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Erica B.
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My FB timeline has been so filled with, "We got our ass beat like that too when we were little, and we turned out fine." Well, that's debatable. I don't remember ever being hit with a switch. And extension cord? Yes. A Daniel Green house slipper? Yes. A wooden spoon? Yes. And that shit was abuse. My mother *attempted* her last beating of me when I was 14. I'd skipped school. I said attempted because by that time, I'd made up in my mind no one was going to lay hands on me -- NOBODY! Beatings make children hard. And the only thing circulating in my mind was taking that extension cord and putting her ass through the sliding closet doors of my bedroom. Which ended up happening. A "spanking/beating" turned into a full-blown fight. I wasn't dealing with that shit. (Disclaimer: I was raised by my grandmother from the age of 2. I had an absentee mother that thought she could show up and be a disciplinarian. There was never any respect there. #Girlbye) Have I spanked my kids? Yes. There's a big ass difference in spankings and beatings? Was it always countered with an explanation of why and followed up with love? Always. I don't believe in spanking a child to the point of leaving welt marks and bruises. That was my life -- long-sleeved shirts in summertime. When I have to spank Isabella who is in the midst of the TERRIBLE TWOs and I mean terrible. That's the most strong-willed child I've ever seen in my life! She gets a pop on the back of the leg with my hand. I threaten her all of the time with a wooden spoon though!
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Nope.
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Grown people can live their lives however they choose. But I don't want to hear about it and I don't want to be associated with it. And why would they want to be around someone that they can't share their life with? Because that topic would be off limits. And we couldn't hang. As a married woman, that's not a good look. Even girlfriends should be equally yoked. I think if her life has gone off the rails like that, we've probably come to the crossroads of outgrowing one another's friendship. And I'd have to wish her well...
Toggle Commented Sep 15, 2014 on Dating Marrieds at Rantings of a Creole Princess
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My great-grandmother would scrub my elbows and knees with a BRUSH during bath time until they were tender and red when I was little. And I had to mix Jergen's lotion with Vaseline and rub on them after my bath. And if I was caught crawling around and playing on my knees, that was a scolding and a warning that I would make my knees black. I think if I never applied a drop of lotion to my knees and elbows, that skin would never become dry or discolored. But I don't have to treat that skin any differently than any of my other skin.
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I don't know about "joy", because it's just something that simply has to be done. But I cook all day long -- seems like it. I cook breakfast... I'll cook lunch... and dinner. Michael cooks on the weekends, and sometimes dinner throughout the week. And I also hit the grocery store daily. I don't like frozen meat. We eat A LOT of seafood and I buy it fresh on the day I cook it. And we eat a lot of produce. So I'm not open to shopping for the week. Plus, I have the advantage of having multiple grocers within a mile of my home. Growing up, we had REAL food. I'm definitely not open to cooking big meals like that daily.
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Sorry for your loss.
Toggle Commented Aug 26, 2014 on Empty Day at Rantings of a Creole Princess
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This kind of thing has been happening since the beginning of time: "Momma's baby, daddy's maybe". My grandmother use to say, "Feed it long enough and it'll look like you." But that doesn't excuse the wife's deception or makes it right. But with the passing of time, on the part of the child -- it is what it is. Now how he deals with the wife is -- whatever. But that's his child and he's that child's father. Simple. A real man would know this. But the biggest problem I have in this scenario is for this man to go and tell a family member about this. He hasn't even decided how he's going to handle this situation (i.e. will the parents ever tell the child). This was not his story alone to tell. It affects more than just him and his damaged pride and ego. I've seen information like this take on a life of its own within families. And it tends to come out in spiteful ways at horrible times. Foul on his part. And in the State of Alabama, a judge would laugh at his ass. We have a little law here that states the legal husband is the legal father of a child born during the marriage regardless of paternity. The biological father would have to convince the legal father to terminate his rights before he or any of his family members were allowed to apply for custody or visitation of a child. So regardless, it's his kid.
Toggle Commented Aug 12, 2014 on Scenario... at Rantings of a Creole Princess
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I'm the most cynical person I know, and I don't see how or why this would have to end with the woman being hurt. If anybody would end up in their feelings, it would be the guy. He's the one asking her to stay. Or they could really click and live happily ever after. Stuff like that is not reserved for rom coms... it happens in real life sometimes. Or they could have a really great memorable night and each go their separate ways when the sun comes up. But I don't see cuddling after a one-night stand as a recipe for hurt.
Toggle Commented Aug 4, 2014 on Stay With Me at Rantings of a Creole Princess
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I could do this as a day activity. And then I need to leave. I'm too old and set in my ways for extended periods of time.
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I don't know many people buying $300 dresses. And even fewer buying special occasion dresses. Rent-the-Runway is the business now. And I would recommend that to anyone needing a special occasion/I'm just going to wear this once dress.
