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As of next week, this URL will automatically redirect you to JenLancaster.com. (But you're welcome to click the link now, as the new site is live.) Once the URL is switched, I'll post the new RSS feed. Thanks! Continue reading
Posted Feb 26, 2015 at jennsylvania
I've been begging for this ever since I learned it was an option and I'm so excited to announce that my pain-in-the-assery has finally paid off! From now until 11/5, my first memoir Bitter Is the New Black is available for a $2.99 ebook download! The link to all platforms is here: http://bit.ly/10yA3N4 (Or you can just pull up Amazon, BN.com, iBooks, etc. because I assume you don't need me to explain how to buy an ebook.) (Also, to make it easier for those on the older model ereaders, the footnotes are embedded in the text in brackets, largely because I'm one of those people who's too lazy to do all that clicking just to find a footnote that reads "Damn.") (And again, to anyone who's new here, please note the Netflix show about going to prison is an entirely different iteration of Is the New Black. Although that memoir's really great - arguably far better - it's not part of this promotion.) Happy reading! And act now! Continue reading
Posted Oct 29, 2014 at jennsylvania
I'm delighted to announce the Eighth Annual Witty Women event on October 16th! Please join authors Stacey Ballis, Amy Guth, Claire Zulkey, Wendy McClure, and me for a night of wine, women, and wit! Hands down, this is everyone's favorite event of the year and we're all so happy to be together again. The fun begins at 7:00 PM on October 16th at The Book Cellar on 4736 N. Lincoln Ave in Chicago. Reservations aren't required to attend this free event, but please arrive early to guarantee yourself a seat. Personally, I'll be sharing the one-time-only tale of the Worst Trip Ever before I turn the whole thing into a screenplay. Highlights include The Unintentionally Creepiest Museum in Existence, The Curiously Large Butternut Squash (notable as the only point of interest on Syphilis Beach), Saint Gardening Glove, and so much more! Hope to see you there! Continue reading
Posted Oct 6, 2014 at jennsylvania
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I'm pleased to announce many exciting happenings this week before I go underground and finish two books in the next five months! (Is the "because I'm a procrastinating moron" implied here or do I need to be more explicit? Wait, don't answer that.) First up on Thursday, I'm delighted to be in conversation with actress/author Jenny Mollen about her hilarious memoir I Like You Just the Way I Am. She's outrageous and funny and, most importantly, smart, which is what initially caught my interest. As I read on, I realized she hates all the stuff I hate, ergo she's now my girl. Come see us here: Thursday, June 19th at 6:00 PM Lincoln Belmont Library 1659 W. Melrose Chicago, IL Books will be available by my friends at the Book Cellar. As of now, there's no official event registration, but if that changes, I will keep you posted. Next up, if the Jenny event weren't awesome enough, on Sunday I'm thrilled to be a part of the MONSTERS OF CHICK LIT SUMMER BAND-BACK-TOGETHER TOUR. Okay, it's not really called that. (Note to self - have tee shirts made anyway.) But when I have the honor/privilege of appearing with the amazing Sarah Pekkanen, Sarah Jio, Amy Hatvany, and Stacey Ballis, I feel this is what the event SHOULD have been titled. Come be a part of the fun here: Sunday, June 22nd at 1:00 PM (doors open at 12:00) City Winery 1200 W. Randolph Chicago, IL Admission is $5 and includes... Continue reading
Posted Jun 16, 2014 at jennsylvania
Here are the upcoming dates for the paperback release of The Tao of Martha which I really had planned to post sooner, were it not for technical difficulties as explained in the long-ass header: TUESDAY, MAY 6 BROOKLYN, NY The Bookmark Shoppe 8415 3rd Ave 7:00 PM Guidelines: One copy of THE TAO OF MARTHA is encouraged to be purchased at The Bookmark Shoppe to enter the signing line. FRIDAY, May 9 LAKE FOREST, IL Re-Invent Gallery 202 Wisconsin Ave 6:00 - 9:00 PM This is more of an art opening than a traditional signing. You'll be able to peruse the furniture I've refurbished and reinvented, based on what I've learned/implemented from my year of living Martha. Books