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Awesomeness
Los Angeles
Recent Activity
Oh, Suzanne, hugs to you. I am so sorry. That is just heartbreaking. I can understand not wanting to go back just yet to start any discussions. Give your heart time to heal. XO thanks so all for the good wishes. I'm trying not to think about it too much right now, since we're just waiting for the time that the transfer can happen.
Toggle Commented Jan 15, 2014 on Three. Two. One. at Too Much Awesomeness
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I adore that you both are offering me wine and cake and ice cream! Women after my own (broken!) heart. My heart is sad, but having people who understand helps.
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Thank you so much, Suzanne. I really appreciate it. I know how you feel about being afraid to talk to someone about it, and it was definitely hard. But then I realized that I'm more scared of not having the conversation!
Toggle Commented Aug 29, 2013 on Tomorrow at Too Much Awesomeness
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Suzanne, totally! I am gorging myself on peaches now, because it makes me so sad that I won't have them for another year! They are they best!
Toggle Commented Aug 29, 2013 on And so we wait at Too Much Awesomeness
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Jen, I have been thinking of you so much the past week. I look forward to more updates. Sending love to you, your new baby, and always to Anja.
Toggle Commented May 5, 2013 on You Are Always With Me at Too Much Awesomeness
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Suzanne, I know exactly what you mean about becoming more isolated. I haven't held a baby since. I told myself that I wouldn't hold another baby until it was my baby. At the time, I didn't think I'd still be waiting with this much time. Sigh. Sadie, You are right, that it does change your view and you learn to face things that you'd never have imagined what you could bear.
Toggle Commented May 5, 2013 on Is letting go possible? at Too Much Awesomeness
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I do think we'll look someday. I just don't know when that will be. In a way, I almost wish we hadn't waited so long. I can't imagine what will happen if there aren't footprint, handprints, pictures. I think I would fall apart. I'm pretty sure there aren't pictures of us holding her, but I'm also pretty sure that there are pictures of her. Ugh. Yes, I, too, focused on her face. In the shock, what else can we do. The best we can. But with hindsight, how can it be good enough. How can the short time we spend with our babies be long enough, when it should have been our lifetimes. I've thought about jewelry for her ashes as well. I just can't imagine opening up her ashes and putting them in. All these things that we should never have to think of.
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Allmyprettyones, I love Brooke's blog. I've been reading that as well. I definitely didn't bond with everything, but it really meant a lot to me. Greg, you're right - it was nice to have the sadness and the happiness mixed. Most of the other books I found were clinical, and those didn't feel helpful to me. I needed to hear someone's story instead of reading a description of grief. It definitely helped me get through.
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Oh, thank you, Suzanne. I love doing it, it's really calming to my mind. And I can follow instructions like nobody's business!
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March, We were seriously considering naming our little girl Anya, I think the Russian variation of Anja. It's my husband's beloved grandmother's name. I love seeing it in your posts. Thanks for the hugs. Oh, how I hate the wondering and guilt. Suzanne, I wish so much that I had a recording of that heartbeat. We do have the videos of the ultrasound, but I haven't been able to watch them. I think I'd fall apart at this point. Thanks for the hugs, too. Some days are tough to be thankful for, but I'm trying. And some days trying is the best I can do!
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March, I wish I could send you some donut muffins. They're ridiculously delicious. Thank you so much for thinking of Margaret - I miss her so much, but it makes me feel better knowing that other people send her good thoughts sometimes too.
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Thank you so much, Suzanne. I started getting sadder around the new year. The holidays & moving into 2013 hit me hard. I wanted to try to remind myself every day of something good because I feel like it would be so very easy for me to slip in a pool of darkness right now. I miss her so very much. But I want to try to remember that there are good things too.
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I love Bunheads. Just subscribed so I can join in the chatter - although I rarely watch anything in real time, so I'll be the one commenting days after the show airs. Amy S-P's response bugs me for many reasons, the main one being she's making it about women not supporting women. I don't think that just because a TV show was created by a woman means that no other woman can ever criticize it, or it makes them anti-woman. That's ridiculous nonsense. We should really focus on how adorable Sutton Foster is. National treasure, say I.
Toggle Commented Jun 18, 2012 on Bunheads Chatter Chorus at GWENDA BOND
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Thank you. And right back at you, for the strength & peace.
Toggle Commented May 30, 2012 on I Miss Her at Too Much Awesomeness
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Thank you all so much for your kind words. It's been such a difficult journey, these past 10 weeks, but knowing that others have been through it and survived has helped sustain me.
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Mar 15, 2010
Loves it! Our puppers jumps up everywhere, but I'm pretty sure in her enthusiasm, she'd tip over a hammock! This makes me want to be home curled up with a doggie and a book!
Toggle Commented May 15, 2009 on We have strict rules around here. at Posie Gets Cozy