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Kevin
Full-time attorney, part-time . . . something.
Interests: bike riding, writing, litigating, conjugating, arguing about useless trivia, trans-atlantic rowing (solo), trans-atlantic rowing (as part of human pyramid), nude civil-war reenacting, team cite-checking (european summer league).
Recent Activity
Some Updates, Which I Guess Have Turned Out to Be Mostly About Randy Quaid
No ruling yet in the case of John Brennan, not the drone-loving CIA director but the heroic anti-TSA protester who stripped naked at Portland International Airport last year. A judge dismissed criminal charges against Brennan on First Amendment grounds but... Continue reading
Posted 7 hours ago at Lowering the Bar
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Does "6" Infringe on "9"? What If It's Upside Down?
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Would you be confused by these marks? Look closely: Image: Consumerist.com The one on the left is the logo of West Sixth Brewing Company in Lexington, Kentucky. The one on the right belongs to Magic Hat Brewing Company, based in... Continue reading
Posted yesterday at Lowering the Bar
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Mom Has Son Arrested for Stealing Her Pop-Tarts
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That headline could just as easily have been something like: "Police Arrest Boy for Stealing Mom's Pop-Tarts"—it just depends whose stupidity you want to highlight, and this is really a toss-up. Few details are available, mainly because everybody involved was... Continue reading
Posted 2 days ago at Lowering the Bar
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This Product Contains 100% Something!
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A reader noticed this label on a carpet: More specifically, this: My first thought was, how do they know? What if I can identify one of the fibers? Can I sue because I was promised a mystery rug? It turns... Continue reading
Posted 3 days ago at Lowering the Bar
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Accused Mustard Vandal and Dog-Puncher Grabs a Couple of Brews During Pursuit
The recent exploits of one Florida man (via the great Twitter feed @_FloridaMan): The bizarre string of incidents began at about 2 a.m. Sunday when a neighbor called police and reported seeing a man climbing up to the second floor... Continue reading
Posted 4 days ago at Lowering the Bar
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Official State Crap: California
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Official state nickname: The Golden State. Official state mineral: gold. Official state motto: "Eureka" (Greek for "I have found it," the "it" in this case probably being gold). Official state flower: the golden poppy. Official state colors: gold (also blue).... Continue reading
Posted 5 days ago at Lowering the Bar
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On Second Thought, Don't Pick Up Any Hatchet-Waving Hitchhikers at All
You may remember Kai, the oddball hitchhiker who became a hero of sorts after he saved a woman in California from an attacker by going after that guy with a hatchet he happened to be carrying. See "Axe-Wielding Hitchhiker Dude... Continue reading
Posted 7 days ago at Lowering the Bar
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Has Justin Bieber Abandoned His Monkey?
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According to Rolling Stone, Justin Bieber's management company has told the shelter currently housing Mally, his 20-week-old capuchin monkey, that Bieber doesn't want the animal and that it should be placed in a zoo. Mally was quarantined by German customs... Continue reading
Posted May 17, 2013 at Lowering the Bar
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Does Eric Holder Know?