will be available for purchase (as well as the furniture itself) and I'll be speaking at 7:30. But feel free to drop in at any time, and the exhibit will run for a week. THURSDAY, MAY 15 HIGHLAND PARK, IL Highland Park Public Library 494 Laurel Ave 7:00 PM Books will be sold by The Book Stall. Guidelines: One copy of THE TAO OF MARTHA is encouraged to be purchased from The Book Stall to enter the signing line. I have a couple of other events coming up in June, all of which include other FAB authors, with details to come. On June 10th, I'll be with Liz Fenton and Lisa Steinke for their wonderful new book Your Perfect Life in conjunction with the Lake Forest book store. On June 22nd, we're... Continue reading
Posted May 4, 2014 at jennsylvania
Are you watching the show tonight? Am I winning anything? No. There’s your answer. I almost never watch. Why would I invest the time in an award show where there’s no possible chance of me personally receiving a prize/a treat/the adulation of all my peers? Aren’t you rooting for your favorites? I have no favorites. I haven’t seen any of the movies. However, I did just watch three straight seasons of Workaholics. Is Ders up for an Academy Award? No. Then, again, I don’t care. So you’re not invited to any Oscar parties? I’m not sure I could actually be friends with someone who took the Oscars seriously enough to plan a whole party around the notion of watching them. No offense. I’m just saying that I don’t need an excuse to eat popcorn and drink Chardonnay. Aren’t you interested in seeing the dresses? Yes. Which is why I’ll buy Us and People later this week. What about the fashion snark? What if Cate Banchett shows up in another throw rug? Then Tom, Lorenzo, and the Fug Girls will cover it. Don’t you enjoy being a small part of a greater whole, knowing the entire country is tuned in to the exact same thing you’re watching? If the greater whole had better taste, Veronica Mars, Party Down, and My So Called Life would still be on the air. Then I guess you’re not watching. Nope. And there’s nothing I can do to convince you that’s a mistake? Nope. So you’re... Continue reading
Posted Mar 2, 2014 at jennsylvania
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I have a couple of book announcements today, including tour dates for TWISTED SISTERS! First, HERE I GO AGAIN will be available in paperback as of Tuesday, January 7th! We changed the cover to what had originally been printed underneath the green book jacket and I'm delighted with how cute it is. (Really, the inset was too good to not be featured more prominently.) I love this cover so much I want to give it my class ring to wear on a chain around its neck, FYI. Anyway, if you dig a story about high school mean girls, time travel, the majesty of Whitesnake, and why karma really is a bitch, pre-order a paperback copy here, here, here, or here. (Of course, ebook copies are available right now!) As for TWISTED SISTERS, the hardcover and ebook come out on February 4th! (Again, massive thanks to the art department because they captured the theme so beautifully.) If you dig a story about sibling rivalry, body-swapping, and the magic that is reality television, this is the book for you! You can pre-order your copies here, here, here, or here. Now, how about some tour dates? As I'm traveling in February, I'm being sent to places where it's not eighteen degrees below zero and there aren't twenty inches of snow. If you live somewhere chilly, fear not - I'll be venturing into less temperate climates for the paperback release of THE TAO OF MARTHA in May. (Let's all hope the snow is gone... Continue reading
Posted Jan 3, 2014 at jennsylvania
Note: I'm hosting a book club discussion on Bridget Jones: Mad About the Boy on my Facebook Fan Page, if you'd like to join. Here's what's posted there: Hello, book club readers! Let’s talk about Bridget! BTW, MANY, MANY PLOT POINTS AHEAD, PLEASE STOP READING THIS NOW IF YOU DON’T WANT TO BE SPOILED. OKAY, YOU’VE BEEN WARNED. After a couple of weeks of consideration, I’m still not entirely sure of how Helen Fielding’s Mad About the Boy is sitting with me. Last fall, I couldn’t get over the feeling of good fortune I had when I heard this was coming out as I’ve missed Bridget terribly. Maybe that’s because I’ve read both Bridget Jones books so many times I’ve lost count and I watch the (first) movie whenever I run across the listing and then spend the rest of the exclaiming, “I choose vodka and Chaka Kahn!” Because of my own insane expectations/odd attachment, I pretty much set myself up to be disappointed; nothing could hold up to my memory of my most beloved character with her blue spaghetti and her scary granny panties and handbag full of rotting filet steak. I identified with so many aspects of her life, which is likely why this particular book took me aback. I really wasn’t anticipating Bridget losing Mark – it’s too close to real life. Hopefully losing my husband isn’t something I’ll have to deal with for decades, yet this book made me consider the eventualities. (I’m reminded of that... Continue reading
Posted Nov 1, 2013 at jennsylvania
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WITTY WOMEN Before I get into this week's Martha Monday, I want to make sure everyone has the details about the upcoming Witty Women event: Wednesday, October 23rd 7:00 PM (there's limited seating, so the event's first come, first serve) The Book Cellar 4736 N. Lincoln Ave Chicago, IL This marks the seventh year Stacey Ballis, Amy Guth, Claire Zulkey, and I have gathered to read, discuss, and most importantly, make each other laugh in Chicago's best indie bookstore! (And because it can't be said enough, the Book Cellar serves wine.) We'd be thrilled for you to join us as this event is hands-down everyone's favorite of the year. Find more details here! Hope to see you there! MARTHA MONDAY In terms of Martha Monday... I chalk painted some pumpkins and glittered others. Then I gave myself The Smartest Person Alive Award for having the foresight to make this mess outdoors. (Despite a million vacuum passes, my kitchen rug is still rather sparkly from last year.) #WINNING! I was able to hose everything down for clean-up in a matter of minutes. And now the cement around the pool area is iridescent at night, so that's an added bonus. However, I didn't actually finish decorating all the pumpkins. The day after I began to paint/glitter I found out that I had a book synopsis due today. Thus, I had a major priority shift, leaving me with a dozen unadorned pumpkins and gourds. Also? Forfeited my Smartest Person Alive Award by not... Continue reading
Posted Oct 14, 2013 at jennsylvania
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First, and most importantly, I've finished watching Breaking Bad so I'm now able to return to social media/the news cycle/the world, etc. without fear of having the end ruined. Years from now, someone will reference some event that happened while on self-imposed-spoiler-blackout and I'll have no idea what they're talking about, having missed an entire week of television news, talk radio, and the internet. (Since we finished the series last night, I've done little but read reviews and Buzzfeed coverage of the finale.) (Whomever started calling Todd's character "Meth Damon," please know you've garnered my undying affection.) Anyway... it's Martha Monday! This week I'd like to share a couple of painting projects I did when not tethered to the television. This won't be a tutorial, per se, because there are a lot of talented people who can teach you far better than I could. (Check out Brown Nest Blue Egg blogger Christen Bensten's videos here for excellent step-by-step advice.) Rather, in today's post, I'll be sharing the method to my madness. What started me down this chalk-painted path is Martha Radio on Sirius XM. Of everything Martha does, I love her radio show the most because it's - pardon the furniture pun - completely unvarnished. There's no "take two," there's no script, it's just Martha's completely spontaneous and natural reaction to questions. (And sometimes it's clear she's eating her lunch while broadcasting, which never fails to slay me.) One day over the summer, a college girl phoned into the show... Continue reading
Posted Oct 7, 2013 at jennsylvania
