. There’s no way to predict the length of time it’ll take to print, so you need to stay by the printer. --Sstabeler Continue reading
Posted 2 days ago at Retail Hell Underground
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From: RHUer Ugh, I always hated how wastefully our holiday stock came. Way, way WAY too much packaging; a tiny box, stuffed with bubble wrap... with a single ornament inside... and there's a whole wall of empty pegs to fill... Unfortunately a lot of shipping companies won’t pay for merchandise broken in transit unless it’s been ridiculously over-packed. Just look at the rules of the UPS site- you’re supposed to perform minimum bursting tests and minimum edge crush tests on every shipment. Man, I wish I was joking about that. --RHUer Continue reading
Posted 2 days ago at Retail Hell Underground
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From: Malmart Peon A customer tried to get me to sell her a display. I'm not talking about one of those appliances that get discounted 'cause people touch them, I'm talking about a non-functioning representation of Febreze products. I wanted to sell it to her, with the provision that she could not return it when she discovered that they didn't function and would not be able to complain about it. This is after I informed her of that little tidbit several times. Management wouldn't let me. :( --Malmart Peon Continue reading
Posted 2 days ago at Retail Hell Underground
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By the way... What about Christopher Walken? Is he denied Drive-Thru goodness too? Or does he get priviledges if he performs Weapon of Choice for the slaves? Continue reading
Posted 2 days ago at Retail Hell Underground
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This story was originally posted on: September 03, 2009 ------------------------- We are giving out a second Retail Balls Award to Art Store Slave!!! (Her first one can be viewed here). In this hellish tale, she has an encounter with some bible thumpers and the way she handled them is totally retailicious! You go Art Slave! Tell those custys: From: Art Slave Lately, my boss has been using me more and more for non customer encountering jobs as he's finally realized my complete loathing of our idiotic customers. Anyways, after successfully avoiding people for the majority of the day last week I was in a pretty good mood. So of course that means its an awesome idea to put me on register. No big deal right? Well, that day we had our favorite Bible thumping solicitors coming in to harass my manager for free art supplies so they could paint a mural to their "lord and savior." Whatever. I'm an atheist, courtesy of 3 years of Biology and an ounce of intelligence, but to each their own. I grit my teeth and dealt with it when they decided to purchase a tube of paint. I figured it'd be over shortly and... Continue reading
Posted 2 days ago at Retail Hell Underground
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From: Andy Custy: "I'm never shopping here again!" I wish we could take customers seriously, and make this a self inflicted banishment. That way they’d take their business elsewhere and play the same card… and then get put on that place’s trespasser list. Eventually they’d just do all their shopping online until they started complaining and, well… got ignored or marked as spam. All the while not realizing that THEY are the problem. --Andy Continue reading
Posted 2 days ago at Retail Hell Underground
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From: OX_Bigly If human communication isn't sliding down into a cesspool of indistinguishable grunts and barking one word statements, it's the degradation of human memory. I have long ago lost count of the times this has happened: Customer: I’m looking for a thing. Me: Do you know the name of it? Customer: No… But I buy it here all the time. Me: (?!?!?!) So either your brain farted as you walked through the door, or you're lying. If you buy it all the time, you should know what it is, where we usually keep it and what it's called! --OX_Bigly Continue reading
Posted 3 days ago at Retail Hell Underground
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From: Counterjockey Thankfully, working fast food, we don’t take checks. A lot of credit companies want signatures (Master Card in particular), so I still always have to on hunts for pens. I’ve had customers end up signing their receipts in dry-erase marker, Sharpie and pencil…There was one time it took me so long to finally find a freaking Sharpie (all the pens I found were dead) for the lady to sign with, that she was getting ready to sign with blood or her fingernail. "Which ever," she said "you think would be more legible.” Fingernail. Definitely fingernail. The company is retail hell, but we don't make deals with the devil. --Counterjockey Continue reading
Posted 3 days ago at Retail Hell Underground