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I thought it was ok. I felt like the syntax was a little elementary. The entire story felt a little tentative to me. I suggest never using the verb, "to get" as you did on the second page of the pdf: " "...that Earth got hit harder...". I liked the idea of the story, of the characters, of the world. I would like to read more. I would buy a book or read more stories, because I think there is something interesting in this beginning. Good job.
Toggle Commented Feb 11, 2011 on HUNTER is here. at WWdN: In Exile
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Feb 10, 2011