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edith

Alamo, CA

my journey through bipolar and borderline personality disorder.

Interests: all things vintage, mental health, oddities, bell jars, antique stores, milky way bars, baking cupcakes, homemade bread, doggies, sleeping in, crafting, silhouettes, photography, watercolors, the way the sun hits the window, noonday.

Recent Activity

new blog update:

I am going to be making my blog private. If you would like to be an invited reader please leave a comment with your email address or email me and I will put you on the safe reader list. Thanks dears! Continue reading

Posted Mar 23, 2011 at edith

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edith is now following sarah

Mar 21, 2011

edith is now following Nanette Louchart-Fletcher

Mar 21, 2011

edith is now following Margaret Oomen

Mar 18, 2011

This blog has moved! Find it here! Continue reading

Posted Mar 18, 2011 at RabbitSongStudio

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My new blog! Click here! My blog is making the big move---back to Blogger. I am not totally happy with typepad and that it costs $14.99 a month and Blogger is free with the same or more features makes it a no brainer for me to switch. Don't forget to... Continue reading

Posted Mar 18, 2011 at edith

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naptime headache and other things

I have that sleepy head feeling I get when I need to take a rest. I hate it and wish I didn't sleep so much. It's so hard though when my eyes get so droopy and I can fall asleep while sitting up, that's when you know you need to... Continue reading

Posted Mar 17, 2011 at edith

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Thanks S! I miss you!

Commented Mar 17, 2011 on scenes from a day at RabbitSongStudio

scenes from a day

Continue reading

Posted Mar 17, 2011 at RabbitSongStudio

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Yesterday I took about 200 pictures of things around the house with my normal and macro lens, it was really fun. Here are some of my favorites. Deer friends Daffodil stems Collage Clean desk Drying cake stand tomatoes flowers Puppy Orchid Petal Moss Leaf Daisy Succulent Lineup An apple a... Continue reading

Posted Mar 17, 2011 at edith

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I almost went to the hospital yesterday. I have never been so close as to going before. I am so scared to go and be alone and be around what I imagine as a bunch of "girls interrupted". So I didn't go, so I am alone today, so I am... Continue reading

Posted Mar 16, 2011 at edith

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Feeling: tired and ok (ok is a big thing for me right now) Expecting: to craft today Hoping: that the worst is over Wishing: the people of Japan would find comfort and safety right now Excited for: the potential of an entire weekend with my honey Dreaming: of an off-white... Continue reading

Posted Mar 16, 2011 at RabbitSongStudio

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So I'm most likely not pregnant. I took a test this morning (it is still a few days before my period) and it was negative. Oh well. I'm trying to not let this confirm the idea I have that life never works out and that I am cursed. Ronald has... Continue reading

Posted Mar 15, 2011 at edith

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It's morning. I'm up a bit too early and didn't sleep well last night. This morning I have to go into work for a bit. It's really hard to work when I feel like my whole life is falling apart. Life is bittersweet. The tragedy that is unfolding in Japan... Continue reading

Posted Mar 14, 2011 at edith

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I'm trying to have a slow/ok day. Here is what I have done so far: Cleaned the kitchen and fridge Got ready Went to Target Watched part of a movie and took a nap Dusted Started a load of laundry Started dinner in the slow cooker Emailed Ronald several times... Continue reading

Posted Mar 13, 2011 at edith

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I'm not doing well. I'm so depressed and out of touch with reality. I can't sleep yet I don't think I can handle being awake either. I'm trying not to freak out and to remind myself that all this feeling like nothing is real garbage is most likely a result... Continue reading

Posted Mar 12, 2011 at edith

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I'm feeling a little better this morning. I think...

I'm feeling a little better this morning. I think it was/is mainly anxiety. This week I'm going to talk to my doctor about how things are going. It seems like my months have been so full of mood swings I can't even keep my head straight as to my goals... Continue reading

Posted Mar 12, 2011 at edith

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I'm not doing well. Something is really wrong with...

I'm not doing well. Something is really wrong with me I think. I am super dizzy and don't feel real, I feel like this is all a dream. I went out on an errand and thought I was dreaming the whole time. It's really scary and I don't know what... Continue reading

Posted Mar 11, 2011 at edith

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the dying daffodil(s)

Last night I felt like I was dying or going to die. I am so afraid I will kill myself on one of these bad days I start to panic. I can't catch my breath, my mind fills with images of me poking my eyes out, slitting the veins in... Continue reading

Posted Mar 11, 2011 at edith

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It's a dark day for me. I am struggling with a lot of suicidal thoughts. I freak out when I feel this way and always want to rush myself to the hospital. Then I remind myself of what I think the hospital will be like (I have never been in... Continue reading

Posted Mar 10, 2011 at edith

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I'm feeling down this morning, but am trying to...

I'm feeling down this morning, but am trying to remember that tonight is date night for Ronald and I. It has been maybe a month or three weeks at least since we have been on a proper date, things have been just too busy. We are going to go to... Continue reading

Posted Mar 10, 2011 at edith

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I'm wide awake. I hate not being able to sleep. Earlier tonight I pulled out my old scrapbooks and the journal I have set aside for the baby. I miss scrapbooking and making things more. I also got sad about baby things. I just want to be pregnant so bad... Continue reading

Posted Mar 10, 2011 at edith

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Before: kind of cluttered... After: well organized a cleared off desk Little bunny camping out by the computer. Books in a neat stack I love it when my space is clean. It feels just right. Continue reading

Posted Mar 9, 2011 at RabbitSongStudio

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"when you didn't have to let it go"

So I made a discovery yesterday in therapy. It's that ever since my birthday tea party I have been hopeless. Because a huge part of me imagined and sort of believed that somehow I could heal my childhood pain by creating events that should have happened when I was little.... Continue reading

Posted Mar 9, 2011 at edith

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I have never had a regret about buying my camera. It is so nice and totally easy to use. I also don't regret buying this giant screened mac desktop that I am using right now. It's just my little space and I love it. Most mornings I sit at my... Continue reading

Posted Mar 8, 2011 at edith

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