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Ilia
in my own little world...
I love writing fantasy and retail-hell stories.
Recent Activity
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From: RHUer Custy: "I'm in a hurry. Where are the [products]?" Me: "Unfortunately, we don't have any. We never have." Custy: "Why not?!" Me: *thinking* Wow, you think WE know the reasons behind Corporate's thinking? Me: "Um, I guess corporate didn't see it as something that was necessary for us to sell." Custy: "Well maybe you need to take some initiative and told them that customers are asking for it, maybe they'd listen!" Me: *thinking* HAHAHAHAHA! Oh god that's rich! Corporate? Listen to its workers? Lady, what are you smoking, and where can I get some? Or maybe you smoked it all and didn't leave any for the rest of us? Pffft! Me *out loud*: I'll pass it along ma'am... --RHUer Continue reading
Posted 35 minutes ago at Retail Hell Underground
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From: ColorIsn'tEverything I don't get the whole treating those in the service industry like shit mentality. Yesterday, I intervened on behalf of a wonderful barista who was working the post-church rush at Starbucks. I had stopped to get a coffee for myself on the way to my in-laws house and had popped in because the line was long. I get up to the register and think "YES!" because there was only one couple stepping up to the register in front of me. They start to order. The girl orders a latte and the guy orders a pumpkin frappuccino with five shots of espresso. I think to myself that sounds so gross but I am not a fan of pumpkin spice anything but beer. So, I order and after ordering, step aside to wait. At this point, the lady in front of me gets her bev but her BMW-driving, frat boy boyfriend is now angry. His frou-frou drink came back "too brown." The barista explains this is from the 5 shots of espresso in it. He says, "NO NOT SHOTS, YOU IGNORANT PLEBE, PUMPS!" Pumps of pumpkin spice, I guess? The barista clarifies with him and then says, "We're going to... Continue reading
Posted 4 hours ago at Retail Hell Underground
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From: AllieBrooks This is actually a verified fact. My store’s corporate training for new employees now tells them to walk around the sales floor with something in their hands; like carrying the same item from the display in the front to another display of it by the register all day. Supposedly it happens because customers see a busy salesperson and think they will be too busy to be pushy. Strange logic, but even stranger is that it seems to work! --AllieBrooks Continue reading
Posted 8 hours ago at Retail Hell Underground
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From: N/A I once went to Target to return some potato chips that were twelve months out of date. Fortunately, I had the receipt from a few days before but I still got the impression that the customer service slave thought I was pulling a fast one. It was a multipack and the outside only had the month and day. It wasn't until I took out an individual pack that I realized they actually meant LAST November. It wasn't so much about getting that cash back as getting the nasty stale product off the shelf. I ate one before I realized they were out of date and it was quite foul. --N/A Continue reading
Posted 12 hours ago at Retail Hell Underground
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From: Allie The internet is now solely comprised of lists. I've written about this phenomenon before, but I feel like I just have to give up. Buzzfeed and Thought Catalog and every rip off of the two have taken over the world one "20 Things to Do as a 20 Something before You're a 30 Something" at a time. I guess I'm not winning this battle. But after seeing several pieces with names like "How to Piss Off Your Starbucks Barista" or "Things You Shouldn't Do at Your Coffee Shop" I felt I had to throw my two cents in--mainly because these assholes got it all kinds of wrong. Particularly this one. It's all--don't say eXpresso, don't order weird stuff. Bitch, have you been a barista for three minutes? I have been doing this dumb shit for closer to a decade than I care to admit, and for the most part as long as I don't have to clean up your human waste WE ARE GOLDEN. So without further ado... SEVEN THINGS YOUR BARISTA WANTS YOU TO KNOW 1. WE'RE NOT GOING TO GO DOWN ON YOU. LIKE EVER. Lets make this clear. I know there is something super sexual... Continue reading
Posted 16 hours ago at Retail Hell Underground
