Most seniors will say they want to stay in their own homes rather than make a move. But one thing we’ve learned after talking with thousands of seniors and their families is that most people really don’t understand what assisted living is. And many children don’t understand the extent of services that can be provided in assisted living or the benefits that come from having a loved one live in a community setting. Continue reading

Whether you are considering moving now or sometime in the future, you’ve probably struggled with the thought of having to sort through the many things you’ve accumulated over time. The thought of downsizing can be over-whelming and often results in procrastination. The good news is, with a little help, this project can be manageable. Continue reading

Not surprisingly, more Americans are finding themselves caring for older adults, often cobbling together various resources to cover their loved one’s needs. How do you know when what you are doing is no longer enough? The vast majority of our elders want to stay in their homes for as long as possible, but when is living there no longer living well? Let’s explore four key things to consider. Continue reading

One of the more difficult things for a family to do is initiate a conversation with aging loved ones about their changing health needs, concern about safety in their current living situation and discussion around “what next”. Regardless of how much love they express or how caring they approach the subject, it can be challenging for all parties, family and senior alike. Now add to that formula the diagnosis of Alzheimer’s or dementia and you’ve just made the task nearly impossible. Continue reading

Having supported so many families through this transition over the years, I can vouch for the fact that the most difficult and least successful transitions are those that are prompted by a crisis. There’s no time to gain a family consensus, our loved one’s input is often not something we can solicit in those circumstances, and we have to make some quick decisions. Not exactly the formula for success. Continue reading

Each family has to come together for the sake of their aging parents. Achieving consensus can be difficult when some siblings live a distance away and care giving is not equally shared. If the time comes that the sibling providing the most care determines that living alone is no longer an option, engaging everyone, including Mom or Dad if possible, in an honest and honoring discussion is key. Continue reading

At some point adult children have to realize that the most honoring thing they can do for their loved one is to do what’s right, make the tough decisions, and love them enough to allow them to get mad. This is not easy, but then a lot of things in life aren’t. What’s even harder is not making the decision, avoiding the confrontation today, only to have a greater crisis occur tomorrow. Continue reading

Set the stage for a successful conversation. Open with clarity, laced with a heavy dose of compassion. State up front, “We’ve talked a lot about my concern for you, and you know I’d like to see you move. I love you and want what’s best for you. But I don’t want to talk about that today, I want to listen today. I want to ask you a few questions and I really want to know how you feel about some things.” Continue reading

What do you tend to do when you are preparing to broach the subject of moving with your parents? When we prepare for difficult conversations, we tend to play out the conversation in our head in advance. We prepare our arguments and our best come backs, because we know we are right, right? And then once we start the actual conversation, we feel compelled to say everything we rehearsed regardless of the other person’s responses. We stop listening; we are more intent on what we are saying. Continue reading

The holiday season is upon us, a time when families gather and share the joy of the season. Having had the pleasure of working with older adults for many years I’ve learned that when families come together they often notice that mom or dad may not be doing as well as the last time they saw them. Sometimes it’s a subtle change, other times it’s clear they’re no longer safe in their current environment. But opening up the subject of a move can be daunting for parent and child alike. With that in mind I thought it would be timely to repost a series of articles I’ve previously written on “How to have an honest yet honoring conversation with your loved one.” Continue reading

Many of us look at the approaching holidays and begin to struggle with gift ideas for the older adults in their lives. It can be difficult, since as we age we tend to desire less “stuff”. This year, why not turn things around and help your loved one with their giving? Continue reading

Guest Author, Diane Szalai, Director of Dining Services Most seniors and their adult children have gotten the message that to stay healthy they need to exercise and focus some attention on strength training to improve balance and muscle strength. What many people do not realize is that researchers are learning... Continue reading

September means I get more calls from adult children who want to begin to learn more about senior living options. I welcome these calls because it means they’re beginning to create a plan instead of waiting for a crisis to occur which unfortunately I see happening all too often. Having a plan in place can make all the difference for a family. Too many people confuse the action of developing a plan, with executing it. Having a plan does not necessarily mean that a parent has to move now. What a plan does represent is that a family is better prepared for what the future may bring. Continue reading

NPR wrapped up the series Family Matters on Morning Edition, with a conversation featuring all three caregivers they have been following for the past several weeks. Each of these families is caring for their loved one at home and not without considerable sacrifices. Their commitment is laudable. The advice they give at the end of the interview is spot on for anyone who is facing caring for an older adult, whether they choose to take them into their home or find a different care option. Continue reading

Not all families can take an elder into their home and there should be no guilt if that’s not an option that will work for you. Many working couples cannot be present during the day, and some older adults do not have children or grandchildren who can step in. The good news is there are other viable options and families owe it to themselves to learn about them. Continue reading

Tuesday’s segment in the series “Family Matters” on NPR’s Morning Edition touched on a very important aspect of caring for an older adult: the process families must go through to manage the financial side of finding the right care solution. The Christian family made the decision to sell the family home in order to use the proceeds to pay for their mother’s care. For some families, selling the home may be the best decision financially, but it can be the toughest emotionally. Continue reading

May is Older Americans Month and a time that we tend to celebrate the achievement of our residents. And these are considerable! A benefit of living in community with other seniors is that seeing someone else enjoy a hobby like quilting or painting, or taking on a volunteer job, can inspire one to try something new. Continue reading

I have been following the series Family Matters: The Money Squeeze being aired Tuesdays on NPR’s Morning Edition. Each week they touch on important topics about caring for older adults. Listen to the report from May 8th Long-Term-Care Insurance: Who Needs It? It focused on paying for such care, and not just long- term care insurance as one source of funding. More importantly it reinforced the need for families to prepare themselves. Continue reading

The series Family Matters: The Money Squeeze being aired each Tuesday on NPR’s Morning Edition should probably be required listening for anyone over the age of 50 whose parents are still alive. Why? Nearly 10 million people 50+ (and most are women) are caring for aging parents today. Continue reading

When families look to us for answers about dementia care, we counsel them that there is no one right answer. Each family must find the care solution that makes sense for their loved one and family. Continue reading

On April 17th, National Public Radio’s Morning Edition began what promises to be a thought-provoking series on the financial issues many families face as they grapple with caring for an elderly parent Continue reading

Many seniors continue to live in their own homes well into their 80’s and 90’s and seem to manage reasonably well. But are they really living “independently” and what does their quality of life look like? Often they remain in their home only because their children, relative or neighbor are... Continue reading

Guest Author, Diane Szalai, Director of Dining Services At the beginning of each year, there is a tradition for food columnists to identify upcoming trends in foods and tell us what food trends from the prior year are out of favor. This is always an amusing process. This year’s columnists... Continue reading

Are you one of those people who have discovered that somehow, someway, someone snuck into your house and left behind a whole lot of stuff? How did it all accumulate in your house? And what is in those boxes in the back bedroom that aren't clearly labeled? If you're like... Continue reading

As families gather together around the holidays and spend a significant amount of time with their aging parents, it is very common for them to begin to discuss different living options. Once the decision is made to look into senior communities, it is also common to feel a bit overwhelmed... Continue reading