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“Are you still living by Martha’s dictates?” I’ve been asked this question in every interview and at every event since The Tao of Martha’s release. I’m pleased to say that I am, although I’ve been remiss in documenting my continued progress. I guess I figure that once the book is written, my obligation to record events ends. Yet I find readers are still interested, so I’ve been rethinking that strategy. Therefore, I’m delighted to bring you a new feature – Martha Monday! Every Monday I’ll post about some project/meal/various and sundry domestic accomplishment from my previous week. Not only will this get me back in the habit of writing after a glorious summer off, but I'll be even more likely to stick with good habits developed during the Tao. Or, things will go horribly awry and you can laugh at me. Either way, it's win-win, yes? Here we go... My awesome friend Lisa bought a place in Connecticut a couple of years ago and since then, she’s hosted an annual weekend that’s come to be known as Bitches at the Beach. It’s nothing but girls and gays and board games... and me lecturing everyone how the Long Island Sound is actually an estuary, because I pretty much didn’t know this word until I booked my first trip and I’ve since appointed myself the foremost expert in all things estuary-related. Estuary. Estuary. It’s a fun word to say, right? Anyway, one of the friends who shares this weekend with us is... Continue reading
Posted Sep 30, 2013 at jennsylvania
I'm so excited to announce the finalized plans for next week's mini-tour with two of my favorite authors - Laurie Notaro AND Quinn Cummings! The three of us did a panel together at the Tucson Festival of Books last spring and had such a lovely time that we waned to take our show on the road. Thanks to the brilliant teamwork of both Penguin Random House and Simon & Schuster, that's what we're doing! Come join the Three Amigas for a night of fun at: Wednesday, September 11th 6:30 PM Parnassus Books 3900 Hillsboro Pike Nashville, TN Thursday, September 12th 7:00 PM Barnes & Noble 2900 Peachtree Road NE Atlanta, GA I'm really bummed I won't be able to attend the third event due to a scheduling conflict (and seriously limited flight schedules out of Charleston), but Laurie and Quinn will happily represent on: Friday, September 13th 4:00 PM Blue Bicycle Books 420 King Street Charleston, SC As soon as I receive any applicable signing rules for the events (such as wristbands, line tickets, etc.), I'll post them here. Anyway, we're so thrilled to have the unique opportunity to tour together so we definitely hope to see you all! Wait, we're headed south - clearly, I meant Y'ALL!! Continue reading
Posted Sep 4, 2013 at jennsylvania
Here's a quick reminder that I'll be at the Warren Newport Library in Gurnee tomorrow night, Tuesday, August 13th, at 7:00 PM. (Yes, I'll be there with more treats and surprises a la the Palatine Library event!) Register for the free event here or by calling 847-244-5150 ext. 5. Hope to see you there! P.S. I'll shortly be announcing an exciting mini-tour coming up next month... Continue reading
Posted Aug 12, 2013 at jennsylvania
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I'm delighted to share the cover of Twisted Sisters, my newest novel, in stores everywhere on February 4th, 2014! And yes, this is my FAVORITE COVER EVER!! Continue reading
Posted Jul 24, 2013 at jennsylvania
Here's a quick reminder that I'll be doing a talk at the Palatine Public library tomorrow night at 7:00 PM. The event is free and open to the public and a bookseller will be on site if you'd like to purchase any books past/present. I'm also happy to sign books you already own. BTW, I shall be there with TREATS AND SURPRISES! (What do treats and surprises entail? I'm not sure. But still, there will be TREATS AND SURPRISES of some sort, count on that.) Here are the specifics: JULY 23rd, 7:00 PM PALATINE PUBLIC LIBRARY 700 N. North Court Palatine, IL 60067 Please register for the event here. Personally, I'm having trouble accessing the registration link, but am not sure if that's on the library's end or the fact that I'm too lazy to run a software update, so here's the program director's info in case you need it: Phil Skeltis 847.358.5881 x164 pskeltis@palatinelibrary.org I believe registration is largely so they can gauge how much staff to have on hand and how many chairs to unfold, so if you can't register, don't take that to mean you can't come. See you tomorrow... with TREATS AND SURPRISES! Continue reading
Posted Jul 22, 2013 at jennsylvania
