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Ilia
in my own little world...
I love writing fantasy and retail-hell stories.
Recent Activity
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This story was originally posted on: November 22, 2009 ------------------------- From: Twink There are times, when working at Wal Mart is awesome. And tonight was one of those nights. I was working the Smoke Shop (the name given to the register with the tobacco products ), and around 15 minutes before my shift was to end, a couple of punks walked up to the register. Before the guy in front of them could even finish paying, one of them said "Pack of Newport 100's, and make it quick we're in a mother fuckin hurry got it?" The following conversation took place: ME: "Got your ID?" CUSTOMER #1: "Yeah, I got my ID" CUSTOMER #2: "We both got our fuckin ID's so we're straight" ME: "Watch the language please" CUSTOMER #2: "Why?" ME: "Because it's rude and disrespectful, and I don't appreciate it" CUSTOMER #2: "Why you gotta be such a bitch about it? If we both got our fuckin ID's and the money to pay for our shit, the rest don't matter" CUSTOMER #1: "Yeah" ME: "Last warning, either cut the trash talk, or find somewhere else to buy your smokes" CUSTOMER #2: "This is fucked up bullshit" **unknown to... Continue reading
Posted 3 hours ago at Retail Hell Underground
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From: Meg I love it when we get a customer who claims that they talked to the manager, but can never tell us who they talked to, and they can never describe them with any accuracy. That happens all the time at my store! We ask what color hair. One manager has hers blue, one has hers pink, and mine is green. Its kinda hard to forget. I love being told, “He had dark hair and glasses.” It is always a desperate shot in the dark, you can tell! --Meg Continue reading
Posted 7 hours ago at Retail Hell Underground
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From: Deathstare I had an elderly gentleman ask me, while I was on the register, to extract his wallet from his back pocket for him. I can imagine how that looked on the security tape. Another time a lady called and asked if we had a certain dog toy that neighed like a horse. I told her we did, but that wasn't enough. She asked me to hold it up to the phone and let her hear it. Then she started crying and said that was her dog's favorite toy. --Deathstare Continue reading
Posted 11 hours ago at Retail Hell Underground
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From: Alex Most of our state was out of power last summer. The electric companies said there would be no power for a week! Did that close the store? Hell no! The management still made our key staff come in, for eight hour shifts. The 'best' part: in ninety degree weather, with no running water. --Alex Continue reading
Posted yesterday at Retail Hell Underground
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Hey all, Delivery Bitch here. I’ve been promoted to delivery and kitchen hand, which brings in a whole new level of hell. If you’re ever ordering any sort of food to be delivered, please adhere to the following: 1) Give us the right phone number. Yeah, simple I know. We need it so if we have a problem or are running late or can’t find you, then we call. If we don’t have your phone number well, then no delivery for you. Our system is set up so a phone number can find if you have ordered before or have special instructions. We cannot process a delivery without a number. 2) Give us the right address. That's it. Just give us the right address. 3) Ensure you have a way to pay! We don’t accept gold bars, marijuana, cigarettes or anything in lieu of cash. If you need the eftpos machine, tell the order taker. Our drivers make the call whether to leave your order with you with a promise to pay within 24 hours (remembering that we have your name, address and phone number), or bring the whole thing back to the store. 4) Remember your pin code if... Continue reading
Posted yesterday at Retail Hell Underground
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This story was originally posted on: November 17, 2009 ------------------------- From: Atombomb1945 One rather normally warm June afternoon I had a customer walk into my little branch of Retail Hell. At this time I was working in a local electronics store in a strip mall. The worst part about this job was that it was just a mile down the road from the “well to do” housing areas. This customer was obviously one of them. She came in and wandered around the store for a while finally deciding that she wanted a cell phone. The carrier she picked required a credit check and a small stack of paper work to be filled out by the customer. It was painfully obvious after about two minutes that she did not want to continue with this and became fidgety. She kept asking if she just couldn’t take the phone and we could just make some information up for the paper work. I tried to assure her that we didn’t have that much longer to go, but it was obvious that she did not want to be there. I should mention at this time that we had about five other customers in the store,... Continue reading
Posted yesterday at Retail Hell Underground
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Freckles here to let the uninitiated in on a secret. When you ask anyone in retail or service to check "the back," to us that's a free 3-5 min break. I, and every single other person I've ever worked with, used that time to do one of several things... I.e.; sitting with our feet up, having a snack, texting, making a phone call, hiding, tweeting, etc. Basically if you send one of us slaves to the back you just gave us a bonus five minute break. So, thanks. I've never gotten pissy about going into the stock room. Sometimes, shit gets thrown too, just to let off some steam. Understand, your size ain't in the back but; my food, beverage and phone are. --Freckles Continue reading
Posted yesterday at Retail Hell Underground
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From: Head Shop Heathen We used to display a tattoo book on our counter that had a picture of a man with a devil tattoo on his lower torso and the tongue of the devil going down the shaft of his penis. We would regularly have a man call up the store to ask about the book and this tattoo in particular just so he could get me to say "shaft" and "penis" to him. I did it for him just because it would make me laugh. --Head Shop Heathen Continue reading
Posted yesterday at Retail Hell Underground
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From: RHUer Seriously some people can’t just do basic math. Worse, they don't even try to conceal their inability. Most people, if they can't math, just use a small calculator or the one in their smart phone. Someone once asked me how much an item was at 90% off. Well, if it’s 90% off, you’re only paying 10%. Move the decimal. People just don’t want to think anymore! --RHUer Continue reading
Posted 2 days ago at Retail Hell Underground
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From: Dee Having an inventory company come in never made sense to me. You HAVE to hire an inventory company because you can’t have your own staff count your merchandise. Then you have your staff pre-count the merchandise, so the inventory company can get the job done quickly. Oh and then you have your staff double check the inventory crew’s count anyway. Sounds like triple the work to me. --Dee Continue reading
Posted 2 days ago at Retail Hell Underground
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Today we are honored to present Sugarveins the grand Retail Balls Award, not for laying a smackdown on someone, but for cleverly and cleanly ending a neverending stream of prank calls! Here's the story! ------------------------- Hello there! It's Sugarveins again. I wanted to discuss several phone pet peeves I didn't even know I had until I started working retail. Every once in a while I'll be stuck back in my Hell-mart electronics department that includes a minimum of three other departments to stock and phone duties. I'll always answer the same way. "Thank you for calling your local 24 hour (city) Hell-mart! This is the electronic department how can I assist you today?" And about 75% of the time the very first thing I hear is "Are yas open?" The other 25% is "Yeah, can you transfer me to the electronic department?" How hard is it to listen to my greeting that not only answers your question, but tells you which unfortunate soul is loosing precious stocking time to help you find an item we don't even carry in the store? And most calls are from in the store from customers who demand I magically make more cashiers appear. Sorry... Continue reading
Posted 2 days ago at Retail Hell Underground