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Judy McGuire
Brooklyn, NY
I'm a freelance writer, specializing in manners of the heart and groin.
Recent Activity
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On July 17, Elvis, Spyro, Inky, Mitzi, Oscar and I packed up the apartment and moved from Williamsburg, Brooklyn to Jackson Heights, Queens. While Williamsburg has been the butt of five bazillion jokes, I was born in New Jersey, so... Continue reading
Posted 2 days ago at Bad Advice
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My friend Julian died on Friday, January 10. His memorial service is today and I read this (though I did not project the silly selfie I talked him into): There are so many things to love about Julian— His intellect,... Continue reading
Posted Jan 13, 2014 at Bad Advice
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Thanksgiving has never been my favorite holiday. A day devoted to eating turkey and giving thanks? Eh. I don't loathe it, like I do the Fourth of July or New Year's, but it's more of a shrug than a must-have.... Continue reading
Posted Dec 2, 2013 at Bad Advice
Why can't I handle stress by working out obsessively like Henry Rollins does? I mean, if his abs are any indicator, he's pretty stressed. Or maybe the gym is his idea of fun. Me, I'm sitting here in yoga pants... Continue reading
Posted Nov 21, 2013 at Bad Advice
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I would first like to remind anyone who happens to be reading, that I am not a fashion blogger. I don't even play one on TV. I did recently write a story about wishing I could go back to dressing... Continue reading
Posted Nov 13, 2013 at Bad Advice
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When the going gets tough, the tough move their asses to Provincetown for a couple days. This is the night view from the deck of our hotel. In the morning the sound of seagulls wakes us up—that and the intense... Continue reading
Posted Sep 24, 2013 at Bad Advice
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The dude on the right. We think he's the new owner or one of their representatives. The one on the left is the "appraiser" who tried to get into a couple of our apartments this morning. Never mind that they... Continue reading
Posted Sep 17, 2013 at Bad Advice
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They're everywhere. Oversized, glass and plastic condos, filled with people I feel like I loathe, though I'm sure most are perfectly fine and I'm just being a resentful bitch because I'm being priced out of my neighborhood. After much elusiveness,... Continue reading
Posted Sep 15, 2013 at Bad Advice
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Shady surveyors out front, measuring your building with their weird little gadgets and lying about being from the "insurance company." Groups of Hasidim congregating in your normally um, unenlightened-when-it-comes-to-other-cultures, landlord's apartment, and the strange guy she moved in across the... Continue reading
Posted Sep 11, 2013 at Bad Advice
My friend Kiki T is the Astrosexologist and she'll tell you not only what the week has in store, but what you should be wearing. (Note to Kiki: I don't care if he's an Aries too, I'm NOT wearing Tommy... Continue reading
Posted Sep 9, 2013 at Bad Advice
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I hope you'll come hang out with me and Mike Edison at Jimmy's No. 43 in the East Village, tomorrow, September 5, at 7pm, as we slap ourselves on the back for 100 big episodes of The Mike & Judy... Continue reading
Posted Sep 4, 2013 at Bad Advice
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Today is the last day my Dategirl column will run in the Seattle Weekly. I can't even believe it lasted for thirteen years, but there you go. I think it was often funny, sometimes embarrassing to read later on, but... Continue reading
Posted Aug 28, 2013 at Bad Advice
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In case you missed the fantastic STFU Parents book party the other night—the above is a photo of the seriously creepy party cake—this is the piece I wrote and read for the event. (Though that cake isn't as creepy as... Continue reading
Posted Apr 5, 2013 at Bad Advice
"Venice" is the latest album from Billy Hough, as Scream Along with Billy. It's available on Valentine's Day and I think you'll love it. I realize it's February and I haven't blogged since December. Why is that? Am I depressed?... Continue reading
Posted Feb 12, 2013 at Bad Advice
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As I may have mentioned, I just got back from Paris . . . well, I guess it's nearly a month now. The glow has vanished as quickly as my savings did, but hey, who wants to ride out their... Continue reading
Posted Dec 19, 2012 at Bad Advice
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This is what happens when you decide to get three cats. You no longer get to have solo bathroom visits. If you take longer than about a minute, everyone piles on in and hangs out. Nobody really gets along, so... Continue reading
Posted Dec 12, 2012 at Bad Advice
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I really did not want to come home. I can't believe it took me five million years to finally get to Paris and even after spending a week there, I feel like I only saw a teeny tiny slice. Everyone... Continue reading
Posted Dec 11, 2012 at Bad Advice
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First off, could this kitten possibly be any cuter? I think not. If you're interested in adopting, please contact me. I'm fostering and while saying goodbye is going to be like a knife to the heart, three cats in one... Continue reading
Posted Nov 12, 2012 at Bad Advice
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I had a bad day this past Monday and my underwear had a lot to do with this. I was wearing a cute new dress and a pair of hipster briefs that may have been a little past their expiration... Continue reading
Posted Sep 13, 2012 at Bad Advice
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Check out the second listing for my book. $128.72. Where'd they get that number from? I'm talking about the book, because today I was interviewed by David Chiu at Brooklyn Based! They also had me come up with a few... Continue reading
Posted Aug 7, 2012 at Bad Advice
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My mom died twenty years ago today, August 3, 1992. I was 28, she was 54. I was talking to an old friend who lost her mom around the same time and we agreed it feels more like five years.... Continue reading
Posted Aug 3, 2012 at Bad Advice
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So please come! We're talking Thursday, July 12, from 7-9 pm, at Powerhouse Arena, in glorious DUMBO. Rich Juzwiak, Mike Edison, Princess Freakin' Superstar, Bob Bert, Erin Bradley, Eric Davidson, Zachary Lipez and Michael Gonzales will all be reading. Oh,... Continue reading
Posted Jul 12, 2012 at Bad Advice
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Oh my, cuteness! My friends Ziss and J-Ro found little Nacho roaming the streets of Boerum Hill, thinking he was all that. They scooped him up, and unlike most of the ferals they've fostered, this little boy wasted no time... Continue reading
Posted Jul 2, 2012 at Bad Advice
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I started writing this long mopey piece about my new book and the arduous journey it's taken to get it published (cancer, cancellation, and then my editor quit!). But then I realized that I was being an asshole so I... Continue reading
Posted May 22, 2012 at Bad Advice
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I'm sending this post over to my friend Phyllis at Reclaimed Home for verification, but I am pretty certain that this stained glass, featured in this listing for a home in Woodstock, is of a blonde-haired lady getting finger-banged. Look... Continue reading
Posted May 19, 2012 at Bad Advice