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Catherine Toyooka & Catherine Coaches
Silicon Valley
I am a real kick in the pants, amuse myself greatly, and am almost never appropriate!
Interests: Never taking myself too seriously, People watching, Napping, Live stand up comedy, Movies **I have decided to NOT post nudity & explicit visuals on my blog. However, some might find it not suitable for work viewing**
Recent Activity
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I can hardly believe it's been just over 3 months since Eric has passed away. I took a break from writing because just getting through one day seemed like a monumental feat. The closest analogy to describing what my early-day grief felt like is that I felt like a patient... Continue reading
Posted Jan 31, 2017 at Widowedat45
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I've been spending a lot of my days reading about grief. Self-help books, autobiographies, practical workbooks, etc. I've come to the conclusion that all this information makes my head feel like it's about to explode. Out of maybe a dozen books, only one or two have resonated with me. Oddly... Continue reading
Posted Dec 15, 2016 at Widowedat45
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Grief absolutely sucks. Losing my husband at 45 sucks. But do you want to know what really, really sucks? Most people don't realize that the process of grief can last not months, but years. Years! I've been doing a lot of reading on the subject and most people report to... Continue reading
Posted Dec 9, 2016 at Widowedat45
I know, I know, I haven't posted in well over a year. What can I say? My life has been more than a little chaotic. This post both serves as my final blog entry for Catherine Coaches and to introduce you to my newest blog Widowedat45. If you are as smart as I think you are, then you caught that I am now a widow. My husband passed away at the end of October, 2016. So what does that mean for me? It pretty much means that my life is a huge barrel of SUCK right now and that I... Continue reading
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Yes, I'm aware that change is constant, but that doesn't mean I have to like it. This is pretty much me in a nutshell; change in jobs--good (I tend to get bored easily), change in life--bad. It's one of the reasons I've lived in the same home for over 15... Continue reading
Posted Dec 2, 2016 at Widowedat45
Joan, I begin grief therapy in a few weeks (soonest they could fit me in). I believe it will be enormously helpful and something I promised Eric I would follow up with.
Toggle Commented Nov 29, 2016 on So, Now What? at Widowedat45
1 reply
Thank you Erika. I love you and miss you! Hugs.
Toggle Commented Nov 29, 2016 on So, Now What? at Widowedat45
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If you happen to be a fan of the BBC show Luther, then you will recognize this particular blog title. They are the very last words spoken at the end of each season. But why am I saying them? My life is literally at a crossroads. Last month my husband... Continue reading
Posted Nov 28, 2016 at Widowedat45
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It's hard to believe that many of the friends I knew in junior high and high school have kids that are either in or entering high school. When my oldest nephew turned 14, all I could think was "Damn, I was doing some dirty, dirty things at that age." Of course, this made me a tad nostalgic for all the fast times I had at New Trier High. Although I have an amaze-balls memory, I am not immune to my advancing age turning my brain into swiss cheese. I may be romanticizing some aspects, but I'm pretty sure things happened... Continue reading
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As I try to ease my way back into blogging, I figured this kind of post would be mostly easy-peasy. As you can see, I am a bit of a nutter. I had the most amazing wardrobe in high school and college. I never even wore jeans with any regularity until college. I recently purged about 1000 "friends" on facebook. I suffered from cystic acne as a young adult. They were so painful and large, that I used to say they had their own zip code. 6 months of Accutane worked. I own an ungodly amount of makeup, but only... Continue reading
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Greetings from your long lost friend. I can't believe it has been almost a year since I have last blogged. What I can say is, that for the first time in over 2 years, my life seems to be quieting down. Don't get me wrong, I loves me a little drama, but my life was getting ridiculous. I'm not sure how to explain it, but I don't think soul searching is the correct term. I guess I've been having a think about how serious issues like death and major sickness have affected me. One thing is for sure: I'm not... Continue reading
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Ok, so here's the deal--I was really hoping that, after going the single most difficult time in my life, 2014 would prove to be much brighter. Most of you know that I have drastically reduced my work due to a number of ridiculous circumstances. I was incredibly fortunate that I was able to travel to Boston in 2013 to be a featured speaker at Harvard University, Graduate School of Arts and Sciences. I had an amazing time, and the invitation came at the perfect time as it was in between treatments that my husband was going through. Incidentally, Harvard was... Continue reading
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Well, I'm pretty certain that I am not all the way back, but I am declaring it a good start. You might recall that my hubby an I were supposed to vacation at a little private island off of the Florida Keys in 2012. I was heartbroken--really heartbroken--when, the day before we were to fly out, we had to cancel the trip due to the hurricane. Ever the trooper, my hubby did something completely un-like him and booked us a week long stay at the St. Regis in Kauai. Less than 24 hours later, we were drinking $18 cocktails and... Continue reading
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In spite of only working on a very limited basis in 2013, yours truly made two separate "Top Blogger" lists. Crazy stuff, right? I'm honored that people like my blog enough to take the time to nominate me. In November, Kinkly picked me as a "Top 100 Sex Blogging Superhero of 2013", and in December, Between My Sheets named me as a "Top Sex Blogger of 2013". There are so many wonderful, informative, and much needed sex blogs out there today. I read somewhere that the average active life span for a sex blog is a mere 13 to 18... Continue reading
