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Ilia
in my own little world...
I love writing fantasy and retail-hell stories.
Recent Activity
Holy shit... I get wanting/needing noms on a trip, but my mom raised me to keep it contained and to throw away my own garbage.
1 reply
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I work for a tech company with a fruit-based logo, and customers will bring broken phones into the store all the time. This is not a problem! It’s what we’re here for! It’s my job to fix it! HOWEVER: if you say your camera is broken, that means I’m going to have to go through your camera roll. And that means, usually, I’m going to see dick pics. Some people are pretty brazen about their nude pictures. I saw one guy who had his wife in a very compromising position as his display background (a special mention to the man who asked me “if I took naked pictures of my girlfriend and sent them to all my friends how do I stop her from finding out I did that?”) and countless others whose cameras are just full of naked people. Please, be kind to your local tech worker! Put that stuff in a folder before you come and get your camera checked! via fuckyeahretailrobin.tumblr.com Continue reading
Posted 1 hour ago at Retail Hell Underground
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From: SammyKat I always hear the entitled masses going, "You work in retail; you should expect the Black Friday messes to be hard work!" Yes, we know as retail employees that we might have to work Black Friday. But this madness of opening up on Thanksgiving night? Give me a break! NO ONE needs a new tv that badly. I would go in to open at 4am, I'm fine with that, but 9pm on Thanksgiving? Cruel. And I think I've come to the conclusion that most of these idiots who are buying these high ticket items on the cheap at the sales aren't even Christmas shopping anyway. Most of them are buying a new 50" tv for themselves. How very in the spirit of the season. *rolls eyes* --SammyKat Continue reading
Posted 2 hours ago at Retail Hell Underground
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BassLady here... I've got a new job, but I can't think of anything else to call myself. I haven't posted in awhile, but I'm now in need of some reassurance... Anyway, after over six months of unemployment, (my exit was rather spectacular. Heh.) I got a job as a part-time seasonal character at a tourist attraction. On a mountain. For minimum wage.... Aw hell, a gig is a gig, right? I'll be earning cash-ola for presents, right? Uh, yeah.... I keep telling myself that. So now I get to squeeze my fat ass into a mini skirt and then freeze it off, directing sheeple to the obese personification of the winter solstice celebration. That's right, I have to stand outside. In costume. With NO coat; and I'm supposed to act like it's summer vacay, or something. So.... lots and LOTS of layers.... HOLY Thrognar's balls, RHU! I've lost my ever-loving MIND!! What I'm most worried about is keeping my cool if/ when some mom-zilla barks at me for telling her spawn to get off the rail from the 700-METER DROP! Or, somebody expecting to see something, but it's night, and DUH... no light. I heard that management there is great,... Continue reading
Posted yesterday at Retail Hell Underground
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Hi guys, Spawn Wrangler again, wow it's been a long time since I submitted! Now you guys may recall I work in an after-school club, keeping the little boogers entertained until their parents can pick 'em up. First bit of news; Tommy the Demon-spawn did get kicked out of the club eventually and has since left the school, much to the relief of all. (After he smacked a member of staff, another story for another time.) :) His sister still comes to club, and while she's no angel she's no worse than any other girl her age. I still can't work out how his parents messed up so badly with one and not the other! So now club is a pretty fun place, truthfully, my job rocks, it's never boring and I'm working with some of the most interesting (if slightly bonkers) people on earth! Buuuut there's this one kid... Actually, no, Alfie is a nice enough but slightly whiny little boy. Alfie's mummy on the other hand... There isn't a single member of staff she's not yelled at for some imagined slight to her or her precious babykins. We have four members of staff. 1. She works with parrots,... Continue reading
Posted yesterday at Retail Hell Underground
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From: Gabarus God I hate the "customers" who only ever want to pick a fight. We get them in the form of folks who want to think they already know everything about surround and TV equipment, and somehow, are going to try and outshine the product knowledge we salespeople (At our store anyways, NOT the F Shop or Best Bait 'n Switch) have beaten into us with golden toilet plungers on a semi-weekly basis. They also love to get pissed when you politely inform them that their "knowledge" is three years out of date, and wrong. I also had a guy once try to break our door on his exit because we couldn't simply obtain parts for his twenty five year old bookshelf speakers, and that we could only repair them for him in our service section. Aren't we bastards for servicing what we sell? --Gabarus Continue reading
Posted yesterday at Retail Hell Underground
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This fun advert was originally posted on: November 16, 2011 ----- From Dottie: I've been jobless since march and I'm seriously thinking about posting this in my developments laundry room with my phone number. It was my husbands idea, but I wrote it. It's kinda like being a whore but without sex. I hope you like it, I made it with extra comic sans and snark. --Dottie Continue reading
Posted yesterday at Retail Hell Underground
