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Joe
Professional Counselor, PhD student, part-time writer, full-time Dad and Husband
Interests: Italian food, cooking, movies, writing, sports, books, baseball, umpires
Recent Activity
In this episode I discuss the three D's and the danger they present to Emotional Security. A local therapist stops by to talk about his new endeavor to help Veterans. Plus, more vinegar shenanigans! The Three D's Continue reading
Posted May 16, 2018 at The Joe Martino Show
Have you ever thought about what emotion or goal is primarily influencing your decision making processes? Explore these questions and more in this episode. Episode 7. What Drives Your Bus_ Continue reading
Posted May 9, 2018 at The Joe Martino Show
What's more dangerous than screen time for your kids? How do we deal with it? Find out in this episode. Episode 06. What's More Dangerous Than Screen Time for Your Kids_ Continue reading
Posted May 2, 2018 at The Joe Martino Show
You can attain a great understanding of your own goals and direction by working through some key questions that are dealt with in the podcast. Ep. 05. Propel Yourself into the Change Process Continue reading
Posted Apr 24, 2018 at The Joe Martino Show
What do you do when you make a mistake as a parent? This episode deals with how to apologize. When You Screw Up as a Parent 1 Continue reading
Posted Apr 22, 2018 at The Joe Martino Show
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I will never forget the day my husband approached me and said, “I want to open my own counseling practice.” When I asked, “Why?” He stated “Because I want to change the world one person at a time. I know that might seem lofty but that is what I want to do.” “If we can make one person better, that improves a family, which helps our community be healthier, which helps our world.” In order for us to change the world one person at a time, we knew it would take sacrifice and hard work. We opened our first practice in 2010. Today we own three practices in the greater Grand Rapids area and see thousands of patients a month. Our mission continues. Where there is a need. We plan to fill it. A couple of months ago, Lindsay Bryan, one of our office managers, approached me about a need she heard of at our local school. She heard that children were waiting on a list to receive mental health care. Lindsay knew right away, that children sitting on a waiting list to get care, was unacceptable, and did not support our mission. Lindsay took action and had a meeting with school personnel. As a result, Joe Martino Counseling will begin providing free serves to the local school. An article posted on April 11, 2018, on Mlive, stated: “One in five children in the country ages 3 through 17 have a diagnosable mental, emotional or behavioral disorder in a given... Continue reading
Posted Apr 13, 2018 at Erica Martino
One of the most under valued skills that any couple can develop is the skill to manage expectations. Ep. 3. Managing Expectations 1 Continue reading
Posted Apr 12, 2018 at The Joe Martino Show
Welcome to the Joe Martino Show. You can find all episodes listed below and listen here as well. If you use iTunes or CastBox, feel free to click on either of the tabs above. As soon as Google approves the Podcast (I have no idea what the hold up is),... Continue reading
Posted Apr 12, 2018 at The Joe Martino Show
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On April 2, 2018, I lost a very close friend and coworker, Marissa Stevens. By trade, I am a therapist. I tell people on a weekly basis how to grieve. I share the importance of letting oneself feel because feeling brings healing. I have had to take my own advice this week. Luckily it was spring break and half my clientele was away. One of my friends said to me “Don’t you wish this happened next week when you are busy so you don’t have time to think about it?” Honestly, yes that would’ve have been great because by nature I am an emotional stuffer. I don’t like to cry; I don’t like to express emotions. I am trying to get better at it because I know healing only happens when we allow ourselves to feel pain. On the other side of pain is healing. I miss Marissa so much. We chatted practically every day. She brought joy to my life on a gloomy day. She radiated beauty, strength, and endurance. There have been so many times in the last seven days that I have thought “I will just message Marissa” only to be consumed with grief when I realized I could not message her anymore. I have lost my grandparents, my mother in law and family friends but Marissa is the first person I have lost that I have done life with on a daily basis. I miss seeing her orange car when she pulled into the office. I... Continue reading
Posted Apr 8, 2018 at Erica Martino
This episode deals with practical ways to move through the change process and the things that can prevent our change. Episode 02. I want to Change so How do I do it_ Download the 6 Stages of Change Questions Download Wheel of UnChange Download Football of change Continue reading
Posted Apr 5, 2018 at The Joe Martino Show
This podcast episode deals with the idea of emotional security and how it drives everything in our relationships. It also answers some basic questions about the show and what you can expect in subsequent episodes. Episode 01. Emotional Security_ What is it_ Continue reading
Posted Apr 5, 2018 at The Joe Martino Show
Nothing in life will invite us to more regret than parenting. There are so many times, that no matter how it plays out, you and I will be tempted to think about the 3 million other ways we could have gone. But what happens when you know you really made a mistake? I address that situation in this video. Continue reading
Posted Mar 16, 2018 at Joe Martino
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You're not an idiot because something bad happened like you lost $100 that you can't afford to lose. You're not shameful because someone molested or raped you as a child. You didn't deserve to be raped because you were drunk at a party. Your worth isn't diminished because your father didn't know how to adequately love you. You're not worthless because your mom took every chance she could to remind you that you were an accident that wasn't planned. I do not believe you are an accident. I do believe you have worth. Continue reading
Posted Mar 8, 2018 at Joe Martino
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Then we try to soothe our pain. We try to soothe it by working out or making millions of dollars or getting involved in church. We try to outdo our shame, falsely believing that we can outrun it through activity. The net result becomes a heaping of shame on top of shame. Our activity does not do away with our shame; instead, it numbs our response to it. A numb soul tends to be numb to everything. This causes us to pick activities that keep us from connecting with someone else, which causes us to experience more shame. Continue reading
Posted Mar 1, 2018 at Joe Martino
