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Ilia
in my own little world...
I love writing fantasy and retail-hell stories.
Recent Activity
The feels! This is one of the few stories that help my faith in humanity recover a bit.
1 reply
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From: Cakky We were somewhat more busy than expected at my clothing and outdoor goods store today, and I was running around greeting customers, helping them find items, and ringing out transactions. My store is in a ski resort area, and many people came up from out of state for the long weekend to have one "last blast" before the ski season ends. Unfortunately, the weather didn't cooperate. As a result, our mall had lots of bored browsers who came to shop today because there's nothing else to do in a small ski town in March, when it's raining. Due to the weird weather, we were slightly understaffed, and trying hard to provide service to everyone, but we could barely keep up. During my running around, I'm pretty sure that I interacted with the customer I'll soon tell you about while I was on the sales floor, but we were really busy. Nothing about any prior interaction I may have had with her stuck out to me as unusual. So this customer approaches the cash wrap, and I run over to ring her out. She was alone, dressed in a ski parka and denim, pretty normal for our clientele. She was about 50, reasonably well-spoken and nice, and I engaged her in some small talk while I rung up her purchases. Our POS system has an annoying quirk, as many do. We have to verbally give the total when the total screen pops up, but the customer can't just use their card at the moment that I announce the total. We have to hit a button for credit/debit, gift card, or cash. But once we hit that tender button, the total amount due disappears. So I've developed the habit of saying something like, "OK, so your total is $146.14 will... Continue reading
Posted 4 days ago at Retail Hell Underground
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From: IsaacAsimovsSideburn I worked as a cashier at the college bookstore for three and a half years. Necessary background: I had just recently started dating someone new, and he had gotten me into watching NBA and following the local NBA team (I live in a major city). I've never been a big sports person, so I was surprised to find that I really enjoyed watching and that I quickly picked up on the players and different stats. It was a Saturday afternoon, and things were slow. I was the only one on register, and Saturdays were usually lightly staffed anyway. Everyone else was in the back filling online orders and restocking the textbooks. A middle aged man came in and started browsing the apparel section. I greeted him, and mentally classified him as "dad killing time waiting for his college aged child to meet up with him." Eventually he picked out a few sweatshirts and came up to the counter. I gave him the spiels - how to return if it doesn't fit, etc. He was pleasant enough, and said thank you. Then he handed his credit card to me to swipe. I noticed that it was a custom card with the colors and logo of the local NBA team and I got really excited. My entire life up to that point, I had never been able to make small talk about sports because I never knew anything about it. This was my big chance! I could finally engage with someone about sports and be knowledgeable! What great customer service! What a wonderful day! Me: "How about those [basketball team], huh? That game last night was incredible! [Star player] did such a great job, it was awesome to see him break his record!" Customer: [gives me a really dirty look]... Continue reading
Posted 4 days ago at Retail Hell Underground
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From: quasiix I had to put a woman on hold for over five minutes (this is a long time in food service land). When I picked up the phone I apologized for the hold and asked if it was carry out or delivery and got all relevant information. Then I asked what she wanted to order. W- "I just gave you my whole order." Me- "I'm sorry ma'am, you only told me your address information." W- "Before that! I gave you my order before you asked about delivery." Me- "Uh...You were on hold then." After an awkward silence, she gave me her order and luckily was not angry. I just never realized how one-sided conversations are for some people. --quasiix Continue reading
Posted 4 days ago at Retail Hell Underground
