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Ilia
in my own little world...
I love writing fantasy and retail-hell stories.
Recent Activity
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From: Grendus Sadly, managers caving to crusty demands is a matter of percentages. If 50% of customers can be prevented from causing issues by policy, that’s money in the bank. Then when the managers come in and undercut you, they keep the other half of the business. Your sanity means less than nothing to them. If there was money in inflicting schizophrenia on their employees, you can bet they’d be all over it. --Grendus Continue reading
Posted 1 hour ago at Retail Hell Underground
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From: Brian The Werewolf Walmart Adventures: Tonight I went on a late night soup run. Its so cold and after a rough day, Sam and I decided we wanted tomato soup and grilled cheese. Went to Walmart and picked up tomato basil home-style tomato soup, real deli cheese and crackers. All the self checkout lanes were full, so I went down to one of the two that was open. Got in line behind a woman in a wheelchair and a man in a blue hoodie. The man with the blue hoodie was being a little rough with the cashier, far rougher than was necessary. Based on what I could tell, he had picked up a bunch of stuff he couldn't pay for and then was berating her as if it were her fault. Another man and his wife, total strangers, came up to the guy in the blue hoodie and gave him money, money enough to pay for what he didn't have to cover for. So the process started again, and when the cashier re-rang up the meat and stuff she had just had to undo, the man stopped her and told her to put the meat back. She asked... Continue reading
Posted 5 hours ago at Retail Hell Underground
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(To people freaking out, there's a town called Sandwich.) Continue reading
Posted 9 hours ago at Retail Hell Underground
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FormerRetailer here, although now that I have begun to comment in the comment section under the name GrammarNazi and I will, with any luck, be back working as a retailer soon enough, let’s just refer myself as GrammarNazi now. Much more neutral. A short letter that anyone who has to work in customer service, particularly on the phone, would like to send to every customer as a registered letter, getting a signed receipt of delivery back so you know they got it and, hopefully, read it. Dear Every Customer Ever, Please note that there is never a reason to get angry at us. We are simply the lower people in the business and your beef will generally be with the higher ups. Yes, whenever you call our line, you will speak to us and not our supervisor/boss/chief/whatever. Only if you have a direct number for their personal connection will you reach them. No, I am not trying to “waste your time” or “make things difficult” by asking you what your name is. It’s important. Higher ups want to know who we are transferring to them. We can’t, and generally are reprimanded, for transferring every Tom, Dick and Harry to the... Continue reading
Posted 13 hours ago at Retail Hell Underground
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From: K from MA I also work at a baby store and male custy's (and sometimes custy grandmothers) have said similar things to me in the past. They'll ask me if I have kids (I don't) and they look at me like I have some sort of social disease. One asked how old I was (I stupidly told them) and he flat out told me that if I waited any longer, I was never going to have any. Then proceeded to tell me all about his sons, their ages, and the babies they have. I'm 30 and I guess that makes me an old maid apparently! Well, excuuuse me for wanting to wait until I'm married and can also afford a child! I work in retail for crap's sake! By the way, I'm not claiming that not being married and having a kid is wrong at all. That's just my plan for when I pop another human into the world. --K from MA Continue reading
Posted 17 hours ago at Retail Hell Underground
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This story was originally posted on: January 16, 2010 ------------------------- Hello all, Tony in North Carolina again. I haven't submitted anything in a while, but I have commented on many a post. Anyway, my latest adventure came from the time I got to tell a customer off while shopping. For several years I worked at a major retail chain that features red and white prominently, and has a dog mascot named "Bullseye". I hadn't been back there in a while due to a Wal-Mart being closer to my house, but had the opportunity to be back in there recently. The employees all wear red shirts and khaki pants. By sheer coincidence I happened to wear a red shirt and jeans. My former co-workers jokingly said they'd give me a scanning gun and get me back to work. We had a good laugh as I walked off to do my shopping I was stopped by a customer. Customer: Excuse me, can you help me? Me: Sorry no... (I was going to finish with, "I don't work here") Customer: Well that's just rude, you people are lazy and useless! I want your managers name, I'm going to report you and get you... Continue reading
Posted 21 hours ago at Retail Hell Underground