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Two days, two kills. That’s my current spider-slaying record. I discovered the first one a couple of nights ago, hanging out on the wall of my bedroom. The arachnid was MASSIVE and HAIRY and possibly made me scream a bit. Mind you, I’m normally pretty Zen when it comes to spiders because I know how beneficial they are. I generally leave them in place or relocate them outdoors with a square of cardboard. Yet this one was MASSIVE and HAIRY, to the point that its MASSIVE HAIRINESS needs to be noted no less than three times. Also, the spider had some kind of marking on its back, which concerned me. Sporty racing stripe or possible black widow? I wasn’t about to find out. As I didn’t want it to escape while I hunted down Fletch, I decided to kill it myself. Death via Dyson. I ran across a smaller spider last night and, emboldened by the previous night’s success, smashed him post-haste with a wad of toilet paper. Two days, two kills. At breakfast this morning, I crowed to Fletch about how I was a super-empowered-spider-slayer now and he was all, “That’s some fancy feminism there, Tex. Ms. Magazine is certain to put you on the next cover.” Then it took me a minute to realize he was teasing me. Here’s the thing – and I’m not proud of this – I’m a terrible feminist because I’m never one to concern myself over the inequality of the sexes. I’m so... Continue reading
Posted Jul 9, 2013 at jennsylvania
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Oh, hi, is this thing still on? Yes? Okay, then. Although I wouldn't say the tour for The Tao of Martha killed me, I'm not entirely sure it made me stronger, as evidenced by last week's massive sinus and ear infection. (Still not entirely recovered from that, BTW.) (Also, apologies to everyone I insisted "feel my glands" at the City Winery event. In retrospect, perhaps I could have simply mentioned I was under the weather, instead of offering up physical evidence.) Regardless, hello, and thank you for coming out while I was on the road! As always, I love meeting you, even though the nine million flights I had to take to get there left me with lymph nodes the size of golf balls. (Which so many of you gamely palpitated at my urging. Again, I'm sorry. Sometimes I need an internal editor to screen my words I say before I say them.) Anyway, while I was on the road, many of you wanted to know if I was still living my life via Martha's dictates. I'm delighted to tell you that (much like a viral infection) I haven't entirely been able to shake her. Case in point, my Independence Day party was lovely, well-orchestrated, and almost 100% less white trash than last year. Unfortunately, I was largely too busy enjoying the day to photograph it. So, instead I'd like to offer the following before and after shots to demonstrate my devotion to said Tao. Here is Swampsylvania, AKA the... Continue reading
Posted Jul 8, 2013 at jennsylvania
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The tour for THE TAO OF MARTHA starts in less than a week! Whoooooooo's exciiiiiiiited? THIS GAL!! (It saddens me that I'm completely sober in this awful photo from last Easter.) (Also, ask me the "Who's excited?" question again when I'm two weeks into hitting a new city every day and I have strep throat and I'm getting up at 2:45 AM to catch a flight after going to bed at midnight.) (But in terms of TV, there's a badass thing that I'll tell you about as soon as I have the official go-ahead. You will die. For reals. Unless there's breaking news and I'm preempted and then I will die. For reals.) Anyway, as for tour specifics, I'm reposting the cities along with the rules for the signings. Some events will require wristbands and some require purchases. As the bookstores put forth a good deal of time and expense to bring me to their towns, I ask that you please comply with their rules. With the changes in publishing over the past few years, I realize what a gift it is to be sent on tour and I'm so grateful for the opportunity to meet you all in person. Here we go, with my remarks in italics: NEW YORK, NY Tuesday, June 4 Barnes & Noble 97 Warren St (at Greenwich St) New York, NY 10007 6 PM Guidelines: There will be a “bracelet system” for signing. Priority seating for those buying books. Anyone who goes through the signing... Continue reading
Posted May 28, 2013 at jennsylvania
