Chris D'Elia's Profile

"She got a donkey with her." -Fabolous, You Be Killin' 'Em Hey man, no she didn't. I mean, how hot would a chick have to be for you to take her AND her donkey to Olive Garden? ----------------------------------------- Fab's Friend: "So how was the date?" Fabolous: "I mean yeah she's fly as fuck, and the restaurant was good. Everything was great until Bill started slobbering all over the food." Fab's Friend: "Who's Bill?" Fabolous: "Oh, she had a donkey with her... Bill's her... donkey." ----------------------------------------- Filed Under: Worst date ever. Posted by Chris D'Elia Continue reading

Posted Oct 25, 2010 at Snacks and Shit

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#496

"Spit lobster and shrimp, you could tell by the hat." - Beanie Sigel, Watch Your Bitches Oh really? Nope. In fact the only way we could tell if you "spit lobster and shrimp" (which is not something anyway) by your hat, would be if on your hat it read the words "I spit lobster and shrimp". Then at least we could be like, "Hmmm I don't know what spitting lobster and shrimp would even be... but I guess that guy with the hat is someone who does it." But umm your hat obviously doesn't say that beanie, because that would... Continue reading

Posted May 13, 2010 at Snacks and Shit

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#481

"Motherfucker, I'm ill!" - Jay-Z, A Billi Worst patient ever. Filed under: No doctors would stand for this type of abuse. Posted by Chris D'Elia Continue reading

Posted Mar 19, 2010 at Snacks and Shit

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D'Elia IS BACK!

Commented Jan 29, 2010 on #466 at Snacks and Shit

#466

"I fuck around and have you sleepin' underneath somethin'." - Beanie Sigel, Me, You, Him, and Her This is by far the VAGUEST way to threaten somebody. Here are the 3 other vaguest ways to threaten someone... 1) Don't you do stuff or it's gonna be weird for a guy. 2) Watch out for these things or you'll be thinking about stuff maybe. 3) If you look at me some way I may or may not try thingys. Filed under: So vague, so insecure about maybe getting his ass kicked Posted by Chris D'Elia Continue reading

Posted Jan 26, 2010 at Snacks and Shit

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#465

"Ladies tell the truth. You know I'm cute." Tony Yayo, So Seductive Despite the fact that it's TERRIBLY insecure to say "You know I'm cute" to a bunch of ladies... why the fuck is he convinced they're lying about it? Filed under: So insecure, conspiracy theorist Posted by Chris D'Elia Continue reading

Posted Jan 20, 2010 at Snacks and Shit

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Nah, there's no homophobia dummy. And being gay is not perverted. It's just perverted to rap about shooting people in the anuses. And it also sounds homosexual too. But anyone with a functioning brain would recognize that. So just... stop being a fuckin idiot and we're all good. See ya. Chris D'Elia Creator of the site you read.

Commented Dec 1, 2009 on #446 at Snacks and Shit

#446

"My gun will shoot anybody's anus."Noreaga, Happy Birthday Oh, that's one of those heat-seeking asshole guns I've been hearing about I guess. Oh, wait... no... you're just a fuckin' weirdo. And stop blaming shooting people's anuses on your gun... because if your bullets are hitting anuses... it's like... your fault, Noreaga. Filed under: Perverted homosexual sniper Posted by Chris D'Elia Continue reading

Posted Nov 28, 2009 at Snacks and Shit

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Anyway, you guys are wrong and I'm right.... I didn't just hear the line I heard the whole song. He goes on to rap about how he sold drugs to superheroes and shit. So he meant he actually got Spider Man high. Just trust us... I may not be smarter than you. But I am funnier. So again... See ya.

Commented Nov 23, 2009 on #443 at Snacks and Shit

#444

"Jesus died at age 33. But what he didn't do is forget his niggas." - Bumpy Knuckles, One Chance Uhhhhhhh... Filed under: Going to Hell / blasphemy Posted by Chris D'Elia Continue reading

Posted Nov 23, 2009 at Snacks and Shit

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#443

"I got Spider-Man high." - 50 Cent, Stretch Oh, cool... actually wait that's not that cool because you're not The Green Goblin... or any character in a comic book for that matter... because no one in comic books actually exist... so you can't get them high. See ya. Filed under: s'delusional / lost his mind Posted by Chris D'Elia Listen/Buy "Stretch" Continue reading

Posted Nov 19, 2009 at Snacks and Shit

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Chris D'Elia is now following The Typepad Team

Nov 19, 2009