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Jordan Gray
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"We get on the ride because we know there will be thrills and chills. Nobody gets on a rollercoaster that goes in a straight line. That's what you sign up for when you get on the ride with the rest of us: there will be highs, and there will be lows. And those lows – whether they are, God forbid, your own, or someone else's – are what makes the highs so sweet. The ride is what it is because the pain of those valleys teaches us." I disagree. My first boyfriend and I were together just shy of nine years. He died suddenly last year. He'd be 35 now. It hurts. It fucking hurts and you can't fix it. It's like an exposed live wire in your brain. You get better at avoiding it; you can even forget it sometimes, you're so well-practised at dancing around it; but it's still there and will still hurt you if you touch it. All you can do is slowly learn how to be happy again without feeling guilty that you're still here, learn to keep living and feel good sometimes and do all the things he should be able to do too. Perhaps I'll change my mind one day. But right now? No. I disagree, Jeff. You don't need those lows to treasure the highs. I don't appreciate life any more. I don't feel that I've learned much from the experience. It just fucking hurts and I'd be happier if I didn't have that. This wife will feel sad for a long, long time, I think. She will do her best to keep things together for her children, and eventually reach a place where she can feel happy again for a few days at a time without crashing against the gut-wrenching sadness of losing a husband. But I don't think it will make her happiness any sweeter. If there's a lesson to take from this, Jeff, it would be to look after yourself and your family, and bring them as much happiness as you can right now, every day. Because when something happens to them and it hurts that bad? They won't appreciate the lesson they took from it. They won't savour the highs of life any more. It's part of the ride, but it doesn't make the rest of the ride any better. It just fucking hurts.
Toggle Commented Sep 27, 2012 on Somebody is to Blame for This at Coding Horror
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Sep 27, 2012