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Who’s ready for the (Early) Summer Reading List? If your answer isn’t an emphatic “I am! I am!” then this post is likely not for you. First up? THE TAO OF MARTHA by this very attractive (okay, heavily Photoshopped) person on the book cover. See what I did there? I put my own book at the top of the (Early) Summer Reading List, less because I’m absolutely convinced it’s the best, best, best thing you’ll read all summer, and more because I’ll be in massive trouble if I don’t mention that I have a new memoir coming out on June 4th. (Apparently if I write a book and then don’t tell my audience I’ve written it, it’s like no one hearing a tree falling in the forest. Or some shit like that.) All kidding aside, I love this book and I hope you will, too. The Tao of Martha is my attempt at perpetrating a happiness project in which I spend a year living by Martha Stewart’s dictates. As I knew I was in for a rough 2012, I wanted a way to try to stockpile happiness when things went awry, hence this book. Although the notion of a happiness project sounds super-Oprah and all Eat, Pray, Love, I actually looked to Martha for inspiration because she offers actionable advice. She’ll tell you what to eat, how to pray, and who to love. I needed a drill sergeant and not a best friend, and Martha fit the bill beautifully. Tao... Continue reading
Posted May 22, 2013 at jennsylvania
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Please, come see me at any of the following events! NEW YORK, NY Tuesday, June 4 Barnes & Noble 97 Warren St (at Greenwich St) New York, NY 10007 6 PM PARAMUS, NJ Wednesday, June 5 Barnes & Noble 765 Route 17 South Paramus, NJ 07652 7 PM WASHINGTON, DC Thursday, June 6 Barnes & Noble 4801 Bethesda Ave Bethesda, MD 20817 7 PM RALEIGH/CARY, NC Friday, June 7 Barnes & Noble 760 SE Maynard Cary, NC 27511 7 PM SEATTLE, WA Monday, June 10 Third Place Books 17171 Bothell Way NE Lake Forest Park, WA 98155 7 PM PORTLAND, OR Tuesday, June 11 Barnes & Noble 7227 SW Bridgeport Road Tigard, OR 97224 7 PM SAN DIEGO, CA Wednesday, June 12 Barnes & Noble 10775 Westview Parkway San Diego, CA 92126 7 PM DALLAS, TX Thursday, June 13 Barnes & Noble 7700 West Northwest Highway Dallas, TX 75225 7 PM HOUSTON, TX Friday, June 14 Barnes & Noble River Oaks Shopping Center 2030 W. Gray Street Houston, TX 77019 7 PM PITTSBURGH, PA Monday, June 17 Barnes & Noble 100 West Bridge Street Homestead, PA 15120 7 PM MINNEAPOLIS, MN Tuesday, June 18 Barnes & Noble 3225 W 69th St Edina, MN 55435 7 PM ANN ARBOR, MI Wednesday, June 19 Nicola’s Books 2513 Jackson Rd. Ann Arbor, MI 48103 7 PM CHICAGO, IL Thursday, June 20 Barnes & Noble 55 Old Orchard Center Skokie, IL 60077 7 PM MILWAUKEE, WI Friday, June 21 Barnes & Noble 2500 N... Continue reading
Posted Apr 15, 2013 at jennsylvania
We’re at the dinner table last night when we see an ad for some super-explode-y, CGI-filled, alien-invading-looking movie. Naturally (and immediately) my interest is piqued. “Hey,” I say, “rewind what.” (If you don’t have the television on during dinner, then please congratulate yourselves for not slogging along in the cultural morass that is my life.) “I believe I’d like to see that film.” Fletch rolls his eyes. “Of course you would.” He takes a bite, chews thoughtfully and then mentions, “I think Channing Tatum may be in that movie,” which causes me to make what can only be described as an unholy noise coupled with a mass intake of breath. He rolls his eyes again. “I don’t get it – how come women are allowed to ogle Channing Tatum with impunity?” I reply, “Because my interest in him is innocent. I don’t want to marry him. I want to be married to you. I don’t even want to make out with him. Pretty much my plans for Channing Tatum include gawping and giggling.” “Let me ask you this – what would you do if I went all Pavlovian like you do every time you hear his name? What would you think if I was apeshit over… give me the name of some big female star today.” “Um… Miley Cyrus?” “Ugh. No. How about… Scarlett Johansson? What if I carried on like you do? What would happen? Listen, I know what would happen. You’d punch me.” I nod. “Most likely, yes.”... Continue reading
Posted Mar 14, 2013 at jennsylvania