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From: KitKat Some days I love humanity. I may be out of retail but that doesn't mean I quit interacting with people. On that note, I have two quick stories about amazing humanity in general. I live in an area that could be classed as rural. It isn't uncommon in the spring and summer for the produce truck to show up nearly every week where I work and for people to sell their extra produce in the break room. Of course, there are also weekly (biweekly in the summer), farmer's markets. I frequent the one in the next town over, always say please and thank you, and offer a smile. Just by frequenting the apple seller's booth on a near weekly basis (and their orchard a few times), they stuck an extra jar of applesauce in my bag. Yes, they got a big thank you! Now for the other story. I've mentioned before that I'm gluten free, which comes into play here. There is a little local Italian restaurant with fabulous food in general. A few weeks ago, I went out to dinner, mentioned to my waitress that I was gluten free, and she switched out the menu for the... Continue reading
Posted 2 days ago at Retail Hell Underground
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From: Samus Hey RHU! Samus here wishing you all a Merry pre-Black Friday week! I'm happy to be working for one of the retailers that still find the Festival of Turkey sacred and won't be open until midnight. After that I expect to be flooded with cranky, demanding and idiotic patrons that will pretty much make me question my clearly poor employment choice. Forgive me fellow RHU'ers, but hopefully you can pass along these "rules of trading" from the home of "Power to the Players." I don't think Corporate would be too happy if I posted them at my store. If you are trading a system, and there is enough dust and grime on it that it has changed color, please consider wiping the device down and perhaps buying a 2 dollar can of air and blowing out the congested venting system. Otherwise, you can bet your sweet ass I'm gonna slap that 30 dollar refurbishment fee on it and explain why I'm doing so in front of about a billion other customers. Likewise, if the controller looks like something that either may have met a wall at high velocity due to a game-induced rage, or has allowed an animal... Continue reading
Posted 2 days ago at Retail Hell Underground
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This story was originally posted on: June 14, 2010 ------------------------- From: Maddee I'm one of those long-time lurkers who's never posted, mostly because I don't work retail (or haven't worked retail yet, I should probably say). I have a ton of friends who do, though, and an uncle who's been in retail management for years, so I hear stories of the crazy Custys who waltz into department stores and set jeans on fire... but that's another story. My biggest problem with the average grocery shopper is the sheer laziness. You know what I mean. The mom who parks her spawn and groceries in a Trailblazer and strands the grocery cart in the middle of the lot, hapless against oncoming vehicles. Or the dude who abandons his cart in the grass. This says nothing of my frustration with people who park right next to the damn cart corrals and can't be bothered to take thirty extra seconds from their day to get the cart where it belongs. So one night I parked near the side of the building, saw a stranded cart, grabbed it, and took it into the store. By the time I get back to my car, there were... Continue reading
Posted 2 days ago at Retail Hell Underground
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From: Spoofle A few weeks ago, our store was going through a major infants transition. I hate those two times of the year, because we go through infants super-fast and we're always bone dry before the new stuff comes in. A lady came up to me asking if we had a particular infant healthcare kit that was on her registry. (She had one of those post-shower coupons where you got 10% off items that weren't bought on your registry.) The scanner said there were none in the back and four in the front, but since I hadn't seen any in weeks (and I very frequently work the area), I tossed it off as the usual machine bullshit. Sometimes it'll be off by as much as ten for no real good reason, not even shoplifting, and 1 almost always means 0. They're also in one very specific spot and they hadn't gone clearance, and our returns cart had just been emptied. I apologized and told her that she'd have to see if it was online and buy it at full price. None of the stores in the area had one, and even then she wouldn't be able to use her coupon... Continue reading
Posted 2 days ago at Retail Hell Underground
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From: Book Baby Am I the only sane person left on the planet? I AVOID the stores on Black Friday! About 1 p.m., I wander over to Hellgreens and pick up a couple of things. If I see anything worth hitting Freddy's for, I MAY wander over there and then over to Wrong Aid. Malls? NO effing way! I call them the "maul" because that's the way I feel after going there. I usually sleep in, make some turkey soup and check the online deals on Friday. We may do our grocery shopping that evening after DH gets home. Mini Rant: WHY do mechanics work on Black Friday? Nobody turns loose of his/her car unless it's dead, and even then the parts houses aren't open! Why, Spongebob, WHHHYYYYY?</end mini rant> There are usually about three people in the grocery store on Black Friday. It's heavenly! My condolences to the Bullseye slaves and MalMart as well. I will NOT be there to bug you! --Book Baby Continue reading
Posted 2 days ago at Retail Hell Underground
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Greeter Bitch here after a very long day. For those of you unfamiliar with the car business, we do request some basic info from you when you enter the dealership and pair up with a salesperson. Usually, this includes the info on your driver's license (name and address) and a phone number. If you have already been to that dealership, or in contact with someone from that dealership, you are most likely already in their system. Don't panic about this. We don't sell your information; it's there for our records. If you don't want to give your info at first, that's fine. Typically we'll need your license for a test drive, so if you reach that point we'll take care of registering you then. But today, dear god, so many people were uncooperative. Multiple people came in and lied about their names. People who had BEEN HERE BEFORE and refused to give their names so I could find them in the system. Dumbasses. I'm trying to make sure you get with the salesperson you were with before so you don't have to start the car buying process from scratch. Don't tell me your name is "Steve Steve." Don't tell me... Continue reading
Posted 3 days ago at Retail Hell Underground