a lovely story. also reminded me why moms are awesome, even when we didn't know it back in the day.

Sounds like a local version of the Russian subway dogs. http://englishrussia.com/2009/04/07/smartest-dogs-moscow-stray-dogs/ when smart dogs figure out Muni, I think they wlll take over Muni....

I can't remember the name of it, but there used to be an anime series about bartenders in Japan. Each episode would feature a different cocktail or spirit, and so on. I'm sure I've got a few episodes on a CD somewhere...it's funny how they make animes and manga about anything over there.

There's so much right with this, but this: " I am going to move to the East Coast so I can see it before you and then invent teleportation so that I can come back to San Francisco at 9:58 p.m. your time and stand outside your home with a megaphone blurting out the name of the person who got sent home." is priceless. (speaking as one of the most annoying twitterers in the world)

That's interesting....never heard of these dogs! in Moscow, there are dogs that have learned how to ride the subway to find food, etc. They have become so smart, they navigate complex routes hopping from line to line, and they even have sectioned off various sections as different dog packs' "turf." I read an article where a scientist was saying that if the self-selecting breeding continues (dogs on the subway look for other smart dogs) within a few generations, they may become a distinct species of animal not entirely 100% dog, due to their intelligence and navigation skills!

KARSAN's product makes me think of that episode of the Simpsons when Homer has some weird car and the guy tells him "It gets 50 hectares on a liter of Kerosene!" and when Homer can't drive it he yells "Put it in H! Put it in H!"

The TSA is nothing but "security theater," made up of people who think they're going to be the next Jack Bauer, when in fact ,they are overpaid security guards with an attitude problem. Time and time again, people have shown how easy it is to fake a boarding pass with a laser printer, bypass security, and so on. The fact that TSA "screeners" are abusive and jerks just ads to the fact that you and I and all of us are way less safe than we think we are. Israel has dealt with worse, and not only is the security better, they also avoid that whole "molest people" thing too. Let's ask Israelis to help us out, and let's let the thugs in high school with a God complex back out to the unemployment line.

dear GOD you took the 71? Just doing so on a hot day is masochistic, but on a day like yesterday? If we had a Muni Passenger Medal of Valor, you'd get one because damn....the 71?!? this sounds like it could be an ad for the shampoo and conditioner you use...

everything they say about the bagels is true...it's the water among other things..unlike some places out west that basically serve you a hamburger bun with a hole in the middle...

I couldn't believe just how many people were out yesterday. EVERYWHERE downtown had a billion people. I was running on about 4 hours of sleep that day and so desperately wanted to find a bar with a giant beer afterwards but they were all so crowded. I did manage to catch an N home by the ballpark that was virtually empty so at least I got to sit in the air conditioned part home. but inbound was a nightmare. everyone kept leaning on the bars so the doors wouldn't close! and we too had someone who almost pulled open the emergency door thing.

YIKES! that sounds terrifying. glad you are ok. burns are the worst.

people know who have babies or love babies or kids or whatever hate that stupid movie. it's cinematographic pablum designed to take cash from the insecure. big props to you for standing your ground, and buying 2 bottles of wine. as for the priest, well, if he's a Jesuit, those folks don't mind the drink....just ask my ex-father in law. if it was me A) I'd never make you watch baby island anything and b) we'd share good bourbon.

awesome. you can imagine some of the networks I find when I'm out and about with my laptop in SF. I remember in one neighborhood while using my computer outside at a cafe, I counted no less than 4 networks with totally bizarre names, and about a dozen "netgears". Mine of course is "Colonial One."

omg...that was a very well written and funny story. I was wondering if pee would be in the conclusion. When I lived in LA, I used to take care of my friend's cats down the street when he'd go out of town, and I swear the little bastards would leave me a nice lake of urine to soak up EVERY FUCKING DAY all over the new hardwood floors. They'd even sit there and watch me mop it up and laugh.

This is odd for several reasons: 1. for years, the USPS has told business customers who send zillions of pieces of mail into the system, that if a service day was cut, it would not be Saturday, but instead, Tuesday. There are many reasons why cutting Saturday service would hurt USPS revenue and business, too many to list here. 2. The USPS gets no subsidies from the US Government, so it has had to pay the full cost (minus a small one time donation) of upgraded security post 9/11. They have also had to fund the automation of the USPS out of their own pocket. So there's reasons beyond the Internet why they're having troubles. 3. Any alternative service for sending home delivery mail would be very very selective in the markets it would serve. Do not fool yourself into thinking that you'd pay less to mail a letter to rural Arkansas or Alaska with an alternate carrier - if they'd take it at all. FedEx, UPS, and DHL have entire regions they will not deliver to under any circumstances, and none offer guarantees the USPS does, particularly with parcels. When I was constantly shipping print samples from our direct mail rusn, UPS would routinely lose 30%+ of our parcels and say "Fuck you!" if we complained. We never had that problem with USPS, who had an entire unit and a police force and inspectors devoted to ensuring our stuff went through on time. Armchair bullshit about how Fedex would send your mail cheaper is that - bullshit. You have no idea how good you have it warts and all with USPS until we break it up, and then one day you'll have mail delivery as great as your cell phone service or your cable service -private monopolies with no reason to give two shits about you or mailing your bills and DVDs on time.

I was very sorry to hear this on the Twitter. I wasn't sure how to react. But, I know what it's like to lose a loved one and right now, I'm likely to lose some more. it sucks and yet you did your auntie a great poetic justice just now..I only wish I could do the same for my loved one.

If I haven't recently told you how awesome you are, reading this story (the parade alone? AWESOME) has given me another chance to do so. The combination of alcohol and "only in SF ZOMG" and your writing just made my afternoon. And it's been a really shitty afternoon so it took a lot to break me out of my seasonal affective disorder and daytime drinking and work.

I remember that time...I was living in Santa Cruz (!) and well, you can imagine how it all went down out there. I know, Santa Cruz, right?

"house an M&M" Now that is the only place in the world I think those words come in that order to mean that. (BTW, dare I ask...what was your tattoo of? Or is that getting too...weird?)

I deal with a similar thing when I speak at events and then people want a job in consulting or a campaign. I even had one from some 20 something who promised me he'd run for president in 20 years and wanted my advice and consulting now for "free" but promised me a job in his administration. Eeeyeah. This is why I'm glad I quit my job.

oh my GOD this was fucking hilarious. (the chicken and pig references fucking priceless) and right on. hell my stupid ass blog was BORN out of a horrid trip to Safeway via the N Judah which was full of fuckups. and don't get me started on shopping at drugstores....

once again the simpsons predicted this... first with Mr. Burns' song "See My Vest" http://www.area51newmexico.com/simpsons/simpsons_vest.html and that episode where Bart wonders what's happened to his dog, and he imagines them being thrown in the fires of the Titanic: [Horn Blows] [British Accent] Captain, can't we go any faster? I greatly fear we shan't be in Wimbledon by noonfall. No worries, madam. Lumley, shovel on more dogs, won't you? Aye, aye. More dogs! - [Bells Jingling] - More dogs!