If it ever stops snowing and I can, in fact, leave the house again, here's where I'll be over the next few weeks: SATURDAY, MARCH 9TH TUCSON, AZ Tucson Festival of Books Signing at the Mysterious Galaxy Bookstore booth Booth #301 (next to the U of A Mall Tent) Mall #2 University of Arizona 11:00 - 11:45 AM ALSO SATURDAY, MARCH 9TH Tucson Festival of Books Humor Is a Girl's Best Friend Panel with Quinn Cummings and Laurie Notaro (Moderator: Molly McKasson) Student Union - Kachina Room University of Arizona 1:00 PM - 2:00 PM (When I saw that Laurie and Quinn were on a panel together, I BEGGED to be a part of this event. I'm so freaking excited to do this with them that I'm not even mad that it's supposed to be fifty degrees and rainy in Tucson that day. Am happy to spray on my own damn tan if it means spending time with these hilarious women!) SUNDAY, MARCH 10TH Tucson Festival of Books Q&A with Laurie Notaro UA Bookstore University of Arizona 4:00 PM - 5:00 PM (Did you miss Laurie and me on Saturday? Well, we're back together on Sunday!) TUESDAY, MARCH 12TH Anderson’s Bookshop 123 West Jefferson Ave Naperville, IL 60540 7 PM Guidelines: Anderson’s will issue signing line numbers with a purchase of HERE I GO AGAIN. Books purchased outside the store will be honored in addition to the purchase of HERE I GO AGAIN, but limited to two per person. It... Continue reading
Posted Mar 5, 2013 at jennsylvania
Setting: Earlier this week at The Marrow restaurant in the West Village. “How awesome is this?” I say. “We’re in a new place, trying a new thing. I mean, it’s Tuesday – if we were home, we’d be camped on the couch, eating delivery and watching Doomsday Preppers. Look at us, out to dinner in New York together!” Fletch takes in the scene and nods. “Yeah, this is great… but so you know, I’m not eating rabbit neck.” “I’m sorry? He taps the menu. “Right here. There’s a dish made from rabbit neck. Yes, I ate squirrel when I went hunting with my dad as a kid, but I draw the line at rabbit neck.” I furtively glance over his shoulder to make sure no one’s listening. “Please never tell anyone you’ve eaten squirrel.” He shrugs. “It’s not so bad. Tastes like chicken.” “Listen to me,” I hiss. “Every time I’m in New York, and no matter how hard I try, I wind up feeling like I just rolled off the bus from Bugtussle. For once, I’d like to not have the waiter say, ‘So, where are you from?’ Just be cool, okay? Maybe we’re not hardcore foodies, but we’re not squirrel-eating rubes. Follow my lead.” “Okay.” I begin to read and… there are a lot of words I don’t understand on the menu. Like, a lot. “What is quark*?” He shrugs. “Software?” “So it’s software covered in hazelnuts and paired with stewed wolfberries? Yeah, probably not. By the way,... Continue reading
Posted Mar 1, 2013 at jennsylvania
Judgement call - we're rescheduling the Naperville signing due to inclement weather. The event is not going to happen tonight and I'm so very sorry. Here's the thing - there's no upside to me making this call. I don't get a Gold Star in the Big Book of Awesome for disappointing everyone. I don't make the bookstore happy by seeming like a total flake. I'm not delighting my publisher by not being there to facilitate the sale of books. And I hate the idea of having let anyone down, especially considering how much I love doing in-store events. There are no winners in this situation. Yet given the current weather and the ominous predictions for later today all over the metro area, I can't in good conscience ask anyone to risk their lives behind the wheel to hear me talk about mean girls, time travel, and Whitesnake. I'll have more details on the whens, wheres, and hows of rescheduling shortly. But for now, I wanted to let you know about tonight and to apologize again. I'll see you soon! Continue reading
Posted Feb 7, 2013 at jennsylvania
As much as I hope to see everyone at the Anderson's event in Naperville tomorrow night, I don't want you to die en route. (Is reasonable, yes?) So, we're going to pay attention to the winter weather warning for the rest of the day and by 1:00 PM tomorrow, we'll make a decision if the event needs to be rescheduled. Again, this is to make sure that none of us die in getting there. (Don't know where you may be coming from, but it's almost 100 miles total there and back for me.) For those of you who pre-ordered, please don't fret! We'll sort out all the details tomorrow if the weather chooses to be an asshole. For now? Game on. Remember, Here I Go Again = Not Dying En Route to Naperville. Will update you all tomorrow! Continue reading
Posted Feb 6, 2013 at jennsylvania