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I feel better. The evening before the comment, I went to the meetup. As I said, I like socializing but it puts a real stress on me. Compare it to long-distance runners, who love the running but can't do it all the time because long-distance running is not a natural human ability that you can do all day everyday. Tonight my ex told me my daughter is not doing as well in school as she normally does. Turns out she feels I spend more time with my son than with her. This isn't true but I know why she feels it. My son and I give of very few non-verbal signals and to a 'normal' person, that can be disquieting, especially to a 6yo that doesn't understand it. So my energy will go there now. It will be a bigger effort for me than for others but I need and want to do it (seriously, it takes making a checklist for me - like a long-distance runner making a training schedule - asperger has good sides but it also kicks you in the head often) A less important note: I tried it all when I was a teen. When I was 18, I found a group but they were 90 miles away. That was the lenght I was prepared to go through, going there once a month. Beyond that, nothing even though I went to open days of 2 clubs. It's never been for lack of trying. There is an upside to always have been a lonely geek (not to mention an outsider even among the outsiders): I can actually play as 2 different players in a game against myself, completely following independent strategies where neither parts play with knowledge of the other. Of course I have complete knowwledge of both sides but I can play them as if it wasn't the case. It's a skill coming from having mainly yourself to play against :-D
Toggle Commented Feb 2, 2011 on In which we play Cal & D. at WWdN: In Exile
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It's entirely clear what you meant by your tweet. People that didn't understand it are sons of very silly persons, the kind that will end up complaining about the low-paying jobs they ended up in. THEY are the people insulting those that are happy in such jobs.
Toggle Commented Feb 2, 2011 on a point of clarification at WWdN: In Exile
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How do people find groups to play with? I just recently put it out there to a guy (man, he is older than me, which means 'older than 42') I meet every month at an SF meetup. I told him I'd have time during which weeknights I can play, one of which coincided with one of his group. We know each other, we've seen each other for over a year now, what the fuck does it take? As an asperger, I feel comfortable around nerds, dorks and geeks. I socialize with them and all but still there is that last nearly invisible divide. If it wasn't for my autistic son, I would hardly play at all. Even though I'm surrounded by geeks who play these games. If it wasn't for my autistic son (bless him) I wouldn't have played Magic the Gathering yet. I even got my 6yo non-autistic daughter to play. What. Does. It. Take. I've been going to a wargaming club once or twice a month (as far as taking care of the kids allows) for over half a year now. I faithfully go to the monthly SF meetup, skipped only once in over a year. If the problem is that I, try as a might, don't seem to fit in the (admittingly very few) social conventions of even nerds, I don't know what to do. Just being nice, friendly, social and even conversational clearly doesn't cut it. I'm about to give up and retreat again to the internet and for the rest of it play those games with no-one but my awesome kids. Or is a year of hanging out with like-minded people too short to be admitted into the inner circle? And now I've finished writing this, I realize this is harder on me than I let on.
Toggle Commented Feb 1, 2011 on In which we play Cal & D. at WWdN: In Exile
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I don't like doom scenarios. So I'm trying to come up with a scenario that does not result in the decline of American science. The only light I see is that I also cannot see the US decaying into a religious state. The Bush administration left such a terrible mess, ending with an economic crisis that whoever was to follow him could not win against. Because I cannot see how a group of humans can be smart and influential enough to time this just so (a nice plot for a book or movie but no more), the disasters caused or accelerated by the Bush administration happen fall in the favor of (neo-)conservatives by chance. Here in Europe, things move relatively stable but slowish. Through history we have had terrible, grand-scale wars (and the worst epidemic known to mankind, as good as decimating the population) and the continent survived. This is not particularly a result of the people but of climate and resource conditions. You might focus on short periods as evidence of the contrary but looking over the centuries, or millennia, there has been steady growth. Even the long dark anti-science anti-freedom religion-dominated period of 500AD to 1500AD was eventually overwon. Asia might very well be the next mover and shaker. Not forever and not right now but they are good for a few centuries starting in the latter half of this century. I see no exit to that. Despite the best efforts of the Founding Fathers, their is an undercurrent of the kind of religion the pilgrims fled from. Only darker. For the nerds here: I'm talking Warhammer 40,000 dark. But I still don't see that happening. And I hope it won't.
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My longest friendship is with a woman who is now a librarian at UNLV. We go back almost 24 years, we met at the 1987 SF Worldcon in Brighton, UK. I always held librarians in awe, one of the things I might aspire to be. As a kid I placed a librarian somewhere at the top of the chain of jobs to hold even though I never approached them (If anyone of you think you were shy as a kid, you don't know shy unless you were one to shy away even from friendly people that clearly want to help you)
Toggle Commented Jan 29, 2011 on librarians are awesome at WWdN: In Exile
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So there they are :-) They don't look anything like in the book :-P I also so the future authors of Happiest Days Of Our Lives part 2 and 3. My picture would involve my 2 kids, I and an attic (you, know, single dad, divorce and stuff). Yesterday I played Magic the Gathering with them. It was also the first time I played it. Same goes for Warhammer, I played it with them first. With no holds barred, I'm geekifying them. Which is probably the reason I'm still single. I really should go out more but that means sacrificing time with my kids.
Toggle Commented Jan 17, 2011 on In which I am a proud father at WWdN: In Exile
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It has to have been Amanda Peet. She is my hero against the villain Jenny McCarthy. If you have no idea why: I have aspergers, my son has autism. Boo McCarthy, yay Peet.
Toggle Commented Jan 16, 2011 on We Demand MacNeil! at WWdN: In Exile
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I'm going to do a movie quote. I shouldn't but..... WE NEED A BIGGER BOAT! In my less public life, I'm going through a rough patch now (financially and personally - and I'm not using the term 'rough patch' lightly). I found a rope and it gave me 2 choices: hang myself or climb up with it. The climb is going to take 5 years, I know that already. I'm climbing, if only to show my kids how it's done. I take inspiration from many people, known and unknown. Yours is among it.
Toggle Commented Jan 10, 2011 on Happy New Year. I'm on a boat. at WWdN: In Exile
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Well, lad, you look absolutely smashing. Would I lie to you?
Toggle Commented Oct 31, 2010 on The Circle is Complete at WWdN: In Exile
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I have proof my son is my 2.0: I have aspergers, he has autism. Between us, being actual hard-wired geeks, the level of geeking out is off the space charts. So now I'm thinking how to put this on a sticker. Ideas anyone?
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Indeed, great books. Reading the BFG for my kids was awesome. I need to read them other Dahl books.
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Thanks Randi. Where I live it's never been much of a problem and still I didn't declare my bisexuality until I was 34. Over here being bi doesn't even come with much of the unique prejudices you get over it. To be 81, you've seen it go from potentially lethal hate to gaining acceptance. We're still not there and until 2 boys or girls can hold hands at school like their hetero peers, we have some ground to cover. So your coming out is very relevant. Again, thanks.
Toggle Commented Mar 21, 2010 on James Randi: "I'm gay." at WWdN: In Exile
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Mar 21, 2010