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From: Raz I worked in the photo lab at a Hellmart and we had a display of photo albums next to the lab. It was our responsibility to keep it clean and straightened even though it was stocked by another department. The shelves were tilted back, so nothing could be made to stand up; which made it impossible to keep the product near the front. We’d get written up for how horrible it looked every day no matter how much work we did on it and we weren't allowed to change anything about it. I begged my department manager, her boss and the assistant manager for almost a year to let me clean it up. To let our department take over stocking it and move it to the department that does stock it. Anything would have helped. I got lucky though. I finally managed to get the Store manager himself to agree to let me change it. It went from a cluttered mess with no room, to a shelf that had three times the space just because you could actually set things upright on it. I found two products that had been recalled, one that wasn't in the system anymore... Continue reading
Posted yesterday at Retail Hell Underground
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From: Grendus Meh, I figure if you're going to bitch about having to show ID, there are ways to bypass having to show an ID... AND you could make it both quick and secure. Just add a fingerprint/palm print/iris scan/etc biometric, along with the pin. Now you have a fast two-phase authentication system for credit/debit transactions. Of course, it’s a MASSIVE violation of privacy, but at least it’s fast right? --Grendus Continue reading
Posted yesterday at Retail Hell Underground
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From: AshNoel Pet Peeve? How about the magical summoning spell that happens when you're in the middle of something? Store is dead. Not a customer in sight. Look left, then right. Nothing. Step back from register, recheck. Nothing. Grab a broom and start sweeping your area. BAM! Four people out of nowhere, and all of them want your help in finding something. It’s like they sense it. --AshNoel Continue reading
Posted yesterday at Retail Hell Underground
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From: Kryss Hell, I have returned a burned-out light bulb once. Mind you, it was a thirty-bloody-dollar LED bulb that was guaranteed for 20,000 hours plus. I didn’t take it back to the store; I called the manufacturer directly, as per the box’s instructions. (For a $30 light bulb, you’d better believe I’m keeping the packaging and receipt!) They were very sympathetic and sent me a $5 gift certificate for a chain store two and a half hours away. So, yeah, I don’t buy that brand anymore… --Kryss Continue reading
Posted yesterday at Retail Hell Underground
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From: TaTa Ria I stopped into a Fivebucks a couple weeks ago, ordered my large caramel frap. The barista stood there, cup in one hand, marker in the other, looking at me expectantly. I stared back, confused. Him: "As it comes?" Me: "Yeah." Him: "Huh, don't get that very often." --TaTa Ria Continue reading
Posted yesterday at Retail Hell Underground
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From: Mary C During the time I was in lower management I learned that corporate, in addition to expecting a certain amount in sales, also wanted us to meet a minimum UPT number. What is UPT you may ask? Units Per Transaction. Even if we sold a really expensive item, if we didn’t sell anything else with it, it would hurt the UPT. Therefore we were required to upsell something on every transaction. We had an “item of the month” to push if there was no other obvious upsell item. Usually this was something fairly inexpensive, but there were times when it just didn’t feel right. We were a pretty small store so most of the time we would sell one or two items per transaction. I used to figure the plan numbers and I found that often we would meet the sales number but not the UPT number. This always resulted in corporate chewing us out for not trying hard enough and threats of making us watch those stupid upsell videos that everyone riffed on. --Mary C Continue reading
Posted 2 days ago at Retail Hell Underground
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Janitorgirl here, I desperately need to rant-- but I'm not even sure how to start this story. My bullseye location lost five janitors and gained only one- so we have five. And now hours have been cut. This would be ok, BUT the cut is anything but fair. First we have "Cousin"- he has worked for bullseye fort over eight years and he reminds me of my cousin. He has 39 hours a week in the next 2 weeks. Next- "CC" the only other girl- she hates me; she thinks I mess up everything she does BUT she only works M-TH. The only reason I have any hours at all is because she doesn't want to work F-Sun. she has 36 hours. Funny story- 'schedule manager' said "When you clock in I need to talk to you," but I saw CC before then and she said: 1. I need you to swap shifts and 2. I put away all the supplies- don't mess with them! I said ok to both, then hours later I see the manager and he said "Oh yeah! I remember what I needed to tell you - stop messing with CC's organization." WTF?! I asked, "Are... Continue reading
Posted 2 days ago at Retail Hell Underground