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Chris Macho
Los Angeles
I'm a businessman. You know this because you can find me in my place of business!
Interests: Movies, baseball, tech, my book, spicy tuna, my mother, my father, and bitches.
Recent Activity
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"She had a miscarriage, I couldn’t cry though, 'cause you & I know she was only my side ho." Rick Ross, Live Fast Die Young WOW. Such a dick. Filed under: Worst boyfriend Posted by Nick Spears Continue reading
Posted Dec 5, 2011 at Snacks and Shit
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"I like girls that like other girls. I like girls that like other girls. I like girls and they all like me." -Tyga, I Like Girls by The Game Hey man, you're confusing me. So you like the girls that like other girls, and all of these girls like you, so... are you a lesbian girl? I'm JUST ASKING. Filed under: A lesbian / so confusing / Overcompensating Posted by Chris Macho Continue reading
Posted Nov 5, 2011 at Snacks and Shit
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"This is not no Sandra Bull." Wale, Lotus Flower Bomb Hey man, I'm not really sure what you could be thinking on this one? Do you mean "bullshit" when you say "Sandra Bull"? If so, that is about the most retarded slang word you could ever make up. First off, Sandra Bullock isn't even known for being a liar, ya know? At least you could replace "bullshit" with something like "This is not no Dicky Nixon". Otherwise you're simply going off the fact that her last name kinda sounds the same as the word you want it to represent... AND... Continue reading
Posted Nov 2, 2011 at Snacks and Shit
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"The Nets could go 0 for 82 and I look at you like this shit gravy." Jay-Z, Niggas in Paris by Kanye West & Jay-Z Filed under: Worst team owner ever Posted by Nick Spears Continue reading
Posted Oct 25, 2011 at Snacks and Shit
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"No more 'Mr. Nice Guy', hello 'Mr. Nice Watch'." -J Cole, Mr. Nice Watch "You've changed man... Ever since you got that watch, you just...I don't know. You turned into a DICK." Filed under: What the fuck does the watch have to do with this? Posted by Chris Macho Continue reading
Posted Oct 24, 2011 at Snacks and Shit
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"A shotty by the shower if you wanna shoot me while I'm shitting." Notorious B.I.G., Wake Up I MEAN SERIOUSLY???? The idea of Biggie jumping off the toliet and grabbing a shotgun with his pants down AND poop still in his butt is soooo ridiculous. AND EVEN if the gun is within arms length, it still goes down as the most ridiculous way to murder someone. GET A LOCK! Or a trapdoor! Nahmean??? Filed under: Crime scene smells like shit Posted by Nick Spears Continue reading
Posted Sep 29, 2011 at Snacks and Shit
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"Do you solemnly swear to put that bottom in the air?" -Tech N9ne, Eenie Meanie Miny Ho Filed under: Worst Bailiff Ever Posted by Chris Macho Continue reading
Posted Sep 13, 2011 at Snacks and Shit
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"The way she moved reminded me of a brown stallion horse with skates on." Big Boi, SpottieOttieDopalicious by OutKast This is the funniest thing to visualize EVER. Unless you know some horse that knows how to rollerskate? Because I'm picturing a chick who's falling down and freaking the fuck out. Filed under: Thinks horses know how to rollerskate, Worst analogy ever Posted by Nick Spears Continue reading
Posted Sep 6, 2011 at Snacks and Shit
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"Let my convertible marinate on the avenue." -Rick Ross, Live Fast, Die Young Hey man, it's a car, not a skirt steak. Posted by Chris Macho Continue reading
Posted Aug 23, 2011 at Snacks and Shit
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"The B, the O, the B, the B, the Y, the D, the I, the G, the I, the T, the A, the L." -RZA, B.O.B.B.Y. Okay man, you lost me at the third B. You lost everybody. You can't spell something this long in a song. Filed Under: Spelling something for way too long, just use words Posted by Chris Macho Continue reading
Posted Aug 4, 2011 at Snacks and Shit
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"Bachelor like me is single." WitchDoctor, Mamacita by OutKast No shit? That's like saying "Husband like me is married". Filed under: Captain Obvious Posted by Nick Spears Continue reading
Posted Aug 2, 2011 at Snacks and Shit
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"All associates can suck cock." Tyler the Creator, Steak Sauce Like, ever? Filed under: So general / Telling basically everyone to suck cock Posted by Chris Macho Continue reading
