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CroutonBoy
INGREDIENTS: wheat, flour, canola and/or sunflower oil, sour cream solids (cultured cream, nonfat milk), salt, water, yeast, buttermilk solids, sugar, natural flavors, parmesan cheese (milk, cheese cultures, salt, enzymes), onion, garlic, spices, malted barley flour, citric acid and/or tocopherols added to maintain freshness
Interests: although i'm easily frustrated. ice cream. south park...still., sleeping in. cartoons. fantasy football. music piracy. movies where lots of things blow up. quality time with the wife. scuba-diving. travel. history.
Recent Activity
No, there's nothing you can do. Disney representatives are in their cribs as we speak.
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In its unending quest for editorial integrity and multiple versions of the same four fart jokes, DadCentric sent an additional correspondent, CroutonBoy, to Disney World in January. As TwoBusy's tale of mirth, merriment, and migraines at the Rodent Kingdom unfolds,... Continue reading
Posted Feb 3, 2011 at DadCentric
drinking beer and throwing my remote in frustration. Continue reading
Posted Jan 18, 2011 at The 50 Yard Line
Although it pains me to say it, that was a quality win for Da Bears. Seattle was simply dismissed. Congrats. Now please don't let the Jets or Steelers win the Super Bowl.
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‘Tis the season when the journalistic profession takes some time off from serious reporting to look back on the Year That Was, pick a category of interest, and assemble a tidy list to sum up the best/worst the year had... Continue reading
Posted Dec 27, 2010 at DadCentric
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It was an annual ritual, as predictable and important as decorating the tree or wrapping the presents. We'd scan the TV section of the newspaper, hoping that that night one of the holiday specials was on. Every year my brothers... Continue reading
Posted Dec 2, 2010 at DadCentric
Awww, this is such a cute age.
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Incredibly belated Happy Birthday to the little man. "I'm glad we have pictures." Indeed...
Toggle Commented Oct 26, 2010 on Five Years High And Rising at DadCentric
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Ive always thought I looked a lot like Larry from Threes Company, but with green hair. So yeah, its a pretty accurate depiction.
Toggle Commented Oct 26, 2010 on The Other Side at DadCentric
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I was fascinated by the design on the shirt, too! I think I was wearing a t-shirt from a coffee shop in Hawaii with a surfer on it, so maybe thats her interpretation. Or, to your point, its my still-beating heart being ripped from my chest. TW
Toggle Commented Oct 25, 2010 on The Other Side at DadCentric
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It's taken a while, but I've come to terms with the inherent irrationality and sociopathy of five-year olds. I don't expect them to respect the unwritten laws of communication, like the ones that govern interrupting others or using a voices... Continue reading
Posted Oct 23, 2010 at DadCentric
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I think it's all backwards. It's not that so many HEUMCWD's are whiners, it's that so many whiners just happen to be HEUMCWDs. And a bunch of whiners are moms. And I work with a bunch of whiners. And dear lord are there a lot in the media. And when I can't get my company to buy some cool gadget that I want because it makes my nipples hard and they won't buy my excuse that I need it "to have more work-life balance" then I might whine a little, too. But that's because I'm a baby who wants something and can't have it. And to all the HEUMCWDs who want something and can't have it, you could (a) try harder, which often works well when you take responsibility for it yourself instead of asking everyone else to accommodate your needs, or you could (b) gain a little confidence in who you are and what you're able to do within the constraints of your life. Or better yet you could (c) stop reading articles like this which are written to elicit precisely this response and sell more advertising space. I think my blatant oversimplification of Jason's point is "get over yourselves" which is fairly applied here. Now if you'll excuse me I have to go meet Whit in the mens bathroom. I think he needs to be changed.
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If I had the time, or the skills, or the ingenuity, this would have been my baby announcement. It was in my brain anyway. I only wish I'd discovered it in time for Star Wars Day.... Continue reading
Posted May 5, 2010 at DadCentric
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I think picking the exact opposite of me is a good long term strategy. It also works when picking stocks and contractors.
Toggle Commented Mar 24, 2010 on Bracket Breakdown at DadCentric
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Outside of the NFL season I'm a pretty casual sports fan. I may pick a sentimental favorite for the World Series, and I always get a kick out of the World Cup and the US Open, but for the most... Continue reading
Posted Mar 24, 2010 at DadCentric
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Mar 15, 2010
I think it's naive that this program will "fix" anything by itself. But as long as the government is on the hook for any portion of the long-term health care of Americans it's most definitely their problem. Fat kids lead to unhealthy adults, which create a burden on the health care system. And although the general concept of not regulating stupid is something I agree with, you can't just blame chalk it up to stupidity. The food industry packs so much harmful crap into what we eat--and use as much misdirection as possible to mask it--that it's inevitable that people will put too much crap in their bodies, particularly if a Big Mac is cheaper than an organic pepper. I'm sure they're looking at this as a multi-pronged approach to dealing with those long-term health care costs. They're tackling insurers, health care providers, the food industry (to a horribly inefficient extent) and now the people. We probably all grew up raised by parents who enjoyed the miracles of prepared foods without thinking that they would be bad for us, especially when what THEY ate when they were kids farm fresh(ish). Now it's time to expose that truth to people, and using the pulpit of the presidency seems like a reasonable idea to me. If it inspires a few people to eat better and teachers to build it into their lesson plans then what's the harm?
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Yeah, I dream of winning the Super Bowl, too...
Toggle Commented Feb 9, 2010 on Brees Pass Me a Tissue at DadCentric
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Maybe I'm a total softy, but I got downright misty watching the Super Bowl last night. And not because of anything that happened during the game. It was this moment at the end: If there's a more touching moment between... Continue reading
Posted Feb 8, 2010 at DadCentric
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Men have a very special relationship with their penis. They name them, have conversations with them, and, to quote Seinfeld, treat them like an amusement park. They're your partner, your buddy, and in many cases your drunk roommate whom you... Continue reading
Posted Jan 15, 2010 at DadCentric
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It’s not your fault, sweetie. You’re just not pretty enough. --Frank Reynolds A father’s role is to inspire and protect his children, to be a role model and to offer them valuable lessons so they can grow and flourish as... Continue reading
Posted Sep 23, 2009 at DadCentric
How do you DO this? You missed your calling, my friend. Classic.
Toggle Commented Sep 16, 2009 on Vasectomy: A Chat With My Boys at DadCentric
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I walk into the bedroom, and switch on the light. A vague scent of dust fills my nostrils as the ceiling fan begins to purr above my head. The light reflects off soft green walls—a color we picked while guessing... Continue reading
Posted Sep 15, 2009 at DadCentric
You just made me cry, motherfucker
Toggle Commented Sep 14, 2009 on Time Passages at DadCentric
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