Dear Wil, Never set the cat on fire, you only will annoy it The flames will make the beast perspire; it surely won't enjoy it Likewise do not ignite the dog, the snake, the gerbil, or the frog No, never set the cat on fire And mind your manners, as circumstances may require And never set the cat on fire Don't open up the cabin hatch; the air is sure to leave it And air is very hard to catch; you never will retrieve it And even though your life's a bore, don't open the reactor door Don't open up the cabin hatch And mind your manners, as circumstances may require And never set the cat on fire Don't change the navigator's data, someone's sure to see ya You know the captain's view of that, a very bad idea He doesn't want his ship to race forever lost in endless space Don't change the navigator's data And mind your manners, as circumstances may require And never set the cat on fire Don't start an interstellar war; it has no helpful uses When someone asks you 'what's it for?', you'll only make excuses If thirty trillion folks get hurt, you'll go to bed with no dessert! Don't start an interstellar war And mind your manners, as circumstances may require And never set the cat on fire And mind your manners, as circumstances may require And never set the cat on fire (Lyrics from Frank Hayes' "Never Set the Cat on Fire": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xvZfGyXa1Ic )