Posted Jul 29, 2011 at Snacks and Shit
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"Prepare your lips for the ding ding!" AMG, Medley For a V by DJ Quick Are you five? Do you call vaginas a "woo woo"? WTF is wrong with you? Filed under: Creeps chicks out during intimate moments Posted by Nick Spears Continue reading
Posted Jul 27, 2011 at Snacks and Shit
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"As long as my muthafuckin’ dick get hard, and I got a million dollars banked out on my credit card." Snoop Dogg, Medley For a V by DJ Quick "Hello Visa, it's me Snoop. My dick's hard, where we at?" Filed under: So weird Posted by Nick Spears Continue reading
Posted Jul 18, 2011 at Snacks and Shit
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"I walk around the club. Fuck everybody." Lil' Wayne, I'm On One by DJ Khaled So... why are you there? Go home. Filed under: Buzzkill Posted by Nick Spears Continue reading
Posted Jul 12, 2011 at Snacks and Shit
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"My top back like J.F.K.... They wanna push my top back like J.F.K.... So, so I J.F.K." Rick Ross, Free Mason You should mix it up next time, just try it next time, so, so next time. Filed under: Trying to be creative but sounding like a drunk white guy rapping with his friends in a cab at 2am Posted by Nick Spears Continue reading
Posted Jul 3, 2011 at Snacks and Shit
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"This the two-seat rider with the ketchup inside." -P. Town Moe, Way I Live by Baby Boy Da Prince Filed Under: Needs to get his car detailed Posted by Chris Macho Continue reading
Posted Jun 28, 2011 at Snacks and Shit
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"Oh, you talking? What about? If it ain't how I kept you studded out you might as well shut ya mouth." Fabolous, Deuces (remix) by Chris Brown This, right here, is on the all-time-super-dick-shit list. Filed Under: Meanest boyfriend ever Posted by Chris Macho Continue reading
Posted Jun 27, 2011 at Snacks and Shit
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"Triple six is my number, you can get it off my Tumblr." Hodgy Beats, Sandwitches by Tyler the Creator Satan must be so proud. Filed under: Nerdiest Satan worshiper, Worst shout out Posted by Nick Spears Continue reading
Posted Jun 23, 2011 at Snacks and Shit
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"Skyscrapers look like atoms." Kool Moe Dee, I Go To Work Ummm... Nope. They sure don't. Filed under: Got an F in science class Posted by Nick Spears Continue reading
Posted Jun 20, 2011 at Snacks and Shit
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"Where the cops at? Because I'm drunk as fuck. Tell them I'm far from sober. 'Cause if the po-po happen to pull me over, I'mma just tell 'em..." Ludacris, Everybody Drunk Good call. Just tell them that you're drunk as fuck. I'm sure they'll understand and thank you for your honesty. Filed under: Worst Idea Ever / Idiot / Definitely going to jail Posted by Chris Macho Continue reading
Posted Jun 14, 2011 at Snacks and Shit
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"Have you ever had sex with a pharaoh? I put the pussy in a sarcophagus." Kanye West, Monster Kanye, first off... you would be the worst pharaoh EVER. Secondly... you would have NO game if you told the ladies you were going to bury them in a fancy coffin if they have sex with you. You are a moron. Filed under: Rapping about words he heard on The History Channel, Not a pharaoh/god, Has no game with ancient Egyptian women Posted by Nick Spears Continue reading
Posted Jun 13, 2011 at Snacks and Shit
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"Eatin' ya'll food, leaving dishes." - Jay-Z, Hate Oh, so you're that asshole. Quick question though, what the fuck is with you and dishes? Filed under: Worst houseguest / So rude Posted by Chris Macho Continue reading
Posted Jun 9, 2011 at Snacks and Shit
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"Rain on my head, call that brainstorming. Yeah this is deep, oh, but I go deeper." Lil' Wayne, Motivation by Kelly Rowland If you think that was deep, you should dive into "Confessions of an Heiress" by Paris Hilton. HEAVY SHIT. Major raindrops. Filed under: Doesn't read Immanuel Kant Posted by Nick Spears Continue reading
Posted Jun 9, 2011 at Snacks and Shit
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"Sometime I ask myself, 'Hey Jeezy, how ya doin?'" -Young Jeezy, Just Like That by Bun B "...And then I respond, 'Thanks for asking, Jeezy, I'm doin all right? How about you?" It's a close call, but I think the only thing more Goddamn depressing than this... is this. Filed under: No friends / Worst story ever / MPD Posted by Chris Macho Continue reading
Posted Jun 8, 2011 at Snacks and Shit