You are up on Ban Chan now! Thanks for your patience.

That was Mary

You ROCK so hard.

I believe most (all?) Koreans have dry earwax. I have many memories of having my earwax taken out by older women when I was a child. They use a tiny little scooper thing-y. Looks like a tiny little spoon. I should blog about this.

Thank you! You are so sweet!

Whoa, Ask a Korean!'s translation is even better! http://askakorean.blogspot.com/2012/10/aak-music-gangnam-style-by-psy.html

I have a friend with THREE kids in club level sports. I haven't seen her in years. LOL! Seriously though, her schedule is CRAZY and I don't know how she does it.

My fear about Kim Jong Un is that he grew up as a spoiled brat and doesn't have any emotional connection to the average North Korean citizen. - Mary

ouch

I LOVE this place and I had the pleasure of Julie's company for my first visit. What she doesn't know is that I actually went BACK there with BOTH of my boys because I had 2 hours to kill before a flight.. hahaha Thanks to Julie for taking me to this place. We'll definitely visit again when we are in Orange County.

I loved Solid too! hahaha.

That was Mary C. =)

I love postsecret too! One of the secrets I sent in got posted a long long time ago. I went to the tour too! It was a great experience. The Korean in the postcard is mostly jibberish. =) I can certainly understand why some Koreans don't like being around other Koreans... but I personally don't have anything against being around Koreans. I find that it's easier to make small talk... and I don't have to explain all the cultural things or be judged for certain things.

I think that the fear you have about your future MIL and your fiancee not standing up to her is a pretty common, and legitimate, fear. You can read a lot of advice columns where this issue is addressed . . . add in the Korean MIL factor and it can be down right fearFUL! But rest assured, communicating with your beloved about your needs, insecurities and concerns is the way to go. Because COMMUNICATION is CRITICAL to a successful marriage - and maybe a little distance from MILs. ;)

Dear Jenny, my heart goes out to you. You are NOT a failure. You are strong for protecting yourself. My prayers are with you.

In my opinion, it's not bad etiquette to ask someone what they do for a living. I mean, there is only so much conversation one can have about the weather or sports. I think what is "personal" to someone may not be necessarily "personal" to another person. How do you know if something is going to make someone uncomfortable, until after you ask it? Even something simple like, "How are you?" Can make someone uncomfortable... (If, in fact, they are miserable because something personal happened to them.). I think the fear of offending someone is getting in the way of people progressing from "small talk" to "medium talk" to deep meaningful conversation. - Mary C

not sure...

Yeah, asking a random stranger anything too personal seems like bad etiquette.. but what about someone you meet at drop off at school? Not someone you are totally going to be friends with (in that situation, I would probably ask) but someone who you are know the face of but maybe not their name...

That's how I feel too. I feel like I have created my own new family now and they are and should be my # 1 priority. I mean, I guess it would be a lot more difficult if my dad was closer physically or if my mom were closer.. and every time my dad "jokes" about moving in with me, I half heartedly laugh it off but I REALLY do NOT want him to move in with me ever (unless he quit drinking and turned his life around, then MAYBE). Anyway, sounds like we have pretty similar experiences! Comment more often! =)

Thank you for your thoughtful comment. I think it's great that you are being so understanding of your children. I am grateful to my dad for bringing our family to the states (or rather, I should thank my aunt and grandma) and for providing for me physically. It's really hard for me to put myself in his shoes because I have no idea what he's feeling or thinking most of the time... which is part of the cultural divide, because in Korean culture, older people don't talk about their feelings with the younger people. Anyway, thank you for your comment and good luck with your children!

"Don't tell anyone else" is a Korean thing, IMHO. But it's also a "dysfunctional family" thing. For some twisted reason, what others think of your family becomes more important than truth and honesty. Seriously, my aunt once told me, "Don't tell this stuff to your husband." WTF? Anyway, I hope you can find peace and acceptance of yourself and the decisions you made. Only you can decide what's best for you and what you need. Your dad sounds like he has a mental disorder. No doubt there are lots in our parents generation with undiagnosed depression, bipolar, chemical dependency, PTSD, etc...

I think it's also because our parent's generation get "stuck" in the time period when they immigrated. They're not immersed in Korean culture so they don't make the same cultural progress that Koreans in Korea do, and because of the language gap, they don't follow American social progress either. Apparently, this is a studied phenomenon. Woe is us? =P In all seriousness, I got a taste of the "pressure" when I lived with my mom (I didn't grow up with her). It was INSANE and drove me to depression. A part of me is glad that I'm not that close to my parents. - Mary c

You're right, the doctor didn't hand me the hanyak or write a prescription, but he told my mom exactly what to ask for and where to get it, so I oversimplified things. I edited the post.

nevermind you should have gotten the link. thanks!!!

are you on the Kimchi mamas meet up google group? what's your email? - Mary