Nope. He does not: Of course, neither did Alberto Gonzales, or if he did, he didn't recall: Now, I don't know whether it's worse to not know anything or to not recall anything. I mean, if you don't know, you... Continue reading
Posted May 15, 2013 at Lowering the Bar
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Assorted Stupidity #52
When attorneys get carried away at a press conference: "I have a client who is not only not guilty, he is truly 100% innocent," said the attorney for the man initially charged with sending ricin to federal officials. She was... Continue reading
Posted May 15, 2013 at Lowering the Bar
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Naked TSA Protester's Appeal to Be Heard Tuesday
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As you may recall, John Brennan took off all his clothes last April at an airport checkpoint in Portland to protest being hassled by the TSA (they got a false positive on that swab test), and was then charged with... Continue reading
Posted May 13, 2013 at Lowering the Bar
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Creeps (Back) in the News
There's no shortage of creeps in the news, of course, but two of them have previously appeared here and are especially creeptastic. First, O.J. Simpson, whose most recent appearance here was in 2010, when the Nevada Supreme Court affirmed his... Continue reading
Posted May 13, 2013 at Lowering the Bar
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Mom, I Love You, But Please Don't Write Foreign Leaders Without Telling Me
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Presidential historian Michael Beschloss sends out some great stuff on Twitter (@beschlossDC). On Mother's Day, he tweeted this image of a letter from JFK to his mom, dated November 3, 1962. In it, the President tells his mother he has... Continue reading
Posted May 12, 2013 at Lowering the Bar
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No, You Can't Force Your Employees to Be Scientologists
So says the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission in this press release, describing a lawsuit it filed today (May 9) against a Miami company. According to the EEOC, the company required employees to take Scientology courses and engage in a variety... Continue reading
Posted May 9, 2013 at Lowering the Bar
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John McAfee: "I'm a Master at Sullying My Own Name"
Turns out that former software mogul and current oddball John McAfee successfully escaped the persecution (or prosecution, depending on who you believe) he was facing in Belize. See "If I Am Captured, This Blog Will Continue," Lowering the Bar (Dec.... Continue reading
Posted May 8, 2013 at Lowering the Bar
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Former Judge Ordered to Send Out Pictures of Herself Wearing Handcuffs
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Joan Orie Melvin, previously a justice of the Pennsylvania Supreme Court, was convicted in February of six counts of corruption for using her judicial staff to help her run for office (twice). Three of the charges were felonies, but Melvin... Continue reading
Posted May 8, 2013 at Lowering the Bar
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Judge Orders Prenda Law Group Beamed Out Into Space
For full coverage of the Prenda Law debacle, let me refer you to Popehat, where Ken has been following it closely for a while now and has written many excellent posts on the saga (with help from, among others, Cathy... Continue reading
Posted May 7, 2013 at Lowering the Bar
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Guess What the Air Force's Chief of Sexual Assault Prevention Was Just Arrested For
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Shoplifting! No, I'm just kidding. It was sexual assault. Ironically, according to the website of the U.S. Air Force's Sexual Assault Prevention and Response Program—a program that was led until today by the alleged assailant, who now seems to have... Continue reading
Posted May 6, 2013 at Lowering the Bar
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TIP: If You're Standing in Front of a Car, You Are In a Poor Negotiating Position
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On the other hand, it could get significantly worse: Just to be clear, that car is not parked. It is traveling down a road in Roswell, Georgia, at what I would guess is around 45 mph. The hood ornament is... Continue reading
Posted May 6, 2013 at Lowering the Bar
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U.S. Pat. No. 6,368,227: Method of Swinging on a Swing
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I know what you're thinking, but this inventor is not just talking about the usual method of swinging on a swing, which he himself notes has been "known for generations." It would be stupid to try to patent that. This... Continue reading
Posted May 2, 2013 at Lowering the Bar
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Does Size Matter? (Or, In Memory of Miss Wiggles)
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That's one way the court described the question before it in this case (click for the full opinion): More specifically, the plaintiffs sought an injunction against the enforcement of a San Antonio ordinance that required their dancers to wear more... Continue reading
Posted May 1, 2013 at Lowering the Bar
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Hairy-Visor Infringement Update!
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A reader (Prof. Steve Kass) who was intrigued by yesterday's intellectual-property tale did a little research and uncovered some potentially relevant evidence. First, as you may recall, the plaintiff is seeking a declaratory judgment that it did not infringe on... Continue reading
Posted May 1, 2013 at Lowering the Bar
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Comes Now the Plaintiff, Seeking a Declaratory Judgment of Hairy-Visor Non-Infringement
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1. A recently filed complaint contains the following statement: "U.S. Pat. D557,478 is a design patent for the ornamental design of a visor with simulated hair." 2. Said patent includes sketches of the proposed visor, to wit: 3. In the... Continue reading
Posted Apr 30, 2013 at Lowering the Bar
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WARNING: Peanut Shells May Contain Peanuts
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Here's how utterly ridiculous this story is. In the UK, unshelled peanuts are called "monkey nuts," as depicted here, but although this story therefore involves people being "warned not to eat roasted monkey nuts," THAT IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH BY... Continue reading
Posted Apr 29, 2013 at Lowering the Bar
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Assorted Stupidity #51
"Disciplinary records, ... special-needs records, testing records, addresses, phone numbers, email addresses and birth dates are among some of the data [about school children] that can be shared with the third-party vendors contracting with state and city districts" without parental... Continue reading
Posted Apr 26, 2013 at Lowering the Bar
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