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From: gambino_girl It was around 3 pm and the drive thru at work was packed. I had at least ten orders on screen and a few more I couldn't see. I was the presenter (the person who hands you the food) and we were short handed all day, so I was running and packing orders for myself. Long story short, it was fucking busy. As a rule, I can't take orders at my window. It slows shit down and I don't have an open register at my window. So this woman pulls up and says "I wanna add an apple pie" Me: "I'm sorry I can't take orders at this window." Bitch: [instant attitude] "Why not??" I explain politely the rules and that we are busy. Bitch: :That's fucking stupid I wanna speak to a manager, go ask her!" Manager says the same shit I did. I relay the message. Bitch: "Nah, that's bullshit where is she?" Me: "Ma'm she is over there and very busy at the moment. You can come in and order if you like." Meanwhile I'm being yelled at for my drive not moving. Bitch: "Lemme speak to her." Finally I'm just like fuck this. This bitch is slowing me down and I don't wanna fight the battle. I ask my manager if I can just give her the pie so she'll leave. As I hand the pie out the window, I just say, "Here you can have the pie have a nice day." And in the most obnoxious way possible this bitch says, "That's what the fuck I'm talking about!!" Me: "Yeah, you're a great person for that" Bitch: "FUUUUCCKK OFF!" as she drives away. It wasn't the whole pie incident so much as she caused a fucking scene for a 75 cent pie. I... Continue reading
Posted 4 days ago at Retail Hell Underground
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From: wolf156 We have a lot of religious crazies on our town. One guy loves to sit on the street corner screaming at anyone who walks by that they're gonna burn, or screaming words like "whore" or "slut" to any woman that walks by until the cops come and chase him off. Another one just hangs around using religion to threaten people for things he wants (i.e. money or cigarettes). Him: "Hey can I bum a cigarette and a dollar?" Shop Owner: "I don't smoke, and I don't have a dollar. You also can't sit in front of my store doing this." Him: "Fuck you! You're gonna burn you son of a bitch! The judgement is coming for you and you're gonna burn!!" Every now and then, however, one of them comes into my shop. I was running the store one Sunday, and I had just opened when a family walks in with their three kids. I open with the pleasantries: "Hey guys. Hows it going? Ya'll wanna see some magic we just got in?" The kids light up. They're excited. Then dad steps in... Dad: "NO! We would not like to see any MAGIC! Because WE ALL KNOW THAT MAGIC IS THE TOOL OF THE DEVIL AND THOSE THAT PRACTICE THE DARK ARTS WILL BURN FOREVER IN THE FIERY PITS OF HELL COME JUDGEMENT DAY!" He made sure to scream it loud enough so people outside of the shop could hear him ranting. After looking at him in dead silence for a moment, I turned around; ignoring him and went right into showing his kids magic. He dragged them out of the store because he wasn't getting enough attention. A more recent incident happened just last week. A mother comes in with two kids and she's talking to them... Continue reading
Posted 4 days ago at Retail Hell Underground
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Used to work in a book store. After we closed, we would collect all the books (called discards) people didn`t put back onto the shelves and put them at the front so the opening employees would put them away. I was opening after a Teachers Day event (teachers get 30% off books) and these were the discards we had to put away... --ateddybear Continue reading
Posted 4 days ago at Retail Hell Underground
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From: Cakky I have logged 20+ years as a retail manager, mostly as a GM or Store Manager. About 20 years ago, my now ex-husband was transferred from New England to the Phoenix, AZ area. I had to give up my store manager position at a family-owned boutique in Metro Boston to move out west, and had to try to quickly find employment within my skill set. In 2006, airlines were dying for retail managers to become flight attendants. I had no connections in the area, but due to my experience as a fast food manager as a teenager, plus my experience as a GM in retail, I was very quickly hired as a flight attendant. I did this for three years, then reluctantly moved back to New England, and found work again as a retail GM. Performing this job called upon my retail skills (selling headsets and pushing the airline credit card), as well as my time management skills I'd learned in fast food, as I had to prep and cook meals for my First Class customers. I also had to pick up trash for everyone, which is where this story plays out. M=me; C=customer. I hope that those of you in retail get a kick out of this one. M: (Walking down the aisle) Anything I can take? Any trash? Any trash? C: (yanking on my sleeve...Yes, this happened ALL THE TIME) Excuse me, miss? What time is it? Now we were flying from the west coast to the east coast, or vice-versa. I don't remember. Let's pretend we're flying from LA to NYC. We're an hour and a half into the flight. M: Well, on LA time, it's (X o'clock). In NYC, it's (Y o'clock). I like to set my watch to the time zone in my... Continue reading
Posted 5 days ago at Retail Hell Underground