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From: Surleyq I am past the point of fearing my managers; they can no longer threaten me. To be “written up” in a job you hate is futile. It’s like that fabled “permanent file” in school. A dead-end job threatening me with a note in my file gives me the giggles. I don't go out of my way to cause hell for custys who just want help, but there's no way in hell I'm going to take shit from anyone here. I lay the smackdown on crustys, and I've looked a manager in the eye and told them that if they feel writing me up is necessary, to go right ahead. Funnily enough, I have yet to accrue the fabled write up that everyone else seems to live in fear of. --Surleyq Continue reading
Posted yesterday at Retail Hell Underground
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From: Rokas Perhaps the worst thing about retail, is the way corporate demands that you follow their policies to the letter. Then they, or even your own manager, will cut your knees out from under you and make you look like a tool, just to please a temper tantrum throwing twat. Why do they even HAVE the policy if they aren’t going to enforce it? --Rokas Continue reading
Posted yesterday at Retail Hell Underground
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From: Emily "Oh no, I forgot my coupon. I must have left it at home, and I live too far away to go back and get it." *significant pause as they wait for me to chime in with reassurances. I do not. I wait.* "...So, what do I do?" I can’t stand that question. Either you pay full price or you don’t buy the item in question and make sure you have the coupon with you before you come next time. That’s exactly what you do... --Emily Continue reading
Posted yesterday at Retail Hell Underground
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From: Captain No-Babies Hey guys, first time poster, long time reader. I work at the "best baby store around" according to corporate, so I get to deal with all kinds of fun things: screaming brats, moody pregnant ladies, clueless fathers, and picky grandparents. So yesterday, I was ringing people out when, mid-transaction, this couple interrupts me and asks where our receiving blankets are. So I did my best to explain where they are (on the only big silver rack that's 3 feet in front of their face) and continue to check out the other custy. They complained they couldn't find it, so I told them I would be with them as soon as I could. When I finished with the other custy, I showed them exactly where it was and the difference between the different types of blankets. I also had to tell them which blankets were meant for boys and which were meant for girls. (General rule of thumb: blue is for boys, pink is for girls.) So, after wasting 15 minutes explaining this to them, I then had to leave them to help the other custies we had in the store. A couple minutes later, they finished shopping... Continue reading
Posted yesterday at Retail Hell Underground
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This story was originally posted on: January 15, 2011 ------------------------- From: Fissue So I just found this site a couple of weeks ago and I’m in love! I didn’t realize so many people shared the same “love” for custys that I do. Anyway, I work at a very “smart” pet store and we’re always having to try to bust the myth that goldfish can live quite happily in a bowl. There are so many tactics to try to convince a customer to buy a proper set-up but it just doesn’t work sometimes. One of my favourite lines is: Custy: “My goldfish lived a really long time in a little bowl!” Me: “Oh, really? How long did he live?” Custy: “6 months!!” Me: “You do know that goldfish can live 20 years or more with proper care, right?” Custy: “No they don’t! Mine never lived that long!” Because I have nothing better to do with my day than tell you bullshit lies about goldfish, right? Then there’s the people who take it even further. They’ll threaten to buy their gold fish from the competitor fish store down the street. Like your $2 purchase would have really made a difference to us.... Continue reading
Posted yesterday at Retail Hell Underground
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From: Emma I had a customer tell me an item was 25% off. She got mad that I wanted to do a price check, and when I confirmed it wasn’t on sale, she slammed it on the counter and started yelling at ME! The manager ran after her and gave her the candle for FREE just because she was mad that she was wrong. Then I got a lecture about doing whatever it takes to make a customer happy, even when they’re wrong, without ever asking for my side of the story. Complete foolishness. --Emma Continue reading
Posted 2 days ago at Retail Hell Underground
I don't like Chihuahuas. I think they're yappy and neurotic... but my dislike of them translates to me simply deciding never to get one myself. I would NEVER condone cruelty to an animal, no matter how much I dislike the breed or species. I say let the punishment fit the crime. Pick that bastard up and smash HIM violently into the window so that HIS back is broken! Fuck... now I need to go to youtube and watch some golden retriever puppies to calm my rage.
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