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Dan Renzi
dan renzi
Recent Activity
For all those poor, beleaguered males who find themselves at Death's door, stricken by the Influenza Plague of 2018, here is an algorithm for deciding the severity of the situation. Continue reading
Posted Jan 24, 2018 at How was your day, Dan?
I entered the 2017 Pillsbury Bake-Off, a contest for amateur bakers to submit "original recipes" that included a Pillsbury product (mostly from a variety of their pre-made, packaged doughs), along with an essay that told a story about why that... Continue reading
Posted Jan 12, 2018 at How was your day, Dan?
I need a monologue for an audition. I could do something from "The Music Man," which was my big starring role when I was 17. Perhaps a little too light-hearted? Yes. So I'll do this poem from "Baal," by the... Continue reading
Posted Jan 8, 2018 at How was your day, Dan?
Here are three advertorials I wrote about Las Vegas: Continue reading
Posted Jan 2, 2018 at How was your day, Dan?
I need to start writing these recipes down somewhere. So they'll go here. After watching countless hours of The Great British Bake Off, a.k.a. The Great British Baking Show as it is named when it airs on PBS here in... Continue reading
Posted Oct 3, 2017 at How was your day, Dan?
"How would you like an authentic New York experience?" I was laying on the couch, in my temporary home deep in the depths of Brooklyn, with the ever-present aroma of cat urine wafting through the air. A chorus of horns... Continue reading
Posted May 5, 2017 at How was your day, Dan?
I am not particularly scared of spiders, but I had to share this story. I live in an apartment that faces a piece of land that has a creek, and along the banks are lots of trees. It's a bit... Continue reading
Posted Apr 9, 2017 at How was your day, Dan?
I wanted to get a cup of coffee. This is not a casual decision. I can't go just anywhere, and get whatever swill they're straining out of their coffee bean grinds. It needs to be the good stuff, with labels... Continue reading
Posted Mar 25, 2017 at How was your day, Dan?
Well hello. I've been thinking about you for a long time, my lovely, sitting here ignored like the stump in The Giving Tree. I've come to sit on your stump again. ~~~ My friend is a scientist who researches primate... Continue reading
Posted Mar 18, 2017 at How was your day, Dan?
I wrote this for Huffington Post: The Great American Baking Competition Continue reading
Posted Jan 1, 2017 at How was your day, Dan?
I wrote this email to a restaurant chain that shall remain nameless for now. If I go back and they are still having problems, I'm going public. ~~~ Dear ________, I believe your employees in SoCal need a refresher on... Continue reading
Posted Nov 10, 2016 at How was your day, Dan?
If the Olympics can support rhythmic gymnastics, air rifle marksmanship, and speed-walking, there are some events that I think should be added to the lineup. 1) Tug Of War The ultimate team sport, this used to be an Olympic event... Continue reading
Posted Aug 19, 2016 at How was your day, Dan?
I am heading to the wilderness for a few weeks, or as long as I can handle living out of my Ford Explorer, and I need some books to read at night while I am hiding from bears. I don't... Continue reading
Posted Jun 5, 2016 at How was your day, Dan?
Things no one ever told me about what it is like to be a nurse: Working in a hospital means 12 hour shifts, three days a week. But you will then spend another two days each week feeling hung over.... Continue reading
Posted Jun 2, 2016 at How was your day, Dan?
The idea for this trip came a few weeks ago. Why? I don't know. But I thought, I'm going to drop everything and I am going to drive around the country by myself. Step 1: Decide to take a trip.... Continue reading
Posted May 28, 2016 at How was your day, Dan?
I leave stuff from my childhood in my parents' basement like they are horcruxes from Harry Potter, bits of my soul, as if they are being kept safe down there. The boxes are never opened, the items are never seen.... Continue reading
Posted May 27, 2016 at How was your day, Dan?
Check out my Instagram and tell me which photo you like best. I am obsessed with taking photos of old barns, but perhaps not everyone shares my enthusiasm for rotting architecture. Some of the photos on there are just... Continue reading
Posted Mar 5, 2016 at How was your day, Dan?
I got stood up by someone and was really annoyed so I cranked out this written-in-one-draft column and went on with my life. To be fair, I didn't use Grindr. I have never used it. The editor of the... Continue reading
Posted Jan 27, 2016 at How was your day, Dan?
This is an article in the Miami Herald. Front page news. ...about a condo swimming pool. Apparently the tiles around the pool need to be replaced. The governor of Florida was apparently paid off by a hospital to change pediatrics... Continue reading
Posted Jan 14, 2016 at How was your day, Dan?
My younger brother was on a morning news show in Kansas City, teaching strengthening exercises. I told him to wear a tight shirt, but he didn't listen. He did a good job otherwise. I have done these exercises exactly... Continue reading
Posted Jan 13, 2016 at How was your day, Dan?
I was driving through Nowheresville, Central Time Zone of U.S.A., and I heard this gentleman, who goes by the name Shakey Graves, sing in the studio of a random radio station. He is a one-man band, playing drums with his... Continue reading
Posted Dec 18, 2015 at How was your day, Dan?
If your spouse, parent, or friend is in the hospital, you can help make them feel better. Here are some suggestions. I am using "them" just for convenience, even though grammatically it should be "him/her," so please forgive the errant... Continue reading
Posted Nov 5, 2015 at How was your day, Dan?
I just found my ex-boyfriend's obituary. He died from "heart-related illness," at the age of 41. We were together years ago, and he certainly didn't have any problems back then, or at least that I knew about. So I don't... Continue reading
Posted Oct 15, 2015 at How was your day, Dan?
A conversation with a couple of pre-teen girls, A and B. ~~~ Me: What did you do yesterday? Girl A: I literally sat home and cried all day. Me: Why? A: Because my dad yelled at me. Me: What happened?... Continue reading
Posted Oct 12, 2015 at How was your day, Dan?
I am in the midst of writing travel stories about Los Angeles and Las Vegas. Here is a restaurant review where the food was good but the dude I was with...well, read all about it: Otto Pizzeria Las Vegas Continue reading
Posted Oct 1, 2015 at How was your day, Dan?