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Longmont, CO
I counsel in Longmont, Colorado and we host marriage intensives in the nearby Rocky Mountains
Interests: Author of Betrayed and Betrayer: Rescuing your marriage after the affair. Triathlon, reading, writing, food, granddaughter, golf
Recent Activity
This is a true story from years ago. Christmas is a hard time for many. The last evening class of the fall semester was over. I felt a warm sense of accomplishment and relief as I turned away from the... Continue reading
Posted 3 days ago at Marriages Restored
The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places. ~Ernest Hemingway Continue reading
Posted Dec 5, 2017 at Marriages Restored
Now more than ever it is important to be intentional in your marriage. Technology, careers, and marrying later make connecting and doing life together more difficult than in previous times. Not marrying at all and infidelity are on the rise.... Continue reading
Posted Dec 1, 2017 at Marriages Restored
Betrayed and Betrayer: Rescuing Your Marriage After The Affair is now on sale in the UK for £1.99. This sale lasts from today all the way until Dec 1! Have some friends in a struggling marriage? Let them know about... Continue reading
Posted Nov 24, 2017 at Marriages Restored
Are you looking for a way out? Maybe you chronically get lost in pornography, could be every day or every so often. Perhaps you're in an affair or a series of affairs from which you just can't seem to break... Continue reading
Posted Nov 21, 2017 at Marriages Restored
That's hard C.J. Your perseverance is incredible! As challenging as it is I admire you ability to stay with it.
1 reply
Being Chosen is an important aspect of emotional intimacy in marriage. Check out this seen from Family Man with Nicholas Cage (Jack) and Tea Leoni (Kate). Former lovers, Jack is long lost in a selfish pursuit of money, power and... Continue reading
Posted Nov 13, 2017 at Marriages Restored
Hey Too Weak, That is really heartbreaking. You are asking lots of good questions of God. Keep in mind God punishing us is not mentioned in the New Testament. Prayers for you each moment of each day.
Toggle Commented Nov 12, 2017 on How We Can Help at Marriages Restored
1 reply
$1.99 November 2nd $3.99 November 3rd $5.99 November 4th and 5th On Amazon. Kindle Version. Hope for hurting couples. Continue reading
Posted Nov 1, 2017 at Marriages Restored
We are in some good company today on the Best Sellers list for Marriage & Long-Term Relationships. I feel honored to be on the same page with Milan and Kay Yerkovich, Gary Thomas, Shaunti Feldhahn, and H. Norman Wright. May... Continue reading
Posted Oct 30, 2017 at Marriages Restored
Our book, Betrayed and Betrayer is helping many couples here in the US and in Europe. We feel grateful that the trouble we mucked through, and our experience as counselors and ministers, shines light on the darkness for couples in... Continue reading
Posted Oct 24, 2017 at Marriages Restored
In former times I had the privilege to facilitate a sexual abuse recovery group for women. I saw many miracles through my time in those groups. I was changed as were the women. Here is the story of the final... Continue reading
Posted Oct 16, 2017 at Marriages Restored
It's a classic tactic for abusers to totally isolate their victim from others who love them. That appears to be what is happening here. It's a highly dysfunctional relationship for a man to control a woman's every move. Love isn't about keeping a woman on the side. It will take courage on your part to act. You have to decide if you want things to change. I know it is hard. Please pray about at least calling a shelter and getting input on the situation.
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Confused, I'm concerned about your situation. I encourage you to go to a local women's shelter (without telling the pastor) to talk through your situation. If action needs to be taken they can assist you in developing a plan.
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Hi Confused. Thanks for your comment. I'm glad you've reached out. All of his isolating of you is not a good thing. You've got to find another person to talk to. His behavior is unhealthy and quite possibly abusive. If he was going to leave his wife for you most likely he would have done it by now. Find a counselor, pastor or trusted friend or women's shelter and get their perspective. And reestablish contact with your children if they are open to it. What kind of man would not encourage a mom to have a relationship with her kids? Are you still married?
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Too weak, I think you are anything but that. This is a traumatic situation finding your spouse involved in that much deception. You aren't crazy. All the lies she has told you has made your world seem unstable and it takes a while for your soul to catch up. It's tough to not keep asking tons of questions given the secrecy. Do know that the fewer sexual details you know the clearer the pathway to reconciliation and forgiveness is. Most likely they are having sex and once she admits to that the fewer questions the better. The bigger questions are what is going on in her that she is acting this way and is there anything in the relationship with you she would like changed. Prayers for you. It's a very tough spot you are in.
Toggle Commented Sep 25, 2017 on How We Can Help at Marriages Restored
1 reply
Michael at The Aspen Counseling Group (where I am now seeing clients part-time) shared this article. The author has many insightful ideas about the good desires that often precipitate an affair. She is clear that it is best to address... Continue reading
Posted Sep 18, 2017 at Marriages Restored
I came across a previous post that links to an article on infidelity. Though technology has advanced, it still has applications today. A friend tipped me off to this article on affairs in Newsweek. In The Secret Lives of Wives,they... Continue reading
Posted Aug 29, 2017 at Marriages Restored
From my reading this morning. Our first step is to receive. Continue reading
Posted Aug 28, 2017 at Marriages Restored
My mother-in-law takes everyone on a trip. She flew with me to play golf in Scotland. Actually, Ann came too and they toured castles, gardens and a whisky (you know it's from Scotland if there is no e in whiskey)... Continue reading
Posted Aug 24, 2017 at Marriages Restored
Thanks so much Valeria!
1 reply
I'd like to share another piece from Winn Collier's, Love Big Be Well. Jonas shares in a letter about his relationship with his uncle, Ben. One early summer morning they hopped the fence and took a swim in the pool... Continue reading
Posted Aug 23, 2017 at Marriages Restored
Liquid leaked down my cheeks during each of the first two chapters of Love Big Be Well. I spent twelve years on staff at two churches, in this book Winn Collier reaches into my heart and pulls on some of... Continue reading
Posted Aug 21, 2017 at Marriages Restored
Betrayed and Betrayer: Rescuing Your Marriage After The Affair by Ben and Ann Wilson Continue reading
Posted Aug 18, 2017 at Marriages Restored
This is a repost from quite a while ago. It still receives quite a few hits from google so I'm reposting it. My friend Jennifer recently shared about her emotional affair with a former pastor. She shares bravely concerning the... Continue reading
Posted Aug 17, 2017 at Marriages Restored