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Elayne Savage, PhD
San Francisco Bay Area
http://www.QueenofRejection.com/about_personal.htm http://www.QueenofRejection.com/about.htm
Recent Activity
Thanks to all for the encouragement and feedback on this blog. I wish s days go by I could feel more assured, however, I only feel more and more alarmed. Today the government reported they were only able to reunite a handful of the 100++ under 5 years old children by today's deadline. Elayne
Actually the most damaging ‘dirty little secret’ of "Blended Families" is how the unrealistic expectation that there will be seamless “blending’ leads to disappointment and perceived rejection that accompany these expectations. For 30 years as a family therapist I have been addressing problems that can arise when thinking in terms... Continue reading
Posted Dec 19, 2017 at Elayne Savage's Communication Tips
By Elayne Savage, PhD I don't remember much about my high school years. I was pretty much a mess after my mother and grandmother died. I went through the motions of classes, friends, activities. And yet each day was a re-creation of the blur of the day before. I felt... Continue reading
Posted Sep 6, 2017 at Elayne Savage's Communication Tips
By Elayne Savage, Ph.D. It happens so fast. All it takes is a wilting look, an insulting tone of voice, or a raised eyebrow. You find yourself taking it personally and your knee-jerk response seems all out of proportion to the event itself. You wonder, "Where on earth did that... Continue reading
Posted Sep 5, 2017 at Elayne Savage's Communication Tips
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By Elayne Savage, PhD A driver comes from out of nowhere, slows down to a crawl, cuts you off, tailgates, or flashes their lights. It feels like an invasion of your personal space. Words or obscene gestures are exchanged, It starts getting out of hand. Before you know it you’re... Continue reading
Posted Sep 5, 2017 at Elayne Savage's Communication Tips
So glad my passion for this subject came across! Still crossing my fingers for some integrity here.
Thanks Ernestine. You sure know what it's like. They really do become family members. Elayne
Thanks, Roberta for recognizing my intent to "have a conversation" with the readers!
Thanks to each of you for responding and for your support. It's amazing to me how it's so clear how misogynistic folks just don't "get it." What blind spots they have!
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A "Diss" List of ways we feel disrespected Continue reading
Posted Aug 4, 2016 at Elayne Savage's Communication Tips
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Personal boundaries are about respecting the personal space, feelings and ideas of others. This useful overview includes descriptions, examples and tips for navigating boundary confusion. Continue reading
Posted Jun 4, 2016 at Elayne Savage's Communication Tips
If our impressions are discounted often, we learn to discount ourselves as well. Sometimes we begin to doubt our own perceptions and stop trusting ourselves Continue reading
Posted May 29, 2016 at Elayne Savage's Communication Tips
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My grandmother was the Trading Post Lady of 7th and L Streets in SE Washington, DC. She was also the Listening Post Lady because her corner grocery store was the hub of the neighborhood - and besides, she had the only telephone phone in those days. Continue reading
Posted Mar 27, 2016 at Elayne Savage's Communication Tips
Thanks to all for your perceptive comments. This was a fun memory to recollect. And fun blog to write.
I love this photo of you, Russ. It's charming. Hope everyone will open the link and enjoy the shy guy's energy. Yep, I can tell we were both shy 10 year olds! The link for the entire catalogue of your 2015 show at Smith Anderson North Gallery in San Anselmo, CA is http://www.poopah.net/approximations
By Elayne Savage, PhD Even though you know better, each year you might find yourself engaging in some wishful thinking. Maybe you were hoping that magically your family gathering will turn into the picture-perfect settings you've been seeing on TV. Or you were hoping mom will praise you for your... Continue reading
Posted Dec 30, 2015 at Elayne Savage's Communication Tips
By Elayne Savage, PhD The Holidays are prime times for gift-giving dilemmas. All too often someone gets their feelings hurt and takes something personally. Giving and receiving gifts can surely make the Holidays stressful. Who hasn't felt some anxiety about shopping for just the 'right' present? Sometimes retracing you steps... Continue reading
Posted Dec 30, 2015 at Elayne Savage's Communication Tips
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My grandmother was the Trading Post Lady of 7th and L Streets in SE Washington, DC. She was also the Listening Post Lady because her corner grocery store was the hub of the neighborhood - and besides, she had the only telephone phone in those days. Continue reading
Posted Nov 22, 2015 at Elayne Savage's Communication Tips
When politicians and the media play the fear card about terrorism, we may find ourselves reacting in a familiar child-like way wondering, "What's going to happen to me?" Continue reading
Posted Nov 20, 2015 at Elayne Savage's Communication Tips
Thanks, Deborah for adding to what I wrote. Your observation about the 16 MB personality types is really great.
Gail, I appreciate you letting me know when you like a post.
Thanks, Burt, for your encouragement.
Marc, I really appreciate your support of my ideas.
Thanks, Leslie, for your feedback! Elayne
Thanks, Mark,for your story about your commuting experience. What a terrific example of how situations cn quickly turn into feeling unfair. Your graciousness to your co-worker went above and beyond. So sorry it turned out that he was so self-serving when it came to presenting himself in positive light to management — at your expense! I just googled "No good deed goes unpunished." It means exactly what you are describing in your story about the commuting: "that life is unfair and people can do or try to do good things and still end up in a lot of trouble." Thanks for writing . . . Elayne