/stands up, pulls down pants, slowly begins clapping,...realizes still at work..slowly pulls pants back up..

Its going to be jailbreak on Tannehill after every snap.....but seriously who will catch the ball on the off chance he is able to throw it?..

Roger..I am telling you..that's where the real story is..a young girls month long fight to dance half naked for men on a football field..NO ONE HAS TOLD THAT STORY!! ITS A GODDAMN PULITZER SITTING RIGHT THERE IN YOGA PANTS AND EYELINER!!

More Cheerleaders...

This season is going to be awesome for the simple fact that Sanchez and Tebow play on the same team...THAT fucking side show will entertain us to no end.

I BELIEVE Y'ALL!!!! I BELIEVE!!!!....HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!!!! /throws cell phone out car window

"Sweaty, Hot Dolphin Girl" above probably doesn't even care about us anymore / shoves hands in pocket and kicks can

The Bye Week is our best shot at winning...it will be tough..but we might pull it out.

I don't know what ya'll are complaining about...We beat the Redskins and the Bills last year!!! How awesome were those wins!?..I still think about them everyday...while I clean my gun..slowly.

And let us not forget that JT played with Marino...our last link to Dan. And like Dan, we surrouned JT with shit team for 15 years (think we were 6-10 the year the NFL Defensive MVP). Be great if we dont have to hear another Dolphin great during his retirement speech have to say "My only regret is not being able to bring a Championship to Miami.." JT was drafted in the 3rd round. Back when we actually had smart people in the Front Office who really knew what a fucking "Acorn" was.

It took Brady, Favre and Brees combined to break the records that Marino set by himself...He is a singular QB god and always shall be.

I hate this teams face.

Vagina. It will make us do remarkable and often incredibly stupid things. Very fine line there.

Damn, Dez's mom is down for anything.

dammit. just when you got the right syntax/accent down for "Existential Sparano" posts he gets fired...

Somebody needs to take this Fins season, put a tire iron to its head, stuff into a duffel bag, drive to the intercoastal, tie bricks to it, light a cigarette and dump this horrible fucking thing into the ocean.

GO AHEAD!! LOOK LIKE A SUPERBOWL TEAM AGAIN FINS!! WEEEEEEE!! WE LOVE TONY!! MATT MOORE IS OUR LEADER AND HAS A DREAMY ASS!!! WE ARE PLAYING FOR "RESPECT"!! WE NEEDED TO LOSE THE FIRST 7 GAMES SO WE COULD BE AWESOME NOW (NEXT TIME YOU OPEN YOUR MOUTH DANSBY I AM GOING TO FUCKSTART YOUR HEAD!) REAL FANS KNOW WE PLAY TO WIN NOT LOSE YOU SILLY!!! HEY OMAR! DO YOU THINK MATT MOORE IS THE ANSWER WE HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR? ALSO TELL ME MORE ABOUT YOUR DREADLOCKS! FUCK.IT.ALL...I WANT A FUCKING WR IN THE DRAFT NOW...WONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING ELSE...AND I WANT HIM TO COME FROM MONTANA!GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

8-8. Sparano and Ireland stay. Matt Moore is our QB. We draft Fucky McFuckFuck "Hybrid" TE/Punter from Fucktown, Ohio, Ross gives 20% ownership to Pitbull...and then I set the whole stadium on fire...

The only surprising thing about Marshall showing up drunk to an airport is that he didnt run into 10 teammates all twisted and trying to find their way out of Miami. Bet after every game half the team rips open a bottle of whiskey and red lines it to the airport and then sits in the parking lot weeping on their steering wheel..

"The Edge... there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over."---Hunter S. Thompston Fins fans know where the edge is now. Time for everyone to jump. #SuckForLuck

While we sucked awesomely last night, we still are not shitty enough. The Colts are absolutely horrible and Irsay is just fucking crazy enough to tank his season on purpose. We could easily fuck up and win against Denver next week.

"I, WHO HATH SOOTH-SAY'D THAT YOUR BELOVED DOLPHINS WOULD HATH"....too fucking funny. But lets face it, Burnett cant cover TE's or stop the run. He is actually a downgrade vs Crowder. Yes, I said that. Crowder is better.

I just stood up and fake spiked my cock on my laptop.

i mean, no reason to call Dudes apt. "small"...he is doing his best..

Jesus, think about this. The Dolphins used to be so awesome and Dan Marino such a fucking god that people randomly PAINTED PICTURES OF HIM!! Nobody is painting us now.....