I never ask for anything but a plain old cuppa joe...black no sugar. No complaints unless they slip me decaf by mistake!

Ordinarily, if there had been a fire, the automatic alarm system would have notified the fire department directly.

@ GrammarNazi, Possibly because of the perceived risk of suicide or of the psychotic individual endangering others in the pool.

I've done "clopens" in retail but never knew that's what they are called. In outside sales that'd be an 8pm-11pm appointment followed by a 10am-1pm appointment the next day (not counting the driving time to and fro, of course).

Why don't they simply take a CART fercryinoutloud?

Ewww!

Many decades ago I accidentally stopped a lunch NAT. I had been keeping a jar of Goober Grape (basically a jar of peanut butter swirled with grape jelly) in the office fridge. Because I assumed I was the only one eating from my own jar, I simply ate Goober Grape directly from the jar using a spoon. I ended up being out for a few days with the flu. When I came back, I noticed that the jar was gone...evidently a NAT had taken it, and had most likely stolen a goodly amount of my flu virus. What goes around, comes around...

@ GrammarNazi, I won't be reading the book and I won't be watching the movie.

I prefer coffee made at home. Always use purified water to make coffee. Coffee is mostly water and it makes a heckuva lot of difference.

Pure evil.

Precooked cereal costs too much. Go make some old-fashioned oatmeal or non-instant grits or buckwheat or Cream of Wheat or something real.

Well...they can't open any more tills than they have cashiers currently on the clock to operate them. If everybody who is qualified to run a cash register is already busy helping other customers (either at the tills or elsewhere in the store), there's nothing the management can do. Corporate caps the budget hours for payroll and the store managers are forbidden to exceed the cap. WalMart runs skimpy on staff to keep the prices down. That means you can't get much help in the aisles and you wait in line at the tills.

US currency that has been circulating for awhile generally contains detectable traces of cocaine. Does that mean that every cashier in America can end up testing positive for cocaine?

Possible scenario: B&G employee gives customer bad advice that originated with something he read in FSTG. Customer purchases rope, tape, cable ties, etc. Customer follows the bad advice and ends up seriously injuring himself or someone else. Lawsuit!

"Eat here and get gas..."

It'd serve these entitled litigious greedheads right if PF Chang's simply decided to discontinue the gluten-free option entirely.

I want to know what chain and what particular store that was, just so that I don't end up eating there!

It wasn't the kid's fault for getting sick in a public venue. That's why I wouldn't necessarily label the kid as "devil spawn." The parents, on the other hand, should have been asked to take the kid outta there so that the kid can recuperate. Trying to feed a vomiting kid sounds like child abuse to me.

I'm over 60 (and female) and I don't much care what anybody calls me. But then, I was in retail nearly 4 years, then I was in telephone sales, and now I'm a sales rep calling on people in their homes. I've developed a hide like a rhinoceros!

Why didn't they order it as a salad with a toasted roll on the side, as a normal person would do?

They'll get you on the way back from the bathroom (or worse, on the way INTO the bathroom). Let's just say that some jobs require healthy kidneys and heroic bladder capacity.

I was a waitress four decades ago. I wasn't a particularly skillful one but I did the best I could. I still remember that. I was in retail MUCH more recently than that... I hear ya!

Why parents allow their kids to put the outside of a package of food or candy into their mouths is beyond me. Yuk. GEEERRRMMMSSS!

I won't be watching that tripe anyway.

Is this for people who cut the cheese during what otherwise should be a romantic moment? Will I go to Hell for joking about this?