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It's funny. You have that first kid, and you go through the spectrum of terror through euphoria, and all that you just described. You realize that what you thought you saw before as love was just the shadow cast from the real thing. You make it through those first few months of sleep deprivation with your sanity more or less intact, and suddenly you have a crawler, a walker, a little person forming in front of you. You're getting the hang of this. So you decide to have another! Immediately you're terrified again. There isn't *possibly* enough love in you to share with another kid. You won't love this other child nearly as much as your first. Or, you think that what you have with your first will be somehow diluted by having another. You fret, you worry. You question your decision making. You're not ready for this. And then have have that second (or second and third, as the case may be :-) ), and you realize something. Love among a family doesn't *get* watered down. Strangely, it seems to reflect back among its members, getting stronger instead of weaker. You still have that ache in your chest that you've become familiar with when snuggling down for bedtime stories, true, but now you get it when the little one grins at her big brother, or you hear them playing and laughing together. It's a whole new world yet again -- completely not what you expected, but still somehow better. Enjoy!
Commented Oct 24, 2011 on
Our son was born March 12th, 2009. He's a little over two and a half years old. Now, I am the wussiest wuss to ever wuss up the joint, so take everything I'm about to say with a grain of salt – but choosing to become a parent is the hardest thing I have ever done. By far. Everything else pales ...
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