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I'm kinda jealous I didn't think of this first. Continue reading

You're welcome. Continue reading

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Because most of their "suggestions" would be to fire us slaves because we were "rude" for not reading their non-existent minds (or some other stupid bullshit). Continue reading

And her brother Ura Jackhoff. Continue reading

...that this picture was taken by the idiot parents of this idiot kid, who thought this was cute, and instead of picking up every thing their little genetic mistake pulled down, left the mess there for some poor slave to clean up, all the while laughing how cute little snookums was? I hate to say this, but I hope this kid grows up to be an underappreciated retail slave who has to deal with kids just like him. Continue reading

I found myself doing this at Wal-Mart the other day when I was looking for pants. Continue reading

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So many new additions to the RHU Dictionary from my fellow RHUers. Here are some of the new definitions. Assbasket: Someone who's such an ass that they are equivalent to an entire basket full of asses. (Spritzy) Idiot trail: The trail of sample cups, tissues, broken cookies, go-backs, empty packages, etc. left behind by thieves, hellspawn, lazies; in general, idiots. (Riferous) Coiner: (Plural: coiners) 1. The type of custy who insists on paying you with as many coins as they can. Especially those who insist on paying large amounts with coins. 2. The type who asks you if you can open your drawer to give them quarters (or some other type of coin denomination.) Even if you can't officially open the drawer for non-sale transactions, they still beg you. (Sales Agent Guy) Retail Whore: You love retail! You feel right at home and believe that you have found your dream career. (Dear God, we were naive in those days). Your coworkers are awesome. (Until you've actually worked with them.) Your boss is cool. (Who the hell turned loose the evil clone?) And the customers are friendly. (Right up until that ONE walked through the door and shattered everything like an... Continue reading

I found them all, can you? Continue reading

This is right up there with the people who ask you to find "the book with the blue cover that was on Oprah last week", or people who are looking for "a blue shirt". Continue reading

... get the new guy to clean it up, I'm going on my break. Continue reading

Been waiting to see if I had any further inspiration, I haven't so here is a mini Retail Slaves Wish List. The "fun size" version if you will. Reverse discount: If a customer opens the box and then demands takes an unopened one, or if a customer intentionally damages a product (the offenders will be caught on the AI security cameras from a previous wish list) trying to get a discount, they'll get one. A reverse discount. Opened boxes will be charged a reverse discount of 10% added to the purchase price (and they'll be forced to buy the opened product), intentionally damaged merchandise will be charged a 50% reverse discount, and of course the damaged merchandise will have to be purchased with a no return policy. How will we reinforce that you ask? NO RETURNS stamped on the item in the same ink used in permanent markers. In several places. Change gun: Sick and tired of people paying for a $5 item with a $100 bill first thing in the morning, or using a c-note for something that costs $5 at any time of day. This handy device will show them the error of their ways by showering them... Continue reading

Check out more of the "Retail" comic strip here. Continue reading

This explains why so many crustys and custo-monsters come into our stores with their shitty attitudes and try to ruin our days. Continue reading

Some days I wonder about the management at my store. A few weeks ago I was scheduled to open for the first time, with no training and no trainer. I tell the opening manager I've never opened before, what do I do. She looked surprised, but gave me the ten second "here's what you do", and I ended up messing one register up (not that bad. I counted it but wrote it in the wrong place on the paperwork). Tonight I'm scheduled my first night closing, again with no training or trainer. Got the ten second "here's what you do". Just hope I didn't mess one up. You'd think they'd know who's trained to do what and not schedule an untrained employee to count registers. Not only did I deal with idiot management tonight, I had a couple real gems of custys. The first one of my night did not believe the register did the math correctly because she was under-estimating the prices and over-estimating her % off coupon. She had a couple bras, on sale for $20 each and there was a coupon worth $10 off $30 intimates. She had some clearance jewelry, a couple at $2.40 and one... Continue reading

I really, really want to know the story behind this. Continue reading

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Someone mentioned customers like this on the FB page. Continue reading

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Some days I like my job. And some days I wish I was thin and pretty enough to have married for money. I normally don't work Thursdays, but I agreed to work three hours extra this week on Thursday - the slowest hours at the library. Sadly that was also when a man we all call Loud Mouth showed up with a friend. His friend was a full blown conspiracy theorist minus his tinfoil hat. The first thing Tin Foil did was come up to me and invite me to see his "private library" of "declassified FBI files." He prattled on to me about Nazi experiments on Plum Island conducted by the American government on mind control. How Presidents George Bush Sr and Bill Clinton both received large shipments of cocaine via airplanes while in the White House and how they both used White Water to launder the money. He'd walk away for a bit and I'd try to engage other patrons in conversation to keep him at bay. Finally one of the librarians noticed what was going on and sent me to the back room until both Loud Mouth and Tin Foil were gone. Today I received a phone... Continue reading

Welcome to the RHU Dictionary. The following words and terms are those which have been used over the years here in RHU. Also included will be new words and terms you can use in your submissions to describe the customers, co-workers and managers who make our lives hell. This is by no means a comprehensive list (nor is it in alphabetical order), and more words and terms will be added as necessary. If you have any ideas feel free to submit them, and they'll be added. Retail Slave: Us. Those of us who work retail as a means to an end. Because we have bills to pay, and mouths to feed. If you like your job that's great, but really, dealing with stupid, mean spirited custys, idiot co-workers and useless managers can make you feel like a slave, doing maximum work for minimum benefit. Crustomer(crusty): A portmanteau of cranky (or crabby) and customer (custy). These "people" have nothing better to do than annoy us at every turn with stupid questions, and an inability to understand even simple instructions, making what should only take a few minutes feel like hours. Custo-monster: Worse than a crusty, custo-monsters are miserable people who feel... Continue reading

I had my first attempted NAT at my new store. This woman and her daughter come in and orders a couple of sandwiches. Now, we're doing a national promo, all footlongs $5 except for the Steak & Cheese, the Chicken Bacon Ranch, and the Roast Beef. Those three are $6 footlongs. She claims that a manager told her that the Steak & Cheese was supposed to be $5, not $6. It's like, really? I tell her that our national promo says it's $6, and our registers are programmed for it to ring up at $6. When I press her on who it was, she's vague and says, "That manager guy". Needless to say, no $5 Steak & Cheese sandwich for her, because I tell her to take it up with that manager in the morning. However, she did buy like 4 kids meal bags, and a dozen cookies that we had to bake up just for her because it was late and we don't bake cookies after 8:30 pm or so typically. (This store closes at 10). Weirdest attempted NAT ever, for me. -qygibo Continue reading