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From: AnnoyedNinja Remembering my first year as a Cart Ninja at everyone's favorite retailer, I always tell the new guys who take on the lot this story. A customer wanted a carryout of a Television. Standard fare, as those can be quite bulky and/or cumbersome to some people. As I was wheeling out the 65" television for the customer to their car, it dawed on me what they were driving. A Bug. (That's a volkswagen beetle) I took one look at the trunk and the (lack of) backseat, stared the customer in the eye, and said.. "Unless this is secretly the TARDIS, it's not going to happen! We can hold this for you until you come back with a truck, or another vehicle." Thankfully, they did come back with a truck that could safely hold what they wanted. Makes me wonder, how can a customer forget what they're driving? --AnnoyedNinja Continue reading
Posted 5 days ago at Retail Hell Underground
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(Urban Dictionary: Ridin' dirty - driving in an automobile while having at least a felony charge worth of illegal drugs and or unregistered firearms with you.) --buzzfeed.com Continue reading
Posted 5 days ago at Retail Hell Underground
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From: RansomedSquirrel Maybe it’s just me but I hate the “sale” system that’s so prevalent. Some retailers have a standard price that’s reasonable, and occasionally they put things on sale to drive customers. This is fine. The other method, that I hate and see right through, is the “everything is on sale all the time" mentality. …. (I’m looking at you, Kohl’s!) All this does is obscure the real worth of the goods. At the grocery store, if the price is regularly $3 for something, you know that’s roughly what it’s “worth,” or at least a fair market value. If it’s on sale, you’re getting a deal. At AllOnSaleMart, you’d be paying too much if it’s not on sale. To make a long story short…. if everything is on sale, then nothing is. --RansomedSquirrel Continue reading
Posted 5 days ago at Retail Hell Underground
Posted 5 days ago at Retail Hell Underground
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From: GiveMeYourUpvotesPlz Hey my retail brethren! I'm here with a tail of woe and sweet justice delivered. During this particular incident I was on the customer side of the register and not the working side. So it was a nice sunny day in Edinburgh and I was on my way to my Little sister's work place to drop off some lunch for her like the good big brother I am. Lets call my sister Vicki. Vicki works in a high end clothing and house decoration shop and I have heard many stories of the entitled snobs she deals with on a daily basis, that's the huge difference with my work and her's, I deal with Chavs (Thugs for any one who doesn't know the word) and general everyday idiots, she works with rich idiots. I've never seen one of these morons before, until this day. So I walk in and Vicki's all smiles and sunshine so I imagine her shift has been a tad shitty at this point as she's more than happy to get on her lunch break and we go outside to chill on the grass and enjoy the rare bit of sunshine we're getting. So me and Vicki are chattering away when Uptight Rich Bitch, URB for short walks up to the two of us and slams her bags down in front of us giving vicki a death stare and unleashes the following volley of verbal diarrhea at her. Vicki has her name badge off and eating which is the universal sign in the work place for leave me the fuck alone I'm not working at this current point in time but that doesn't stop this uppity old bat. URB: "Just what do you think you're doing?" Vicki: "Having my lunch break?" URB: "You weren't having it... Continue reading
Posted 5 days ago at Retail Hell Underground
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From: mochalattemacchiato Setting: I work in a coffee shop that operates inside a big box store. Lady With FEELINGS comes up, orders, and pays. "Keep the change!" says she. "I appreciate the offer," says I, "but I can't accept tips because I'm actually employed by [big box store], not [coffee shop]. Thanks, though!" This stock response generally mollifies people. Not Lady With FEELINGS, however. "OH MY," she says, and clicks her tongue. "No tips??! OH MYYYY." I'm smiling awkwardly and hurrying through her order; there's a line forming behind her and I'm getting uncomfortable. She's the only one concerned here. I'M not bothered by not getting tips. And even if I were, I wouldn't be telling customers about it while I'm on the clock! So I just want to get her out of there asap. I hand her her order. She looks straight at me, and says: "I bet you can't even say 'Merry Christmas' here!" Fun fact: It's SEPTEMBER. Also, I'm not religious in the slightest. I say "Merry Christmas" around Christmastime, because that's the name of the holiday, but if someone says something else to me, I'll happily repeat it back to them. Because that seems to be the polite way around it. This would clearly not be the correct thing to say to Lady With FEELINGS, though. So I say, "Well, no one's told me I can't, hahaha! Uh, have a great day, ma'am!" And she stalks off, still clucking at my apparently-shameful working conditions. Man, I had no idea I was being tortured so horribly... :p --mochalattemacchiato Continue reading
Posted 5 days ago at Retail Hell Underground