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Julie Cook
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"Right around the time I realized I had no idea how it ended, the ending tapped me on the shoulder..." -- Gotta LOVE when that happens! I enjoyed the read. Not my usual genre of choice, but in flash doses, I like it. You may have edited it since posting, but here's my two-cent crit anyhow. My biggest issue, is that we don't learn that the narrator is a girl until pretty late in the piece. Rather, I imagined the narrator to be about a 7-year-old boy until I was told otherwise. I still would like to have a better idea of her age. Maybe she could fiddle nervously with her ponytail at the dinner table or something. You wouldn't need to spell it out, of course. (Look at me, the one-chapbook poet telling the pro how to write. ) No offense intended, but something about it brought Troll 2 to mind, not in the totally cheesy sense, but with a sense of nostalgia. I was totally freaked out by that movie when I saw it as a kid.
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Julie Cook is now following The Typepad Team
Oct 20, 2011