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So, what in the hell is one supposed to write after stumbling through the most difficult year of my life. Looking back, some parts of it seemed to be quite cruel in that it dragged on and on. While at the same time, some parts of it seemed to have just flown by. All I know is that for much of the year, I was white knuckling it. Today is the one year anniversary of my dads passing. Holy shit, this is going to be one fucked up day. I had no idea that processing his death was put on... Continue reading
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As a sexuality educator, I am well aware that there are a bevy of things one can stick up ones ass. Lucky for us, more and more sex toy (or adult toy) manufacturers are producing a mind boggling amount of toys intended just for anal play. Just a quick reminder; never, ever, ever place items up your bum that are not intended for anal play. This could be anything from jars and cans--which happen to be the number 1 of all ER "foreign object" rectal removals, lollipops, vibrating bullets, or any number of awesome sex toys that do not have... Continue reading
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You know that it occurred to me that "jazz" looks an awful like "jizz". Regardless, I've decided to go with it. This time of year is usually pretty hectic for me. I have my birthday, the anniversary of dating my husband (it's also our wedding anniversary), and his birthday. Because we couldn't remember the exact date we met, we decided the end of the first week of October 1991 sounded right. I know I was dating him when my college had it's annual "fall break" in mid October. I was 20 at the time, and should really have a much... Continue reading
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You guys have no idea how much I wanted to spell my name with a "K" instead of a "C"...I'm a huge pop culture/gossip whore and think it's pretty freaking funny if I became a Kardashian for a day. Speaking of the Kardashians, you guys remember that I am the proud owner of 3 mini wondrous vulva puppets (the original ones made by Ms. Dorrie Lane), and I lovingly refer to them as Kourteney, Khloe, and Kim. Kourteney, Khloe, and Kim "Kardashian" vulva puppets Most of you guys know that I've pretty much been on work hiatus for the past... Continue reading
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I've been a member of AASECT for several years. If you haven't heard of AASECT, it stands for the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists. Every month, they produce an online magazine for members where they profile two AASECT members. I was one of the featured members for September, 2013. Here is the interview as it currently appears Each month we sit down (virtually) with AASECT members to find out about how they came to their work, what their current passions are in the field of human sexuality, and what they love most about being a sexuality professional.... Continue reading
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I often ask myself why in the hell am I so anally fixated. Is it because I was potty trained too early? Was I potty trained too late? Maybe it's because growing up my father was (and still is) an Anesthesiologist and my mom was a former nurse so talking about bodily functions at the dinner table was nothing new. All I know is that it is a rare day when I am not talking about things going into or coming out of either mine or someone else's ass. Or as my best friend calls it, "arse". Unlike myself, he... Continue reading
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Regular readers of my blog (thank you!!) are fully aware that I have a disproportionate fixation with all things anal. Some even refer to me the the most anally fixated sex educator out there. The funny thing is that I lovingly regard Tristan Taormino as the most anal educator in the community. I can't deny that I am super anally fixated. In fact, I have decided to re-brand myself as an "Anal Health Ambassador". Catchy, no? This personality quirk has served me well considering the line of work I am in. First of all, I love the IDEA of all... Continue reading
Awww, that's the reason I love providing a safe space to openly talk about sex and sexuality! I totally agree that it is a kick ass testimonial...I'm humbled!
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When you are a sexuality speaker, soliciting workshop testimonials can be a little tricky. Even those people who were the most enthusiastic participants can think twice about putting pen to paper. Why? Even though I've been doing workshops since 2002, I still sometimes forget that the topics I cover remain quite taboo. In my head, I might be thinking "c'mon, man, write me a testimonial, write me a testimonial!", but in their head, they might be thinking "are you nuts, lady, the workshop I went to was on fellatio!" I recently put the word out that I was looking for... Continue reading
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For the past four years, July has been a doozy of a month for me. I'm not sure if bittersweet is the word. Perhaps the best way to describe it is to call upon the short run E! show, "Denise Richards: it's complicated". This blog post has proven to be one of the hardest I've ever written. My emotions are still very high, even four years after my mom's passing. It's also one of the most personal posts I've ever written, so have a heart and please try to be kind if you choose to leave a comment. After being... Continue reading
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Boy oh boy do you guys love this post about who in Hollywood has the herp (allegedly)! I loves me some gossip, too. I just had no idea how insanely popular these few posts would end up being. I'm not even lying when I say a third of all my blog traffic goes directly to Hollywood and herpes. I originally blogged about this topic back in January of 2010 and again in November of 2011. I'm trying to balance the gossipy tone of the overall post with some important and reputable information on Herpes. I've decided to bring it back... Continue reading