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This was a great post, thanks. And the Faber & Mazlish book is great. I remember reading it. I wonder how much of child-rearing is culture-specific, and how much is household-specific. I was brought up in India, where more obedience was expected of children. (Not saying it's better or worse--just different). I don't recall my younger siblings having any temper tantrums. Mom put the puffed rice or toast or porridge or roti or whatever she had decided we were having for breakfast on the table. We ate it. End of story. Could some of a child's behavior have to do with managing children's expectations at an early age? (A confession here: my own children, whom I brought up in America, did have temper tantrums. Several. I usually sat on the couch until the storm passed. (Mostly because I didn't know what to do). When the kids figured out Mom wasn't going to do anything, they eventually stopped crying. Now they're teenagers, and I notice what matters most to them is the tone of voice in which I tell them things. Requests, rebukes, whatever it is I'm trying, if delivered softly, seem to go over better.
Toggle Commented Jun 19, 2012 on How to Talk to Human Beings at Coding Horror
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Jun 18, 2012