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Homemaker Man
Recent Activity
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So we found this injured bird in the backyard. A grackle. I found it. The poor thing was flopping around on its back and trying to turn upright without success. I got some gloves on and tried setting it upright.... Continue reading
Posted May 25, 2013 at DadCentric
In my city there lives a man. And educated man. An educating man. Freshly made principal of the High School just this year. He grew up in this city. My wife remembers sitting behind him in Junior High.He started his... Continue reading
Posted Jan 23, 2013 at DadCentric
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The Peanut believes in Fairies. Hard. In fact the Peanut believes that she is a fairy. Possibly their erstwhile ruler banished long ago because of some horrible bureaucratic oversight. This belief was implanted by her mother, the Aunties in Maine,... Continue reading
Posted Oct 17, 2012 at DadCentric
That would be called kidnapping Cheryl. And yes.
Toggle Commented Oct 4, 2012 on The Best at DadCentric
1 reply
Well, as long as they were someones.
Toggle Commented Oct 4, 2012 on The Best at DadCentric
1 reply
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I could hear it as we strode down the hall. We took our place at the end of the line. We entered through the big swinging doors and the sound ripped into me. My eyes watered and my head thrummed... Continue reading
Posted Oct 3, 2012 at DadCentric
Dateline Chicago: The streets of Chicago ran argyle today as the teachers of the city took to them to demand soaring salaries and shorter days. "It's all about da Benjamins, baby!" Screeched 47 year old 9th grade Civics teacher Mary... Continue reading
Posted Sep 12, 2012 at DadCentric
Killjoy.
Toggle Commented Aug 30, 2012 on Shower Scene at DadCentric
1 reply
Im beginning to understand why some people never take off their shirts.
Toggle Commented Aug 30, 2012 on Shower Scene at DadCentric
1 reply
Wisdom, you have.
Toggle Commented Aug 29, 2012 on Shower Scene at DadCentric
1 reply
CMBO (Crying My Boobies Off).
Toggle Commented Aug 29, 2012 on Shower Scene at DadCentric
1 reply
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The bathroom was warm and clean and busy. Bright white tiles and light wooden partitions. Men coming and going. Taking showers in one of the three shower stalls or leaving their leavings in one of the other accoutrement built for... Continue reading
Posted Aug 24, 2012 at DadCentric
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"Hello, this is the Bakery Dept., Homemaker Man speaking How can I help you? "Well Homemaker Man in the bakery we've got a big fucking problem." "What happened?" "Your son just stepped on a rake and it went clean through... Continue reading
Posted Aug 15, 2012 at DadCentric
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Someone once said, "You make your own luck." I think it was Anne Frank. Maybe not. For the past eight months I've worked part time in the bakery dept. of a national supermarket chain which I have referred to in... Continue reading
Posted Aug 1, 2012 at DadCentric
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What stars shine and fade and shine again in the sky; warming upturned faces with the glow of patriotism writ loud upon a black canvas? Why, those would be fireworks. I fucking hate fireworks. I didn't always. Then the kids... Continue reading
Posted Jul 4, 2012 at DadCentric
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We took the kids to their first ever at-the-movie-theater movie yesterday. This is not a movie review, so I won't be getting to much into what movie it was, but the heroine was a red headed warrior princess and if... Continue reading
Posted Jun 27, 2012 at DadCentric
Naw. That post is entitled F-F-F -Fu AAAAAAAHHHHHHGG-what?
Toggle Commented Jun 14, 2012 on Secrets at DadCentric
1 reply
Im funny, shes poignant.
Toggle Commented Jun 14, 2012 on Secrets at DadCentric
1 reply
We cant have those things hidden around the house because if we did Id be replying to your comment from dead.
Toggle Commented Jun 14, 2012 on Secrets at DadCentric
1 reply
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Secrets. Tiny, twisted, gremlins, gnawing at your conscience. Whispered giggles of surprises yet to come. Nagging itches between your shoulder blades. Kept or sold. Shared or hoarded. Left to fester or dragged into the light of day. We are all... Continue reading
Posted Jun 13, 2012 at DadCentric
Good point.
Toggle Commented May 31, 2012 on The Peanut of Doom at DadCentric
1 reply
That sounds very tough. In our case at least, she didnt know MaPa all that well.
Toggle Commented May 31, 2012 on The Peanut of Doom at DadCentric
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Thanks a lot man. And I personally would never crack you open and dip you in butter. Those other red lobsters sure, but youre not like those lobsters . . . Wait, is that racist? Im uncomfortable.
Toggle Commented May 31, 2012 on The Peanut of Doom at DadCentric
1 reply
I dont know man. Some days the kids are total Stoics. Others, they cry at the thought of killing a lobster.
Toggle Commented May 30, 2012 on The Peanut of Doom at DadCentric
1 reply
I dont know man. Some days the kids are total Stoics. Others, they cry at the thought of killing a lobster.
Toggle Commented May 30, 2012 on The Peanut of Doom at DadCentric
1 reply