Toggle Commented Jul 28, 2014 on $300 Dress at Rantings of a Creole Princess
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I think you did a wonderful job of breaking this down according to modern politics. BUT, you can't over look the religious aspect when dealing with two majorly religious groups of people. This goes back way beyond 500 years. It started with Abraham and his two sons -- Isaac and Ishmael. I know you knew someone would bring up this point. So I'll do it. The Jews who are decendants of Isaac, believe that the "Land of Canaan -- The Promised Land" (Israel) was promised to "The Chosen People" (The Jews) by God. It's written in The Torah. Contrary to that, the Arab people who are decendants of Ishmael believe that Allah promised the land to them. Now, I admittedly have never read a word of the Qu'Ran, but I've read various opinions on the interpretation of who is actually supposed to inherit the "The Holy Lands". I am not discounting what you said. But you can NOT discount the religious aspect of the contention in the Middle East either.
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We've taught our kids to present well in public. Before they were old enough to even understand, Michael DRILLED in those kids the importance of not embarrassing us or themselves in front of White people. Look, I'm a master "code switcher". We've always taught that there are things you don't say or do in the presence of other folks. I don't know why the children in your life can't find jobs. Maybe it's the climate in your area. But mine have never had a problem. Mikaela earns good teenager money at Footlocker. She's been there for a year. And I bought her a little black suit from Burlington Coat Factory. Did her hair... lightly applied makeup... went over basic interview questions and she got that job! Maybe those kids should ask around their peer groups to find out where other kids are working. Blackness though... those are interesting thoughts. I never worry about being tarred by those ridiculous images. That's not me. That's not my family.
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Mikaela has boyfriend. He does not have a job. But his dad has taught him to be a gentleman. And I'm sure his dad gives him the money that he has. I wouldn't call them wealthy, nor do I feel wealthy is a prerequisite for dating. But as the mother of a young girl learning to navigate herself through the babysteps of the dating world (which a lot people don't teach, but that's a blog post in and of itself), we're teaching her how to carry herself and know that SHE IS THE PRIZE!!! If that young man wants to take her out, then it is his responsibility to earn the money or get it from his parents. They're going to the movies, he's not buying her a pair of Air Jordans!
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If he wants to date, why should that be any less of a priority? The best relationship advice I was ever given, was not to start something in the beginning of a relationship that you don't want to continue going forth.
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I introduced Mikaela to MY Molly Ringwald. Not the mom from The Secret Life of the American Teenager. But to The Breakfast Club. And she loved it!
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Twelve year olds shouldn't be dating in my opinion. But that's neither here nor there. I have 2 daughters, and I would STRONGLY advise them to keep it moving if a young man had the expectation of them going dutch. That's not a date. And even my 22 year old daughter who is more likely to be hanging out with male "homies"... the guy still pays. Because that's what men do. I blame parents (like the father in the prom scenario) that don't instill chivalrous acts in young men that they are sending out into the world. And there are a lot of women that place their "princes" on pedastals and think girls should consider themselves lucky. And also some women that have been hardened by life and felt that if they had to do whatever, so should other women -- and they push these jaded lessons off on their children.
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The cheap organic one. I only buy this to clarify my hair. So, no point in spending $7.
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Instagram and food pics are insightful. People who appear to have relatively "good sense", make some terrible food choices... and think it's cute. And will unabashedly brag about it as if the rest of us are hating! I hope they realize what's around the corner. If the weight and health issues haven't gotten them YET, they will! I don't engage folk about what they eat. It's there business. Especially when they are not my relatives and their health issues won't become a burden on my life.
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I have NEVER in almost 25 years paid one of my kids a single, solitary red cent to do ANYTHING in the home that they live in. Don't make me start singing Evangelist Shirley Caesar's "No Charge". The thought of that pisses me off.
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I'm good. And here's why: If the mother felt the child was old enough and responsible enough to be roaming freely, then why was the child not allowed to remain in the safety of their own home? There is too much out there for her to have allowed this. I would've felt better about this situation if she'd had taken the kid to the library and had gotten them some books and made them sit there during her shift and read. The person that called the police probably and notice a routine in the child's comings and goings. Now what if that had been a child abductor instead of a concerned person?
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Suspensions, detention, Saturday school, etc... is not designed as a punishment to the child. It's to punish the parent(s) in order to have them discipline their child(ren). Some 5 year olds are hellions. And are disruptive as hell to the learning environment. Why should other children's time be wasted while the teacher is dealing with a kid that is not behaving? Whether or not they are being disobedient or cryers, something needs to be done.
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I would've called 911 and hung around until the cops came. They have EXCELLENT response times in my area and would've probably been already patrolling the shopping area.
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Eve's Bayou.
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Sometimes everyday. But that's more like in spots. And if I didn't have a messy toddler, I would NOT be vacuuming everyday.
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Like Kermit, that's none of my business! But I'd think to myself that he could've found an American golddigger. Those Eastern European mail-order brides think all American men have money and they're coming to live the dream and get some citizenship.
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