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Few people are actually chasing an affair at first, they are often chasing other things that lead to the affair. But few people, if they are honest with the themselves, will deny that they knew where it was heading when they jumped on the path. If you saw yourself in any of these steps, I can't encourage you enough to seek counseling. Affairs are terrible storms that leave dark and deep swaths of destruction in their wake. Continue reading
Posted Feb 7, 2018 at Joe Martino
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Forgiveness helps us deal with the past. Process allows us to the focus on the future. In focusing on the future, we shape our present. This is why we must examine what we are focusing on. If you don't focus on what you want to become (your future), you will become whatever you are focusing on. Continue reading
Posted Feb 1, 2018 at Joe Martino
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If we want to find true satisfaction, we will have to start with controlling the things we control and accepting the fact that we don't control everything. Energy spent trying to control things we can't control is energy wasted. Continue reading
Posted Jan 25, 2018 at Joe Martino
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People who attempt change, who want to fight against the status quo of their lives will fail more than people who do not worry about changing. Failure is part of the process. If we are going to successfully change something, we will have to overcome Continue reading
Posted Jan 16, 2018 at Joe Martino
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We want to attempt to meet that need. This clinic is our attempt to do that. The Urgent Care Center at JMCN will provide urgent care mental health therapy for people who feel they are in a mental health crisis but cannot see their normal clinician for a period of time. We also want to serve those who do not have a normal clinician and cannot get in to see their preferred clinician in a timely manner. Continue reading
Posted Dec 18, 2017 at Joe Martino
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This is part of a continual series called, "Things I hope my kids learn." I currently have 150 different things written down that I hope they write. You can find the whole series of posts here. #31. Whenever Possible Do Good. So often little opportunities are missed. I was thinking today about the fact that sometimes life gets really complicated, really fast. No matter how hard we try, it can get complicated. One thing that I hope my children learn and apply is to do good. This can be something simple. Sometimes, it will be complex. In fact, sometimes the good they see that needs to be done, they may not be able to do but I hope and pray that they will not allow those things to keep them from doing the things that they can do. Whenever possible, do good. I hope that this won't need much explanation for my children. Continue reading
Posted Nov 28, 2017 at Joe Martino
This video deals with my history of sexual assault at the hands of someone in my neighborhood and the different reactions I've encountered over the years in trying to bring the conversation to light. Continue reading
Posted Nov 13, 2017 at Joe Martino
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Here is my fourth YouTube offering. In this video, I explore the three steps for problem solving. So many couples get into trouble in their conversation because they end up trying to go directly to step #3. Watch the video below and let me know what you think. Thanks. Continue reading
Posted Nov 7, 2017 at Joe Martino
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I often meet people who tell me about their wishes. Sometimes, they call these wishes goals and I call them wishes. They want to do this thing they're talking about.... ......build a business ......start a non-profit .......go back to school .....write a novel ......get healthier ....do something they are not currently doing. When I ask them what is keeping them from doing the thing they want to be doing, I usually hear one of two things. Sometimes, I hear both. "I don't have the time," they say with dour seriousness. "I don't have the resources," gets expressed with equal chagrin. I often push back and ask them how important their wish is to them. They often tell me that it's really important. I will ask them how important again and they will express some agitation at me asking the same question a second time. I often tell them that I find that question to be the most important because I believe that people do what they want to do when they want to do it. I often find that people fail at starting something new because they are unwilling to say no to something that they are currently doing but find unsatisfying. You want to have a family? Well, that's going to impact the amount of times you can hang out with your "bros". You want to get healthier? Well, that's going to force you to change your eating, and sleep habits. You want to have an intimate relationship? Well,... Continue reading
Posted Oct 31, 2017 at Joe Martino
"We need to improve our communication." Sarah* When I asked her what that meant, she told me that she and her husband Ryan needed to be able to talk in a way that didn't lead to stress between them. I followed that question up with what made her think that their communication needed improvement. Ryan jumped in, "Because we get frustrated and mad with each other!" "But what if that's good?" I replied. And we had to end the session by calling the ambulance as they both broke their jaws on the floor at the idea that a therapist could think frustration and conflict was a good thing. (I kid). I still believe this to be true. In fact, I think we can figure out how intimate we are with someone based on how much conflict we wade through with them. I know some people will be and are put off by the idea that friendships can be put into levels but I am uncertain how else to process what is the difference. Level 1. The "Not Really" relationship. This friendship is someone that you wouldn't honestly avoid at all cost if you could do so. When you're in the grocery store and see them in aisle three, you head to aisle nine. But if you they double back on you and your paths cross in aisle seven, you'll give the polite nod and greet mumbling something about the weather or another inane aspect of life. Level 2. The "Sort... Continue reading
Posted Oct 24, 2017 at Joe Martino
Recently a friend of mine had a firestorm of conversation erupt on a post she made on social media. Few of the contributors stopped to consider what lens they were using to understand the post and how that was impacting their statements. While there were many words, there was little communication. Watch this video to learn a tool that will help you to avoid the trap of many words and little communication. Understanding what is going on in your own brain and emotions will help you be a better communicator. Related articles It's not what happens, it's how we attach meaning that matters Continue reading
Posted Oct 23, 2017 at Joe Martino